glitterfingers Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Yes, you read that correctly. This is a really awkward situation to be in and I honestly don't know what to do. My boyfriend (long distance) was my best friend for about a year before we decided to take things further (at the start of this year), so he already knows that at one point in time I was on a sugar dating website but that I never slept with anyone because I wasn't able to go through with it (sex is more of a special, relationship kind of thing to me). I only met two guys in person for a first 'date' and all we did was talk and they bought me dinner/drinks and one paid for my taxi home. I never got into an actual arrangement and after my boyfriend came into my life I stopped going on that site. However, I made one "friend" off this website who I still keep in touch with. We have skyped and talked about meeting. I kind of fell for this guy when I first started talking/skyping with him, but it wasn't going to go any further until/unless we met. I told him at some point last year I couldn't meet him as I was in love with my best friend, and he actually convinced me that the relationship with my best friend was not viable because of the long distance, so I stopped talking to my best friend for a little while but still didn't meet my potential sugar daddy as I had some personal issues to work through and didn't want to get involved. During this time, he applied for a job at my university since he wants to move from where he lives currently (a few hours away) as he is unhappy, suffers from depression, insomnia and occasional alcoholism. He didn't get the job and told me he thinks it unlikely he'll get many opportunities to find suitable work where I live. We still kept in touch regularly even though I wasn't ready to meet him 'just yet'. Fast forward to the start of this year, I started talking to my best friend again because I missed his companionship, and we very quickly reignited the sparks and decided that we were going to work hard to be together because it was better than the alternative of being apart. During this time, I still kept in touch with my potential sugar daddy. I felt we have developed a good friendship/rapport and I do care about him - I feel that I should check up on him from time to time as he has some issues that he struggles with and he has divulged them to me. He was overseas recently and I joked about how I was jealous I didn't get an invite, and he took it a bit more seriously than I intended and commented that he would invite me next time. A few days ago he suggested he would have invited me to visit him on another trip he's taking if I weren't in the middle of my final exams. I didn't reply to the message. He sent another saying he's still really interested in meeting me. Again, I didn't reply. Today he messaged me asking how my studying is going. Now I am starting to feel upset and guilty. If I am honest with him and tell him I have a boyfriend, AND it's the same guy from last year, I think I will lose this friendship with him and I feel guilty for that because I actually care about him and wish he had a partner who would take care of him. I didn't know I would get involved with my friend again and that it would mean that my 'sugar daddy' and I would not get a chance to meet and explore some semblance of a relationship (he knows where I stand with regards to sex and romance). Sometimes I kick myself for falling for my beautiful, amazing but broke single dad of a boyfriend. I'm a practical person and this rich man wants to pursue me but I'm hopelessly in love with my best friend. And I wouldn't change that, but how am I supposed to tell him the truth either? Am I supposed to tell him that I'm ending a friendship with this guy because I've chosen to be with him? I don't know what the correct thing to do is. I know this sounds incriminating but I don't think I've strung anyone along or done anything unethical, I've made it very clear when I wasn't interested in pursuing anything more and my potential sugar daddy decided to wait around and maintain our friendship anyway. I'm not sure if that's because he wants a relationship with me, but it seems likely that he won't want to be friends once I come clean about being committed. What is the best way to handle this situation so that nobody gets hurt/jealous? Can I remain friends with this guy or would it be unfair to my partner? Link to comment
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