Found a guy sending my girlfriend inappropriate pictures. Take a step back?

[SadSadgirl]

I'm not sure what to do. Before I left her place today, she gave me her phones password too.

 

But not like I'm ever going to pick up her phone to go through it. That's extremely insecure looking on my part.

 

She should just block them. I want to break up with her tonight but before I do, I want to say that "the simple solution would have been to block them. But the fact that it's not common sense to you and the fact that I had to actually say it tonight, it's too late. Good luck in your future relationships".

 

you're making a very good decision in leaving early. she sounds very insecure and needy, which would only potentially make your relationship worse. good luck

[jmann45]

My second option would be to tell her that I need some time to think. And just not talk to her for a couple days, and then go back and see if she's changed anything at all.

 

That'll also scare her and show her that there are consequences in doing things like this. And it's not just a free pass.

[Hollyj]

My second option would be to tell her that I need some time to think. And just not talk to her for a couple days, and then go back and see if she's changed anything at all.

 

That'll also scare her and show her that there are consequences in doing things like this. And it's not just a free pass.

 

I give up!

 

Your standards and expectations are very low. Most would have been done!

[SadSadgirl]

My second option would be to tell her that I need some time to think. And just not talk to her for a couple days, and then go back and see if she's changed anything at all.

 

That'll also scare her and show her that there are consequences in doing things like this. And it's not just a free pass.

 

it doesn't take a few days to change years of built up insecurity. let her go. you can't change her. if you leave her she'll prob just go with one of the guys sending her nasty pics.

[jmann45]

I just replied to her message saying.

 

you told me yesterday that you always feel like I'll find someone better. It's called taking a risk. you shouldn't be so insecure in yourself that you're keeping these guys in your snapchat as a cushion in case I leave. It "rips my heart apart" too. when I talked to you today, it just didn't seem like we have the same view on what we should/shouldn't be doing. I understand you technically aren't "doing" anything but you could do plenty of things to prevent that... I just need some time to think.

[Cleardecisions]

Damn Man. Ive read most of your other posts and you are very unsure of yourself. I get what these other people are saying about ending it before it gets too far and this is only a sign of things to come. They are absolutely right in saying you have very low standards for yourself.

 

But what you need to do is be coy about the wording and talk to her. Say exactly what we are saying here. Say "the fact that I even have to say you should probably think about blocking them is what bothers me more than them sending you the pics. This is something you should have already done once we became exclusive. I feel kind of stupid even having to say that. I will never tell you who you can and cannot be friends with. Ive never been that type of guy. But the fact that you don't see how ridiculous it is that you haven't blocked these morons yet is why I was even considering taking a step back".

 

Or something to that effect. I'm not saying these people above don't have this girl pegged perfectly, but give her a chance to see how she responds to that. If your BS meter lights up, then follow the above advice and walk away. But I always prefer at least attempting an honest conversation before making rash decisions. Don't be sappy about it. Be strong like bull and let her know what the f*cks up!

[jmann45]

I'll let her off in a couple days. Today's her birthday.

[SadSadgirl]

I'll let her off in a couple days. Today's her birthday.

 

good, in the long run you'll thank yourself

[jmann45]

Damn Man. Ive read most of your other posts and you are very unsure of yourself. I get what these other people are saying about ending it before it gets too far and this is only a sign of things to come. They are absolutely right in saying you have very low standards for yourself.

 

But what you need to do is be coy about the wording and talk to her. Say exactly what we are saying here. Say "the fact that I even have to say you should probably think about blocking them is what bothers me more than them sending you the pics. This is something you should have already done once we became exclusive. I feel kind of stupid even having to say that. I will never tell you who you can and cannot be friends with. Ive never been that type of guy. But the fact that you don't see how ridiculous it is that you haven't blocked these morons yet is why I was even considering taking a step back".

 

Or something to that effect. I'm not saying these people above don't have this girl pegged perfectly, but give her a chance to see how she responds to that. If your BS meter lights up, then follow the above advice and walk away. But I always prefer at least attempting an honest conversation before making rash decisions. Don't be sappy about it. Be strong like bull and let her know what the f*cks up!

 

She replied to my last message I sent which is posted above. She said

[ATTACH]11349[/ATTACH]

 

I hate how she's just missing the point about blocking them. I am going to send exactly what you said. And yes, I am a late bloomer. I haven't really had any real relationships so I am unsure of some things. Thank you for your input, you sounds very experienced. I like your quoted message you said I should send her. I'll let you know what she says.

[SadSadgirl]

She replied to my last message I sent which is posted above. She said

[ATTACH]11349[/ATTACH]

 

I hate how she's just missing the point about blocking them. I am going to send exactly what you said. And yes, I am a late bloomer. I haven't really had any real relationships so I am unsure of some things. Thank you for your input, you sounds very experienced. I like your quoted message you said I should send her. I'll let you know what she says.

 

she isn't missing the point, i just don't think she wants to block them.

[mustlovedogs]

I can't see your message but don't turn this in to a discussion. Just say you deserve better than this and you need time to evaluate if this relationship is right. It's confident. Nothing more. Even if she calls

[jmann45]

I can't see your message but don't turn this in to a discussion. Just say you deserve better than this and you need time to evaluate if this relationship is right. It's confident. Nothing more. Even if she calls

 

She just replied saying that she'll block the guys who send her pics. And then she said that her whole birthday is ed and she just can't take it anymore. Her message is extremely long explaining how she thought today was going to be a great day but turned out to be a show. Then at the end she just said "do that you gotta do". Should I forgive her and accept her apology since she agrees to block these guys who are sending the pics?

[mustlovedogs]

No. don't turn it in to a discussion.

[Hollyj]

No. Even if you weren't dating, why would you be interested in a girl that accepted these types of pics. The majority of women would be turned off and offended.

 

Stop looking for excuses. This woman has no boundaries.

[boltnrun]

She just replied saying that she'll block the guys who send her pics. And then she said that her whole birthday is ed and she just can't take it anymore. Her message is extremely long explaining how she thought today was going to be a great day but turned out to be a show. Then at the end she just said "do that you gotta do". Should I forgive her and accept her apology since she agrees to block these guys who are sending the pics?

 

Well, that was easy for her.

 

Some "wahhh wahhh poor me" words and a weak "apology" and FINALLY " agreeing" to block those guys and you're willing to forgive and forget.

 

Let's see what she comes up with next that's inappropriate.

[boltnrun]

Let me ask you this:

 

If you hadn't seen that one message, do you think she would have blocked these guys on her own? Or do you think she would have continued to accept and admire these guys' penis pics?

 

Think about that, then decide if a person who hides these kinds of things from you is who you want to be with.

[jmann45]

Well, that was easy for her.

 

Some "wahhh wahhh poor me" words and a weak "apology" and FINALLY " agreeing" to block those guys and you're willing to forgive and forget.

 

Let's see what she comes up with next that's inappropriate.

 

And she agreed to block 1. The other one she's still justifying for saying that he sends lots of girls his pictures and she doesn't even care about him. That's when I just replied for her to give me some space and time to think about all of this. There's a total of 2 guys who were sending her pics. That I know of.

[Hollyj]

You're choosing not to hear a word we've said.

 

Good luck!

[jujusamples]

I'll let her off in a couple days. Today's her birthday.

 

Stop making up excuses for her! The damage has already been done. The reason she's feeding you all this BS is because you let her. Like I said, it's only been two months, things shouldn't be like this. Geez, at the 2 months point, I'm still day dreaming about my bf and in 7th heaven. She doesn't have much respect for you and you don't have respect for yourself. If you did, you would have drop her already. Unless you enjoy drama?

[RainyCoast]

i'm sorry how it turned out J.

 

i don't remember your thread about trusting her on her outings so speaking without context here, but maybe you had a good a gut feeling about her behavior.

 

i hope you'll break it off.

 

i haven't seen your age, but this girl sounds awfully like an adolescent. you'll find someone more mature in no time.

[yatsue]

And she agreed to block 1. The other one she's still justifying for saying that he sends lots of girls his pictures and she doesn't even care about him. That's when I just replied for her to give me some space and time to think about all of this. There's a total of 2 guys who were sending her pics. That I know of.

 

In her text she said she got a picture from only one guy that she didn't reply to, but in the same breath said she responded to a question of his??? AND it's not just one guy...it's at least two...AND she tried to grab her phone away from you, trying to hide the messages. Pretty contradictory behavior on her end, no?

 

She's downgrading this in order to make you feel bad for dumping her. How manipulative.

[Wiseman2]

If she insists on sexting after you are exclusive then just dump her.

I want to break up with her tonight but before I do, I want to say that "the simple solution would have been to block them. But the fact that it's not common sense to you and the fact that I had to actually say it tonight, it's too late. Good luck in your future relationships".

[DancingFool]

Way too much drama for 2 months in. Please stop stringing this out and just dump her already. This whole "need to think" thing you are doing is both very insecure of you and very nasty as well, making her wait for your "decision". Very nasty, passive aggressive behavior on your part. You are not happy with her, too much drama, too many d*ck pics - you simply tell her it's not working out for you and end things. You don't argue, you don't debate, you don't even explain. At 2 months, no explanations required. Besides, she is not retarded, she knows full well what she is doing and what the consequences of that are. All she is really doing is testing you to see how big of a doormat you will be and how well she can possibly manipulate you. Surely you see through her bs, right?

 

Welcome to dating - you meet someone you think is great, you dump when the second you realize they are garbage. This chic is garbage. To be successful, aka meet the right woman, you will need to learn to become much stronger and much more direct and ruthless when it comes to weeding out all the wrong ones.

[indea08]

All of her "apologies" are awful. She's trying to get you to pity her enough to change your mind. "I f*cked up my birthday, I f*cked everything up, boohoo, poor me, me, me, me, me." No where did she say "I'm sorry for putting you in this situation, I was wrong, I should have blocked them right away, etc." Leave her!

[superfan]

Dump her and cease all contact with her. A person in a committed relationship does not allow themselves to receive those pictures from other guys. She has zero respect for you, or the relationship.