Responding to request for raincheck

[levie]

So I went out with this guy 2 dates - third date he invited me to his family event - where I met his parents and siblings. He wrote me afterwards a very thoughtful text saying that they enjoyed meeting me and how thoughtful I was. We went on 3 dates I met his family, he hasn't kissed me.

We haven't had a date since due to his sickness and work - he asked me for a raincheck for Valentines - saying he had to fly out of town and how lucky he was he met me and that he'll meet me after he comes back.

A week later I wrote him my news - work and moving - and he suggested a celebratory dinner that he comes back on Thursday - to which I replied (Thurs eve) that I was moving Saturday and would be free Sunday.

 

On Saturday evening (late) - he wrote me -asking how my move went and a very long apologetic text (two paragraph) saying that he had to drive upstate -because of the storm and fix the deck of his parents house - nobody else could do it - and asking for a raincheck on the dinner, suggesting that some time he would like me to come with him.

 

Its a second raincheck and he's making effort with somewhat legitimate excuses, and I'm feeling awkward now - and not sure how to respond - when is he cashing in raincheck 1 and now two?

 

Thank you

[Rns]

I think you may be over thinking things a bit. It is possible that he may very well be busy and thats ok. He seem to be responsive so why dont you be a little more patient and see what happens...

[levie]

thank you I think that sounds good :)

[milly007]

Yeah, I would give him some time. He sounds legitimately busy, and he's taking the time to let you know he's interested and that he wants to see you again.

 

And the guy drove upstate to fix his parents deck. He deserves brownie points for this. :)

 

He sounds considerate. I say cut him some slack...

[katrina1980]

I'm sorry but I don't agree with the others, this guy is just too smooth.

 

He has to fly out of town (breaking your date) but tells you how lucky he is to have met you. :eye roll:

 

Makes another date, but then suddenly has to fix his parent's deck because no one else can (cancelling for the second time) followed by "sometime" he would like you to come with him. Another :eye roll:.

 

After only three dates? And the guy hasn't even kissed you.

 

When a man starts in with the "future faking" (suggesting future plans after only a few dates) it should go in one ear and out the other. Do not take him seriously.

 

If he's so "lucky to have met you," why isn't he "setting" the next date with you?

 

Anyone can text and say, "when I get back" and after he cancelled the second time, he didn't even say "that," he said something about a "raincheck" and that "sometime" he would like you to go with him (to his parents).

 

Surely he must be back from fixing his parent's deck by now (if that's even the truth), has he contacted you to cash in on that "raincheck"? Scheduled the next date with you?

 

I could be wrong and since you like him, I hope I am, but it sounds to me like he's got you "on hold" and there is most likely another woman in the picture.

 

Sorry I could not be more encouraging and feel free to play it out, just don't become overly invested and continue to meet and date other guys.

[milly007]

I'm sorry but I don't agree with the others, this guy is just too smooth.

 

He has to fly out of town (breaking your date) but tells you how lucky he is to have met you. :eye roll:

 

Makes another date, but then suddenly has to fix his parent's deck because no one else can (cancelling for the second time) followed by "sometime" he would like you to come with him. Another :eye roll:.

 

After only three dates? And the guy hasn't even kissed you.

 

When a man starts in with the "future faking" (making future plans after only a few dates) it should go in one ear and out the other. Do not take him seriously.

 

If he's so "lucky to have met you," why isn't he "setting" the next date with you?

 

Anyone can text and say, "when I get back" and after he cancelled the second time, he didn't even say "that," he said something about a "raincheck" and that "sometime" he would like you to go with him (to his parents).

 

Surely he must be back from fixing his parent's deck by now (if that's even the truth), has he contacted you to cash in on that "raincheck"?

 

I could be wrong and since you like him, I hope I am, but it sounds to me like he's got you "on hold" and there is mostly likely another woman in the picture.

 

Sorry I could not be more encouraging and feel free to play it out, just don't become overly invested and continue to meet and date other guys.

 

Katrina could be onto something.

 

But yeah, can't hurt to give him some slack at this point, and definitely don't put all of your eggs in one basket.

 

If there are other guys you want to meet and get to know, get out there and spend time with them.

 

Don't limit yourself to this one guy right now.

[DanZee]

I agree that this guy has had too many excuses and he could have made time to meet up with you for an hour or two. And not even a goodnight kiss? It does seem strange.

 

I would say to give him one more chance, and if he wimps out, call it quits. This guy's not interested enough in you.

[Keyman]

Note: not all guys attempt to kiss a girl on the first, second, or third dates, or even try to get into your pants at the first opportunity. But, it would seem, that if this does not happen, women run around like they have their heads cut off proclaiming 'He's obviously not that into me!' cause some book says they had to or else.

 

I'll try to kiss a girl when I'm damn well ready and if she gets all bitter and twisted because I didn't do it in her timeframe, then 'She's just not that into me!'

 

But beyond that little rant, I too think he is playing it smooth and that there could be something else going on as it does seem like he is cancelling last minute.

 

Of course, this is all just speculation and he might turn out to be an upstanding citizen and allround good guy.

[Sportster2005]

So I went out with this guy 2 dates - third date he invited me to his family event - where I met his parents and siblings. He wrote me afterwards a very thoughtful text saying that they enjoyed meeting me and how thoughtful I was. We went on 3 dates I met his family, he hasn't kissed me.

We haven't had a date since due to his sickness and work - he asked me for a raincheck for Valentines - saying he had to fly out of town and how lucky he was he met me and that he'll meet me after he comes back.

A week later I wrote him my news - work and moving - and he suggested a celebratory dinner that he comes back on Thursday - to which I replied (Thurs eve) that I was moving Saturday and would be free Sunday.

 

On Saturday evening (late) - he wrote me -asking how my move went and a very long apologetic text (two paragraph) saying that he had to drive upstate -because of the storm and fix the deck of his parents house - nobody else could do it - and asking for a raincheck on the dinner, suggesting that some time he would like me to come with him.

 

Its a second raincheck and he's making effort with somewhat legitimate excuses, and I'm feeling awkward now - and not sure how to respond - when is he cashing in raincheck 1 and now two?

 

Thank you

 

When someone wants to be with you, they will. Busy excuses and rain checks just allow them to keep you in their back pocket. I could see cutting him some slack once. But not twice. You're not a priority.

[j.man]

I actually went a few dates without kissing my lady of 4.5 years. It's not characteristic of me, but she, frankly, was terrible at giving signals. I'd actually written her off as uninterested until she hit me up again.

 

Regardless, it's up to you to gauge how much you're enjoying his company and if you'd like to give him another shot. At face value, his excuses sound fine enough, but then again it's really no skin off my back if I take his word. However, in your shoes, while I'd still likely give him a chance to plan something else, I wouldn't be investing any prime real estate from my schedule, electing for days and times I'd be least put out if there happens to be another cancellation. I'd also be dating other people in the meantime.

[Starlight925]

You shouldn't have been meeting his family at 3 dates. I'm assuming the 1st date was a meet date? If that's correct, the family meeting was really at Date 2. Way too soon.

 

My opinion: He needed a date to his family's event. He wanted to show his family a nice girl. Then, after he was done with that, he's come up with all the excuses.

 

I hope you're still dating others.

[tattoobunnie]

If you are on the East Coast, we just had a major storm on Friday, and having another one tonight into tomorrow. I think he's legit. You just started dating, I wouldn't worry too much about it considering he keeps you updated. I've met family before right away with two guys I dated for over a year or more. It was fine. I would ask him to dinner and a movie like this Saturday. Since he's asked you to 3 already, good to switch it up.

[Wiseman2]

You haven't seen him in over 3 weeks? Invite him out and if he's too busy or suddenly cancels again, just write him off. It's possible, since you are not exclusive that he's multidating and hopefully you are as well.

[DaisyMayPorter]

How long has it been between the first date and now?