loveconquerer Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 If you break up from a relationship or divorce from a marriage, do you always have a sweet spot or a special place in your heart for that ex? Do you always love them to some degree? And if not, was it really ever love to begin with? For example, recently this couple that rents out my parent's basement split. They were a young couple. He abused her and they broke it off. But they had a kid together. She said she "fell out of love for him and has for a long time now". When I asked her if she still loved him to some degree, she said she "felt indifferent".
Blue_Skirt Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I could not care less about my last ex, so yeah your question got me thinking. Did I really every truly love him? Not sure. I still have good contact with my first ex and his family and I still love him but in a different way. He feels more like a brother to me now.
kbbcoop77 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 If someone hurts you bad enough you can definitely fall out of love. After my wife dumped me after 24 years I was almost destroyed and loved her immensely blah blah but now after almost 2 years I don't love her at all. Feelings fade if they're not stoked. But I did absolutely love her at one time. Really hurt when she left.
Clinton Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I certainly don't love my ex wife, so no, you don't always care for them in some form.
mhowe Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 No, you don't love them forever. It doesn't mean you didn't once love them.
greta96 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I don't have any love left for any of my exes, so my answer is NO, just because you loved them at some point it doesn't mean you'll always love them in some way.
ParisPaulette Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Nothing but indifference to every past love, ex-husband or even guys I dated. I don't even feel anything about my last ex or my abusive first boyfriend although they both earned my disgust and heavy dislike for a time. Once I'm done and over it, I am over them forevermore. The idea of sex with any of them is actually almost repulsive, even the ones I am not upset with or didn't have bad breakups with. When I'm done, I'm done.
loveconquerer Posted November 18, 2015 Author Posted November 18, 2015 I don't have any love left for any of my exes, so my answer is NO, just because you loved them at some point it doesn't mean you'll always love them in some way. You don't have anything even for your first?
reinventmyself Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Speaking for myself, each experience has been different. I think it depends on the nature of the relationship and it's challenges. I still have loving feelings for some. Even ones that were really bad had redeeming some qualities. I think fondly of those things. Some I feel indifferent about and some I particularly don't care for one bit and might cross the street if I saw them. I don't think there is a one size fits all answer for this question.
greta96 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 You don't have anything even for your first? Oh gosh no! Sometimes I do ask myself what on earth did I see in him to date him for 2 years, but I don't think that counts lol
mhowe Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 You don't have anything even for your first? This is like your 20th thread on the same issue. Your first love is largely irrelevant.
loveconquerer Posted November 18, 2015 Author Posted November 18, 2015 No, you don't love them forever. It doesn't mean you didn't once love them. Not even your first? Even you said your first was special on another post.
loveconquerer Posted November 18, 2015 Author Posted November 18, 2015 This is like your 20th thread on the same issue. Your first love is largely irrelevant. I am not talking about the first. I am talking about ALL of them
Clarisse Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 My first boyfriend was an abusive psychopath. I have no fond memories of him, let alone love. I am completely indifferent to the other men I have loved in my life, including my ex husband. OP, do you think that you're stuck on this issue because it keepa you from pursuing a relationship and, thus, avoid rejection?
mhowe Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 You don't have anything even for your first? Really....then what is this?
loveconquerer Posted November 18, 2015 Author Posted November 18, 2015 Really....then what is this? I am talking about everyone you loved. Those you had kids with and those you married even.
reinventmyself Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I am talking about everyone you loved. Those you had kids with and those you married even. That one? . .no, no feelings good, bad or otherwise. Today he's an aquaitnance and the father of my children. That's it. Nothing more. My understanding is that having even negative feelings towards someone suggests an attachment at some level. We aren't typically effected by those we are completely detached from. Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk
Seraphim Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 My mother has no feelings for my dad other than pity.
melancholy123 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I have no love or good feelings for my ex husband. We married when I was just 19 (yup stupid thing to do) and I left just after I turned 23. It took a few years but I figured out I never did really love him and by the time I left, I abhorred him. I'm glad I've never seen him since as I have no desire to.
loveconquerer Posted November 18, 2015 Author Posted November 18, 2015 I have no love or good feelings for my ex husband. We married when I was just 19 (yup stupid thing to do) and I left just after I turned 23. It took a few years but I figured out I never did really love him and by the time I left, I abhorred him. I'm glad I've never seen him since as I have no desire to. What about your first, or any other guy other than your ex?
redswim30 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I too feel indifferent about my ex-husband. I don't care enough about him to feel anything, certainly not love. I thought I loved him at the time. I did in my own way, was I deeply in love? Not sure.
Clinton Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 What about your first, or any other guy other than your ex? Why so obsessed with this? It doesnt matter how an ex feels about you. Over is over. Just move on.
reinventmyself Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 What about your first, or any other guy other than your ex? Nothing. . . Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk
reinventmyself Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 What is it you're looking for? Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk
JustWishing Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 No, you don't love them forever. It doesn't mean you didn't once love them. That is true and also it is different for each relationship. Sometimes you don't care at all when you see them again. Sometimes you think of that one person for years, but you don't love them. It is more the curiosity of what happened to that person way down the road. Sometimes love turns into friendship and you sincerely care for that persons well being and keep in contact. Sometimes you still care for that person and when you see them again after years and years....you still love them. There is no definite forever love. There are many possibilities, but your feelings change into something different. Each one of them is unique for yourself and depending which kind of relationship you had with this one person.
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