Lisii Posted September 29, 2017 Author Share Posted September 29, 2017 I told him it was over. I sadly did it via txt as I didn't want to drag it out any longer. I messaged him: "I'm sorry I don't want to drag this on. I have come to the decision that I want to end this relationship, I don't want drugs or alcohol in my life or around the boys. I truly care for you and wish you the best, and hope we can remain friends -L I received in response: "Well that wasn't what I expected but you have made your decision, Sad that you feel like that but that is your decision." I then replied as he was going on a weekend road trip with his mate: "I'm sorry I didn't want to do it over text, But with you being with XX I thought he could give you some support/company. I will leave it in your hands when and how you want to collect/remove your stuff." He replied: "So that's it? Well I'm shocked that you could be so cold but better now than finding out later, I will let you know about the collection of my stuff.. I'm sad he felt it was a cold way of doing it, we hadn't really been speaking (apart from his ranting at what a nasty person I was and then about facing to tell me how much he missed and loved me), I sent the text as I couldn't tell him I didn't miss him or his drama filled rants, or his denial that he has an addiction problem. I didn't love him anymore. I haven't heard from him since, I will let him calm down, he has liked a post (just a meme) I put on Facebook, and he's taken me off his profile pic. I would like to remove him as a friend on fbook, but for some reason I still feel like I've let him down for not being able to help him and will let him do it. I feel kinda proud that I could protect myself and my boys. I'm certainly not going into another relationship while my kids are here, the next 2-3 years will be about them, my family and my friends. My dad laughed at me saying that I really have had the run of the mill... it's true, in the last 7 years I've had the cheater, the user, the abuser, and now the addicted... now it's time to focus on me. School holidays have started, Its coffee this morning with a dear gf and the boys, movies tomorrow with an old mate, drinks on Thursday next week with 2 friends and family reunion and camping with the boys the following weekend. Spring has hit and everyone is coming out of hibernation. yay - I need it Link to comment
Jibralta Posted September 29, 2017 Share Posted September 29, 2017 Good for you! He sounded mean. Link to comment
Lisii Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 Thanks Jibralta, I truly believe it's his cooked brain, and under the mush is a big hearted little broken boy, I'm just done with it, and relationships in general. So, to celebrate I have done something I have never done before... , I bought myself a beautiful brand new occasional reclining chair and lounge suite... I am so frugal with my money that in my 46 years I have never bought a new lounge - I had a beautiful Chesterfield that my parents had for years before me, and kept that for 25 years, until it gave up the ghost. I bought a 2nd hand leather thing to replace it and now I thought bugger it, I am going to have something new and nice and I went and did it. - I have a little buyers remorse, but woohoo! it's going to look so cute! School holidays atm, and it hasn't stopped raining, - everyone is over the rain, including my kids. I guess it's better than drought, only we are in one big mushy puddle. Work has been sold to an amazing IT company, I can't wait to start! Our new Boss came in today to ask and answer questions, it will be good to work for a large firm again - hopefully it's the turning point I've been waiting for. Apart from that I have no news - (tehe except from my new lounge - Sqweeeekkkkk! makes me smile - It's not me to get into materialistic things, but Yay I think I deserve to spoil myself this one time!) Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 Don't feel bad for a minute that you ended it over a text. Had you thought for a minute that you could have a calm, mature - though difficult conversation with him I am sure you would have. You saved yourself what would have likely been a volatile scene. That's on him. I don't know you Lisii, but from just your words you seem like a sweet, gentle soul. You are good to be rid of him. If not for you, your boys. You did good. . hang in there! Link to comment
dias Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 I don't know Lisii either but she seems a great mom (which is not that common) and she loves nature too. She can't be anything else than a sweet gentle soul! Link to comment
Lisii Posted October 12, 2017 Author Share Posted October 12, 2017 Oh reinventmyself and dias, my eyes are leaking... Thank you for your beautiful words Link to comment
Lisii Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 Yay! spring is here - my garden is bursting with life and so is my motivation! Tomorrow I join the gym finally (I have been waiting for the 1st Nov as they are waving the joining fee and admin fee for that day - ha! that's a bonus right there!) - it's a fancy new gym, down the road from me, which is awesome - walking distance and new fresh! But God help me when I have my first session at the gym, it's been so long!!!! Again I have eliminated alcohol, sugar, wheat and dairy from my diet, - I do this a lot but as I'm an emotional eater, I tend to fall of the wagon constantly. Basically I'm just eating raw foods, being spring here we have a lot of yummy season veges out, so it's easy. (thusfar!), I've noticed the difference in my face, especially puffiness and uneven skin tone has gone! Yay for small victories! Tonight I am holding a BBQ for my brother from another mother, it's his birthday and he's all alone (his gf is out of town), so I've invited him with two friends for a nice light hearted giggle night (he's Canadian and very naughty/cheeky ). Tomorrow I am going to see Bad Moms 2 with my girlfriends (special screening with treats - no idea what the treats are - hopefully not food!) other than that, no drama's, a little sadness as one of the dogs I steal to walk with, passed away today. We will have a little toast to her memory tomorrow before the movie tomorrow. Cute little thing, I will miss taking her in the forest. No news from Mr London, which is a blessing, the constant berating from him was tiring. I went no contact and he got the message. I had Mr G from last year contacted me again and hinted for a catch up, I couldn't converse with him as I have no desire to go into a relationship, and that includes flirting or even touching on the possibility of dating (if that makes sense) I'm so tired of it all... I did say he's welcome to pop in at Christmas and say hi, as he's alone, but I've said that to everyone of my straggler friends! ha. So in summary, Little Lisii is happy, content and sticking to finding herself again. Loving her garden/home and enjoying the company of her two teenagers - the giggles and laughter from our banter is so fulfilling! they are such twits! (that makes me one too!) My love tank is full. Link to comment
Lisii Posted November 12, 2017 Author Share Posted November 12, 2017 New month, new thoughts - or I guess additions to old thoughts. I didn't join the gym, I had better pay off my new lounge instead - first time in my life I have bought solely for my enjoyment, not sure on the practicability of a fabric couch with two teenaged hefferlumps, I have good household insurance just in case! Not really the full reason of not joining the gym, I didn't like the lady in charge, she had this huge carrot up her bum... no smiles - geez she's suppose to motivate people!, been talking with my neighbour who would also like to join, she has found a good smaller gym, which would be a good start for me so, next pay day, I will give it a go. I guess I have been overthinking with my little mind, first with Mr London - I have so much in my mind to say to him, he is spreading rumours on how horrible I was to him and how I kicked him out without warning... sigh... I gave him plenty. He's now trying to damage my reputation to stroke his ego and playing victim... He messaged my son (WTH!) on Sunday morning and told him he was at a friends toasting to the death of another friend. I know for a fact it was not a friend of his that passed away, he is trying to mindF$ me into contacting him.... and do his woes is me. - this may sound really horrible, but I just want to shake some common sense into him and tell him how he's throwing his life away to these drugs and alcohol - he'll probably be not far from joining this friend... so sad, I won't. it's frustrating me to no end. Also Mr G contacting me last month, it's brought up so many emotions from last year, I believed him last year when he did his "sales pitch" on me, he sucked me in so hard - I even told him before I went into a relationship with him that I didn't have the energy to go through another break up and then after hooking me in then it was all too hard with his divorce (which he told me was finalised prior to going into a relationship - I thought I had covered all the red flags with him, but he lied on all), he burnt me bad... he was talking to another woman, who he said was just a friend - I'm not that dumb... now he contacts me again and expects me to open my arms to him with no apologies etc - that hurts. Why did I even reply to his txts - he didn't even apologise for his behaviour. Guess I'm feeling hormonally emotional and over analyzing everything again, I see that I was naive to listen to it, (I desperately wanted it - which was they wrong thing) and that is exactly why I'm in no position to be in a relationship until I find myself. I'm in a few Facebook groups, (one for woman and one for solo parents) as well as this forum and everything I have gone through is so common, that it makes me feel I'm not alone, but also I guess it also feels so cliche (not sure if that's the right word). I'm not depressed, just pondering... so many thoughts, which I guess is a good thing. I am learning a lot about myself and how much I attracted these relationships. Man I need to sort myself out. moving on... My eldest is a couple of weeks away from turning 16, and had his first Level1 English exams this morning - cheeky thing texted me "mum you should give me $25 for every exam I pass" - bahaha, my reply was " I should, but I expect you want me to pay for your drivers test" - (they can sit the test here at 16 yrs) - his response was "True, Okay deal you pay for my license" - lol - guess I'm paying for his licence. (I deliberately left his spelling err) My youngest who just turned 14, sent me this txt. "mum" (I was away from my phone for 2 mins) "mum" - me "yes" him "I might of forgot my bike lock" Me "find your brother" him "Can't, never mind, they have security cameras - it will be fine" Me ringing him - I'm on my way - but I want you to know I'm seriously angry, give me 5 mins to get to school.. him 3 mins later "Mum, where are you" Me - inwardly screaming - Argggggggh Got to work with 2 mins to spare..... love Monday's! Still drama free, still happy (apart from when I reflect on the past - dumb! - moving forward) my garden is pretty, I'm proud of it - my wisteria is beautiful... will post a little photo later (if I remember) Work sale should be unconditional by next Wednesday - fingersX Link to comment
Lisii Posted November 13, 2017 Author Share Posted November 13, 2017 Ok - doing it, posting my private sanctuary online for a short time... My Side garden - My Betula (Crimson-Frost Birch tree) - Native to US/Canada, and my Bridal Wisteria - this is part of the view of where I regroup every morning (with coffee). [img] Tree by Lisii, on Flickr Link to comment
Lisii Posted November 13, 2017 Author Share Posted November 13, 2017 Thanks Jibralta - I forgot to add that the first pic was in our Autumn in Aug, then the others are from the last 6 weeks inOct/Nov... Link to comment
Jibralta Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 Ah. It sort of looked that way to me, but I wasn't sure... Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 Wow. . You could charge admission! Beautiful. Link to comment
Lisii Posted November 14, 2017 Author Share Posted November 14, 2017 Wow. . You could charge admission! Beautiful. Awwwww - Warm fuzzies - I share for free, it's very serene, especially when the native birds come and visit. (this is why I always have endless visitors in the summer).. Link to comment
Lisii Posted November 15, 2017 Author Share Posted November 15, 2017 We are going to look at kittens this afternoon - that is all exciting! Link to comment
Lisii Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 Welcome ** Maggie ** [img] by Lisii, on Flickr - with youngest son. Link to comment
Lisii Posted November 23, 2017 Author Share Posted November 23, 2017 Thanks Ladies she is very special. I have nothing to tell - my journal must be pretty boring of the late. I went to the west coast last weekend with my boys, sister and nieces. It was awesome. We stayed in an old Train Caboose and lived as vegans for the weekend - oh so lovely! (couple of photo's in the Landscape thread). That's it really. The sale of where I work hasn't gone through - looks like it will be 1 Feb instead - sigh, a little deflating as I was looking forward to getting my redundancy/holiday pay prior to Christmas! lol... all about zee money ;-) My big boy turns 16 next week, he has his final exams today and will be on holiday until school starts back at the end of Jan. I'm so excited for him, it's a wonderful age for him - he's and his brother are so wonderful ( not perfect - but perfect for me ) Big Boy has decided to go for his Learners drivers licence the day after his birthday (it's from 16yrs here), I have somehow managed to talk to him into getting a Vespa or Scooter, rather than a car (cheaper with insurance, gas, everything really) - yikes! - but yay, I can't wait to have my own personal driver!. He's claimed little Kitten Maggie as his own, it's so cute watching a 6ft3" hefferlump cradling a teeny wee 4 week kitty at the Vets... The Vet nurses were gaga over him - lol He isn't 16 yet! Little big Boy is doing really well at school and had mock exams this week. He's also started taking more interest in what he eats - being more mindful to processed foods, and yay to him keeping up with his exercises! (he was born with hardly any muscle formation on his glutes, so we are working really hard to build them up - it's caused him to be pigeon toed & knock knee'd ) . Sadly he put on a lot of weight last year and withdrew with bullying - he's been so strong this year, I'm so proud. That's it. I'm still finding me. Very content in myself but would like to do more for others - I wont do study until I find out what is happening with my job, but would like to do some volunteering in the meantime. I was in my element when I did event planning, would like to do something similar but for charities rather than private org's. Being in a small town doesn't offer a huge selection - maybe I should work for civil defense (lol - entertaining the doomsdayers) - I really have no idea... but this is what my journey is about - finding me! Sorry I'm boring x Link to comment
Lisii Posted November 24, 2017 Author Share Posted November 24, 2017 Thought I'd share a conversation with my almost 16 yr old son (I was on Facebook) Him: Ewwww who's that? Me: it's "Beth", you know her Him : Why the hell do girls think using a filter looks good - that doesn't even look like her, it's not natural annnnd She looks way better in person. Me: It's just a fad, don't swear. Him: Promise me you'll never do that, it's so obvious. Me: ! (a little proud that he likes the natural look over fake) Sadly, I have noticed more and more how filters are being used and tagged "this is me - no filter" when it's obviously filters as the eyelashes/liner don't line up with the eyes and the eye size isn't humanly possible. Not wanting to start an argument, as I have played around with filters on myself/selfies a couple of times - (of course I'm so perfect there was no difference... haha ;-) nahhhhh ), ... It's kinda saddened me to thinking that some people (mostly women) are using this to hide behind - do they not know that we see them at work/socially etc in their beautiful human flawed form. No one is perfect, and it's sad that we (women especially) feel we need to hide our flaws/wrinkles, eye shapes and have to slim our faces, blurr and eventone ourselves on social media. Oh well, I have wrinkles from laughter and freckles from living, and they are staying along with my scars from life for the world to see . Not meant to offend, just an observation and my thoughts only. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 Oh well, I have wrinkles from laughter and freckles from living, and they are staying along with my scars from life for the world to see . That's how I feel about it. As I get older, I have less patience for make up. I've never worn tons of it, but I did love dolling myself up to go out. Now, I can hardly be bothered. I hate the feel of it on my skin. If the world had a problem with me because I don't hide my ugly mug, I'm prepared to live with that. LOL. I haven't been on Facebook since 2013, and was never on Instagram or Twitter. Boy, do I NOT miss all of this false beautifying/posturing crap! Link to comment
Lisii Posted November 26, 2017 Author Share Posted November 26, 2017 That's how I feel about it. As I get older, I have less patience for make up. I've never worn tons of it, but I did love dolling myself up to go out. Now, I can hardly be bothered. I hate the feel of it on my skin. If the world had a problem with me because I don't hide my ugly mug, I'm prepared to live with that. LOL. I haven't been on Facebook since 2013, and was never on Instagram or Twitter. Boy, do I NOT miss all of this false beautifying/posturing crap! I'm like you Jibralta, just a little mascara and I'm done. - I use to wear make up everyday to work, but now as there is only 3 of us in the office and no one drops in I don't bother Link to comment
Lisii Posted December 10, 2017 Author Share Posted December 10, 2017 Still the quiet life of Lisii - loving it. One of my closest friends has broken up with his gf, they were such a lovely couple, I'm kinda sad that they couldn't make it work. He's coming over for dinner tonight for a bit of distraction. Love is stink. My gf's ex bf contacted me over the weekend trying to woo me, took me 3 goes to tell him I'm not interested, I think people think it's just a joke that I'm out of the dating pool. My last message to him was, "please stop trying, I'm not deferring from my goal, I need to find 'Lisii' again. - he replied that he should stop jumping into relationships without standing back and breathing. Very interesting just watching others. I feel very grown up - Bahaha.. kindof I went to a Mind & Spirit expo last Sunday, had my cards read and my Reiki done - both ladies had the same name as me - This always happens - names in 3's. The cards said that I was at a butterfly stage in life, that I've finally at the point of my life where my full potential will come out (2018 year)... Everything the lady said was correct. The next day I had a phone call saying I had won a free 1hr reading with the clairvoyant... she said the same thing that I have come to a period where everything will flow more for me, and a lot more... somethings were out, but there were a few things I raised my eyebrows too. - Interesting.... a lot is taken with a grain of salt. Two more weeks until Christmas holidays, boys leave after Christmas to spend a month with their dad - As much as I love them it is very much a "Yay Me time!!!" - the house needs a lot of love, cleaning and decluttering and so do I! - it's been a long year without a break, have a few friends that are travelling who are popping in, very excited! Happy and relaxed Lisii. Link to comment
Lisii Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 ****Happy New Year everyone! **** Wow it's 2018! and I've made it, with no dramas! - well we are only 4 days in... haha, but still no drama's I had a wonderful quiet Christmas with my parents and niece (and of course my boys) the boys and I made up a few games to play to make the day go fast (My parents are old and the conversation is always the same...) Even my mum was laughing uncontrolably with one of the games! That my dear friend's - is success! (making mum laugh) Boys are with their dad and I have decluttered their rooms (I had their permission - well in actual truth, they didn't care and are relieved that they didn't have to do it...) - ewwwwww what I found gross glad for disinfectant! I had two friends turn up unexpectedly to celebrate the new year, which was nice as I was hermiting myself and was resigned to welcoming it in alone. I feel very much at peace, it's been a long time coming. Had a big giggle yesterday as my gf's ex who was trying to woo me at the beginning of December, met a lady a week later and now they are engaged! :-D , and have to laugh more ... she's a neighbour of mine (this is funny as he lives 1.5 hrs away in another town) life is strange - I'm not to judge, they both sound happy (I drove past them and all their kids yesterday on the way to town - they were very lovey dovey, so happy for them! - but wow - 3 weeks no foundation...! cheers to them.) My gf from school times is with me atm, I have to say, I'm becoming more and more of an introvert... I can't cope with the constant natter, it's exhausting! She's very lovely, but constantly going of topic/tangents when talking a hundred miles an hour! I'm finding it hard to keep up (omg I'm talking about the old me!)- I just want to chill in my space.. I've decided to say no to any more visitors once she leaves on Saturday, I need to recharge and smudge my house! Maggie the kitten is tearing up the house, she's very cute and a handful! I will post more photo's another day. I meet up with my new employer next week, will be going over my contract - exciting, annnnd we will be moving into offices in the City! which is huge (and only a couple of minutes drive from home), it will be so nice to get dressed up for work again (currently working at my deceased employers home which has the offices attached), he's indicated a lot of project work for me, I am excited to say the least! hopefully I will be super busy! Lisii is happy, relaxed and feeling good about 2018 and what excitement it will bring. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 You sound good, Lisii HNY! Still waiting for more Maggie pictures :) Link to comment
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