Mixed signals (or lack of signals) - need help with making sense

[thornz]

That is correct - except it's clear that we are more than simply "friends". We have been on several dates and we cuddle, kiss and hold hands. We have performed sexual acts... although we have not had full sex (if that makes sense)?

 

Sounds like you’re friends with benefits. If you want to make this more then you ought to discuss this with him like an adult, not confront him. He hasn’t done anything wrong.

[ClaireDeLune]

I don't know, I find it odd though. I mean that's a lousy excuse after seven months.

Are you okay with this?

 

I find this very odd too... could it be that he has sexual performance issues?

[ClaireDeLune]

Not to answer for her, lol but she said they do sexual things, no intercourse.

Maybe he ejaculates too quick with intercourse? Or loses his erection? Or only likes men? Seriously, I'd be going bananas lol

I knew a guy like this because he didn't want to risk unwanted pregnancy . His gf was always upset, it gave her self esteem issues :(

 

Bloody hell! It's giving me self-esteem issues too...I suppose I'll need to take the plunge and be direct about this.

[Hollyj]

He is either gay, ultra religious or considers you a friend.

 

Don't waste anymore time. next time, have the talk three months in. You cannot get that time back.

[Minikimini]

He said we should wait till we are more comfortable with each other.... gentleman or scared of intimacy?

 

Neither. He's not a gentleman---he's a scaredycat.

 

You've been together for 7 months---how much more time does he need to feel comfortable enough with you to have sex?

 

He's wasting your time and you are squandering your youth with him.

 

Knock him back to the friendzone and start looking for a grown man who knows his mind.

 

I had a therapist once tell me that by the age of 28, it should only take an emotionally healthy adult 2 months to ascertain whether or not the person they're with is someone they want to build a future with.

[Cope]

Oh ClaireDelune, how I can relate! You should check my last thread, I got some excellent advice on a similar situation.

It took me a month to open my mouth, but I did and it felt good! How did I do it? Well, after I posted here, I started thinking about all the advice and what I was scared of. I played those scenarios over and over in my head; not obsessively, as mine was a casual relationship, but anyways, I played them over and over and I realised there was nothing to be afraid about because what I was living with him at the moment was confusing me. So I waited for the right time, meaning I told myself that next time he mentions another girl or something, I'd just pop the question. I did, we talked and everything fell into place. In my case we broke up, but that was actually what I was expecting. Doesn't matter though, in your case, you might just take your relationship to the next level.

 

7 months is way too long to be living in doubts and assumptions. Specially without the sex.

[limichelle]

Hi OP,

 

I was with someone for six months who refused to have sex with me unless I lost weight. I know how damaging it is when the person you are with won't have sex with you. The guy I was with, was most likely using my weight as a cover up for him being gay or impotency issues!

 

I suggest you ask him if he sees a future with you since you've been together 7 months!

 

Lisa