Seraphim Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Awesome Jim. This brought gladness to my heart. Link to comment
avman Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Thats great ynguns. Just be really careful not to let your guard down completely. From everything you've posted your ex seems rather unstable to me. So just be cautious about whether this is a temporary period of stability or even whether this is a potential trap where she tries to manipulate you with sweetness. Its fine to be cordial to her and all but please don't read more into Kelly's smiles then there really is. I could easily see her slip in a comment while being extra nice like "Gee don't you think we could just do this between you and me and not have that silly court in the middle?". Add an extra smile and her gazing into your eyes and you can see where I'm going with this. Continue to get everything in a court order so you have something to enforce if it goes sideways. I'm very encouraged by your persistence here and I think your daughter will end up having a great relationship with her father. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 I agree don't be fooled by Kelly's sweetness . I don't think it was all her lawyer. However she may have been swayed by the judge telling her the next time she does something stupid her butt will go to jail. Link to comment
ynguns251 Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 Definitely keeping my guard up. I can only do so much and I am starting to think even Kelly is tired of the bull from her lawyer. It is costing us freaking thousands of dollars and all for what? I filed in IN to get name on certificate and had I known it would cause such a tramatic experience I would have just signed certificate. Link to comment
ynguns251 Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 Had another great visit with little Avery yesterday. I feel so much better after seeing her. Link to comment
avman Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 That's terrific. So good to see you in good spirits these days. What a great father you are. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 That is great Jim !! Link to comment
ynguns251 Posted September 8, 2015 Author Share Posted September 8, 2015 Hi all I am getting ready to see my daughter in the next hour and in need of advice on my court hearing this Fri. I was told by my attorney that Kelly and her attorney want me to have a psych evaluation and this is because I had arguments in the oadt with Kelly and states that I had threatened her father a month ago ( which is totally false ) oh and also because I wanted my daughter awake when I visited her a month ago ( as I did request so she could sllep in my arms because her father was in my daughters room ). Her lawyer brought up that I see a therapist and I expkained that I have went on my own free will and received great advice and probably not the advice Kelly liked to hear but nonetheless great advice. My lawyer is filing a harassment motion to dismiss these allegations and furthermore prove her trying to prolong time with my visitation. What do you think will happen? and I think she needs the therapy as she is paranoid and narcissistic. Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Huh? Well...It's good you're keeping your guard up. Did you get a copy of the motion? Link to comment
avman Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Based on the judges impatience with her at the last hearing I doubt the judge will be too sympathetic to their motion. But that doesn't mean it won't happen. Let your lawyer handle it. Don't worry about whether she needs therapy. That's her problem. You just focus on your own life and the well being of your daughter and leave it at that. Link to comment
lukeb Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Based on the judges impatience with her at the last hearing I doubt the judge will be too sympathetic to their motion. But that doesn't mean it won't happen. Let your lawyer handle it. Don't worry about whether she needs therapy. That's her problem. You just focus on your own life and the well being of your daughter and leave it at that. I pretty much agree with all of that, the bad news is really that you are both demonstrating to the court that you are not getting along at all. That spells worse news for you as it does for your ex. What you need to try to do is to make the visits as drama free as you can, you can already see that your interaction with your ex's Dad is being used against you. You are one half of all the drama that is occurring, generally you need two people to rev up and escalate the drama, so this is actually something to a large degree you have control over. Link to comment
sargon Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Kelly and her attorney want me to have a psych evaluation and this is because I had arguments in the oadt What's an oadt? Link to comment
ynguns251 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 I agree. I even switched a day this last weekend to help her out as she was seeing her family on Sun and Mon and against my lawyers advice I agreed that I would be nice and allow Avery to be with her family for Labor day ( I worked Labor Day anyway at firehouse ) and this is how she repays me. My lawyer is filing harassment on her and she is falsely accusing me of having threatened her father over a month ago and said I made her wake up a sleeping child so I could see her and she was being totally mean. Link to comment
lukeb Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 What's an oadt? I'm guessing typo supposed to be - past Link to comment
ynguns251 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Yes is was in the past. ( Voice to text stinks ) lol. Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 These are the actual base complaints she is making to support a motion for psychological evaluation? You allegedly threatened her father You had arguments in the past(did it state these were physical or threatening in nature?) You wanted Avery to be awake at visitation Link to comment
ynguns251 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Yes Cheetarah, We had even ( Kelly and I ) went to a co-parenting counselor on that day of when I wanted my daughter up so we could spend time together (especiall the 4 hrs I get every 2 weeks at that time ) and she was in a bad mood or something and said " fine and I am calling my lawyer " I said please do then her Dad came downstairs calling me a liar and a loser and I swear on my life I never threatened him. We seen an independent counselor that very same day and she had told kelly " baby needs to be up and ready to go " and boy did kelly look really mad. That therapist was upset with kelly's views and said we are not able to co-parent because she needs independent counseling as I have been doing. She said " I don't have time " and proceeded in saying how hard it is working and raising a child. The doctor said " well you can call Jim and I am sure he would watch Avery " ( she was a little mad ) Link to comment
ynguns251 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 No threatening towards Kelly or Avery just that I advised her father that I felt threatened when he came downstairs. Link to comment
lukeb Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 No threatening towards Kelly or Avery just that I advised her father that I felt threatened when he came downstairs. It is clear for whatever reason you are not giving us the whole story. It may not be any of our business but the judge is going to want to know what you said and what you did. Whether or not what you said or did was threatening is really a conclusion. You are a lot more forthcoming with what the Ex's Dad did or said then what you said or did. Again if that comes through it will look like you hiding something like you are doing with us right now. I do think that you wanting the baby to be awake during visitation a bit of an odd request. Its a baby, that is what babies do they sleep a lot. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 It is clear for whatever reason you are not giving us the whole story. It may not be any of our business but the judge is going to want to know what you said and what you did. Whether or not what you said or did was threatening is really a conclusion. You are a lot more forthcoming with what the Ex's Dad did or said then what you said or did. Again if that comes through it will look like you hiding something like you are doing with us right now. I do think that you wanting the baby to be awake during visitation a bit of an odd request. Its a baby, that is what babies do they sleep a lot. She is a year old. One year olds are not asleep every 2 hours. They have 2 naps a day for about an hour and a bit. It is perfectly acceptable for his child to miss one nap a month when he was getting to see her a few hours a month. Link to comment
chitown9 Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 It sounds like you cannot win for loosing. Sorry you are having such a rough time of it. chi Link to comment
avman Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Eh you know false allegations are so commonplace in custody disputes that judges are pretty wise to them. Most judges have a few tride and true questions they ask to quickly determine whether there is any merit to them or not. Let all this crap bounce off you and just keep a positive attitude, don't react or take her bait when she tries to push your buttons, let her rant and rave and go off the deep end. As you are seeing the professionals that deal with this stuff every day aren't buying her stories. So she is her own worst enemy. That's a shame for her, but just keep yourself out of the drama. Follow your lawyers advice with visitation. You see how it can be twisted against you sometimes. You think you are switching out a visit day but then she comes back and says "he just never showed up and he abandoned her". Yes its reasonable to have the baby awake when you pick her up for a visit. She can't use an excuse for you not to visit by saying "oh well the baby is sleeping now so go away". Nope - you still get your visit. Link to comment
ynguns251 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Luke, seriously dude!!! I am not lying for any apparent reason ( why would I ). I have do e nothing wrong except file for custody ( which upset my ex ) and now she is using the courts to hide behind. I can take any test and pass it, in fact I take the MMPI-2 every 5 years as a firefighter with outstanding results. You are like a Debbie Downer and always promoting the worst case scenario but what about the best case scenario and how honesty and integrity shall set me free. Link to comment
ynguns251 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Thanks Cheet and Av for support. I only wish people would see my intentions and not try to judge other then what the truth is. Link to comment
sargon Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 what about the best case scenario and how honesty and integrity shall set me free. In an ideal world that would be the case but real life just ain't like that. Sorry for your continued struggles. Sounds like your ex is emotionally unstable and completely unpredictable, she goes from cooperative and agreeable to impossible to deal with. Try to figure out her triggers and avoid them. Link to comment
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