I’ve been corrupted

[live4hope]

I started dating my girlfriend about 6 months ago and I’ve been loyal to her since the start. She has past experiences with other guys that lead her on and broke her heart etc.. During our first month she was still texting and seeing other guys but I forgave her because I knew she wasn’t use to a guy like me. Well that was my big mistake. I’ve been providing for her in terms of food, nails, hair and even rides to work. But she still sneaks around on me. She told me she could be pregnant and i didn’t know what to do, but I was ready to step up( with us being in our late teens it was bad timing for a child but when you have unprotected sex you have to take responsibility) weeks go by and we found out she wasn’t pregnant! I felt relieved and somewhat sad because I thought this would really make her loyal and grow up. Well a week after the pregnancy scare was over I saw her texting a guy ( her ex) saying she wasn’t pregnant and they can’t keep ing unprotected and stuff like that........ It broke my ing heart!! If it was soo easy to just stop loving her I would’ve been done it but once I get attached to someone it’s hard for me to let go. I thought about cheating on her but it’s not in my character. Ever since then I can’t trust anything she tells me, even when she says she was sleep she could be cheating on me. I hate feeling like I’m being lied to everyday. She argues about anything and everything. Most recently around July 1st, we broke up because she told me she needed time to change, as in she wanted to grow so she can help us become stronger. She said she wasn’t going to talk to any other guys or anything like that. It’s hard for me to believe because even when we were together she was having sex with other guys. Well yesterday July 23rd she left her phone out and I checked it and she’s been ing her ex from mid June till July the 17th!!!! And he comes other her house more than I ever did! Her father knows him but doesn’t know me. I’m soo tired of being seen as a joke by her and I want this all to end.

 

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO! Saying” just leave her “ is no help because if it was that easy I would’ve been done it. Please any advice would help.

[Wiseman2]

She using and manipulating you and you realize this on some level but don't want to let go. Talk to a trusted adult about all this.

[19Nick87]

Well leave her is the best advice I can give, you know its not working and your making yourself sick trying. Its not worth it. I went through a very similar situation, except it also included drugs.

 

You can either keep driving yourself insane and keep hoping it will work but it wont and I think deep down inside youalready know it, or you can walk away and heal/move forward with your life. Yes its going to hurt, your going to be numb and your going to struggle allot. As time goes in though you will be better for it.

 

The best thing I have learned on this forum is to go No Contact. Just walk away, no phone calls, no texts, no scocial media, etc. Dont be afraid to seek the help of a counselor if you need it. Give yourself time to heal, work on yourself and do things you enjoy. In time you will meet sombody that will be able to treat you the same way you treat them.

 

Dont stoop to her level, do what you know is right, be strong and know it does get better.

[yatsue]

You could have an open relationship if you don't plan on leaving her, preferably a casual one. She'll never commit to you and will keep seeing others. So don't commit to her and keep seeing her. It is only fair to both be open about this, including those you date, given she won't commit for real. Perhaps you'll find someone better and will forget about such a cruel partner, or will realize there is better for you out there.

 

Normally I would say go no contact and speak to someone who could help you cope, as I find cheating an instant deal breaker personally, but you obviously don't want that. That route is better for you overall, although if you refuse this option then the decision will leave you with a bleak outcome. So I'd like to give advice you would actually use instead. Keep in mind, you are stubbornly taking a much harder route for yourself. The easiest way to get over her is to cut contact. You will experience more heartache this way, even though both options are hard.

 

Just know, if you have feelings and are monogamous at heart, then it seems you'll wait out until the day you've had enough. Maybe it's when she gets pregnant by a different guy, or decides to leave you herself and you'll be forced to end with her. Please at least stop paying things for her, and use protection every time! You cannot buy her love and it won't make you better in her eyes. Treat this like dating. Demote her from being your girlfriend to someone you date instead. Date multiple people. A baby will not fix this, it always makes it worse. Please trust me on this. STD's are possible too, so protect yourself. Get checked regularly. This is riskier sexual behavior.

 

You could also better yourself. Go to the gym regularly, or more. Go out more, join clubs, sports, volunteer work, get a hair cut, a fashionable style, etc. Put yourself out there. Stop making this girl your priority and make you a priority. You deserve more. You just need to develop your self esteem more, so please take steps to improve this. Go to therapy, if you can. You need support. You need to instill the desire to want better for yourself.

[LightWave93]

"Just leave her" is the best, most honest and most concise advice you can receive, because really you have only two options; walk away, or continue to be a living doormat with no self-respect and certainly no respect from his partner as she continues to suck and feck guys behind your back.

 

Personally, I know what option I'd go for.

 

Sometimes the thing we need to do is the one thing we don't want to hear, but we need to hear it. In this case, you need to leave this emotionally manipulative, lying cheat of a woman before she destroys your self-esteem and confidence, and damages you to a point where it will take a long time before you can ever receive honest, genuine love from the right woman.

 

I hope you chose to leave her, buddy. We're here for you.

[moodindigo91]

Saying” just leave her “ is no help because if it was that easy I would’ve been done it. Please any advice would help.

 

When people end their posts with this, you know they are in denial. Obviously leaving a relationship is not easy, it's never easy for anyone. No one here believes it would be easy, and the fact is that it will be hard.

 

You just need to ask yourself what is harder: being in a relationship with someone who treats you literally like trash, has no regard for your feelings, your love, your health (I mean, she's having unprotected sex with other men, she does not care about your well being), etc... or leaving this horrible relationship and freeing yourself of the misery you currently endure while simultaneously opening yourself up to meet better women who would treat you kindly????

 

You have to make that choice.

[mack1490]

Bro, I'm sorry, but you gotta tell this girl to kick rocks. I'm just going to be straight with you. It sounds to me that you're doing your part as a man by being loyal to this girl, and all she's doing is messing around behind your back. It'll be tough, but you have to do it. It's only hurting you in the end when you stay with this girl.

[boltnrun]

Doesn't knowing that you might go into her right after some other guy just finished gross you out???

[Bowandhat]

She told me she could be pregnant and i didn’t know what to do, but I was ready to step up( with us being in our late teens it was bad timing for a child but when you have unprotected sex you have to take responsibility) weeks go by and we found out she wasn’t pregnant! I felt relieved and somewhat sad because I thought this would really make her loyal and grow up.

What the heck you wanted her to be pregnant so she will be loyal?! Just because someone has a baby doesn't mean they will be loyal. You were or are way to young to be having children. You weren't even taking care of yourself at the age. And wear a condom before you get an STD or a baby.

 

Just leave her. From everything I read she doesn't value you what so ever. By the way she acts I can only assume she doesn't want a boyfriend.

[MissCanuck]

Having a baby does not make some loyal and mature, OP. She is a long, long way from being the girl you hoped for.

 

You don't want to leave her, but what choice do you have? She doesn't want to be with you. You can't make a relationship happen when one person doesn't want it and never respected you to begin with.

 

Instead, you desperately need to work on your self-respect. No guy with much self-esteem would stick around with a girl like this. You need to get to the bottom of why you don't think you deserve better than this.

 

Also, please get yourself to a doctor for a STI/HIV test. You have no clue what she could be exposing you to, and many infections show few or no symptoms for months. You need to be a lot smarter about your health, here.

[catfeeder]

I’ve been providing for her in terms of food, nails, hair and even rides to work.

 

Sorry, but this is ridiculous. When you try to be someone's savior, you'll set yourself up as a fool.