Blocked everywhere without warning

[Kristina2]

We started as friends, working at the same company. This happend about a year ago. He was nice black guy, younger than me, but we were getting along very well and liked eachother very much.

 

Then he had to leave to visit his family back home and I didn't want to let him go..he said he'll come back for me.

 

He stayed there over four months and I called him and we texted sometimes. Then it was quiet for weeks, but finally I send him a message and he texted me back.

 

This happend in June and started something amazing. We talked on the phone for hours, sent hot messages and finally decided to meet in July. We both knew what is going to happen on that day! And it did..I spent the day I will never forget with him❤ He was amazing and did everything right, I was in heaven...

We agreed to meet again in August and everything was great for two weeks, but then after our last call, there was silence...nothing, he started ghosting me. Sad, that I didn't realize that then. I went to meet him, but he wasn't at home, tried to call, no answer, sent a message, no answer and during the next day I noticed he had blocked me everywhere. No explanation, no reason, nothing, I wasn't worth of an explanation...

 

I was shocked, why was he so cruel to me?

 

I can't contact him, I'm still blocked, I just want to know what happend and why he did this to me? I'm confused, what should I do?

[Lonergirl12]

if i was you id see it as a calling for something better. if someone is going as far as blocking you for that amount of time and STILL hasn't tried to get back into contact that

is a statement in itself for whatever reason he hasn't stuck around maybe your paths may cross again in the future if not id advise you to take a long hard think

into what YOU want. focus on you. most importantly heal. this is probably one of the hardest situations ever because its almost like death , someone vanishing from your life. but all you can do to make it positive is heal and grow without anybody. eventually the right Soul will come along into your life. you will be fixated on the idea of having him and your

mind will still be wondering about him but once you accept what it is just let go.

[DanZee]

I don't know what happened for certain, but I can throw out a couple of theories.

 

During your day together, did you mention anything about marriage or getting engaged or anything like that? A lot of guys run from the idea of settling down or losing their sense of freedom. It's one of the reasons why there's so many single parent families. The guys just run from any responsibilities.

 

The second reason could be that he got what he wanted from you. He got his one-day stand with you and that was it. This is why you hook up with someone on Tinder and then never hear from them again. He's gone.

[ThatwasThen]

I just want to know what happend and why he did this to me? I'm confused, what should I do?

He was probably married or otherwise involved with some girl back where he visited his family. The obvious answer without speculation is that he's just a rude and insensitive arse that took advantage of your naiveté

 

Sorry this happened to you but this is what often happens when we (the general we) hook up with someone we barely know. Take it as a learning lesson and don't meet someone for an obvious hook up if you want more. I always say if you don't want to be just booty then don't be just booty.

[MissCanuck]

Maybe he is not single and she busted him.

[Kristina2]

Thanks for your answer, it made me think about lot of things..since our brake-up I've tried to focus on ME! I've started to take long walks 4 or 5 times a week. During these walks I can think about my life and sad but true I still think about him too much. I don't want to let go..cause I'm still waiting for a message or something from him. This is stupid, I know..he was too good to be true. All the nice things he said and did to me are still on my mind...It is so damn hard to believe that he was a player!!!! And all he wanted was sex! I can't trust men anymore..are they just saying what a woman wants to hear during a conversation? Are they just acting that they care about you?

[ThatwasThen]

Thanks for your answer, it made me think about lot of things..since our brake-up I've tried to focus on ME! I've started to take long walks 4 or 5 times a week. During these walks I can think about my life and sad but true I still think about him too much. I don't want to let go..cause I'm still waiting for a message or something from him. This is stupid, I know..he was too good to be true. All the nice things he said and did to me are still on my mind...It is so damn hard to believe that he was a player!!!! And all he wanted was sex! I can't trust men anymore..are they just saying what a woman wants to hear during a conversation? Are they just acting that they care about you?

You can trust a man when YOU take the time to let them earn your trust.

[No1]

What is there to be confused about? He cant, wont, doesn't want to see you. The why's don't matter. And be honest, if you even got an answer it would only lead to another 10 questions. Its a never ending thirst to know why, and I can tell you that at this point, the reason why he blocked you doesn't matter. Accept the moment and that is, he blocked you, end of story.

 

This guy was just not meant for you. If you really look back, its not him you miss, but the chase or the feeling of someone wanting to be with you that you like.

 

Just as a side note. I have a friend who is married and he does things like this all the time. Why you ask? Because he likes to feel attractive, desired and when he gets what he wants, he wants to cut all ties so there it reduces the chance of him getting caught. He wanted to chase you and told you whatever you wanted to hear. He got what he wanted and said see you later.. You don't need a man like that in your life. Guys like that will only give you headaches because you will constantly be thinking if you are the ONLY one he is getting with.

 

Let him go, he is not worth your time or energy

[Kristina2]

The best thing to do right now could be just forget him and let him go out of my mind and heart. BUT it's not that easy! I'm nothing to him right now but we had a connection. He came to me when his father died and I was there for him when he was sad. He told me some private things about his life and we shared a passion for football⚽ I think I can say we were friends, but something went wrong...He used to say to me are a strong woman" and he was right, I am! I'll survive and he'll be my memory, I will never forget.

[No1]

Kristina... You cant try to forget anything or anyone especially when you are actively thinking of them every day. So what is the best way to forget? By not thinking of it. Example: Write down two phone numbers, then throw one away, and keep the other one on your table and look at it every day and say you are going to forget about this number. Which one do you think you will forget first? Probably the one you threw away right? That's how you will forget.

 

And I know forgetting is not easy, so what do you do? Don't try to forget. What you are going thru is multi faceted. You have your desire to not think of him, but at the same time you want him back so you think of him. Then you go thru a load of emotions, sadness, depression, anger, fear, name it and you will probably feel it. So I think you just need to relax. And lets break things down.

 

Sounds to me you are waiting for an apology or an explanation that you are never going to get. Or one that you wont get when you want it. Maybe in a few months or years you will see him and ask him what happened, but by then it wont matter. So your want or need for an apology or justification for your pain is not going to happen. Another issue.. you are looking back to past promises and words he said you are holding them to your heart. Everything he said has to be tossed out the window because they no longer matter. Don't think back and say "But he said....." He said a lot of things and you just have to not give those words any meaning because they are meaningless.

 

Work on you, Accept the now- which is that he is not with you and he is not coming back, and live in the moment and make yourself happy, but keep an eye on the horizon because happiness is going to happen. It will find you again.

[Kristina2]

It has been interesting to read your writings about my situation and I'm grateful that you are giving me advice about the mess I'm in. Thing is..I'm not ready yet to let him go, still thinking about him every day a lot. I'm not going to force myself to do something I don't want. He is important to me and I'm still crazy sbout him. Fool, you may think...but I'll go through this doing what I think is best for me, step by step I'll be ok again. If you ever have met someone who has turned your world upside down, you know what I mean and have been feeling during this year...

[No1]

It has been interesting to read your writings about my situation and I'm grateful that you are giving me advice about the mess I'm in. Thing is..I'm not ready yet to let him go, still thinking about him every day a lot. I'm not going to force myself to do something I don't want. He is important to me and I'm still crazy sbout him. Fool, you may think...but I'll go through this doing what I think is best for me, step by step I'll be ok again. If you ever have met someone who has turned your world upside down, you know what I mean and have been feeling during this year...

 

You are in control of what you feel. If you allow your X to make you feel miserable then who is responsible for that? You are at a crossroads. You can choose path A (which is not easy) and let him go. You will have your rough times but in time, you will be open to meet someone better than your X. And yes there is someone better than your X. OR....

 

You take the path that decides not to let him go, which is the easiest path but the most painful to take and it also has the most prolong pain you can have. If you decide to take this path today..then any pain you feel from your X, thinking of your X, wondering and worrying about your X is solely because you wanted it.

 

Before you wonder if we or I understand what you are going thru. Oh yeah, I feel pretty confident in saying most of us have been thru where you are. Letting go is not easy and far easier said than done. Been there and done that. I am telling you, that holding on will only hurt you.

[Kristina2]

It has been interesting to read your thoughts about my situation and I'm grateful that you've tried to help me. Fact is I still love him and it feels impossible to me to get him out of my mind and heart. Perhaps I'll never know why he did this to me, there is nothing I can do about it. But it's hard to understand how such a nice guy can act like this? Maybe he just wanted to make it easy for him and avoid to hear and see my reaction. Maybe he wasn't man enough to say it to me face to face. I know this is not wise but I want to cherish the memory of us a little bit longer...someday I let him go, someday when letting him go is going to be easy and I' ve stopped missing and loving him.

[Hell_On_Heels]

 

A nice guy wouldn't act like this...and that means he's not a nice guy. He's not who you thought he was.

[Kristina2]

It is so hard to admit that he isn't that wonderful guy who I thought he was. No I can't believe it, I still think he is the most amazing guy I've ever met and the most interesting, because he is the first black guy I've dated.

[ThatwasThen]

It is so hard to admit that he isn't that wonderful guy who I thought he was. No I can't believe it, I still think he is the most amazing guy I've ever met and the most interesting, because he is the first black guy I've dated.

 

Your naiveté is glowing, Kristina. He doesn't deserve to be on that pedestal you have him on.

[Kristina2]

You can call me naive or whatever you want, but I have a plan to solve this mess. Even though I sometimes think "are you sure about this? You will get hurt again.."but I'm going to do it, for myself.

[Batya33]

It is so hard to admit that he isn't that wonderful guy who I thought he was. No I can't believe it, I still think he is the most amazing guy I've ever met and the most interesting, because he is the first black guy I've dated.

 

Perhaps he saw that a main reason you found him interesting was because his skin color was different than yours and that made him uncomfortable.

[itsallgrand]

It is so hard to admit that he isn't that wonderful guy who I thought he was. No I can't believe it, I still think he is the most amazing guy I've ever met and the most interesting, because he is the first black guy I've dated.

 

Wow, I've seen some zingers on this forum , but this is just... wow.

[MissCanuck]

You can call me naive or whatever you want, but I have a plan to solve this mess. Even though I sometimes think "are you sure about this? You will get hurt again.."but I'm going to do it, for myself.

 

You can't solve anything if he's not interested, girl.

 

And blocking you is a pretty clear sign he's not interested.

[ThatwasThen]

You can call me naive or whatever you want, but I have a plan to solve this mess. Even though I sometimes think "are you sure about this? You will get hurt again.."but I'm going to do it, for myself.

 

Oh, pray tell, what is your plan?

[boltnrun]

It is so hard to admit that he isn't that wonderful guy who I thought he was. No I can't believe it, I still think he is the most amazing guy I've ever met and the most interesting, because he is the first black guy I've dated.

 

Huh?

 

That's the reason you think he's "amazing" and "interesting"? Because of his skin color?

 

Maybe that came across to him and that's why he wants to be away from you.

[Kristina2]

This is it..thank you for your opinions and advices. I liked some of them and some I found not so nice. But anyway, life goes on with or without him. Now it's time to say over and out.

[Kristina2]

Huh?

 

That's the reason you think he's "amazing" and "interesting"? Because of his skin color?

 

Maybe that came across to him and that's why he wants to be away from you.

 

For your information, the color of his skin wasn't the only reason..there were more, but those are something I'm not going to share with anyone..

[mustlovedogs]

For your information, the color of his skin wasn't the only reason..there were more, but those are something I'm not going to share with anyone..

 

His skin color shouldn't play in to how interesting he is at all... I wouldn't want to be with someone who thought that either.