Lying about my age to a guy

[boltnrun]

Tell him.

 

Part of growing up is realizing there are consequences to our actions and accepting those consequences, not trying to find a way around them or to lie your way out of them.

[Dahl]

I feel like you're missing the point. It's not about underage drinking or how anything else I've done will affect my family because it won't. I'm not "plotting" anything that anyone needs to stress about, I'm simply trying to figure out how to sort this whole thing out with the least amount of repercussions

 

This is the perfect example of just how immature you are and how dangerous the selfish notion you are entertaining is.

 

This also shows where your priorities lie. This isn't about how little you are affected by coming clean with your lies.

[SophiaZ]

This is the perfect example of just how immature you are and how dangerous the selfish notion you are entertaining is.

 

This also shows where your priorities lie. This isn't about how little you are affected by coming clean with your lies.

 

I'm not talking about how I'd be affecte, I'm talking about repercussions for him

[Dahl]

Again, I urge you to tell your parents. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, please consider an adult whom you do feel you're able to speak freely to.

 

I don't think that you are trying to be malicious or unkind. But perhaps someone closer to you can help you see the bigger picture here, before you do something that truly will destroy lives.

 

His, yours, the families. Civil litigation in cases like these can easily go both ways.

 

I mentioned the underage drinking because when, not if, this relationship is uncovered, you may well be held accountable for tangential choices you made in its execution.

 

Save yourself from serious damage, then, if saving this man from it is not enough to motivate you.

[j.man]

Tell him you're 14. If he's got any sense, he'll remove himself from the picture and you won't have to so much as break a sweat. I might advise you to tell your parents but I'd hate to ruin a very young man's life because the parents of a girl he thought was 16 vindictively turned him in and now he's a registered sex offender.

[boltnrun]

Tell him you're 14. If he's got any sense, he'll remove himself from the picture and you won't have to so much as break a sweat. I might advise you to tell your parents but I'd hate to ruin a very young man's life because the parents of a girl he thought was 16 vindictively turned him in and now he's a registered sex offender.

 

Exactly.

 

Instead of trying to avoid consequences or lie your way out of this, just tell him the truth.

 

Being honest will avoid a whole lotta headaches down the line.

 

And thankfully you didn't have sex! Can you imagine??!!

[Almira23]

You are only 14. I am quite sure you will meet plenty of other guys that you are interested in. I would just tell him your age, so he doesn't get into any legal trouble.

[limichelle]

Oh my goodness you are the same age as my niece! Op you are still a child, I know you don't want to hear that but being involved with an 18 year old you are on two different playing fields. He is going to find out so I would be upfront. He is not going to want to date you because you are on different life paths. He may be graduating highschool or starting college. You aren't even close!

 

This is the advice I would give my niece.

 

Please also proceed with caution and let him know. This could go very bad for you!

 

Lisa

[melancholy123]

OMG! You are jail bait! This guy will go to jail for a long time once he finds out and other people find out and then the police get involved. How dare you lie to him like that? 14!!! Getting drunk, having sex....you need to stop lying to him and anyone else you lie to and start living a 14 yr old girl's life, not trying to be older than you are. Where are your parents? Is nobody paying attention to what you are doing?

[SophiaZ]

I'm telling him today after he gets out of school because even though I know I wouldn't let him get in to any legal trouble because I'd be careful enough to not let people find out; I feel guilty for lying to him. It's not like he's unaware of the legal trouble he could get in to, he thinks I'm a year older than I am which still makes me a minor. The reason I've been putting it off is because it'll get my best friend. In to since they're friends and in the same grade. It's still the right thing despite the consequences so I'm just going to tell him and clear my conscience. I'm hoping for the best possible outcome, which is he won't be *too* pissed and he'll still stay friends with my bestfriend, even though there's a very very slim chance. Thanks for all the advice

[superfan]

OP I don't know where you live, but in most places the legal age of consent is 18. Many places also have "romeo and juliet" clauses that protect a person if he is within a year or two of the older party. Meaning, if he thinks you are 16 and he is 18, he is unlikely to get in any legal trouble if you are in fact 16.

 

At 14 however, there is a VERY good chance that he could be charged with statutory rape. That would RUIN his life. He would be considered a sex offender and put on the sex offender's registry. It would follow him around forever.

 

DO NOT do that to him. Tell him. He might stop talking to you, but that is his right. And if you want to be an adult, part of being one is being honest with your potential partners.

[SophiaZ]

I told him and he handled it surprisingly well. He said he's not angry at me for lying but he's a bit uncomfortable now because he feels wrong. But he still wants to stay friends with me and he's not mad at my bestfriend for not telling him. I feel like this is the best outcome that could've happened. I'm just grateful that he's being so understanding

[Wiseman2]

Excellent. It was the mature thing to do.

I told him and he handled it surprisingly well. He said he's not angry at me for lying but he's a bit uncomfortable now because he feels wrong. But he still wants to stay friends with me