Rosti87 Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Christ, this post already has a thousand views????? It was only created this afternoon. It's because you keep refuting the advice and then other pipe in. Still others view the train wreak of a thread and can't believe how much back and forth is going on with this subject. I personally can't believe it. Link to comment
Helpexpressme Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 It's because you keep refuting the advice and then other pipe in. Still others view the train wreak of a thread and can't believe how much back and forth is going on with this subject. I personally can't believe it. Because it's refreshing to have an intelligent OP that responds to her threads. Link to comment
Hermes Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 My sentiments exactly Rosti. Why ask for the views of other posters and then not be prepared to hear good advice. And, Naomi, at age 40, what is it with the wisecracks and PA stuff. You can do better than that. Link to comment
Hermes Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 It isn't your call either, dearest Huck! So quit the trolling.... Link to comment
Helpexpressme Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 My sentiments exactly Rosti. Why ask for the views of other posters and then not be prepared to hear good advice. And, Naomi, at age 40, what is it with the wisecracks and PA stuff. You can do better than that. Her last thread got rid of the Doc! So she did listen. Link to comment
Hermes Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Dr. Who was never "got rid of". He is alive and well in her mind and thoughts, by her own admission even if she reaches age 90. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 It's because you keep refuting the advice and then other pipe in. Still others view the train wreak of a thread and can't believe how much back and forth is going on with this subject. I personally can't believe it. It's advice that's built upon hypothetical, upon hypothetical, upon hypothetical. I'm not refuting. It's advice that sometimes doesn't even apply because the event hasn't even occurred, and I will correct that. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 Just maybe because most internet advice sucks. Huckabee 2016 I read your thread about d-bags and nice guys. If this one guy is wooing me and trying to buy my affections, wouldn't that make him a d-bag and not a nice guy? Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 Hopefully this thread is heading for the journals section too..... and soon. Why would you say that when I JUST got through saying I hated that forum? You don't have to comment here at all if you don't like it. I have you on ignore most of the time anyway until someone quotes you and I want to respond. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 In all seriousness I don't really know and the reason is I haven't met him in person. I don't see his body language. This is why internet advice has issues. Huckabee 2016 His body language is similar to that of John Candy and Baby Huey. Seriously. Very gentle and calm demeanor. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Okay, well now I give up. Naomi, I honestly don't know what you want. I did try and look at it another way as to why he might be spending more time with you. I was sincere, sorry you felt that was an attack. It was not meant to be, you have asked a question that I think has merit. Bottom line I do like that as you spend more time with him you are seeing his good qualities more and more. This is good whether it's just as a friend or as something more. At the end of the day though only one person really knows what his motive is and that's him, not you, not strangers on the Internet. And mutual respect and enjoyment of each other's company is a damn good basis for any and all relationships of whatever sort, romantic or not. To that end I do wish you well, really I do. And I wish the same for him. It may indeed turn out he's the best thing to happen to you and I am not being sarcastic at all about any of this. I'm saying this as a woman who has had and been blessed with men in my life who were friends that were and are just amazing human beings. I just got a bit off tangent, because some of your remarks came accross as a bit hurtful to him, but I did state I didn't know if you meant those things or were just joking. Regardless, you need to heal from doctor1--who by the way I am very glad you finally said goodbye to. Now that is a guy not worth your time. But doctor2, as a friend sure. In hindsight I think you're worrying about things when you should simply be relaxing and going with the flow. Go enjoy time with all of your friends, heal from the first guy, see what tomorrow brings you. It's pretty much what any of us in a similar boat have to do following break ups. And this is the last thing I'm going to say on the topic. Love every friend you have for the gift they are and if more comes of it then it's gold on top of gold, but either way it's all good as long as you make each other happy, don't hurt each other, and you can be there for each other when the chips are down. That's my final advice. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 Can you see yourself sleeping with him? Huckabee 2016 If I'm horny enough and if he continues being nice to me, maybe. Not at this moment, no. Two months from now, maybe. He hasn't even kissed me so I don't know what the chemistry is like. Link to comment
Hermes Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Awww, Naomi, I am so broken-hearted LMAO. Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Just when you think this thread can't sink any lower....pow. Link to comment
Hermes Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Lol. MHowe. What can one say............ Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 Oh, Paulette, I didn't feel like you attacked at all. I thought you were reiterating the same points I was making and feel pretty much on the same page as you. I was trying to look at this from the viewpoint he was feeling sorry for me as well, but no one here but you addressed that issue. The comments that seem hurtful to him... here I am being honest with my feelings: Bottom line, I do not find him physically attractive but i do find him mentally and emotionally attractive. Thank you for commenting…I really do appreciate your insight and didn't take it any other way but as such. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 Just can't read this one over the net and I doubt the others can. You're lukewarm. I personally wouldn't want a woman to be lukewarm for me. The one way out is to have a conversation and it sucks to have to have the conversation. Huckabee 2016 I'm not in love with him, and I want to be in love with someone I sleep with. Can I fall in love two months down the line? Very possible. Link to comment
journeynow Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Naomi, have you been single, really single, not dating, not being treated by gents, not being wined and dined? Why not take some time off from men, period. Get the ex out of your system, heal from any ex-exes, be ok on your own, and think about what you truly value? It's too soon from Dr1, IMO, for you to think or respond clearly to anyone new. But what do I know? That's just my 2 cents. ^ I don't know if you responded about taking a break. What about taking a break from men? Actively choose that, give yourself time to heal? Is that out of the question? Link to comment
journeynow Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Yes, I really do need quit being so passive. But I am not going to initiate a talk this time. I refuse. According to you all, he is romantically interested. He needs to initiate the talk whenever he feels comfortable. How this comes accross is: I need to quit being so passive, but in the meantime I'm going to be passive. Not trying to peg you as anything other than what is coming accross. If you are intent on being passive, why ask the question in the first place ( Is He Being a Good Friend or Attempting to Seduce Me?) What does it matter? Are you not asking for advice, just wanting us all to speculate on someone we don't know? Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 The amusing thing is, they waste their time in this thread that I created (which I admit is sad and pathetic in its own darling way), and then insult the very thread in which they spend precious time participating in and can't seem to stay away from. And the funnier thing is the only time I see their posts is when they're quoted! Ah, I love my big fat ego and low self-esteem! Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 ^ I don't know if you responded about taking a break. What about taking a break from men? Actively choose that, give yourself time to heal? Is that out of the question? Of course not, that is not out of the question. That is sound advice, actually. I thought that's what I was doing until he whispered "Want to go to somewhere in Eurpoe with me"? Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 How this comes accross is: I need to quit being so passive, but in the meantime I'm going to be passive. Not trying to peg you as anything other than what is coming accross. If you are intent on being passive, why ask the question in the first place ( Is He Being a Good Friend or Attempting to Seduce Me?) What does it matter? Are you not asking for advice, just wanting us all to speculate on someone we don't know? I'm very poor at determining a man's intentions with me, so that's why I asked. But I think it was you or reinvent who said this sounds like the doctor scenario all over again; only with different players and a different setting. That was very eye-opening and probably the best advice so far. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Hopefully this thread is heading for the journals section too..... and soon. Journals don't have near enough of an audience I suppose Link to comment
journeynow Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 I'm very poor at determining a man's intentions with me, so that's why I asked. I see. What are your intentions? If you have no intentions, are just going along for the ride, I think that is where some people are advising caution, it doesn't make you innocent. Of course he has responsibility, too, but you are responsible for yourself, and he's not here asking questions (as far as we know). Curious about the passivity. Are you that way in other areas, work, women friends, family, life goals, with men in general, or specifically with men who you are involved with in one way or another? I don't think passivity is bad, per se, some times a wait-and-see approach is best, but may not be serving you well. Link to comment
journeynow Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 I thought that's what I was doing until he whispered "Want to go to somewhere in Eurpoe with me"? How were you taking a break from men if you were letting him wine and dine you? I am confused, I guess I can't picture it. Link to comment
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