Is it over?

[boltnrun]

No no.. We didn't date 2 months.... We met 2 months ago.. The dates happened in August.. I referred to the 2 months to point that its not someone I knew from before. The dates had 1 day difference between them

 

OK...but that doesn't answer my question.

 

Why are you so overly attached to someone you barely know? I get that you feel there was a "connection", but he seems to have checked out.

[Jeannette80]

Well usually I move on.. But maybe I feel in this case that I made a mistake and didn't handle the situation very well and I ended up losing a guy that I didn't want to lose..

[Jeannette80]

You know this kind of feeling of "I wish I could turn back time"

[boltnrun]

Well usually I move on.. But maybe I feel in this case that I made a mistake and didn't handle the situation very well and I ended up losing a guy that I didn't want to lose..

 

Well, sometimes people make mistakes. And we just accept the consequences and move on.

 

Turning back time isn't possible, right? So, why keep obsessing over something that can't happen?

 

Obsessing over "fixing" it will keep you stuck exactly where you are. Tell me, is all this obsessing making you happy or feel at peace? Or is it causing you stress and anxiety?

 

I tend to move away from stress and anxiety because it isn't good for me and isn't fun.

 

Sometimes, we just have to walk away.

[MissCanuck]

Well usually I move on.. But maybe I feel in this case that I made a mistake and didn't handle the situation very well and I ended up losing a guy that I didn't want to lose..

 

OP, we have suggested ways of trying to make amends with him, if you're so inclined.

 

But you keep talking yourself out of it. You appear to have no idea what you want.

[Jeannette80]

I know you are right.. There nothing I can do now.. Go back in time? No.. Call? Well.. He doesn't seem interested.. So yes, I know I have to accept things as they are. And believe me I will accept it.. Already feeling better than yesterday and I guess time will tell..

I need to take the lesson out of it.. And move on.

[Jeannette80]

Haha.. Yes I appear not to know what I want because I'm afraid. I want to reach to him. I've said that from the beginning. But I don't want to seem desperate. And I fear his rejection..

Of course I would like to hear suggestions..

[MissCanuck]

Haha.. Yes I appear not to know what I want because I'm afraid. I want to reach to him. I've said that from the beginning. But I don't want to seem desperate. And I fear his rejection..

Of course I would like to hear suggestions..

 

They're in this thread.

 

I think you are going to need to just let it go, though. Too much time has passed now.

[Jeannette80]

The time passed yes. The only thing that might do and not seem too weird is send a "hello, how are you" after days weeks.. Not to fix things.. But to rebuild a communication and see what happens. After all nothing bad happened.. We didn't have a fight..

[milly007]

Jeannette, just do it. Text him and get it over with. You’ll have your answer, whether or not he responds.

 

Prepare yourself for the very good possibility that he may not respond.

 

Doesn’t seem you will let the situation go, and that you want to make contact.

 

You really have nothing to lose at this point.

 

Just prepare for the possibility that he may not respond, or he may just give a brief response (feed you breadcrumbs).

 

Either way, I’d just make a decision sooner than later - walk away or message.

 

Otherwise, you’re going to drive yourself bonkers with the indecisiveness and over-thinking.

[Jeannette80]

Well don't know him that well. But he seemed a nice guy. Really I think I should leave this thing as it is.. No point in chasing anyone.

[Honeycomb8]

A week of dating shouldn't result in a 12 page thread. Like .

 

 

Txt him if you want. Maybe then the obsessing will stop.

[Capricorn3]

A week of dating shouldn't result in a 12 page thread. Like .

 

Txt him if you want. Maybe then the obsessing will stop.

I was thinking the same thing. Way too much overkill, agonising and wringing of the hands over nothing. Really. OP, like others have been saying, just text him already and be done with it. This obsessing is so over the top after only 4 dates. Seriously, time to move on.

[Jeannette80]

Yes.. Some of my friends encouraged me last night telling me to call him and see what happens.. Not to chase him.. Just call him.. See how he is doing.. And if the conversation allows it to talk about what happened. After all this is a guy that as I said we have mutual friends. It's possible to see him somewhere with company so it will be awkward.

The problem is that I feel embarrassed to call. After all he didn't reply to my previous text and it felt like he was ignoring me. So I feel that a few days might pass, maybe I will feel more confident and call. Not to beg, chase or anything..

[MissCanuck]

You're your own worst enemy now, OP.

 

The longer you put this off, the longer you're going to sit and stew and ultimately close any door that might have still been open. You have to learn how to stop standing in your own way.

[Wiseman2]

What if it goes to VM?

Just call him.. See how he is doing.. And if the conversation allows it to talk about what happened.

 

he didn't reply to my previous text and it felt like he was ignoring me.

 

Not to beg, chase or anything..

[Jeannette80]

Wiseman2 you are so negative.. Haha

[milly007]

FWIW, I wouldn’t call texting this guy once more or calling him once more chasing.

[Jeannette80]

Yes.. Although some people told me to call him my feeling is that I shouldn't..

Whatever happened happened.. Calling and wanting explanations.. No no way..

On the other hand calling just to see how he is doing its too early for that..

I do feel that we will talk eventually or see each other again. I mean we have mutual friends we go to the same places..

But calling and trying to fix things it's too late now.

The ship has sailed.

Let's face it. If he wanted he would try to fix things too..

It just surprises me.. He said he would do anything to fix his mistake and seemed so into me.. Well, I suppose he wasn't that interested in the first place.. Or he didn't bother to try afterwards.. Lost interest

[Jeannette80]

Why do you say that I like game playing? . I'm not annoyed or anything. I sincerely ask why you made this assumption

[figureitout23]

You are something. You’re more interesting in game playing than anything. It’s funny how females write in their profiles that they hate game playing when they actually love game playing.

 

Oh for petes sake don't start with the trolling.

 

Want to be successful in online dating? Don't be ugly!

[Jeannette80]

Who are you referring to?

[Jeannette80]

It's not game playing. I feel it's too late now. It's been 10 days! And I also fear his reaction. It's not that I'm expecting him to call or text and then I will punish him or show him who has a upper hand. I wanted to call and solve the problem. But I'm scared as hell..

[Jeannette80]

Men have ego issues too..

[figureitout23]

Men have ego issues too..

 

Hon, he's a troll, please don't take anything he's saying seriously.