Fiance left, her mom involved

[MissCanuck]

Royally effing up your credit over this would be incredibly foolish, OP.

 

You need to start making smarter choices in your life, man. Right across the board.

[Wiseman2]

Ok then risk having this on your credit report and in true abuser form, blame her for "ruining your credit" so you can play victim again.. Brilliant idea, just to spite her again the penny pinching which is why she left. Because of your obsession with money, material things, control, chronic arguing, etc. Also your wife simply left one day the way abused women leave, by just enlisting family and disappearing one day. You are the common denominator and the engineer of your own problems.

I am not making the first payment unless they reach out to me, shes not talking to me, I have no info for her, I sent her 1 email 4 weeks ago and she never responded.

[2005TAHOE]

Well -- so because you already have your car and apartment, your credit is not important to you? Just make the first payment and take the next 30 days to give her a chance to pay you. If the payment is due next week, you are really just going to let it blow in the wind? Ok --- then whatever ....good luck on getting the next place you rent after the one you are in. Defaulting on a landlord they take seriously

 

I have thought about this, I will make the first payment and the next one is up to her. Shes doing NC too and her name was on the lease too, im not just going to absorb $3200 and let her walk away free of it.

[2005TAHOE]

Ok then risk having this on your credit report and in true abuser form, blame her for "ruining your credit" so you can play victim again.. Brilliant idea, just to spite her again the penny pinching which is why she left. Because of your obsession with money, material things, control, chronic arguing, etc. Also your wife simply left one day the way abused women leave, by just enlisting family and disappearing one day. You are the common denominator and the engineer of your own problems.

 

Where did I say that I was "blaming" her for ruining my credit? I have no obsession with money, I took care of her but she is responsible for utilities, rent, food and gas as well.

[2005TAHOE]

Why would she block me on facebook and instagram even though I have been NC since march?

[boltnrun]

Why would she block me on facebook and instagram even though I have been NC since march?

 

Because she fully intends to move on and is implementing blocking for that purpose. Perhaps she suspects you've considered trying to reignite the relationship so she is trying to ensure you are not able to contact her.

 

What's the status of what you both owe the landlord? Has she paid her share? It would be nice to get that out of the way so it's not hanging over your head and keeping a link to her.

[MissCanuck]

Why would she block me on facebook and instagram even though I have been NC since march?

 

Perhaps she's started dating someone and doesn't want to hear from you when you see him on her social media.

[2005TAHOE]

I haven't even looked at it in weeks, just seems odd and petty to do that 1.5 months out with NC. She still has pictures of un on her instagram and our relationship status is still on her facebook timeline. We still owe the money, the first payment is due in a month and still no word from her side. I can make the first payment but I don't want to lose $500 if she don't make the second one. I really don't want to pay it all but I bet that she is expecting that. I could pay it then take her to small claims court, but how long will that take?

[2005TAHOE]

I haven't even looked at it in weeks, just seems odd and petty to do that 1.5 months out with NC. She still has pictures of un on her instagram and our relationship status is still on her facebook timeline. We still owe the money, the first payment is due in a month and still no word from her side. I can make the first payment but I don't want to lose $500 if she don't make the second one. I really don't want to pay it all but I bet that she is expecting that. I could pay it then take her to small claims court, but how long will that take?

[2005TAHOE]

Because she fully intends to move on and is implementing blocking for that purpose. Perhaps she suspects you've considered trying to reignite the relationship so she is trying to ensure you are not able to contact her.

 

What's the status of what you both owe the landlord? Has she paid her share? It would be nice to get that out of the way so it's not hanging over your head and keeping a link to her.

 

 

I haven't even looked at it in weeks, just seems odd and petty to do that 1.5 months out with NC. She still has pictures of un on her instagram and our relationship status is still on her facebook timeline. We still owe the money, the first payment is due in a month and still no word from her side. I can make the first payment but I don't want to lose $500 if she don't make the second one. I really don't want to pay it all but I bet that she is expecting that. I could pay it then take her to small claims court, but how long will that take?

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately you sound scorned and spiteful. Get a roommate. The onus is one you to do that. You have no case.

[2005TAHOE]

Unfortunately you sound scorned and spiteful. Get a roommate. The onus is one you to do that. You have no case.

 

I have no problem affording to live on my own. The fact is, she signed a legal document to say that she was responsible for the fee as well. Why should I have to pay it all back and let her off free?

[MissCanuck]

I have no problem affording to live on my own. The fact is, she signed a legal document to say that she was responsible for the fee as well. Why should I have to pay it all back and let her off free?

 

Why have you not contacted an attorney for advice, OP?

 

That's what you really need to be doing, so that you understand exactly what both your and her rights and obligations are here.

[Wiseman2]

Do you mean she signed the lease or specifically a document regarding early lease termination? After she ran away, you could have made yourself whole by getting a roommate or sublet tenant. You as well have responsibilities. You chose instead to move on your own accord after she fled from you. You can gyrate as much as you want to continue the abuse she ran from with frivolous lawsuits, locking her phone and other tactics that her mother already called you out on, etc. but why not just move on?

The fact is, she signed a legal document to say that she was responsible for the fee as well. Why should I have to pay it all back and let her off free?

[2005TAHOE]

Do you mean she signed the lease or specifically a document regarding early lease termination? After she ran away, you could have made yourself whole by getting a roommate or sublet tenant. You as well have responsibilities. You chose instead to move on your own accord after she fled from you. You can gyrate as much as you want to continue the abuse she ran from with frivolous lawsuits, locking her phone and other tactics that her mother already called you out on, etc. but why not just move on?

 

Yes, she signed the early termination of lease payment agreement too. We were planning on moving in may anyways, we turned our notice together and they already had new tenants lined up to move in, so I couldn't stay there after the notice was turned in. Her phone is out of the picture, its gone. What good is a signed legal document stating that we BOTH are responsible for the repayment if it has no value? That's what I am getting at, why should se be able to leave and ignore the debt?

[Wiseman2]

You need to let her know. Have you notified the landlord? She probably hasn't blocked him.

Yes, she signed the early termination of lease payment agreement too. We were planning on moving in may anyways, we turned our notice together and they already had new tenants lined up to move in, so I couldn't stay there after the notice was turned in.

[2005TAHOE]

You need to let her know. Have you notified the landlord? She probably hasn't blocked him.

I have and they say that they cant take partial payments and that it is a civil matter. All they care about is getting the first payment by the end of the month. I would have to sue her in the state that she is in which is 700 miles away for half of it if I end up paying it.

[boltnrun]

I owed a former apartment money. They also said they didn't accept partial payments. I sent partial payments anyway and they accepted them. If you send a partial payment and they accept it, it is a tacit agreement that partial payments are allowed. And yes, I looked into it and that is what I was told.

 

Since you have your ex's home address you can send her a certified letter (requiring a signed return receipt) stating your position regarding this matter.

[abitbroken]

I would make my partial payment EARLY vs making it late.

Or i would pay the whole first payment and send partials thereafter.

But don't send nothing.

 

Honestly, i would have the landlord send her a letter. She should arrange to send a check every month to the landlord -- not you because she has no guarantee that you will send it to the landlord and may not want you to know her exact wherabouts

[2005TAHOE]

Thing are starting to feel better 7 weeks of NC. I still look at her instagram but im getting better about not looking at it as much. She has posted a pic with a guy with a quote "days are better with this guy" it could be a cousin for all I know. I guess that she is looking for a reaction out of me, I dunno.

 

Also, her best friend called off her engagement back in January so I guess this got my ex to thinking about the single life, but guess who is back with their fiancé? Yea, her best friend that she shared all of our problems too. So, what does this make my ex think?

 

I know I don't need to worry about it, just looking for some insight to help me move on, that's what helps me.

[MissCanuck]

still look at her instagram but im getting better about not looking at it as much. She has posted a pic with a guy with a quote "days are better with this guy" it could be a cousin for all I know. I guess that she is looking for a reaction out of me, I dunno.

It's not likely that is the primary reason, OP. It is far more probable that she is dating him and posted it for his benefit and wasn't really thinking about you at all.

 

Also, her best friend called off her engagement back in January so I guess this got my ex to thinking about the single life, but guess who is back with their fiancé? Yea, her best friend that she shared all of our problems too. So, what does this make my ex think?

Probably nothing in relation to you, really.

 

You need to stop reaching and looking for signs that aren't there. You're driving yourself crazy for a woman who doesn't really give a zoom anymore.

[2005TAHOE]

It's not likely that is the primary reason, OP. It is far more probable that she is dating him and posted it for his benefit and wasn't really thinking about you at all.

 

 

Probably nothing in relation to you, really.

 

You need to stop reaching and looking for signs that aren't there. You're driving yourself crazy for a woman who doesn't really give a zoom anymore.

 

Then why unblock me on facebook and instagram?

[MissCanuck]

Then why unblock me on facebook and instagram?

 

Who knows?

 

You're looking for logical answers about a woman who is impulsive and not logical.

 

You're not going to wind up with her forever, in any case. You need to delete her so you can heal and not hang around waiting for her to notice you. Anyone who behaves this way isn't someone who is serious about you.