Pregnant BPD ex

[Hermes]

Exactly, Bolt.

 

"BPD isn't bipolar.

 

"BPD is Borderline Personality Disorder. A completely different personality disorder."

 

Randi Kreger may be wrong too, of course.....

 

The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder

New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells

 

By Randi Kreger

[Ms Darcy]

She was diagnosed with something similar to bipolar, and was on a variety prescription drugs. Let me rephrase it to suit your liking. I believe she is BPD due to my investigation into what went wrong in our relationship. She fits EVERY part of the condition to a T. I know I'm not perfect, and there is obviously something wrong with me to have let this happen. But, I have contacted one of her ex bf's that she has a 12yo with, and he said that she has always been going through this cycle of abuse and promiscuity!

 

I think your conflation between bipolar and BPD shows that East4's point was very valid and diagnosing an ex is unwise.

 

The bigger issue is why were you attracted to someone who was obviously troubled? That means you need to look inward.

[Realitynut]

His description of her fits BPD more closely than Bi-Polar. Many Drs. don't diagnose correctly either!

[ThatwasThen]

Thanks Pixels! Ya, I should have known better. I am already putting together a strategy for custody if and when it comes to that!

What makes you think that you are any more capable of looking after your current child or the new one for that matter? You have been subjecting your child to your and her dysfunctional abuse and that in itself is emotional abusing your own daughter and her children as well. Any man that had a lick of good sense and had any self-respect would have left his woman the first time she got physical and emotionally abusive. They certainly wouldn't have another baby with her making you baby-daddy No. 5.

 

Get yourself to a therapist proficient in codependency and white knight syndrome and work on your issues without having anything further with this woman. Perhaps if you're in therapy to help you with what ails you, a judge may consider giving you custody.

 

If there was such a thing as forced sterility, your BPD girlfriend would make a great candidate.

[boltnrun]

You'd be surprised what some people are willing to put up with when they're getting "great sex".

 

But when an orgasm takes priority over the well-being of your child...it's a problem.

 

Please only contact her regarding the child on the way. And please start therapy (for yourself and your child) asap.

 

I know I've repeated the therapy thing several times, but it's of utmost importance for you to figure out why you'd make such bad decisions just because this woman got you off.

[Josephrl82]

You'd be surprised what some people are willing to put up with when they're getting "great sex".

 

But when an orgasm takes priority over the well-being of your child...it's a problem.

 

Please only contact her regarding the child on the way. And please start therapy (for yourself and your child) asap.

 

I know I've repeated the therapy thing several times, but it's of utmost importance for you to figure out why you'd make such bad decisions just because this woman got you off.

I was seeing a counselor for a while, but haven't been in weeks. I have an appointment tomorrow though. I will also look into getting my daughter into talk as well.

[Josephrl82]

I had been with my girlfriend for a year. The first 5 months were heaven, with only two incidents that I should have recognized as abnormal. The first was when she asked me if I still loved my ex wife. I answered with "I guess so. To the extent that she is the mother of my child." She held those words against me for months as if I confessed my undying romantic love for my ex wife. The next episode was when my ex girlfriend called me out of the blue. I answered when I guess I shouldn't have, but I did not lead her on and told her that I was in a relationship.

She has 4 children with 4 different fathers. I was somewhat disgusted by this at first, but chalked it up to victim of circumstance. I loved and treated her kids tje very same as I do my own daughter. Our children had to witness all of the arguments and physical abuse!

We moved in together after just 4 months, but it only lasted 3 months before she moved back out. After that first break up, we were off and on for the last 5 months. As time went on the splits became more frequent, and longer. The jealousy and accusations were off the charts! I could not be left alone in tje same room with my phone! I even want as far as to take a lie detector teat to prove that I was faithful. Did me no good! She was extremely physically abusive! Biting, scratching, kicking in the genitals, slapping, you name it! It started to have an effect on my job always showing up wounded and mentally distraught!

We had always talked about marriage and in desperation I went through with proposing this last Christmas. We planned on having a child and she got off birth control and we ended up pregnant in February!

Every time we would split she would immediately talk to other guys including ex boyfriends. She would send me screen shots of their conversations that read some really disturbing things about pretending to make the baby together that was already inside her. She would tell me that she slept with guys, just to say she was lying just to hurt me! She would call me names and say I'm ugly and boring just to hurt me!

I finally had enough and demanded that she apologized for everything she has done to me or I was done! She refused and just called me more names, beat me up and left. We talked for the next couple days, but didn't get anywhere but more guys, threats, and screenshots. I told her to leave me alone and she said "Happily!" Less than a week later she had a guy stay the weekend at her house! This was just days ago!

I'm in bad shape! I can't sleep! I can't eat! And I just don't fking know where to go or what to think at this point!

 

So Monday she had a dr appointment. She text me before the appointment to thank me for not canceling her auto insurance, and to tell me that she thinks the appointment will go well. Then Tuesday she sent me the sonogram pics and, a Youtube link to the Garth Brooks song "The Dance." I thanked her for the pics, and told her that there was no coming back after what she has done with her new guy!

I just can't help but wonder if she sent me that song hoping it would strike a chord and get me to take her back or if it was a kind of final goodbye and good luck gesture.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent. She sounds sentimental about having (if it's your) baby. Yeah, ignore the schmaltz and stay on course with the business at hand. Do you think she it trying to convince you it's yours by "sharing" so you help her out financially right now?

I thanked her for the pics, and told her that there was no coming back after what she has done with her new guy!

[Josephrl82]

I don't think that is her motivation behind sharing, because she knows that I am completely going about it like it is mine. I feel like that, combined with the song link, is a tactic to get me to feel sorry for her and beg for her back. Even though she is the one that left me, and was with another guy just days later!

[Wiseman2]

Yep, drama queens love the stage.

I feel like that, combined with the song link, is a tactic to get me to feel sorry for her and beg for her back.

[jjkk]

I don't think that is her motivation behind sharing, because she knows that I am completely going about it like it is mine. I feel like that, combined with the song link, is a tactic to get me to feel sorry for her and beg for her back. Even though she is the one that left me, and was with another guy just days later!

 

Please get a DNA test to see if the baby is actually yours before you take responsibility.

[boltnrun]

She senses you slipping away so she's trying to make sure you are sitting around waiting for her to be nice to you again.

 

People like that HATE to see any of "their" people leave them. Funny, they're allowed to treat others horribly and come and go as they please and do whatever they want with whomever they want, but if any of the people they've used and manipulated dare to try to move on without them they act like they've been betrayed and will howl about how mean and unfair you're being.

 

My ex treated me horribly and cheated constantly, but if it seemed like I was becoming distant he'd all the sudden come at me with a "I love you!!!" and would ask me why I was doing this to him. He could even summon up tears.

 

She is selfish. Engage with her only about the child. And do NOT sleep with her again!

[Realitynut]

Look it up...it's called 'hoovering'.....as in the vacuum cleaner. If you try to escape....they try to 'suck' you back in....and they're very good at it. BPD is a spectrum disorder. I'm on the very high-end functioning....and I have done LOTS of reading up on it!!!

[Josephrl82]

I think you're exactly right! She feels me disconnecting, and wants to pull me in a little closer, so she can keep me at arms length just incase things don't pan out with her and her new guy!

[fred2016]

That's the sum of it Pixels

 

" You put your d**k in crazy... Never... NEVER... Put your d**k in crazy... This is a perfect example of that rule..."

 

OP. You remark:

 

"in desperation I went through with proposing this last Christmas.."

 

Why would you even want to be with, let alone marry someone so deranged.

 

I asked mine to marry me because I believed stability and security would help her. I also genuinely and deeply loved her. I know with help she could be a wonderful wife and mother and I had hoped marrying me would be the reason she went for that help. I was wrong, before we married she panicked, devalued me, cheated, got pregnant, and she didn’t go for help - the usual cycle has started all over again for her but I am now safely out of the loop. I sometimes wish I had still married her to see if it made a difference but in my heart I know it wouldn’t have so I had a lucky escape.

[Naieve Sucker]

Bump: Where did this go?How did this turn out?

 

Joseph - I am experiencing the same thing. "I'm on birth-control, and I will have an abortion, I don't want children, just amazing sex now fill me up..." 8 months intto this sexual relationship... "oh by the way I am pregnant and I am not capable of having an abortion... we should just make a happy family now..." I reply "Um, no. Deuces!"

 

The sex was live porn and best ever had... all the things were accomplished in these sessions... we had a relationship... now I leave her and her four children wit 3 other men behind waiting for a court ordered child support demand. I will test paternity, I will be a good father. but until that is proven I am out!

 

 

Where are you Joe?!? How did yours turn out?

 

 

 

[Mikey383]

Heh heh Bolt.

 

Not sure though if we have a tendency to swing, lethally, from chandeliers, à la "War of the Roses"

 

I had one... I swear she was either an EX porn star or she was trained at the Circus.... hahaha