C2459 Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 I've been living with a guy for 5 years . He is much younger than me but we were happy but now he says he wants to be friends and go out with someone else. Obviously I'm heartbroken as I've been relegated to friend.the trouble is he cant afford to move out so I have to watch him go off under my nose. It's so painful I cant function. He has aspergers so doesn't understand why I am struggling. For him straightforward he wants this and why cant I deal with the rejection. Anyone got any advice I am collapsing under the pain Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 Has he got no friends or family he can stay with instead? Is his name on the lease? Link to comment
C2459 Posted May 9, 2019 Author Share Posted May 9, 2019 Not really and no it's in my name. Because of aspergers bit of a loner. Think that's why I found him so addictive. He only wanted to be with me . Link to comment
boltnrun Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 Not really and no it's in my name. Because of aspergers bit of a loner. Think that's why I found him so addictive. He only wanted to be with me . Where did he live before he moved in with you? Was he homeless? Link to comment
Billie28 Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 I've been living with a guy for 5 years . He is much younger than me but we were happy but now he says he wants to be friends and go out with someone else. Obviously I'm heartbroken as I've been relegated to friend.the trouble is he cant afford to move out so I have to watch him go off under my nose. It's so painful I cant function. He has aspergers so doesn't understand why I am struggling. For him straightforward he wants this and why cant I deal with the rejection. Anyone got any advice I am collapsing under the pain While he might struggle with emotions he is not stupid, he has Aspergers only! He understands finance and where is income lies. What matters is your emotions. So kick him out. You are not his carer. Link to comment
ninjabib Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 Yep, he needs to move out if hes not paying half or if he is give him 1 months notice or somrething. Link to comment
EclipseCross Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 What the hell? I don't care that he is younger, it's just disrespectful to continue live in your home and date someone else. It's not your problem that he can't afford to move out, kick him out of your home! Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 You're allowing him to run the show under your dime. With that said, if he can choose to date someone else while living with you, he's capable of choosing where he can live that lifestyle. I'd also tell him you were born at night but it wasn't last night, followed by showing him the door. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 Not really and no it's in my name. Because of aspergers bit of a loner. Think that's why I found him so addictive. He only wanted to be with me . Try and heal yourself first before making any moves. Right now you're paralyzed in pain. I get that feeling. Cry all you need to cry but you really ought to have a pep talk with yourself and start thinking about ways to straighten out this mess. You're overly sympathetic to his aspergers and he's taking advantage of you (with or without whatever special circumstances he's in). If you need to discuss alternate options with him, start doing so. Both of you have to come to some adult/mature agreement as living together and dating others is not ideal. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 I'd tell him that I'm not running a flop house. He can afford to date, so he can afford to find another place to live. I'd give him a week to find a room to rent and be out of here, or he'll find the locks have been changed and he'll need a police escort to retrieve his stuff. Link to comment
C2459 Posted May 10, 2019 Author Share Posted May 10, 2019 Thank you for those wise words. Yes the pain is overwhelming and I know I have to sort this mess out. I seem unable to rationalise what I need to do. Today I feel a bit more together so that's at least something. Love is a funny thing. Can give you the best days of your life but also the worst Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Give him 30 days notice. You're not his mom. I've been relegated to friend.the trouble is he cant afford to move out so I have to watch him go off under my nose. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Give him 30 days notice. You're not his mom. Naah, 30 days would be reasonable for a reasonable 'tenant'. You don't owe someone who rubs your nose in their disloyalty 30 days of torture for YOU. He played this stupidly by breaking up before he was prepared to walk away, so he can go couch surf or use his 'date' money on a boarding room or hotel or storage cube or whatever--but that's his problem. He had the 30 days before HE broke up to sort out where he plans to go. Link to comment
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