maew Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Hey all! My question is.. has anyone had any experience with dating someone that either did or didn't want kids and having that person change their mind one way or the other? Wanting kids is a deep biological need for many, and so is not wanting kids. I know some people that have changed their minds, and some that really wanted them and couldn't have them or decided not to because of the person they were with. Background: I was texting a guy I liked, we were getting along really well (for those following the saga yes we did finally go on a date and it was amazing). Chemistry all over the place. The week after our date, I noticed he had pulled away. Was not sending me messages, rarely responding to mine, etc. Totally different than the behavior before the date. So I decided to call him out, I said I noticed he had been distant all week, was he still interested in dating, or was something else going on? Normally I wouldn't bother following up, but we have lots of mutual friends and would see each other around so I felt it was best to get things out in the open. He said, essentially, that he wanted to have kids, that he should have told me right away but he really liked me and was hoping it was a fantasy that would just go away, but he wasn't ready to let go of the possibility at this point in his life, even though he understood it might not happen. I think he didn't realize how old I was (I am 46 but I look like I am in my 30's to most people) so once he found out (I told him randomly) he might have started thinking about it. It wouldn't be the first time this happened I am not sure. At any rate, I definitely don't want more biological children at this stage of the game. So I thought okay, he will move on, I will try to move on. And yet he is still contacting me, we are still flirting over text... so maybe he isn't sure of his decision. My instinct is to let go completely of this situation, and move on from him, because I don't want kids and I feel like if he does, it would be a dead end relationship, and I don't want to get my heart broken. But then I also wonder if I am being too harsh, and should just live for the moment, and even if this isn't a long term thing there is still some fun to be had. Link to comment
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