itsallgrand Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 It sounds though that this person would respond that you could eat alone together. Lol. Yeah this lady sounds brutal. Good luck OP. You got some good advice. I feel for you though. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 What do other think of her annoying ways? Link to comment
jimthzz Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 What do other think of her annoying ways? It reminds me of that movie, "Single White Female." Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 It reminds me of that movie, "Single White Female." Yes. I was thinking stalker, too. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 Like others said..."thank you for asking, but no". If she persists, just repeat "I'm sorry, but no". Don't make excuses, just a simple "no". Link to comment
catfeeder Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I'd start mentioning that I have my own errands to tend to this lunch break, and maybe another time. Boom! Done. Every day following that I don't want to share my lunch time, I'd simply declare it as errand time, and I'm too busy today. No apologies, no explanations--it's my errand time, I'll see you when I get back. Nothing breaks an assumption like breaking an assumption. She may not 'like' it, but that's too-bad-so-sad. If you won't be assertive about declaring your time as your own, then you're allowing yourself to play doormat to someone who's not going to let you off the hook until YOU take yourself off of the thing. Head high, and let us know how it goes. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 There are also several excellent books on how to deal with this type of and other types of office pests and difficult people. Consider that if you want you rise up more professionally you will have to develop these skills. But you would feel better in all realms developing better people skills. Leaders are people who can understand, manage and deal with all sorts of people. Cowards and children run to tattle about their problems or simply continue to feel victimized. Needing to be liked and saying yes are not people skills. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 There are also several excellent books on how to deal with this type of and other types of office pests and difficult people. Consider that if you want you rise up more professionally you will have to develop these skills. But you would feel better in all realms developing better people skills. Leaders are people who can understand, manage and deal with all sorts of people. Cowards and children run to tattle about their problems or simply continue to feel victimized. Needing to be liked and saying yes are not people skills. Well said. You can think of it as helping the colleague to develop more resilience even while you adopt it for yourself. Conduct yourself as a person who values your privacy, and you won't feel a need to 'splain your whereabouts before or after taking your lunch time as you so desire. Another's assumptions do not automatically translate into a problem for you. They do NOT impose any 'need' for you to address them as you turn down an invitation in favor of running off to 'do errands' in peace. Nobody has a right to ask what those errands may be, and viewing some peaceful time spent alone as your errand is perfectly valid. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Also maybe do a search on askamanager.com. I thought of this when Wiseman suggested books -great suggestion. Link to comment
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