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Hoarding tendency strikes


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I have a swag that has been schrodingers lost item for several months. A friend took it interstate to use at a protest camp, left the camp without it intending to use it when she returned, she never returned, and lost contact with the camp.


I visited this camp once and it did not strike me as the kind of community who would readily return it to me if I went asking. Friend remains without transport and without contacts there so let’s face it, that item is gone.


Now it’s not schrodingers lost but actual lost I feel a lot of anxiety and sadness around it. Find a way to drive 700km to try and get it back amounts of anxiety. I won’t act on that I know it’s a disproportionate reaction to a loss. An item just like it can be purchased at a later date when I actually need it (the friend who lost it was quick to offer money to replace it but it’s not that I want to have access to a swag, it’s that I want to have back My swag)


Argh I hate feeling like this over something so trivial.

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Hey 1a1a,


I actually had to research what a 'swag' is after reading your post! Finally understand that classic Aussie line 'Once a jolly swagman...'! I understand it is disappointing when a mate lets you down like this, but at least they are doing the right thing offering to replace it. Not much to else add apart from condolences and say, without diminishing, there is a kind of poetic irony reading your signature at the bottom....



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From what I remember you seem to be on the road a lot and live a nomadic and intense lifestyle. It wouldn't be unusual to develop a relationship or affinity to certain objects if those objects can be carried with you from place to place. Anyway, sayonara to that thing. It's long gone. Think about what it might be like though to one day stumble over it again somewhere, some place out there.

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Well, the next best thing is to take your friend's offer and replace your swag. If not, then hopefully you'll eventually outgrow your angst over losing your swag.


I like my stuff, too. My guilty pleasure are my designer handbags! I can't do without those for every occasion.


Btw, a long time ago, I lent a neighborhood friend some of my treasured, precious toys which my parents bought for me from overseas. You could not find these unique toys in the states. My friend took a very long time returning my items. When she did, she trashed them, they were dunked in water, dirty and no longer in pristine condition. To say I was furious would've been a gross understatement! :upset: Ever since that day, I've NEVER allowed anyone to borrow anything of mine. I keep all my belongings in mint condition.


If anyone wants my valuables, they can buy their own. They're not getting it from me!

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If it's a favorite collectible well that makes it understandable. You mention hoarding, do you think it's the problem?

Find a way to drive 700km to try and get it back amounts of anxiety.


The DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for hoarding disorder are:


Persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions, regardless of the value others may attribute to these possessions.

This difficulty is due to strong urges to save items and/or distress associated with discarding.

The symptoms result in the accumulation of a large number of possessions that fill up and clutter active living areas of the home or workplace to the extent that their intended use is no longer possible. If all living areas become decluttered, it is only because of the interventions of third parties (e.g., family members, cleaners, authorities).

The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning (including maintaining a safe environment for self and others).

The hoarding symptoms are not due to a general medical condition (e.g., brain injury, cerebrovascular disease).

The hoarding symptoms are not restricted to the symptoms of another mental disorder (e.g., hoarding due to obsessions in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, decreased energy in Major Depressive Disorder, delusions in Schizophrenia or another Psychotic Disorder, cognitive deficits in Dementia, restricted interests in Autism Spectrum Disorder, food storing in Prader–Willi syndrome).

Understanding the age of onset of hoarding behavior can help develop methods of treatment for this “substantial functional impairment." Hoarders pose danger to not only themselves, but others as well. The prevalence of compulsive hoarding in the community has been estimated at between 2% and 5%, significantly higher than the rates of OCD, panic disorder, schizophrenia, and other mental disorders.

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I also had to google it. I am sorry you lost it. I can relate to the feeling and I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I agree to buy a new swag which might help you move on.


I didn't but, while it is unfortunate to lose your swag, ... you can get another one. It's like buying a new car.

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My mother gave me a necklace for my 21st BDay 30 years ago. I never took it off and it traveled the world with me....


It came off in the surf the other day and it’s gone forever...


Just another lesson in letting go bro....It’s a good skill to have*



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I think everyone hates to part with personal items that are meaningful to them but when every nook and cranny in your home is filled to capacity that's another story.


My mother is a hoarder and it drives me bananas but I understand her anxiety with not wanting to part with stuff.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I lurked and read your replies and appreciated them all immensely.


Carus you’re dead right, another chance to practice (and I need a looooot of practice). I lost some things when I was on tour and kept telling myself losing them is the literal cost of getting to see more of the world, no travel without loss!


I also found myself contemplating how If Britain had never colonised Australia, swags wouldn’t exist and neither would the need for the protest camp where it’s been left (protesting the looming destruction of sacred trees over 800 years old for a stupid highway extension that’ll shorten the trip by 3 minutes).


Sad feelings passed, and then a camping invitation was extended bumping the scab, but the inviter has a spare one I can use and the friend has agreed to put some money towards a replacement and I must call it done and keep practicing letting go.

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