Wiseman2 Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 If you're interested but on the fence, ask her out again. Then you'll have your answer - yes or no. Don't tiptoe around timidly looking for "signs". Link to comment
loyal Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 and you want to know what happened with that girl you read about in my previous post?.... I ended up reaching out to her after a week, and guest what? she wasn't interested.... I was right, and I looked like the fool... if a girl his hot and heavy for a guy from the start, then stops reaching out to him... 9 times out of 10 she lost attraction for w.e reason. She probably thought YOU were not interested. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 and you want to know what happened with that girl you read about in my previous post?.... I ended up reaching out to her after a week, and guest what? she wasn't interested.... I was right, and I looked like the fool... Bolded, I don't understand this mindset, would someone mind explaining it? Serious question. Why would you feel like a "fool" for reaching out and expressing interest? Even when a woman rejects you? Why is that foolish? I've reached out, a few times to the same man and was ignored, and I never felt foolish. I felt disappointment but not foolish. There is nothing foolish about expressing interest Sixers, that's your problem right there. You're all wrapped up in your ego; step away from your ego, and enjoy the process. Some women will go for you, some won't, but don't ever feel foolish for trying. That, imo is being foolish. Link to comment
bluecastle Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Time for a whole new approach here, and some tweaks to the attitude. First off, no one "looks like a fool" for reaching out to someone and being told that someone is no longer interested. That's just "being a human." It's a thing that happens. That you phrased it that way leads me to believe that not looking like a fool is very, very important to you. More important, perhaps, than genuinely connecting. Secondly? A lot of people who are "hot and heavy for a guy from the start" are just #thirstyaf, to put it in Snap terms. That can be a lot of fun, no doubt. You swipe right, match, and are hooking up and getting hit up 48 hours later. You sit around zoning out on Snap, and they just hit you up again, down to get down. Tends to flame out quick. And, c'mon, can you blame a woman for continuing to look for something more to quench her thirst than a dude in a Sixers jersey who literally never texts her to hang out? That's the dude you are these days, you know? I think there's a better, bigger dude in there. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 I went on a date last Friday and on the surface the date went ok. After the date was over I had a feeling that she wasn't that into me. The vibe just felt a little off, plus she would be on her phone on and off, which I didn't like. She texted me later on that night making sure that I got home ok and I responded back by saying that I made it home safely and I thanked her. Her and I became snap chat friends and I have noticed that she has been viewing the majority of my post since the date. It got me thinking that maybe she was into me more then I thought, I mean she was playing with her hair and giving me strong eye contact while we were out.. that seems like a good sign. Should I reach out to her and go for a second date, or just chalk this one up? I haven't heard from her since last Friday. It doesn't sound like she's interested. Sorry. If she is interested and she behaves this way, I'm not sure if she has an attention deficit disorder or rude in general. Do you find her attractive at all? If you do, maybe it's a good idea to ask yourself why. Usually nervous individuals finger their hair. I wouldn't use this as an indicator for interest. I think you're wasting a lot of time thinking about this one person. Is it not possible to go on other dates? Link to comment
DancingFool Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 and you want to know what happened with that girl you read about in my previous post?.... I ended up reaching out to her after a week, and guest what? she wasn't interested.... I was right, and I looked like the fool... if a girl his hot and heavy for a guy from the start, then stops reaching out to him... 9 times out of 10 she lost attraction for w.e reason. You waited an entire week to finally reach out and you are surprised she had given up and moved on by then? You've got to be joking. You are so insecure and so afraid of rejection that you are rejecting yourself before anyone even has a chance. With that attitude, get a blow up doll and get used to the single life. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 You waited an entire week to finally reach out and you are surprised she had given up and moved on by then? You've got to be joking. You are so insecure and so afraid of rejection that you are rejecting yourself before anyone even has a chance. With that attitude, get a blow up doll and get used to the single life. LMAO, you're on fire today DF! Spot on! Link to comment
Sixersfan234 Posted July 17, 2019 Author Share Posted July 17, 2019 You waited an entire week to finally reach out and you are surprised she had given up and moved on by then? You've got to be joking. You are so insecure and so afraid of rejection that you are rejecting yourself before anyone even has a chance. With that attitude, get a blow up doll and get used to the single life. Who cares if i waited a week to reach out... the fact that i reached out to her is good enough. If a girl is going to get pissed off that i waited a "week" to reach out to her, then shes not the one for me anyway.. Link to comment
Sixersfan234 Posted July 17, 2019 Author Share Posted July 17, 2019 what girl would you date?.... a girl that gets pissed off that a guy took a week to get in touch? or a girl thats GLAD a guy even got in touch to begin with......... yea ill choose the second girl.... Link to comment
bluecastle Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 I'm not sure if you're seeing it, but your attitude isn't super cute. Let's start with this last girl. What was it, really, that you liked about her? Seems to begin and end with the fact that she reached out to you every 2-3 days to hookup. You sat there, she came to you. When day four hit you got panicky enough to start a thread on here when you could have done the very thing she had done many, many times over: said hey, thinking about you, what's up? But you weren't really thinking about her, were you? You were thinking about you. Fast forward to Friday's date and it's really the same thing. It's been four days, and you're frustrated that she's not coming around while you sit still. If you were remotely interested in her from a genuine place—or at least not so petrified of someone turning you down—you wouldn't be talking to us but just saying: hey, Friday was fun, what are you up to this weekend? What it seems you want is to be doted on. Just going out on a limb here, but that sort of attitude is something women have a keen nose to sniff out. It doesn't get their blood boiling—and, well, those for whom it does? Very short shelf life. You're making it sound like she was "pissed" that you took a week to get in touch. You seem incapable of understanding that from her point of view it was weeks in which you never got in touch, and that you only got in touch when she stopped doting on you. The cologne of insincerity and entitlement is not one many people, women in particular, find seductive. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Who cares if i waited a week to reach out... the fact that i reached out to her is good enough. If a girl is going to get pissed off that i waited a "week" to reach out to her, then shes not the one for me anyway.. what girl would you date?.... a girl that gets pissed off that a guy took a week to get in touch? or a girl thats GLAD a guy even got in touch to begin with......... yea ill choose the second girl.... I see your point, in fact I know a lot of men who feel that way. Many wait intentionally as some sort of a shyt test, which both men and women play. For me, if I had a good time with a guy on our first date, it wouldn't "piss me off" or "turn me off" if he waited a week, I am not that entitled. lol He's busy, I'm busy, I don't sit around waiting - my attitude is always, if he calls great, if not that's fine too. I don't get hung up on time tables, so yeah, if I were attracted to him, I'd be happy to hear from him, and we'd take it from there. That said, I could do without the attitude, the negative energy, which women can sense whether you realize it or not. That might turn me off. Link to comment
Sixersfan234 Posted July 17, 2019 Author Share Posted July 17, 2019 blue castle. There's nothing wrong with my attitude. Your missing the point. I liked the first girl.. she was cool..it was more than just sex... after a couple days went by i decided to reach out to her, cuz i wanted to see her, and that was that. It doesn't matter if i reach out to her a week later, or even two weeks later. She wasn't my girlfriend, so i dont have any obligation to her. With women i take measured steps. So many guys now a days are so quick to put a ring on a girls finger after the first date. With me i take my time... i think to myself if i even want to see a girl again after we had a first date.... like i said before i want a girl that gets excited when i call/text her, not a girl that gets butt hurt that i waited a week to contact her..... that just me..i like a girl with a good attitude. Link to comment
Sixersfan234 Posted July 17, 2019 Author Share Posted July 17, 2019 I see your point, in fact I know a lot of men who feel that way. Many wait intentionally as some sort of a shyt test, which both men and women play. For me, if I had a good time with a guy on our first date, it wouldn't "piss me off" or "turn me off" if he waited a week, I am not that entitled. lol He's busy, I'm busy, I don't sit around waiting - my attitude is always, if he calls great, if not that's fine too. I don't get hung up on time tables, so yeah, if I were attracted to him, I'd be happy to hear from him, and we'd take it from there. That said, I could do without the attitude, the negative energy, which women can sense whether you realize it or not. That might turn me off. A MEN to that... looks like your a great women Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 blue castle. There's nothing wrong with my attitude. Your missing the point. I liked the first girl.. she was cool..it was more than just sex... after a couple days went by i decided to reach out to her, cuz i wanted to see her, and that was that. It doesn't matter if i reach out to her a week later, or even two weeks later. She wasn't my girlfriend, so i dont have any obligation to her. With women i take measured steps. So many guys now a days are so quick to put a ring on a girls finger after the first date. With me i take my time... i think to myself if i even want to see a girl again after we had a first date.... like i said before i want a girl that gets excited when i call/text her, not a girl that gets butt hurt that i waited a week to contact her..... that just me..i like a girl with a good attitude. Sixers, I know you've been getting beat up pretty bad here, even by me, but just wanted to say, I agree with your above post, nothing wrong with taking your time, letting things marinate a bit after a first date, figure out your next move. Or simply being busy, and waiting a few days, up to a week to contact a woman again. And yeah if she gets pissed off because of that, probably not a good match for you anyway. But DF did make a good point about your fearing rejection too much. So much that you become a bit passive, afraid to put yourself out there and take risks. Like with this girl, I can't say if she's into you or not, however she did reach out first after your date, even if just to ask if you got home safe. Which would suggest she's interested, I highly doubt she would have done that if she were not. So now it's your turn, again assuming you like her and want to date her. My advice, send her a text, ask her out again. What have you got to lose? Take a chance. Link to comment
bluecastle Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 I hear you, buddy. Thing is? This "butt hurt" stuff seems to be there on both sides of the equation, at least in the way you're talking about all this. With the first woman you kind of got exactly what you want: she texted you, and texted you, and texted you. Then she didn't. Lost interest. Happens. But you felt like a "fool" the one time you texted her? I get "taking your time," believe me. I've got a big, rich life without dating. I don't need to lock anything down or be locked down quickly, and I don't like a lot of texting. I don't get itchy when someone doesn't text me, and I don't like dating people who have that quality. Maybe because I have that quality I tend to attract people with a similar mindset, as I just never find myself in these little cat and mouse games. But I also really, genuinely do not care if a woman isn't into me for the first few hangs. I can shake that stuff off in minutes, don't take it personally. Because, you see, I move slow. My feelings take time to develop, and my ego gets its rocks off elsewhere so I can be pretty humble when it comes to dating. There's a lack of humility poking through here that's a bit of a buzzkill. Feels a lot, as I put it in another post, that your fear of rejection drives you more than your interest in connection. Link to comment
Sixersfan234 Posted July 18, 2019 Author Share Posted July 18, 2019 UPDATE: I reached out to her and she never responded lol... what I learned is to trust your gut. Like I mentioned in the original post, the vibe was just off when I met her. I should have left it alone, but my head was telling me to reach out.. it’s ok though.. PLENTY out there. Link to comment
Sixersfan234 Posted July 18, 2019 Author Share Posted July 18, 2019 I take that back. I contacted her yesterday. She responded back today, which communicates her level of interest is low.... Link to comment
boltnrun Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 I take that back. I contacted her yesterday. She responded back today, which communicates her level of interest is low.... But you said before that she should be fine with YOU waiting a week to contact her! I'm confused by all your "rules"... Link to comment
boltnrun Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 Who cares if i waited a week to reach out... the fact that i reached out to her is good enough. If a girl is going to get pissed off that i waited a "week" to reach out to her, then shes not the one for me anyway.. But you're mad she waited one day??? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 Are you still interested? How did she respond to your asking her out on a date? I wouldn't consider 24 hrs response time "low interest". If you're no longer interested just drop it.I contacted her yesterday. She responded back today, which communicates her level of interest is low.... Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 Good lordy you are your own worst enemy. Bolt made a good point, it's ok for you to wait a week to contact a girl, but God forbid a girl takes ONE day to respond, and her interest is "low"? Dude, you need to reign your ego in, it seems like you literally need women to either chase you or jump like puppies whenever you decide to grace them with your virtual presence. Worthy of note, after she contacted you after your date last Friday, you waited FIVE days to reach out. In turn, she took ONE day. This would suggest her interest is high, but nevermind. I have no advice at this point, but good luck. Link to comment
Sixersfan234 Posted July 18, 2019 Author Share Posted July 18, 2019 But you're mad she waited one day??? where did i say i was mad?....... Link to comment
Sixersfan234 Posted July 18, 2019 Author Share Posted July 18, 2019 Good lordy you are your own worst enemy. Bolt made a good point, it's ok for you to wait a week to contact a girl, but God forbid a girl takes ONE day to respond, and her interest is "low"? Dude, you need to reign your ego in, it seems like you literally need women to either chase you or jump like puppies whenever you decide to grace them with your virtual presence. Worthy of note, after she contacted you after your date last Friday, you waited FIVE days to reach out. In turn, she took ONE day. This would suggest her interest is high, but nevermind. I have no advice at this point, but good luck. reaching out vs responding are two different things.... who cares if i waited 5 days.. i reached out didn't I? Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 reaching out vs responding are two different things.... who cares if i waited 5 days.. i reached out didn't I? Yes and she responded back. Fabulous! You're interested, she's interested. So what you gonna do about that, have you asked her out again? Just out of curiosity, how old are you? Link to comment
Sixersfan234 Posted July 18, 2019 Author Share Posted July 18, 2019 Yes and she responded back. Fabulous! You're interested, she's interested. So what you gonna do about that, have you asked her out again? Just out of curiosity, how old are you? how old are you? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.