So what's up with a certain dating site that starts with M...

[MatchMystified]

So I recently joined Match.com and am very disappointed to see the quality of men who viewed my profile. I'm a girl-next-door type pretty and some of the men who viewed my profile were creepy and unattractive. Is this a reflection on me? Is there a new standard in dating where wholesome, girl-next-door types must date the ugly guys? I'm just feeling bummed about the whole experience....

 

-Match mystified

[Gloworm]

Probably your best bet is to find someone in your daily life or through friends.

[Snny]

The better M word is Meetup.com... Not Match. Try that!

[judithhz]

Well, this is the my impression about Match, too. And I won't subscribe it anymore.

But I don't think we shall judge too much. Some people may be ugly, creepy-looking, not decent or uneducated. They may come to look through your profile, 'like' your photo, 'wink' at you, add you to their fav. They paid and they deserve all the rights to do this. We are equal on this website. But no one says you must date them.

At first I felt awful when some men about my father's age message me, or when getting message like "hey beautiful" from some creep-looking guys. I remember my mom told me: It is always some kindness when people show interest. If you think you deserve better, just show your kindness by not responding to theirs.

[Absolution87]

Don't worry about who viewed your profile. Seek out the men on the site(s) who are appealing to you and then message them first. You might be surprised to learn how few messages (if any at all) they receive from other women.

[notalady]

It's a reflection of the fact that men like good looking women and they will look through a lot, if not all women's profiles. I never paid attention to who views my profile, only those who messaged me.

[Tanzi]

I was very disappointed with Match.com. Bearing in mind they are supposed to match you up with likewise people, I found they were anything but ... and although this may sound rather conceited, it made me rather depressed about myself. Not only in regards to the people I was matched with but with those who messaged me. I didn't stay on for long. Still, I'm 3 years single now so perhaps I really do need to get off my high horse.

[Movingforward3]

I think each dating site is different depending upon which part of the country you are living in. Now, I will say this round on dating sites seems more meat market and shallow than a few years ago.

I have had success on PoF and Okay Cupid. I haven't had any success on match and eharmony.

I have know others to have success with the latter. My cousin who lives in Indianapolis, hasn't had success with any to attract the men she is looking for and she is ready to give up. Of course, she teases me saying she has higher standards and I tell her she is to picky and all good looking ladies have a shot with me

It does take effort to find a match regardless which site you pick. You have to have be a solid profile, great pics, and be ready to have a connecting conversation at a moments noticed or miss your chance.

It is all what you put into it!

[Sportster2005]

The problem usually isn't other things or people. If you're not getting the results you want, don't blame Match.

[j.man]

Yup. I see a lot of OLDers blaming the tool and not the user. OLD isn't for everyone, and if someone you don't find attractive having the audacity to look at your profile is enough to shatter your self-confidence, that's not Match's problem.

[Ms Darcy]

So I recently joined Match.com and am very disappointed to see the quality of men who viewed my profile. I'm a girl-next-door type pretty and some of the men who viewed my profile were creepy and unattractive. Is this a reflection on me? Is there a new standard in dating where wholesome, girl-next-door types must date the ugly guys? I'm just feeling bummed about the whole experience....

 

-Match mystified

 

Can you tell me what "wholesome, girl-next-door" type means? And how were the men creepy and unattractive?

[MatchMystified]

Girl next door for me...I'm tall, think Jenn Aniston hair with brown eyes. I'm kind, sweet, funny, personable, lots of good things and maybe it's difficult to translate those things on a match profile.

 

I'm a pretty girl and IRL I get attention. My pictures are very appealing and so is my profile...I'm not looking for Mr. Awesome, but someone whose face is not covered in pimples or wearing a hoodie during pictures. It's like some of these guys didn't put any thought into their pictures or profile.

 

Do I need to look sl**tty or something?

[MatchMystified]

Well, this is the my impression about Match, too. And I won't subscribe it anymore.

But I don't think we shall judge too much. Some people may be ugly, creepy-looking, not decent or uneducated. They may come to look through your profile, 'like' your photo, 'wink' at you, add you to their fav. They paid and they deserve all the rights to do this. We are equal on this website. But no one says you must date them.

At first I felt awful when some men about my father's age message me, or when getting message like "hey beautiful" from some creep-looking guys. I remember my mom told me: It is always some kindness when people show interest. If you think you deserve better, just show your kindness by not responding to theirs.

 

Thank you...I like your insight.

[MatchMystified]

Don't worry about who viewed your profile. Seek out the men on the site(s) who are appealing to you and then message them first. You might be surprised to learn how few messages (if any at all) they receive from other women.

 

Great idea...Thank you.

[Ms Darcy]

Girl next door for me...I'm tall, think Jenn Aniston hair with brown eyes. I'm kind, sweet, funny, personable, lots of good things and maybe it's difficult to translate those things on a match profile.

 

I'm a pretty girl and IRL I get attention. My pictures are very appealing and so is my profile...I'm not looking for Mr. Awesome, but someone whose face is not covered in pimples or wearing a hoodie during pictures. It's like some of these guys didn't put any thought into their pictures or profile.

 

Do I need to look sl**tty or something?

 

Since you have a sense of what you are looking for, why not focus on searching for men on match that you would be interested in and reaching out to them.

[TMifune]

I'm a pretty girl and IRL I get attention. My pictures are very appealing and so is my profile...I'm not looking for Mr. Awesome, but someone whose face is not covered in pimples or wearing a hoodie during pictures. It's like some of these guys didn't put any thought into their pictures or profile.

 

So those same guys staring at you in a public place is cool, but when they view your profile online it's upsetting somehow? Why not date someone who's paying attention to you IRL if you get that much attention?

 

Is it possible you actually prefer not to meet someone, and complaining about the quality of available men provides you a convenient excuse?

[Vastaux]

You are judging me based on your own lack of empathy and objectivity.

 

You completely misunderstood the point of my post. I am really disappointed with a PAID dating site's search results. That's all. Don't judge me because I'm a paying customer and I'm disappointed with the results.

No I haven't, you are quite clear in what you are complaining about.

 

Again, you're complaining that ugly guys are on a paid website... So because you give them money they should filter out all the uggos? No.

 

It's how you've chosen to word your complaint that I have issue with. If youd of said "I'm not getting replies on match or there's barely anyone in my vicinity" id get that

 

But no, you complained about the quality of guys messaging you,, do match.com not realise how much Better you are than them?!!!!!

 

Maybe stop waiting for guys to come to you and filter out the undesirables by searching yourself for someone who meets your high standards.

 

Anyway, I'm going to end my part in this discussion there, I feel I've made my point.

 

Good luck with the search.

[lostandhurt]

Online dating takes practice, thick skin and practice to get out of it what you want.

 

When less attractive men look your way in real life how does that make you feel?

 

When I was doing online dating I looked at a lot of profiles and had a fair amount of women looking at my profile. Some were out of my league and others looked nice but when I looked at their profile it just didn't do it for me so I moved on.

 

Do a search for the age range you want and anything else you are looking for and then send out some messages to guys you are interested in. Why wait for something to happen when you can have control over your own future.

 

If you read your words as someone that doesn't know you I think you would see that your words looked like "I am really pretty and since only ugly guys have looked at my profile Match must only have ugly guys on it" It reads like you are either butt hurt that you haven't received attention from attractive men or that you are to good for anyone that has viewed your profile.

 

Lost

[tiredofvampires]

So I recently joined Match.com and am very disappointed to see the quality of men who viewed my profile. I'm a girl-next-door type pretty and some of the men who viewed my profile were creepy and unattractive. Is this a reflection on me? Is there a new standard in dating where wholesome, girl-next-door types must date the ugly guys? I'm just feeling bummed about the whole experience....

 

-Match mystified

 

No, it's an ancient "standard" actually. Since the days before you were born, lo, before computers were invented, lo, before the invention of agriculture, men with acne, shabby garments, and creepy gazes have been looking at beautiful young women. Welcome to the history of mankind.

 

The only difference now is that we have a technology where their faces are tagged and sent to you so you know who looked at you that way.

 

So no, it's not a "trend", and Match.com doesn't screen people for a dress code and clear skin. Anyone who pays is entitled to look at anyone else. Nothing's changed in "dating" -- beautiful young women don't date the men they don't find attractive. Same as ever. (Actually, now you have more choice -- used to be, you'd be forced to marry such men if your families arranged it. All you do now is go on to the next profile page.)

 

By the way, people who have pimples ought to get out and have a shot at dating, too. (And I don't think having pimples would deter them from looking at "sl***ty" women. No connection there. So no, that wouldn't save you.)

 

Anyway. I don't personally use Match because of the crowd overall not being my thing. I still have a lingering subscription, but it feels like a sea of monotony.

[SoulTaker]

So I recently joined Match.com and am very disappointed to see the quality of men who viewed my profile. I'm a girl-next-door type pretty and some of the men who viewed my profile were creepy and unattractive. Is this a reflection on me? Is there a new standard in dating where wholesome, girl-next-door types must date the ugly guys? I'm just feeling bummed about the whole experience....-Match mystified

 

MM, this isn't a 100 meter sprint, but more of a mile run. You say that you've just recently joined, expecting instant results. Let the whole subscription play itself out. When I was on Match, there were some months when there were no women I was interested in, and then a couple of months later, there were 5-6 women who I was interested in.

 

As an attractive woman on the site, you have the good fortune of just checking your emails, and filtering out those that you're not interested in. It is not a reflection on you, but the way online dating works.

 

It only takes a couple of seconds to read and discard an email from someone you don't like. At least with Match, people have to pay in order to contact you.