Piaresssss Posted January 3, 2018 Author Share Posted January 3, 2018 Haha.. I'm watching the Bourne Ultimatum.. much better Sleep is way off since NYE! Never seen any bourne movie. I will give them a watch. Me too buddy on the sleep. Made even worse with the cold. Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 Hope the cold gets better mate! I fully recommend the Bourne Quadrilogy when you have time (I don't count the one without Damon in it!). lol It's good that you have nice family support. Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 So am sitting here on my brothers sofa looking after his dog and just thinking about things. Im letting my mind wander and just thinking about anything that comes up. One thing is moving on. What is moving on? That may seem a silly question but I have never done it before. Is it having no feelings for them at all. Feeling something but realising you do not need them to be happy. Blocking them from your life forever. Wanting them to be happy no matter how it is. I am curious what people think moving on is to them. Im sure i will know what it means to me in time. Moving on to me means taking care of yourself and your needs because you are deserving of love and a future with someone who wants to share life with you, regardless of whether you hold positive or negative, or indifferent feelings for the ex. We all need to be happy within ourselves first , and not think we are incomplete, nor need someone to make us happy. Some deserve to be blocked, if they play mind games or have ulterior motives that are not conducive to keeping contact. Others can be not blocked, and catch up with you from time to time. It all depends on where you are in regards to healing. The only ex I regularly have contact with is my first love. It was the purest sync easiest relationship by far, and the bond was strong. The others, pfffttttt...... I couldn't care less on keeping those lines of communication open. I think we most often only wish the best for the ones who respected us to begin with. I hope you feel better soon! :) Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 It's interesting it means different things to different people. On a positive note Job interview next tuesday Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 Been a good day today. Yes i was down at moments but overall a good day. The girl i flirt with at work was in and low and behold the flirting started again. She still has a boyfriend but i get the impression that she is going to dump him soon. She has only been seeing him a month or two. Im not gonna do anything to encourage her to dump him but if she does i think im going to ask her out. Thats a big step for me. Thinking of other women. Also the job interview. Going suit shopping in a few days. I dont own one and gotta look my best. Beard trim maybe even a little hair trim. All the piercings have to come out. If i get this the trip to oz will be even sooner than i thought. Things are starting to get better. Link to comment
Carus Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 *Like* Sorry this is short Bro but it's 4:15am! See you here soon! Carus* Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Hey Piaresssss, Very pleased to see you had a good day mate. Flirting is a good step bro. Best of luck for the interview.. sure you'll look sharp! :) Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 Hey Piaresssss, Very pleased to see you had a good day mate. Flirting is a good step bro. Best of luck for the interview.. sure you'll look sharp! :) Me too. My flirting needs work. I have never been great at it. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 I'm not the world's best flirter either and I'm old. But recently a guy at work has started flirting with me. I have no intention of trying to see if he's actually interested in me, but it's fun. So I laugh at his jokes and respond with a joke of my own. Then he laughs. He finds me and says something funny, I say something funny back, we both laugh and then go on with our days. But it adds a little bit of "sparkle" to the work day, which isn't an awful thing. I just would advise you to not look at this woman as a potential anything. Because, you know, she has a boyfriend. Even if she left him she'd be totally fresh out of a relationship and that can get very, very messy. Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted January 5, 2018 Author Share Posted January 5, 2018 I'm not the world's best flirter either and I'm old. But recently a guy at work has started flirting with me. I have no intention of trying to see if he's actually interested in me, but it's fun. So I laugh at his jokes and respond with a joke of my own. Then he laughs. He finds me and says something funny, I say something funny back, we both laugh and then go on with our days. But it adds a little bit of "sparkle" to the work day, which isn't an awful thing. I just would advise you to not look at this woman as a potential anything. Because, you know, she has a boyfriend. Even if she left him she'd be totally fresh out of a relationship and that can get very, very messy. I totally 100% agree. This is just the fantasy in me. Just letting my mind imagine the possibilities is helping me feel better. Shows me there is a future. Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted January 5, 2018 Author Share Posted January 5, 2018 It seems im one day up ine day down at the moment. To be expected though. The getting back together thoughts are not as strong and less frequent but they are still there. I know they will go but gotta give it more time. Im trying to focus more on what is to come in my life. Gonna try and work more on certain things. My self esteem Jealously issues which i feel i am addressing quite well. Im sure there is more but cannot seem to think of any at the moment. Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 Got my suit today. Everything was on sale so got it for almost half price. The day didnt start great. I got added to a group chat about my holiday with the ex in. The person that started it even put in a please dont leave so we can organise. I just sent the person who started the chat a private message saying im happy for you to plan it all and go with the flow. I may not end up going but i cannot stay in this chat. Hope you understand. Then i left. Feel that was the best way to handle it. They replied with just an okay but my problems are not theres. Trying to not let it set the tone of the day but it is hard. Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Hey buddy, Nice one on the suit :) I have managed to avoid all the January "Sales" lol Do you live in central then? You must like the hustle and bustle! With the holiday chat, you definitley did the right thing. A much better idea would be to organise your own. Would be great to get away for abit. Hope your day picks up. Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 Hey buddy, Nice one on the suit :) I have managed to avoid all the January "Sales" lol Do you live in central then? You must like the hustle and bustle! With the holiday chat, you definitley did the right thing. A much better idea would be to organise your own. Would be great to get away for abit. Hope your day picks up. I live in Greenwich so not that far. I think i did the right thing too. I was uming and ahing about it but glad i left. I hope so too. Its only the begining of the day so plenty of tine to turn it round Link to comment
Carus Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 I agree with dear Sputnik* You did the right thing for your healing process...NC is just that. NC! And yes it will go up and down for a while... Up and down, but always forward* Carus* Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Have you thought about selling your place on the holiday P ? I know Japan ( I AM SURE THAT'S WERE YOU ARE GOING ...OOPS SHOUTY ) is a massive deal for us , it literally is one of those one a million holidays , however ............ You have a lifetime to go again . Anyhows hope you are all ok Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 Have you thought about selling your place on the holiday P ? I know Japan ( I AM SURE THAT'S WERE YOU ARE GOING ...OOPS SHOUTY ) is a massive deal for us , it literally is one of those one a million holidays , however ............ You have a lifetime to go again . Anyhows hope you are all ok Yh i have looked into a a bit. Im starting to become more comfortable with the idea if losing thr money. Im gonna keep nc and just try and ger better. Im doing better. Chilling in my bed rwting chocolate watching netflix. I actually went out last night to the pub and had a really good time. Everytime since the break I have said no but thought Id go last night. Glad I did. It led to me being invited out next week to a club in Camden. Not normally my thing but thought why not. Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 I just remembered a conversation I had with my brother yesterday. It was the most emotionally deep conversation I have had with him ever. It lasted about 5 minutes. It was about him and his ex. He asked me if I was still going on holiday and I said probably not (im flip flopping on it). I told him about the being friends thing and that is how we got onto the subject of his ex. He told me that they are really good friends. That she actually asked about if they would ever get back together and my brother said no. He then told me that his ex was laying out loads of scenarios of them grtting back together and my brother caved and agreed to one. In 20 years if they are single they can try again. Bit silly that one. Then he said, the part that really struck me, its a chapter of his life that is closed. That he does not regret the 7 years with her. He would do it again but that part of his life is over. I think the point im making is that the last 3 years of my life where wonderful but they are over. Do i no what is gonna happen? No i dont but gotta keep living. Im gonna try and savour this conversation with my brother. Yes it was short and he doesn't open up alot normally, it meant alot to me. I would tell him that but he would just make fun of me so I will write it here instead. Link to comment
Carus Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Out of interest and context, did your brother break up with her or the other way round? Judging by what you wrote I'm going to assume it was him.... Just an educated guess C* Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 Out of interest and context, did your brother break up with her or the other way round? Judging by what you wrote I'm going to assume it was him.... Just an educated guess C* Nope, other way around. He said it was mutual but it was her that wanted to end it when you look at the reality of it. Oh and he let slip once that he woke up one day and decided he didnt want her back after the way he was treated. Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Hey guys, "Then he said, the part that really struck me, its a chapter of his life that is closed." - That outlook is so beneficial. For most times in our lives we can view in chapter form.. the only 2 "things" that you can never change in your life are your family and your football team "Oh and he let slip once that he woke up one day and decided he didnt want her back after the way he was treated." - I can see exactly where your brother is coming from! It's great that you post your thoughts and convo's on here Piaresssss. Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 It's great that you post your thoughts and convo's on here Piaresssss. I think it is too. I have a lot bouncing around my mind so I need to get it out. Its crazy how different me and my brother are. He is suffer in silence and im like gotta get my feelings out. Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 I find your openness and honesty very refreshing buddy. :) Link to comment
Carus Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Nope, other way around. He said it was mutual but it was her that wanted to end it when you look at the reality of it. Oh and he let slip once that he woke up one day and decided he didnt want her back after the way he was treated. Ok, well yes, that is unusual.... Still, if she is now wanting him back that certainly goes a long way to relieving that pain of rejection.... A lot of people actually only want their ex to come back so they can say 'No thanks', and be at peace.... And finally.....Lucky him! Keep it comin' Piaressss Carus* Link to comment
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