Dad is mad that I'm going on dates with...

[Seraphim]

Mike was suicidal last year because he wasn’t understanding how to do his job; he felt his children would be better off without him and even had a suicide plan. When his plan was found out he was talked down from the roof and rescued.

 

I get that. I was suicidal for at least 35 years from severe child abuse as a kid. But my son comes before anyone.

[Seraphim]

Kate Hudson (Goldie’s daughter) does not consider her birth father to be her real father at all. She considers Kurt Russell to be her father. I have a feeling Mike’s kids will end up in a similar situation.

 

Just because Kate Hudson was ok doesn't mean every child will be. And celebrities are not reflections of every average Joe's life .

[itsallgrand]

I agree with your parents and the other posters. It doesn't sound good. If a friend asked me what I thought, I'd tell her I think there are too many serious red flags for it to be a good idea to continue to date this person.

[Batya33]

Yes. He does have that. If all of you met him and looked at his Facebook profile you’d all get a much better picture of him. Please stop saying untrue things.

 

Well from his actions it sounds like he is not being an involved father for suspect reasons (not a reflection of good character), and he is mentally unstable which is not a reflection of character and integrity but raises real concerns and red flags as far as whether he can be in a romantic relationship right now.

 

I think it's really concerning that you would judge whether someone was of good character and integrity in any way by the person's Facebook profile.

[midnightdeirdre]

I agree with your parents and the other posters. It doesn't sound good. If a friend asked me what I thought, I'd tell her I think there are too many serious red flags for it to be a good idea to continue to date this person.

 

Ok, ok. I have some news. Mike told me today that there is another big reason why he divorced that he hasn’t told me yet, but said he wants to tell me tonight via FaceTime before we decide to go on any more dates. I’ll keep you all up to date.

[Capricorn3]

Mike was suicidal last year because he wasn’t understanding how to do his job; he felt his children would be better off without him and even had a suicide plan. When his plan was found out he was talked down from the roof and rescued.

 

OP, the more you tell us about this guy, the worse it gets. He clearly has issues. Many serious issues. These are red flags waving in your face and you should take heed. Also, don't compare real life with movies and celebrities .... and Facebook.

 

Your parents are 100% right.

[midnightdeirdre]

OP, the more you tell us about this guy, the worse it gets. He clearly has issues. Many serious issues. These are red flags waving in your face and you should take heed. Also, don't compare real life with movies and celebrities .... and Facebook.

 

Your parents are 100% right.

Strange, because the more I talk with him, the more secure I feel.

 

Look, I just gave you guys a general background of the issues he has overcome. (Note: OVERCOME.) The issue he told me tonight wasnt that bad.

 

I have a feeling if you guys actually met him and sat down with him and had a genuine conversation with him, then you’d truly know and understand the situation.

[midnightdeirdre]

OP, the more you tell us about this guy, the worse it gets. He clearly has issues. Many serious issues. These are red flags waving in your face and you should take heed. Also, don't compare real life with movies and celebrities .... and Facebook.

 

Your parents are 100% right.

 

He told me he got the help he needed and has overcome it. All of you and my parents are panicking because of his PAST. So please, none of you are right. Please stop jumping to unfair conclusions.

[Seraphim]

Children are NOT a past. They are current and future . Your children are ALWAYS your children . And seeing your kids once a month isn't being a dad, period. He helped make these kids and he should be being a father.

[midnightdeirdre]

He helped make these kids and he should be being a father.

He and his ex are divorced. He pays child support and visits them once a month because it’s a 7-hour drive to see them.

[Seraphim]

He and his ex are divorced. He pays child support and visits them once a month because it’s a 7-hour drive to see them.

 

So? He is their FATHER. I would crawl over broken glass daily to see my child if necessary. He is not being a good dad and that is fact. Once a month is not being a dad.

[midnightdeirdre]

So? He is their FATHER. I would crawl over broken glass daily to see my child if necessary. He is not being a good dad and that is fact. Once a month is not being a dad.

 

Hello? They’re divorced and live in 2 completely states that are miles apart. (What do you expect him to do—-drive 14 hours back and forth from Massachusetts to Virginia 7 Days a week?)

[boltnrun]

Didn't he choose to move away?

 

I bet his kids would like to see him more. They didn't ask for him to move 7 hours away.

[midnightdeirdre]

He is not being a good dad and that is fact. Once a month is not being a dad.

 

Considering the circumstances, I think he’s fine. He pays child support and is seeing them when he can, which is once a month.

[midnightdeirdre]

Didn't he choose to move away?

 

I bet his kids would like to see him more. They didn't ask for him to move 7 hours away.

 

I’m sure they didn’t ask for their parents to divorce. But it is what it is.

 

Mike originally lived in Massachusetts. After the divorce was final he moved back here with his parents.

[boltnrun]

Sure, you can think it's "fine", but try to see it from his childrens' point of view.

[Seraphim]

Hello? They’re divorced and live in 2 completely states that are miles apart. (What do you expect him to do—-drive 14 hours back and forth from Massachusetts to Virginia 7 Days a week?)

 

Yup. That is what a parent does.

[midnightdeirdre]

Yup. That is what a parent does.

 

If I give you his email address, will you send him $200 a week for gas money via PayPal? Let me know.

[midnightdeirdre]

Yup. That is what a parent does.

Actually..I can see that from a mother’s point of view. But surely you agree the love between a child and father isn’t the same as a mother and child, yes?

 

“The books all say the same thing—-a mother becomes a mother when she becomes pregnant. A father becomes a father when he sees the baby.”

*~Thought provoking quote from the film Juno~*

[Seraphim]

If I give you his email address, will you send him $200 a week for gas money via PayPal? Let me know.

 

Why should I do that? I did not create his kids. And I am raising my own child. If you are a parent you do what you have to do and go without if necessary to make you sure that your children's needs are taken care of .

[Seraphim]

Actually..I can see that from a mother’s point of view. But surely you agree the love between a child and father isn’t the same as a mother and child, yes?

 

“The books all say the same thing—-a mother becomes a mother when she becomes pregnant. A father becomes a father when he sees the baby.”

*~Thought provoking quote from the film Juno~*

Nope. My husband adores his son and would do anything for him.

[Silverbirch]

It's easy to make assumptions about a person you don't know. When my son was in his teens, he moved not far away to live with his father. Nobody can know the effect it had on me to live so close, to have to drive nearby and not be able to see my child. I pretty much had a breakdown over that I wouldn't wish on anyone else. I wondered how the hell people cope with giving kids up for adoption. If Id had to do that I would have killed myself. I ended up moving away for my own sanity because I could not cope with things like knowing my son had mumps or it was something like that and he was left alone all day. I wasn't allowed to look after him - as punishment for having been the sole custodial parent for most of that child's life. For the people who judge, don't imagine we are all alike or have had the same life experiences.

[midnightdeirdre]

Why should I do that? I did not create his kids. And I am raising my own child. If you are a parent you do what you have to do and go without if necessary to make you sure that your children's needs are taken care of .

 

I was being sarcastic about giving you his email address. And yes, he is making sure his kids are being taken care of. He’s paying child support isn’t he? (If he wasn’t at least doing that, then fine I’d agree he was a bad father. He clearly isn’t.)

[midnightdeirdre]

In fact, I shudder to think what all of you would say if he wasn’t paying any child support and seeing his kids once a month. God, you’d all try to kill him.

[boltnrun]

You just are not going to see that him seeing his kids so infrequently can cause them so much damage.

 

Money cannot make up for the lack of his presence in their lives on a more frequent basis.