Ex unblocked me

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear all this. Don't suffer alone, yes get to a doctor/therapist and don't drown your sorrows in the bottle. She is cutting you out of her life because she found another wallet.

I am considering therapy for sure for my breakup. Why do you think she deleted her facebook page?

[boltnrun]

I am considering therapy for sure for my breakup. As far as my daughter she is fine, and I appreciate your concern, because I would be thinking the same way as you if I read my story. No matter what happens to me, my heart is big enough to be a good father to her. I just cant stop missing my ex:(

 

I just cant accept that she is gone. Why do you think she deleted her facebook page?? Its been 2 months

 

Crying for hours and drinking excessively and spending hours on your phone or computer searching for signs this woman is coming back to you does indeed affect your child.

 

I never understand why some people think their children are totally oblivious to their moods. Children are highly intelligent and sensitive and pick up on things, even when you think you've been excellent at hiding them.

 

I don't doubt you're a good father. I'm sure you are. But this behavior and your moods are not good for either you or your child. And deliberately choosing to feel this way? Very unhealthy.

 

Please do more than "consider" therapy.

[Jambalaya421]

Crying for hours and drinking excessively and spending hours on your phone or computer searching for signs this woman is coming back to you does indeed affect your child.

 

I never understand why some people think their children are totally oblivious to their moods. Children are highly intelligent and sensitive and pick up on things, even when you think you've been excellent at hiding them.

 

I don't doubt you're a good father. I'm sure you are. But this behavior and your moods are not good for either you or your child. And deliberately choosing to feel this way? Very unhealthy.

 

Please do more than "consider" therapy.

 

say for exaple she does reach out and say the things you want to hear! youre in no position to capture the lightning in the bottle. your current statewill ruin it.

 

delete her bookmarks, and quit looking at instagram etc. get better. it is healthy to miss someone and I thought I was bad. but crying for hours on end? this is your sign you need some help.

[Dmk1986e]

I thought what I have been going through is normal. Guess not. I just need to learn to cope better. I am still funcioning okay, still working, taking care of all the things I need to focus on in my life(as hard as it is) but the sadness will not let up. Especially when I am not busy.

 

I will stop obsessively searching for her presence online. I need to try something new to help me move on. I hope I can find my balance again as more time passes. It's only been two months. Looking forward to better days...

[ninjabib]

YOu should have her blocked on everything by now. Thats the first step and an easy one at that.

[boltnrun]

Please reread your post from 9:56 pm last night ( or whatever time it was locally ). You are definitely not "functioning okay".

 

If you heard someone else was acting and feeling that way, would you think they were functioning okay?

 

Are you opposed to therapy for some reason?

[Dmk1986e]

Please reread your post from 9:56 pm last night ( or whatever time it was locally ). You are definitely not "functioning okay".

 

If you heard someone else was acting and feeling that way, would you think they were functioning okay?

 

Are you opposed to therapy for some reason?

 

Yeah I know:( Yesterday was a bad day. I was drinking when I posted. Will cut back on that I can see it doesen't help.

 

Some days are better than others, on the weekends I feel worse. If I cry for a few hours at time, its at night, it is not constant tears the entire time. It's like waves of sadness that vary in intensity. It makes me realize I actually did love her deeply.

 

What is hurting me so much at the moment is I know I have to let her go so I can heal. I am struggling trying to accept that right now but I know there is no other way forward. I will try therapy.

[Wiseman2]

Did she leave because of the drinking? Have you considered that this may be a catch-22? That your heartaches are caused by drinking and your drinking causes more heartaches? You must realize this gold-digger's departure is not the core source of your depressive ruminations or binge drinking, right? However is it possible your love life locally or otherwise is in shambles because of isolation, drinking and maudlin attitudes? Interestingly a long distance phantom allows you to be alone with your alcohol. Someone real and local would ask you to step up and stop or walk away. Why not try looking at AA online to see if problem drinking is an issues?

I was drinking when I posted. I cry for a few hours at time, its at night.

[Dmk1986e]

Did she leave because of the drinking? Have you considered that this may be a catch-22? That your heartaches are caused by drinking and your drinking causes more heartaches? You must realize this gold-digger's departure is not the core source of your depressive ruminations or binge drinking, right? However is it possible your love life locally or otherwise is in shambles because of isolation, drinking and maudlin attitudes? Interestingly a long distance phantom allows you to be alone with your alcohol. Someone real and local would ask you to step up and stop or walk away. Why not try looking at AA online to see if problem drinking is an issues?

 

Yeah definately drinking only intensifies the heartbreak. The next day especially. Taking a big step back from that. I just wish she was still part of my life. It's so hard letting go of her so I can begin healing. That's why I am stuck and in so much pain.

 

No when I was in Brasil with her I would only drink socially, very rarely, like once a month. I normally do not drink at all, but since the breakup I have been once or twice a week at most. It's really not a factor at all and I know I can control it.

[Dmk1986e]

Well, almost 2 months solid of no contact between us, and she emailed me Merry Christmas today:( She immediately mentioned our relationship, that she would not be "totally happy" at my side, but she likes me as a friend, and hopes I find someone because I am a "beautiful man" in every way.

 

She already said ALL OF THAT BEFORE. Why would she reach out to me AGAIN? Why would she mention our relationship once again? She made it very clear we are finished already, so why mention our relationship?? Baffles me.

 

My last text to her 2 months ago I said I could never be her friend, because I still love her. But here she is talking about shes my "friend." I am still unblocked on whatsapp, but remain blocked on instagram.

 

I got therapy, stopped drinking, have been healing slowly, was at the start of accepting a new life without her, now I don't know what to feel, or what to do. I am shaking all over. Ignore her I suppose. I guess she is feeling guilty, bored, and wants to see how I react? Any insight would be appreciated. Merry Christmas.

[boltnrun]

Why don't you block her and be done with all this? Your reactions are harmful to your well being.

 

You should be celebrating Christmas with your child, not shaking over some user woman.

 

She probably wants you on the hook for more money. Not a nice woman.

[Camber 2019]

IGNORE her and Move on!

 

You have more self respect than that, don't you?

 

The best revenge is to to live a happy and fulfilling life... sincerely. Move on, you do not need her!

[Wiseman2]

Excellent. Merry Christmas. Stop telling her you love her.

I said I could never be her friend, because I still love her.

I got therapy, stopped drinking, have been healing slowly. Merry Christmas.

[ninjabib]

You carry on with the things you are doing and YOU BLOCK HER on everything, not wait for her to unblock you. Take control of your life. Ignore anything she managed to send you.

[Dmk1986e]

I will not reply to her. Knowing why she contacted me today is not relavant to my healing, but I am still trying to understand it:(

 

Still, just knowing she is thinking of me, or at least thought of me today, is very painful.

 

I clearly told her I will never be her friend. So why is she still reaching out to me??

[boltnrun]

I will not reply to her. Knowing why she contacted me today is not relavant to my healing, but I am still trying to understand it:(

 

Still, just knowing she is thinking of me, or at least thought of me today, is very painful.

 

I clearly told her I will never be her friend. So why is she still reaching out to me??

 

Because you refuse to block her.

 

You yourself said "why" doesn't matter. So what's the point of asking again why she's doing this?

 

Enjoy the holiday with your child. You absolutely must not allow this to affect your mood or conduct. Don't spoil the holiday for your child.

[ninjabib]

Boltnrun is right.

 

She contacts you because she knows you haven't blocked her.

 

You haven't blocked her because you are weak for her and don't respect yourself.

 

Shes thinking if he doesn't respect himself so why should I? If he hasn't blocked me by now then he wants my contact.

 

It's not hard. Block her and it all ends.

[Wiseman2]

Because you keep telling her you love her and because you refuse to block her.

So why is she still reaching out to me??

[RayRay63]

Go with the obvious (what a lot of people won't do around here). They're thinking about you and opened up a door to future communication. That's what you should take away from it.

 

Unfortunately it is likely communication to ask for money.

[Dmk1986e]

Thanks again to everyone that took the time to reply. You have all been helpful. I am tired of the pain, I think I reached the limit of what I can endure, for the better. Why should I miss someone that doesent miss me??

 

I told her before no contact I can never be her friend, yet here she is extending offer of friendship again. Why??? (Besides money)

 

Anyway, Ignoring her email and not replying felt good.

 

Another girl I have not heard from in a while randomly wished me a merry christmas, and it felt good to reply to her. I am moving on.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

[Wiseman2]

Same to you.🎉 Glad you are reconnecting with others and coming out of the fog.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

[Dmk1986e]

Here we go again. I ignored her christmas email. This morning she sent another, and she basically said the same thing as the last email. Happy new year, hope you find love, be happy etc. Repeating herself.

 

3 months since breakup, and 2 months no contact from me.

 

What is weird is she used my middle name, which she used to affectionately call me often when we were together. I don't know what to make of this. She obviously wants me to reach out. She is testing the waters to see if I moved on? I dont care either way, I am done with her. Just curious.

 

I did not block her email because I honestly did not expect to hear from her again. Thoughts???

[boltnrun]

You didn't block her email because you're actually hoping to hear from her again.

 

We already told you...you are someone she could get to give her money, so why wouldn't she try to keep her hooks in you? She gets you to respond and the next message would be oh, I love and miss you so much, oh by the way my electricity is about to be cut off and my mother needs surgery, oh, I don't know how I'll find a way to pay for it all!!! And you want her back so you'll eagerly send the money.

 

At least that's the way she plans for it all to play out.

 

You could stop this but you choose not to. And you do care or you would block her and be done with it.

[ninjabib]

Just block her email now. Then it's final. Her emails mean nothing.

[RayRay63]

Here we go again. I ignored her christmas email. This morning she sent another, and she basically said the same thing as the last email. Happy new year, hope you find love, be happy etc. Repeating herself.

 

3 months since breakup, and 2 months no contact from me.

 

What is weird is she used my middle name, which she used to affectionately call me often when we were together. I don't know what to make of this. She obviously wants me to reach out. She is testing the waters to see if I moved on? I dont care either way, I am done with her. Just curious.

 

I did not block her email because I honestly did not expect to hear from her again. Thoughts???

 

She is breadcrumbing you to see if she still has a hold on you. I don't think you should reply.

 

If you do, the only reply should be "Hi how are you lets go on a date or stop bugging me", but seeing as she is Brazil, forget it and just block her email.