Dating a millionaire

[katrina1980]

OP said in her first post that she got drunk and while drunk, she repeatedly told him she would see him after time with her friends.

 

It was after she sobered up when she decided she "didn't feel like it." Her exact words.

 

That's COLD.

 

OP, do you even like this guy?

 

If he wasn't a millionaire, would you even be bothered by this?

 

That's what I'm sensing, I mean no woman who is really into a man, after promising all night to see him, suddenly decides she "doesn't feel like it" after sobering up.

 

As for him, I hope this thread doesn't become another trash fest about the guy like another thread running now.

 

He's not an a-hole for respecting himself and not tolerating bs --> being coldly blown off last minute and not wanting anything to do with her.

 

This early in, I wouldn't either.

[Batya33]

OP said in her first post that she got drunk and while drunk, she repeatedly told him she would see him after time with her friends.

 

It was after she sobered up when she decided she "didn't feel like it." Her exact words.

 

That's COLD.

 

OP, do you even like this guy?

 

If he wasn't a millionaire, would you even be bothered by this?

 

That's what I'm sensing, I mean no woman who is really into a man, after promising all night to see him, suddenly decides she "doesn't feel like it" after sobering up.

 

As for him, I hope this thread doesn't become another trash fest about the guy like another thread running now.

 

He's not an a-hole for respecting himself and not tolerating bs --> being coldly blown off last minute and not wanting anything to do with her.

 

This early in, I wouldn't either.

 

Yes, I just had this sense that she was describing how into her he was and how she was special/different from the others who'd basically messed him around. But on her end I saw her delight at being fawned over, her interest in him given his wealth, and then her disappointment once she realized he wasn't going to play that game. Also it sounded like she resisted his pursuit at first. So in all she's not "that" into him. Also I don't know about all of you but when I was into a guy and he wanted to take me out on a date I cleared my calendar for hours earlier so that I could get ready, look my best/feel my best. I wouldn't have overscheduled myself and if I did have a previous earlier plan I wouldn't have risked my sobriety or health (meaning by overeating or whatever).

[maew]

Is this something to even get extremely mad about to cut me off forever?

 

Getting drunk and ditching me at the last minute would absolutely be a deal breaker for me. Mind you I wouldn't even have bothered to wait up for you if it were me... would have just made plans for another day.

 

To answer your other question... if you do double text him and he does decide to see you again he would be unlikely to see you as serious relationship material after this.

[MebbieU]

Well honestly I had a reason I ditched him last minute. And it’s quiet embarrassing to say... but he wanted to have like fantasy sex somewhere public while I was down to do it “aka when I was drunk” and then I sobered up I thought about it and when I said I was 10 mins away I then replied I wasn’t comfortable doing it anymore and that’s when he got mad for wasting his time and keeping him up.

As for being a student... I wasn’t his student I was recommended by a friend of mine to attend this seminar for a woman empowerment kind of thing he was building from his protege and I didn’t join because well I figured out it was just a pyramid thing. He no longer had affiliations with that group anymore and then reached out to me. He remembered me and admired how smart I was and how outspoken I was during that meeting. Hell he even thought I was trying to manipulate him at a time because of that mutual friend who recommended me to atttend. But later he knew, I had nothing to deal with that and opened up to me even more. I honestly think he will be back because I showed him things no one has before. I only messed up once and I grew feelings for him because of how he treated me and his mind. Not for money. I have my own money and he knew that and that’s what attracted him to me as well. He tells me all the time I was this perfect match for him because of the qualities I do have. Sure he’s wealthy. But we’ve talked about investing together and building together.

 

Idk... only time will tell. I kind of seen this coming, so I’m just going to move on because I knew I was the one who messed this up and well, he’s a man who has no time for this type of BS.

 

Thank you for your outputs.

[reinventmyself]

Well honestly I had a reason I ditched him last minute. And it’s quiet embarrassing to say... but he wanted to have like fantasy sex somewhere public while I was down to do it “aka when I was drunk” and then I sobered up I thought about it and when I said I was 10 mins away I then replied I wasn’t comfortable doing it anymore and that’s when he got mad for wasting his time and keeping him up.

 

You seem rather naive here.

 

I can't help but wonder if this guy wasn't building you up because you seem up to the whole fantasy sex thing? When you backed down, (as you probably should have) he discarded you.

That explains why he waited up for you until 3 am.

I think there is a valuable lesson here you might be missing.

 

What are your age differences?

[MebbieU]

You seem rather naive here.

 

I can't help but wonder if this guy wasn't building you up because you seem up to the whole fantasy sex thing? When you backed down, (as you probably should have) he discarded you.

That explains why he waited up for you until 3 am.

I think there is a valuable lesson here you might be missing.

 

What are your age differences?[/

 

 

Well that’s why I said no last minute. I thought about it and I’m not some animal so I said no last minute and thought screw it if he gets mad over this then idc. Then here I am caring.

 

We’re both in our early 20’s

Three year difference

Again, as I’m processing this whole thing I’m getting over it and glad I didn’t come through.

[Batya33]

OK that is different. You didn't stand him up for a date - he did not want a date with you. He wanted to have sex with you and in a self absorbed way -for his own fantasy. Yes, in a perfect world you could have said no right away and I can relate to not knowing what to do and backing out at the last minute. Your post made it seem like he was interested in dating you and getting to know you as a person. He wasn't.

[maew]

Well honestly I had a reason I ditched him last minute. And it’s quiet embarrassing to say... but he wanted to have like fantasy sex somewhere public while I was down to do it “aka when I was drunk” and then I sobered up I thought about it and when I said I was 10 mins away I then replied I wasn’t comfortable doing it anymore and that’s when he got mad for wasting his time and keeping him up.

As for being a student... I wasn’t his student I was recommended by a friend of mine to attend this seminar for a woman empowerment kind of thing he was building from his protege and I didn’t join because well I figured out it was just a pyramid thing. He no longer had affiliations with that group anymore and then reached out to me. He remembered me and admired how smart I was and how outspoken I was during that meeting. Hell he even thought I was trying to manipulate him at a time because of that mutual friend who recommended me to atttend. But later he knew, I had nothing to deal with that and opened up to me even more. I honestly think he will be back because I showed him things no one has before. I only messed up once and I grew feelings for him because of how he treated me and his mind. Not for money. I have my own money and he knew that and that’s what attracted him to me as well. He tells me all the time I was this perfect match for him because of the qualities I do have. Sure he’s wealthy. But we’ve talked about investing together and building together.

 

Idk... only time will tell. I kind of seen this coming, so I’m just going to move on because I knew I was the one who messed this up and well, he’s a man who has no time for this type of BS.

 

Thank you for your outputs.

 

Well reading this it seems like he had been grooming you all along to participate in extreme sexual fantasies with him... which is all well and good if that's what you are into... but if not, no wonder you changed your mind when you sobered up.

 

Note to yourself OP... if you wouldn't do it sober, don't agree to it under the influence. That's a good way to get yourself in trouble down the road.

[MebbieU]

OK that is different. You didn't stand him up for a date - he did not want a date with you. He wanted to have sex with you and in a self absorbed way -for his own fantasy. Yes, in a perfect world you could have said no right away and I can relate to not knowing what to do and backing out at the last minute. Your post made it seem like he was interested in dating you and getting to know you as a person. He wasn't.

 

 

No he was... we didn’t start talking being intimate until later and then talked about being more open in our sex life

[MebbieU]

Well reading this it seems like he had been grooming you all along to participate in extreme sexual fantasies with him... which is all well and good if that's what you are into... but if not, no wonder you changed your mind when you sobered up.

 

Note to yourself OP... if you wouldn't do it sober, don't agree to it under the influence. That's a good way to get yourself in trouble down the road.

 

Thanks! I’m actually glad I didn’t do it. And well, now I don’t feel as bad for ditching him because of you all

[nutbrownhare]

If you'd mentioned his plans for you in the original post, my advice would have been totally different...!

 

So I'll revise it to... you kept telling him you were on your way, he waited up until 3.00am, and then you cancelled on him. He is very annoyed about it, and hasn't contacted you again. Thank **** for that!

 

You have just dodged a bullet, and please - for your own safety! - don't try and get in touch with him again.

[Batya33]

No he was... we didn’t start talking being intimate until later and then talked about being more open in our sex life

 

I respectfully disagree. If someone you just met wanted to meet for that purpose he never was interested in getting to know you as a person or any serious potential as far as dating. I'm sorry and you dodged a bullet. I find it odd that you didn't share in your first post that he wanted to meet up to have sex in public - you gave the very clear impression he wanted to meet you to take you out on a proper date.

[MebbieU]

I respectfully disagree. If someone you just met wanted to meet for that purpose he never was interested in getting to know you as a person or any serious potential as far as dating. I'm sorry and you dodged a bullet. I find it odd that you didn't share in your first post that he wanted to meet up to have sex in public - you gave the very clear impression he wanted to meet you to take you out on a proper date.

 

 

Maybe you’re right but we did have plenty of “proper dates” before we even discuss being open in our sex life together. We were with each other literally everyday for the past 3 months. Met his students, his brothers, his friends...almost met the parents this weekend and I didn’t mention the public sex because well. It’s quiet embarrassing

I’m still young. Still figuring out what’s real and what not.

[Capricorn3]

A millionaire in his early twenties ... what kind of job does he do?

 

Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

 

(Side note: it would help a lot if you include the full story in the future so as to avoid so much confusion).

[MebbieU]

Stock trader. Marketing consulting. E-commerce. Things like that

[thisisrichey]

i think a few things are going on here:

1. if he IS a millionare (i will just trust you if you say so. but most millionares really don't go out and advertise that....), he is used to gettin ghis way no questions asked and you violated that by refusing him last minute.

 

2. he just got done telling you people "use" and "play" him and then your last planned night together - you acted as if you were using and playing him too and it triggered him. "yo usaid you'd come, then backed out last minute".... so that's definitely going on in his head (whether you feel like you are playing or using him or not....)

 

so that's what' HE sees.

your latest post lets me know what REALLY happened with you and i see where YOU are coming from.

 

now the question is what do ou want to do about it? reconciliation and successful relationships don't happen with a lot of "me" "this is what i think" and making the other person out to be the bad person. it comes from seeing THEIR SIDE (which you now know) and deciding what to do about it and how to find a middle. That is.. if you want to continue and make this successful. If you don't, nobody will blame you - dating a millionare (who is used to having their way and buy anything they want) is not the piece of cake people would think.

 

Good luck.

[Batya33]

OK from what you wrote it sounded like he chased you for a long time and you recently agreed to go on a date with him. Seems to me your story keeps changing or maybe you just weren't clear so it's hard for me to give more input. Something doesn't sit right with me with how you described what happened.

[MebbieU]

i think a few things are going on here:

1. if he IS a millionare (i will just trust you if you say so. but most millionares really don't go out and advertise that....), he is used to gettin ghis way no questions asked and you violated that by refusing him last minute.

 

2. he just got done telling you people "use" and "play" him and then your last planned night together - you acted as if you were using and playing him too and it triggered him. "yo usaid you'd come, then backed out last minute".... so that's definitely going on in his head (whether you feel like you are playing or using him or not....)

 

so that's what' HE sees.

your latest post lets me know what REALLY happened with you and i see where YOU are coming from.

 

now the question is what do ou want to do about it? reconciliation and successful relationships don't happen with a lot of "me" "this is what i think" and making the other person out to be the bad person. it comes from seeing THEIR SIDE (which you now know) and deciding what to do about it and how to find a middle. That is.. if you want to continue and make this successful. If you don't, nobody will blame you - dating a millionare (who is used to having their way and buy anything they want) is not the piece of cake people would think.

 

Good luck.

 

This was a very honest comment and I appreciate that. Sure, I would want to start again.. but I don’t think there’s much I can do. I already texted him saying I was sorry and I missed him. and etc. I did that to try and prove someone can care for him.. despite his ways and his past of abandonment.

overall, I don’t think I did something too bad. It was one mess up comparing to all the good times we shared. I do agree, he’s so used to getting things his way and For once someone that wasn’t going to follow his every wants when he wants comes along and his only way to solve it is blocking me.

Maybe I’m being “self entitled” but I think he’ll come around again. I won’t be waiting on it but I know that he will because of the relationship we had prior to this.

[MebbieU]

OK from what you wrote it sounded like he chased you for a long time and you recently agreed to go on a date with him. Seems to me your story keeps changing or maybe you just weren't clear so it's hard for me to give more input. Something doesn't sit right with me with how you described what happened.

 

How does it keep changing? I’m just elaborating more... yeah he did chase me for two months prior to our first date then I canceled and we scheduled for another date the next day. Ever since then we were together all the time. We went out to bars together and I met people who he does business with. Friends. Family. Etc.

Then recently valentine hits and this whole weekend was what I mentioned from this post. It’s not a whole time line of us, just pieces of the beginning middle and end

[thisisrichey]

what you need to realize is... it is NOT important how you felt you did and how you assess how bad/good what you did was. you are not the person who has had to deal with this al lhis life. HE IS.

Therefore, what is important here is how bad it felt and triggered HIM and thus what HE is thinking and is thinking of doing about this.

 

do you understand?

 

It counts ZERO if i think my "black joke" is racist and how bad i think that joke is. It matters more how a black person TAKES that joke and if THEY were offended by it. Get it? If yo'ure main goal here is a relationship with HIM, and HE got hurt - then it doesn't matter what YOU thought about what you did - it matters what HE thought becuse HE may end it because of what you did... understand?

[MebbieU]

what you need to realize is... it is NOT important how you felt you did and how you assess how bad/good what you did was. you are not the person who has had to deal with this al lhis life. HE IS.

Therefore, what is important here is how bad it felt and triggered HIM and thus what HE is thinking and is thinking of doing about this.

 

do you understand?

 

It counts ZERO if i think my "black joke" is racist and how bad i think that joke is. It matters more how a black person TAKES that joke and if THEY were offended by it. Get it? If yo'ure main goal here is a relationship with HIM, and HE got hurt - then it doesn't matter what YOU thought about what you did - it matters what HE thought becuse HE may end it because of what you did... understand?

 

Yeah I understand that part. But as I mentioned there’s not much I could do about it now.

I apologized, And that’s that. It’s up to him if he wants to continue this relationship. Will I wait around? No. But what can I do! Life still goes on.

[Batya33]

How does it keep changing? I’m just elaborating more... yeah he did chase me for two months prior to our first date then I canceled and we scheduled for another date the next day. Ever since then we were together all the time. We went out to bars together and I met people who he does business with. Friends. Family. Etc.

Then recently valentine hits and this whole weekend was what I mentioned from this post. It’s not a whole time line of us, just pieces of the beginning middle and end

 

OK. To me three months is not a brand new relationship - it's getting into more serious territory. So in the three months you dated all that time he told you you were special and different from everyone else and after three months of consistent dating he then asks you to have public sex with him, you say yes but then change your mind the last minute? Or do you mean he chased you for 2 months and your first date was a month or less ago? Yes it makes a difference.

[MebbieU]

OK. To me three months is not a brand new relationship - it's getting into more serious territory. So in the three months you dated all that time he told you you were special and different from everyone else and after three months of consistent dating he then asks you to have public sex with him, you say yes but then change your mind the last minute? Or do you mean he chased you for 2 months and your first date was a month or less ago? Yes it makes a difference.

 

Sorry, so during October is when we met. And he was chasing me during Oct-Nov18’.. starting dating in December up until this past weekend. After finally opening up, he expressed his feelings this month of February and then He recently asked for public sex valentines weekend.

[reinventmyself]

Sorry, so during October is when we met. And he was chasing me during Oct-Nov18’.. starting dating in December up until this past weekend. After finally opening up, he expressed his feelings this month of February and then He recently asked for public sex valentines weekend.

 

Did i miss something?

Have you had sex with him before or was this the first time?

 

Public sex Valentines? Was that your gift?

I got a watch.

[Batya33]

Sorry, so during October is when we met. And he was chasing me during Oct-Nov18’.. starting dating in December up until this past weekend. After finally opening up, he expressed his feelings this month of February and then He recently asked for public sex valentines weekend.

 

OK so you've been dating two months and he expressed serious feelings for you recently. Then right after asked for public sex this weekend for Valentines Day. So basically he is now showing you his true colors and I agree that there were red flags with his sharing about wanting revenge and how no one understands him,etc. Big deal he's a millionaire - who is he as a person? Is he generous, thoughtful, kind? Does he contribute to his community?