Idontevenkno Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 When I joined this forum there seemed to be a lot of different posters, and now they're gone which leads me to believe they're probably feeling better. I read somewhere that for most people breakups get easier around 11 weeks. I also read that men take break ups harder and often mourn for longer. These are 2 completely random facts I've pulled of the internet and there may be some or no truth in them. The fact that a lot of these posters that were around at the beginning of my break up gives me hope that perhaps I won't be on here forever! So I'd just like to know : How long have you been broken up How long were you together If you are male or female How long no contact How you feel in general out of 10, 1 being terrible not coping and 10 being over it Link to comment
Idontevenkno Posted May 27, 2018 Author Share Posted May 27, 2018 Me Together 3 years 5 weeks broken up Female No contact 2 weeks Probably about a 3 Link to comment
TeddyPSmith Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 Together 2 years 4 months broken up Male 100 days NC 3/10 - I had one week where it let up but its come back with a vengeance this weekend. I am so tempted to send her a letter Link to comment
Long Gone Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 Ok I'll give this a go. Nearly exactly 5 months since she finished it Together 2.5 months Male Just under 5 months NC I'd say I'm a 5/6 Somewhat embarrassed that I'm not fully over her when it was a short relationship, but it was a big leap for me having not dated for 12 years. Still needing time to heal. Link to comment
Hopeful7 Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 Together 3 1/2 years Broken up will be 6 months in June female N/C 2 months I have gone from 1/10 in the first few months to 6/10 . But the last couple of days I would say 4/10. Link to comment
Cogs74 Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 Together a little over 1 year Broken up 104 days (she broke it off) NC 67 days Male, 44 Feeling about a 2.5 Link to comment
Rhombus Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 Nearly 2 months Just shy of 5 years Male 4 days(complicated as we're selling our flat) 4 Link to comment
CubbyBear Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 I went through the worst breakup of my life 5 years ago. It’s when I joined these forums. It took me about a year to get over it but I did. She is married now and when I see pictures of her I could care less. This latest breakup as of 3 weeks ago is different story. Still miss her like crazy and miserable. But it does get better with time Link to comment
TeddyPSmith Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 This is a great thread by the way Link to comment
Kev0s1983 Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Like this post :) How long have you been broken up - Little over 4 months, How long were you together - 18 months, If you are male or female - Male, How long no contact - Since 5 days after BU, (not friends on social media but DID stalk few times in first 6 weeks, then dropped social media), How you feel in general out of 10, 1 being terrible not coping and 10 being over it - Prob around 7/8 right now. Link to comment
SGH Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 How long have you been broken up: About 5 months How long were you together: 2 years If you are male or female: Female How long no contact: 5 months How you feel in general out of 10, 1 being terrible not coping and 10 being over it: 8/10 I made much better choices after this breakup, which resulted in a quicker healing time than usual. I actually only joined in posting on the forum to help others find peace with their breakups. I only put an 8/10 instead of a 10/10 because every once in awhile it still hurts to think about my most recent ex not being a part of my life anymore, but I simply remind myself of all the reasons we are not together and the pain passes quickly. Link to comment
Snny Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 When I joined this forum there seemed to be a lot of different posters, and now they're gone which leads me to believe they're probably feeling better. I read somewhere that for most people breakups get easier around 11 weeks. I also read that men take break ups harder and often mourn for longer. These are 2 completely random facts I've pulled of the internet and there may be some or no truth in them. Be careful what you read online, and take anything presented as “fact” a grain of salt. The general idea you are seeking does not hold a strong correlation to accurately explain the result of rejection. Break ups and how people cope with them will vary by individual and circumstances. Some people are capable of emotionally processing and adapting to change quicker than others. Others may “play the field” by not dating seriously because they aren’t emotionally ready for commitment. Some may have cognitive deficiencies that could result in difficulty of self-regulation of emotions and coping strategies. Then there are also people who plan to dump/are being dumped and secretly have someone on the side to “rebound.” Again, everyone handles grief and attachment very differently and there is no “measuring stick” to determine how long overcoming rejection will last. For me, the longest it has taken to get over a person took over a year- and that was because there were mental heath factors, long-distance circumstances (military relationship/deployment during post 9/11), a pending marriage, and domestic violence involved. With a different person, it took me less than a week to move on since the break up was mutual from both my partner and I (we were just incompatible and the break up was a huge relief)- I also had more confidence and dating experience than the first mentioned. Honestly I wouldn’t over analyze this and just focus on your own personal growth. Comparing yourself to others may not help your cause. Link to comment
gustavklimt Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Been broken up 6 weeks and some odd days together 4.5 years female complete no contact since the conversation in which he dumped me. I removed him from all social media. He's reached out to my mother and close friends but not to me. I feel I'm at a 4, approaching a 5. It's MUCH easier now to concentrate on my life and focus on what I'm doing at the moment, but when I'm alone I still get pretty sad and sometimes still in disbelief that it's over. Those moments aren't nearly as intense though. I'm just so glad I can concentrate on work and the things I'm doing again. For a long time it felt like I would literally never not be thinking of him lol. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Broke up 10 wks ago NC for 8 Female Relationship was over 6 months ( But was for about a year, cpl yrs ago- this was round 2). How I feel? Still pretty rough.. miserable, miss him..still teary. So, maybe 4/10. Link to comment
Kimbles1215 Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 We have been broken up a good two and a bit months. 11 1/2 months Female Literally a day. We’ve had contact on and off for a good month and half. We’re both struggling super bad. Because we do love each other but it’s making us both turn toxic. I am coping around a 5. I think I fall too quickly for people who I have trust in to be that perfect boyfriend. I rarely fall in on love, quite unsure what it feels like anymore because I’ve had 4 toxic or bad relationships. Neither have worked out and my 2nd relationship I was absolutely heartbroken over it. He did it Christmas Day and I was head over heels. He was a good guy. Now this one. Definitely a 5. My coping mechanisms since that 2nd relationship has changed me as a person, as I was extremely depressed. Never thought I’d love again. I’ve turned more or less numb. I can switch my pain off easily but it bites me back because I become very weak after a few months. Hope this answered your question xx Link to comment
Duzie16 Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Together 6.5 years. Broken up 10 months. She ended it. 6.5 on 10 Her going back to her ex took a damn while to process Link to comment
11moreweeks Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 How long have you been broken up: 7 months. How long were you together: 8 years If you are male or female: Male How long no contact: 4.5 months* (I have read 3 texts of hers, and sent her a thank you response to a happy birthday text nearly 4 months ago) How you feel in general out of 10, 1 being terrible not coping and 10 being over it: 5/10 I really miss my ex, I still imagine reconciliation, I'm having doubts about staying no contact, and I cry regularly about it still; however, I think she is a terrible person, so it's a mixed bag. Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 3.5 years. Broke up more than 4 months ago. About 14* weeks NC (except for her sending me a happy birthday). Most days are 7+ out of 10 now - it has been like that from the 11 or 12 week mark. Still have unresolved feelings about her. Reading other posts here has made me confident that time will wash those away. Link to comment
Bigboss29 Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Together 7 years Married 3 years Separated 9 months Divorced 3 months Male No contact 2 weeks after the friends idea failed Out of 10 - Probably around 7 Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Broken up around 9 months Toether for 3 years Male No contact about 2 months Sometimes im a 10 sometimes im a 4 or 5. I go very up and down. I am a bit angry that I am not yet ober her but I will get there. Way better than I was at the start. Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Split up 7 and a half months ago Together for 3 years Male No contact from me in over 4 months (she sent me 2 messages last month which I didn't respond to) I am hovering between 7-8 most days. What she did still hurts, but I am happy with her not being in my life Link to comment
Buckley999 Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 How long have you been broken up: 7 weeks How long were you together: 5 months * If you are male or female: Male How long no contact: 26 days since her last email to me / 10 days since I sent her a birthday card (seemed mean not to) How you feel in general out of 10, 1 being terrible not coping and 10 being over it: 4 on a good day. * Seems like a short time, but it was very intense, we moved in together very quickly (too quickly maybe). I have been in long term relationships which have fallen apart slowly over years, and so the final break up didn't come as a surprise, maybe even as relief, and the after effects were manageable. This time it went from happy ever after to the end of the line very suddenly, and has left me devastated, and still in shock. Link to comment
Pelotte Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 We've been broken up for almost 3 months now, dated for 6 I am a female No contact for 2,5 months Probably around 7 or 8/10 now Link to comment
Guest Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Together nearly 7 years. Broke up 4 months ago. Female NC for 10 weeks, then he contacted me. I’d say I’d reached at least 7 / 10 by that point..... been hovering back down at a 4 most days since then. I made contact on Friday, got no response, was 1 or 2/10 for a couple of days. Had a great day out yesterday with my friend, back up to at least a 6 today! So from that I’d say: Your mood can very changeable from day to day, definitely don’t break NC and surround yourself with good friends if you can. Link to comment
ninjabib Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Together 5 years Broke up 2.5 months I am male NC on my part since the day we split up, she used to contact me regularly but can't anymore. Blocked her on all media. She turneds up at my house a few times. Bump into her every other week at least. Saw her last a week ago. Ignores my requests to not ask me to do things with her, this really annoys me. Most days im actually fine but one day a week on average i will really miss her. So 8/10 Link to comment
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