I did something bad

[jracheli89]

Ok I did something bad and it's eating me away. One of my really good friends of 10 years has been on and off with his current girlfriend. We've talked here and there about his girl but it seems like they are to scared to breakup with each other. I've got to know his girlfriend over the course of 2 years while they've been dating so her and I are good friends at this point. My buddy does have a child with one of his previous girlfriends and it's just a giant mess between him and the ex but he will do anything for his child. I know it frustrates his current girlfriend that he has to talk to his ex about their child and whatever.

 

Anyways here's my confession. My buddy traveled for work over the week and one of our other friends had a party. My buddy couldn't make it because he's traveling for work so me and my buddy's girlfriend went together. Make a long story short large amounts of alcohol was absorbed that night and she came onto me. In the beginning I told her no I can't do that to my good friend and I have respect for you being his girlfriend. As time went on we drank more with our friends and she drove me home. When she dropped me off she asked if she could come in for a glass of water. Well she came inside and took a sip of water and kissed me. I lost control and responded to her that I wanted more. We kissed, touched and felt eachorher the rest of the night but didn't have sex. I can't blame the alocohol because I was aware of what I was doing and so did she.

 

I woke up the next day in which I felt awful and like the worse friend anyone could have. I have never done this before with a friends girlfriend but i did with this one. Words can't describe how awful I feel even days after and how much this is eating me away that my buddy trusted me with keeping his girl company as friends.

 

Me and my buddy's girlfriend talked the next day and both made an agreement. As bad as this sounds were going to keep this between her and I. She too agrees that this was a mistake and we both messed up. But to tell you the honest truth she's still coming onto me like she wants to do it again. I can't and I won't do it again as a result of how awful I feel. Am I a terrible person for doing all this?

[Seraphim]

First off ,the fact that she drove drunk is horrendous . Recently here an entire family was almost wiped out because somebody drove drunk. This poor woman had the news on and saw where a van had been hit by a drunk driver and she recognized it as her own van! Her father was killed at the scene ,her eldest son died in the hospital before she could get there and she had to take her TWO toddlers off life support when she got there. Because of one drunk driver she lost her father and ALL her children and her mother and grandmother were in critical condition in the hospital. What started as a wonderful day with grandparents taking out their little grandchildren who were nine and three and two and great grandma ended up as a huge tragedy because of one person's extremely selfish acts . ANYONE who drives drunk their ass should go directly to jail.

 

Second, sorry constitutes two things ;admitting the mistake to the appropriate person and never doing it again.

[dave_1966]

I obviously concur with the above, if drink driving took place. Hopefully it didn't, and you're dealing with just pure treachery. I would personally beat her to telling your friend before she does, and then run before he grabs you. I think that a woman of such low values, once she realises that it's not going anywhere with you, may wish to pip you to the post before you drop her in it. Good luck, and be prepared to get dropped by both of them.

[greta96]

If the other guy is your good friend, I think you should come clean and tell him what happened. Yes, the friendship will probably be ruined, but at least he'll still be left with an ounce of respect for you, for at least trying to do the right thing in the end. If he ends up finding out from someone else, his girlfriend included, he will hate you and the mere memory of you for the rest of his life. Plus, if you do think of him as a good friend, he needs to know what kind of snake he's in a relationship with.

You messed up, and now the right thing to do is fess up and clear your conscience, while helping your friend realize he's investing his time and feelings in someone very unworthy. He may or may not dump her, but at least you would have done right by him, and if he gets cheated on in the future, it's his own fault. Be a man and do the right thing, regardless of the consequences, not a coward who conspires with a cheat to fool your own friend.

Don't think he won't find out. If I were to bet, I would bet you that the second she realizes you won't be messing with her again, she will do her best to poison his mind against you and ruin your friendship. She will most likely tell him that you came on to her, because clearly that's the type of person she is. Are you willing to take this chance?

I don't think so...

So act like a stand up man and talk to your friend.

[Man with Dog]

You won't be the first to do something like this and you won't be the last. I'll bet your not the first bloke she's done it with either.

 

I don't see any point in telling your friend. It will just hurt him. I would just avoid being alone with her as much as possible. The fact that she's prepared to cheat and they're on/off tells me this "relationship" will end sooner or later. Don't interfere and let it run its course naturally. When it breaks, remember that your loyalty is too your friend.

[DoF]

You, her and your "friend" all sounds like train wrecks.

 

Sorry

 

Broken relationship/kids, drinking beyond control, driving while drunk, getting intimate........expect your life to be continuously filled with unnecessary drama.

 

Anyways, what I would do is isolate myself from those 2. She is not a good girlfriend to him. You are not a good friend to her and him. Just end that chapter and move on to find better friends.

 

Also, I doubt this guy is really your friend. Most guys won't be "friends" with a girl unless they like them.

 

Willing to bet if you were to tell him, he would be happy and try to get all of you into bed. Which should tell you he is a crappy boyfriend, crappy person and NOT a friend.

 

Good luck

[ParisPaulette]

Well, if you were honest and brave you'd just call your buddy up, tell him what you did, then accept that the friendship is over and done, tell him you are going to go away now since he can never trust you, and do just that. But I doubt you will, 'cause that takes a level of hutzpah and a pair of stones that I'm not sure even I would possess.

 

Another one for drunk driving BTW, I lost my best friend, my brother, my childhood friend to a drunk driver. So you do not even want to know what I think of this woman, but if I were queen of the universe driving drunk even once would be an automatic sentence of "you forever walk only with no other method of transportation available to you. For the rest of your life." Harsh? Yeah, sure. But not as harsh as burying people you love, because of someone else's pure selfish idiocy.

 

I'm sorry, this girl is going to spill the beans sooner or later to her boyfriend now that she thinks she's found a cheating partner. Your only course of action is distance the e out of yourself from both of them from this day forth. Take up a new hobby that keeps you busy and "sorry, I can't talk now" to both of them. Understand sooner or later she'll tell him and then he'll want to punch you in the nose and at that point you can deal with it if you don't come clean before that. But that friendship is done and sailed, sir. It's over no matter how long you delay the inevitable.

 

And the next time you know someone is driving drunk you call the cops and give them a description of the car. You might just save a life or two or three or more that way. I read Vic's account with tears in my eyes.

[jracheli89]

Idk Its a tough thing to deal with in life.

[jracheli89]

Hey.

I'm just wondering if you've been through this situation before? Just another question of how old are you?

 

Her and I have talked and she's sure she wants to keep this quiet. But at the same time I want to confess my sins. If i do confess my sins, just like everyone is saying that my buddy will hate me. I hate myself for doing this you really have no idea. I'm still talking to her and she's telling me that it's ok and she has no plans to tell my buddy because she doesn't want to cross that path.

 

Looking at your response it does make sense that sooner or later they will split and then will all this matter? I don't think it will but I'm still going down knowing what happened. Maybe then she'll say to him what happened. Idk.....I know I can't say anything because it will ruin a lot of things, not just a friendship and their relationship.

 

It's hard to do this but I can't say anything to him. Because when I think about it their relationship together it really is bad. At the same time I'm for doing this. If I could go back in time and change it I would, but I can't

 

But like I said she's calm and cool about keeping it quiet and I'm over here having it eat me away. I'll send her a message every so often if she's still cool and she immediately responds back "are you paranoid again"....... Yes, yes I'm very paranoid of her saying something even though she says she's not

[mhowe]

She will throw you under the bus in a minute ---- you seduced her, you knew she was drunk, it wasn't her fault.

 

Get ahead of the crap storm and confess.

[greta96]

And how much do you think her word weighs? After all, she's the type to drive drunk and make out with her boyfriend's friend.... clearly she has zero moral values and doesn't give a rat's ass on anyone but herself. Why would you trust her word, I have no idea...

This won't end up well for you...I feel that the whole situation will be spun so that you'll end up being the bad guy. Not that you weren't, but you weren't the only one.

 

I stand by what I wrote, gather the cojones and tell the truth. Stop covering for a lying, cheating drunk who is disrespecting your friend in every way she can.

[star9283]

As difficult as it would be, I'd tell your friend exactly what happened. It will then be up to him to judge both his girlfriend and you. Whatever his decision as a result of his hurt feelings. he deserves to know the truth and you will feel a weight off your shoulders in time. Without confessing, that weight will remain forever.

[Batya33]

I would tell but do not in any way use alcohol as an excuse. You chose to drink and chose the consequences.

[Longview01]

I wish you were my best friend