Pulling away?

[AneraMyode]

Sometimes I feel like he's pulling away. He doesn't always tell me how he's feeling or what he's thinking but he's always been like that. We've dated for one and a half years and he's never said he loves me. I'm scared to say it myself because of that.

[gebaird]

18 months is a long time to be in a relationship without saying or hearing, "I love you." Does he do any of the initiating in the relationship or is it all you? If he's always been a bit reserved, perhaps there's no reason to be concerned that he's pulling away. However, there may be reasons to be concerned that he's not getting closer to you.

 

After 18 months you pretty much know what someone is like. If he makes you happy, don't let a few unspoken words ruin it.

[limichelle]

I personally wouldn't stand for it, especially the pulling away part. My biggest pet peeve people who have their guard up!

 

Can you communicate with him about this, if not move on. You have to communicate in order to make a relationship work.

 

Lisa

[Hollyj]

Why do you put up with this?

 

You sound like a convenience for him.

 

Why haven't you done better by yourself??! This is sad.

[Wiseman2]

Being a quite person who doesn't babble their thoughts out loud all the time is not a problem.

 

The problem is you don't know where you stand. Do you live together? Are you dating exclusively or is it fwb? Why play 'you go first' when it comes to expressing your feelings? Speak up stop playing games.

 

Does he act like he loves you?

We've dated for one and a half years and he's never said he loves me. I'm scared to say it myself because of that.

[katrina1980]

What do you mean by pulling away? Not calling for a day or two? Not wanting to talk sometimes? He could be more introverted than you.

 

Some people need more time together than others, you may need more, he may need less, that is not wrong per say. Just different. You interpret it as pulling away, he interprets it as he needs a little space sometimes, again nothing wrong with that. You just have different needs and styles. Not saying I love you yet, my fiancé didn't tell me for a year, nor did I tell hm. I knew he loved me tho, didn't actually need for him to say it.

 

Do you know about love languages? My love language is 'quality time', so for me does not matter how much time we spend together or his words, but more the quality of that time together. Your love language could be 'words of affirmation' so you need to hear the words whip is OKAY.

 

If you dont have the book, maybe buy it and read together? To gain more insight and understanding of each other? It might bring you closer emotionally too.

[j.man]

He doesn't always tell me how he's feeling or what he's thinking

I gagged.

 

I hate being asked to say what I'm thinking. Fortunately, my partner never has. Ask any guy that question and suddenly he's on the spot, having to think about an answer she actually wants to hear because "why we're OK with the smell of our own poop but not someone else's" or "why coffee smells so good but tastes like ****" for some reason aren't acceptable answers even if it was what we really were thinking.

 

In any case, no one can come up with anything meaningful from your two extremely vague lines. What I will say is that I hope this isn't how you communicate issues in real life.

[SherrySher]

Gagg-o-licious