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Ended things with fwb,he seems upset or annoyed with me, which left me confused.

Mariah1988

By Mariah1988
in Breaking Up Advice

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Mariah1988 Newbie

Mariah1988

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Last weekend I decided I no longer needed fwb because I was too much into him and my gut feeling says he wasn't reciprocating so I messaged him and said I was attracted to him for long time and I felt mix feeling for him confusion of lust/infatuation/love and I cared for him very much but I longer wanted a relationship that won't become anything and that I need time to get over certain things then maybe we could be friends afterwards. I felt my feelings for him were unhealthy for me. He said he supported my decision and respects me very much and will be there for me as a friend. This week I noticed he blocked me and when I saw him outside he seemed very uncomfortable. I never asked him to commit to me, I always thought we were never suited as couple I knew this from the start and I told him.

As the sex was not great due to me been uncomfortable and my insecurities

He never express his feelings and I never pushed or asked how he felt about me because I thought he wasn't that into me. Few times he had hinted things like marriage and wanting to get marry. Last week when I text him I wanna to see him, he said "are you getting rid of me" I said no, because I felt he was not my man in the first place for me to get rid off....?

He is not conversationalist and I am very nervous around him so found hard to express myself. I am very shy and he is very outgoing confident guy but very moody manly type of guy, at the same time sensitive. Should I've asked him how he felt about the situation and is it too late? We had the conversation on messaging not face to face.

 

Thank you for reading, I appreciate any input

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Mariah1988 Newbie

Mariah1988

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He accepted your decision and then blocked you. He's fine with it.

 

He likely blocked you because he doesn't want you to see who he dates next, nor does he want the drama of you changing your mind.

 

We use only normal text messaging and whatsapp. He usually sends me whatsapp message and that's where he blocked me from. I hardly sent him whatsapp message. I use normal text messaging. My friend can see him when he is online and but I can't. I would never consider going back to him as fwb just as friends. I don't understand why he took the step to block, it seems bit extreme because it is not like I annoy him with constant messaging. I hardly message him and haven't done since we agreed. I only checked on Thursday because I kinda missed him and was reading nice messages he whatsupp me then I notice he has not been online for days. He would never put who's he is dating on whatsapp. I don't know if he blocked me from phone calling or not.

It does not make sense to me because I never been on his case or harassed him regardless of my feelings.

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Mariah1988 Newbie

Mariah1988

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He blocked you because you ended it, and he no longer wants anything to do with you.

 

It's nothing to do with him having feelings. You have stopped the sex so he no longer wishes to talk to you. It's good in a way, because now you know exactly where you stand.

 

Don't go back for seconds, nothing will change.

 

 

I don't know, something seem to piss him off and like i said the sex was not great so I don't understand why he couldn't just opt out to be friends. When I saw him I was with a girl friend and his face expression changed totally and he almost didn't return my greeting.

I accepted my feeling were one-sided , I didn't blame Pressure or guilt trip him so he has no reason not want to be friends with me. And we were friends before we got together.

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mhowe Proficient

mhowe

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I don't know, something seem to piss him off and like i said the sex was not great so I don't understand why he couldn't just opt out to be friends. When I saw him I was with a girl friend and his face expression changed totally and he almost didn't return my greeting.

I accepted my feeling were one-sided , I didn't blame Pressure or guilt trip him so he has no reason not want to be friends with me. And we were friends before we got together.

 

He was in it for the sex. He doesn't want to be friends. You can never be friends again after sex.

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Helpexpressme Rookie

Helpexpressme

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Sorry but you don't get it.

 

He has no feelings for you, once you ended his source of sex (even if it was bad, it's still sex), he no longer wants to talk or acknowledge you.

 

You are confusing this with him having feelings because he "talked" to you before and you were "friends". He used this tactic of "friends" to get you to have sex with him. You too have nothing. If this does not make sense to you, I don't know what will.

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Mariah1988 Newbie

Mariah1988

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Too late.. for what?

 

The sex wasn't great and you were uncomfortable with your insecurities?

 

None of this sounds good. Yes, best to just move along.. avoid getting any deeper than where you're at.

 

 

 

Too late to ask him; how he felt about the situation. I want him to know that I removed myself from the "relationship" to deal with my own issues and not because of him or anything he done wrong. I don't think I get any deeper. He never complaint about the sex, he only once mention that I needed relax and that I had no reason to feel insecure. I just feel I never enjoy it as much I would've liked and nor did he did.

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ThatwasThen Grand Master

ThatwasThen

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Too late to ask him; how he felt about the situation. I want him to know that I removed myself from the "relationship" to deal with my own issues and not because of him or anything he done wrong. I don't think I get any deeper. He never complaint about the sex, he only once mention that I needed relax and that I had no reason to feel insecure. I just feel I never enjoy it as much I would've liked and nor did he did.

Are you thinking that he liked you more then a FWB and that's why he's avoiding you now, because he needs to get over you?

 

I ask because I find your "need" to make yourself clear isn't necessary but you seem to be obsessed with needing to do it for some reason??????

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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In the future, never end thing over messaging unless you only went out one time and don't want a second date, or the person is dangerous too you. At least call them.

 

At any rate - yes, he is right to block you. You ended it. He doesn't "seem" upset or not upset. The arrangement is over. He may or may not be upset.

 

Now, moving forward, have some standards. No FWB. Just friendships. ANd relationships. Or friendships where you both decide you would like to try to date.

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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I think he may have been into you more than you think. YOU are the one who said sex couldn't be that great for him, when all he said is that you need to relax. He had talked about marriage (which may have meant something or not), but you told him that "he wasn't your man in the first place". I think if he did have feelings for you, YOU made it clear that he was to back off.

 

But at any rate - its over. You need to get ahold of your insecurities before you date. Because you are automatically shooting guys down - reading into that they don't enjoy sex with you, etc. Don't date any guy Don't even get an ice cream with him. He may not have been the right guy, but you have some work to do.

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Dottieflanogon Contributor

Dottieflanogon

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You did the right thing...You don't have to settle for sex when you deserve to be loved and cherished. Just do yourself a favor, and never look back.

You only need to keep in mind that even if he contacts you again, he'll never change the way he feels about you. he won't suddenly fall in love with you. You need to lose hope, you need to realize this. He only sees you as a fwb. In case he wants a relationship, it won't be with you.

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HeartGoesOn Grand Master

HeartGoesOn

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I want him to know that I removed myself from the "relationship" to deal with my own issues and not because of him or anything he done wrong.

 

Unless I'm out of the loop, I've never heard of FWB's referred to as a "relationship." Either way, these situations (for lack of a better term) are usually short lived, and usually end the same way they began.

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