Boyfriend vs Husband Material

[Dougie_D]

I'm wondering if women decide if a man is either boyfriend material or husband material. Is there a difference at all?

[Batya33]

I only dated men who I saw the long term with -marriage and family. For those infrequent times that I only wanted to date casually I would not be concerned if the man wanted marriage or children or whether we had compatible career/ambition related goals.

[shellyf62]

I can only date someone I could see a long term thing relationship with (whether or not that leads to marriage) . I am not into casual dating at all.

[Dottieflanogon]

I consider men who are husband material if I can see a future with him-Moreover, he should have the qualities that I look for in man such as honesty, trustworthy, loyal, faithful, caring, affectionate and shares similar interests.

[Dougie_D]

So most women just want husband material? And it's just based if the woman sees him as long term?

But are there certain qualities/ or even status that puts a guy out of the husband material category?

Like I feel I'm more boyfriend material than husband material. I don't have a house, career, relationship experience, etc... I'm about to be 35 too. Or does none of that matter.. Especially for a guy my age? I don't mind if a girl doesn't look at me as husband material.. But I feel most of my age group wants that.

[thejigsup]

Boyfriend: Hot, tall, fun to be with, good in bed, listens to good music, makes enough money for us to have fun dates.

 

Husband: Intelligent, stable, good career, good in bed, funny, secure in his future and my place in it, non-smoker, non-drinker, loves his job and is devoted to it.

[Helpexpressme]

I reckon there is no difference.

 

Boyfriends become husbands. If a girl is "dating" her boyfriend and he suddenly proposes, then he becomes a husband.

 

What's the difference?

[Batya33]

So most women just want husband material? And it's just based if the woman sees him as long term?

But are there certain qualities/ or even status that puts a guy out of the husband material category?

Like I feel I'm more boyfriend material than husband material. I don't have a house, career, relationship experience, etc... I'm about to be 35 too. Or does none of that matter.. Especially for a guy my age? I don't mind if a girl doesn't look at me as husband material.. But I feel most of my age group wants that.

 

I wouldn't say most - some people are looking for marriage or a relationship akin to marriage, others are looking for a long term relationship where they are not going to have children or combine finances, some people enjoy casual dating, etc. Some people looking for marriage are unconcerned about their partner's financial stability -perhaps they have their own income/assets and don't care what their partner has, or a host of other reasons. Certainly people in their 30s are more likely to want marriage than people in their teens or 60s, all else equal.

[Dougie_D]

I reckon there is no difference.

 

Boyfriends become husbands. If a girl is "dating" her boyfriend and he suddenly proposes, then he becomes a husband.

 

What's the difference?

Not all women say "yes"

[tiredofvampires]

It depends what stage of life you're in, what stage of the relationship you're in, and whether you're someone who is interested in getting married.

[mhowe]

Not all women want husbands.

 

I wouldn't dat a man I didn't trust.

I wouldn't date a man without a job or ambition.

I wouldn't date a man without a sense of humor.

I wouldn't date a man who wasn't great in the sack.

I wouldn't date a man without confidence

I wouldn't date a man who didn't share my values.

 

And it stands to reason that if I wouldn't date a guy who didn't meet all of those criteria, I sure as hell wouldn't marry one.

[thejigsup]

I reckon there is no difference.

 

Boyfriends become husbands. If a girl is "dating" her boyfriend and he suddenly proposes, then he becomes a husband.

 

What's the difference?

 

That's funny! BIG difference. Some men you just want arm candy and a good lover. He looks good on your arm (yes, we do that, too, sometimes) and keeps you happy in bed. You do NOT encourage long term with these types, never. Husband material, we just plain treat them better. We love them for who they are and how they treat us outside the bedroom, though we like that as well, and we introduce them to our families. We will give a blow-by-blow to our girlfriends when we are just having fun with a guy. When we are serious, we are very tight-lipped.

[Helpexpressme]

That's funny! BIG difference. Some men you just want arm candy and a good lover. He looks good on your arm (yes, we do that, too, sometimes) and keeps you happy in bed. You do NOT encourage long term with these types, never. Husband material, we just plain treat them better. We love them for who they are and how they treat us outside the bedroom, though we like that as well, and we introduce them to our families. We will give a blow-by-blow to our girlfriends when we are just having fun with a guy. When we are serious, we are very tight-lipped.

 

That's your opinion. Listen Dougie, there is no difference.

[Snny]

A husband needs to bring something to the table to be considered a lifelong partner- more than just good looks and great sex. Marriages take more commitment. They rely on someone being financially secured, sharing compatible long term goals/beliefs, and separating work and personal life with your partner.

[itsallgrand]

Do you want a wife? Or a serious relationship that is close to an equivalent to that degree of commitment?

 

There are people looking for all kinds of things. What do you want?

[siegfri333]

A husband is a social trophy.

 

A boyfriend is for companionship only.

[dave_1966]

A husband is someone who is financially worth divorcing.

[tiredofvampires]

For the record, though I've never been married (though I do want to be, for symbolic reasons), I've never wanted something from a husband that I didn't want from a boyfriend. I've never treated a boyfriend in a way I wouldn't treat a husband, I do not think of either as a "statement" to be made, and I've never thought of a boyfriend as fun&sex but a husband as stability&money. Or any other dichotomy of "purposes".

 

A husband is a boyfriend I want for life.

[Dougie_D]

Do you want a wife? Or a serious relationship that is close to an equivalent to that degree of commitment?

 

There are people looking for all kinds of things. What do you want?

 

I want a sexual partner/relationship. I don't want to "be with a girl" and not have sex at least twice a week. I've never been in a relationship. So I can't even think about marriage with someone, until I least feel comfortable knowing she's the only person I'll be with the rest of my life.

[Fudgie]

Have you considered getting into a FWB type of situation?

[Batya33]

Have you considered getting into a FWB type of situation?

 

I doubt that's a real possibility unless his close female friend is comfortable with being thought of as a "girl" and with the other negative generalizations the OP seems to advance. Perhaps a sexual arrangement.

[Batya33]

I want a sexual partner/relationship. I don't want to "be with a girl" and not have sex at least twice a week. I've never been in a relationship. So I can't even think about marriage with someone, until I least feel comfortable knowing she's the only person I'll be with the rest of my life.

 

So, if she is not feeling well/not in the mood/ then the priority of "at least twice a week" would take precedence over being in a relationship?

[Fudgie]

I doubt that's a real possibility unless his close female friend is comfortable with being thought of as a "girl" and with the other negative generalizations the OP seems to advance. Perhaps a sexual arrangement.

 

I thought FWB was a sexual arrangement. Or at least, that's what it can mean colloquially. People just showing up to have sex and then leaving. It may or may not involve actual friendship.

[Batya33]

I thought FWB was a sexual arrangement. Or at least, that's what it can mean colloquially. People just showing up to have sex and then leaving. It may or may not involve actual friendship.

 

I think FWB to describe a sex partner is a rather silly euphemism and tells me that the people involved most likely are not all that comfortable with it if they have to refer to it in that way. Not just semantics to me so I can't go along with using it in that way. There are people who are close friends and decide to be intimate when they're both in the mood and they also have a true friendship.

[DoF]

If a woman hasn't decided that yet, she is NOT to be dated! Stay away.