JA0371 Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Things are status quo. We have both been sick this week....likely the same bug, which is funny because we haven't seen each other. I've felt terrible the last two days. Nothing worse than a cold/flu in the summer Hopefully it won't last long..l. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Have you seen him since the big fight? Link to comment
JA0371 Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Have you seen him since the big fight? No..but we've Ftimed. All is ok. We plan to meet up tomorrow, hopefully we will both be feeling better......but he did ask me to stay with him overnight with him for a work work trip in a few weeks. Looking forward to that. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Are you now just seeing him 2-3x a month because it's summer and he has the kids? Is that working for you? Link to comment
JA0371 Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Are you now just seeing him 2-3x a month because it's summer and he has the kids? Is that working for you? Yeah...he has them more during the summer....but we both knew it was coming. It's hard, but we squeeze in calls and Ftime when we can. I'm busy with work, so I just try to make the best of it. We know it's not going to last forever, and he does what he can to include me. with his issues with his ex taking him to court, the last thing I want to do is pressure him for more time, when he's fighting to spend more time with his kids. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Glad things are going well, JA, even if you aren't able to see him as much as you'd like. I just met my guy's kids tonight! It was kind of impromptu. He's been wanting to introduce us for awhile but was trying to figure out a good way to do it so that it was low stress for everyone. He and I had our standing Wednesday night date last week (we see each other every Wednesday night and every other Saturday at this point), and the next day he texted and asked if I wanted to meet him and his kids at a park for a picnic on Sunday night (tonight). I was nervous, but I went, and it went really well! At first his daughter (almost 13) was quiet, even a little sullen. His son (almost 9) was a lot friendlier. As the night wore on, they both really warmed up and we were joking and laughing. We spent about 2 1/2 hours together, which I think was a good amount of time. I got home to a text telling me that they thought I was really nice, funny, friendly, and "cool." I was happy to hear that, needless to say. My guy revealed to me that he was SUPER nervous about us all meeting, and he apologized if he was acting stressed or weird. I told him not to worry; I could tell he was a little stressed at first -- like me, he's not good at hiding his feelings, and I could see the stress on his face. Plus, he just sounded nervous when he was talking. As the time went by, he relaxed, and I could tell he felt better. He texted me a little bit ago to thank me -- he said that he appreciated how calm and cool I was and how I brought up topics to talk about that the kids would be interested in and how much that helped. So...success! Whew! I feel good. My ex didn't want me to have anything to do with his kids (it wasn't about me -- a lot of it was about his previous ex and how she was VERY attached to his kids and he didn't want to cause friction with her), so I only met his son a few times and never met his daughter while we were dating. Even though I KNEW it wasn't about me, it still hurt a lot -- it made me feel terrible, like "Why doesn't he want them around me?" The fact that my current guy flat out told me, "I want them to know you; you're a good person, someone I want around my kids," made me feel GREAT. It's amazing the difference. So, so many differences. Things are good. He wants to meet my parents, too. LOL! I love my parents, but...I know at least ONE of them will do something to embarrass me! Oh well, I can chalk it up to the fact that they're old people. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 oh brown eyes that is FABULOUS ...FABULOUS ...YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAAY if a 13 yrd old girl can warm to you you are home safe hahahah talk about awkward age isnt it omg ...so I am so glad it went so well for you , and now he wants to meet your parents ..I am positively beaming here for you lassie xx Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 just cought up with you as well JA and again mega mega happy you got over the argument and it is all going well ... it is hard when there are children , you are handling it superbly and accepting he is a daddy and needs to do his stuff ... you are good for him ..another massive smile from me xx Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 do we know how bluey is getting on ?? anyone ? well my update .. michael rocks ...that about covers it hehe Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 A story. Many years ago I introduced a rather arrogant boyfriend to my parents. We met at a fancy restaurant for lunch. My boyfriend ordered an appetizer that came with sides of various condiments. The waiter placed the condiments towards the middle of the table. My father who can be awkward socially anyway, assumed that the condiments were for everyone so he dipped a piece of bread in one (not double-dip -just once!!). I think he may have also spooned a condiment onto his plate. My boyfriend said "help yourself to MY condiments". I was mortified -not because he was being a jerk but because my father had made this mistake. I was in my 20s (duh) and I excused myself to go to the ladies' room because I was tearing up with shame. Years later I realized how ridiculous it all was -and how I was so clueless about how arrogant he was (oh, the chemistry!) Obviously your boyfriend sounds like a total catch and great guy - but your concerns reminded me so hope it's ok to share this memory! Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Yes! This was hilarious on one level -- just because it's exactly the kind of thing everyone dreads -- but it must have been extremely uncomfortable for you! UGH...I worry about my dad saying something unintentionally offensive, just because he has very old-school, conservative views on a lot of stuff. My parents are GREAT people, but....they're very set in their ways, very homebody types, too, so if he meets them, we won't be able to go out to dinner. My mom has all these dietary restrictions (mostly self-imposed; she's actually really healthy, just kind of paranoid!) so we'll have to cook at home, at my house, and have him over for dinner. My dad is a lovely person, but....once he feels comfortable with someone he talks....A LOT. He tells stories, talks about all the stuff he knows (not in an arrogant way at all -- he just really knows a lot about a lot of stuff because he loves history, machines, architecture, etc. and has learned a lot about that stuff) -- so I fear he'll talk my guy's ear off! But...everyone in my family talks a lot, except my sister, and even my brother-in-law, who isn't really related to us, so....I guess it would be good to get him to just dive right in and meet my parents so he knows what to expect with everyone else! Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 just cought up with you as well JA and again mega mega happy you got over the argument and it is all going well ... it is hard when there are children , you are handling it superbly and accepting he is a daddy and needs to do his stuff ... you are good for him ..another massive smile from me xx Me too; it IS hard when there are custody issues and court filings and all that. I remember my last ex was always in court with his ex; she was always taking him to court for one thing or another, and he was pretty stressed about it sometimes and talked about taking HER to court to retaliate. It was messy. That wasn't what interfered with our relationship, though -- I could have dealt with that. Being patient and supportive is good; you should also feel like you can state your needs and backburner them. Balance is the key -- being supportive of him and also looking out for you. Keep us posted! Link to comment
JA0371 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 Hello hello....l.how is everyone?? All is well here. K has been extremely busy with kids for the summer. He did end up going on the trip with his kids to see his female friend from college. It was fine. He sent me pics, called and texted every day. She was also there with her current bf and her daughter. I was concerned at first, but am over it now. Otherwise, we have both been busy but still very much involved. Missing him a lot today so I need my fix! Lol... Curious how everyone else is doing? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Glad you two are going strong and having fun! Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 All going well here! My guy and I are both in different states than our home state, both on trips we planned long before we met one another. All is going well. We are keeping in contact every day, and I am picking him and his kids up at the airport when they come home. We have both expressed that we miss each other a lot; I sent him a picture of me -- just a regular picture, no sexy pics -- LOL! -- and he wrote back that I made his whole day. We had a REALLY great July 4 before I left to go on my trip; ate dinner and had wine, watched the fireworks on the river, spent a ton of time talking. Neither one of us wanted to part ways after that, but we both already had these trips planned for so long (mine is an annual trip I make with family, his is to visit family members on the east coast), so we had no choice. Next year, I hope, we'll be able to take a trip together! Things are going very well. I feel calm and happy. I don't know what the future will bring, but I'm living in the present and enjoying it and hoping it will continue this way. Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Good for you BEG! That confused me for a second. I was wondering why you were aggressively commanding her to beg. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 I have been looking for this thread how is it all going ? would love to hear updates and I hope so much you are all happy and going strong . my love affair with mister buble sadly came crashing down ... I was at the hairdressers , having my little tray of tea and biscuits while my colour took , the hairdresser handed me a pile of magazines ( have you ever tried to put your reading glasses on with a head full of foil) anyway ..I opened the page to find him there .....with his wife ..harping on about how much he loved her and their child ...bloody cheek ha updates everyone please ... Link to comment
JA0371 Posted September 18, 2015 Author Share Posted September 18, 2015 Hahaha....thanks Pippy! Ugh...I have been so busy or otherwise I would have been posting. We hit a few snags, the usual drama with his ex, custody, plus I'm closing my business, so we are just both sort of stressed. We still love each other, but we decided to put things on hold for now. We are going to revisit things in a couple months. In the meantime we will stay in touch and talk. My feeling is that if it's mean to be......it will happen, regardless of the obstacles. Link to comment
John John Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 That confused me for a second. I was wondering why you were aggressively commanding her to beg. Ok this made me LOL big time. Because I was thinking the same thing, like ", this is JA's thread!" lol Link to comment
Tanzi Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Pippyyyyyy!!!!! Love the name change .... but you will always be a star to me. Pippy longstocking definitely suits you though. So things with my "relationship" eventually faded into nothing. We spent 6 weeks on the other side of the world from each other (well almost) and we couldn't even really chat in real time. All we had were long gaps in between sending, receiving and replying to texts and with only 4 dates behind us there wasn't enough to sustain a connection. So it just faded away. I'm actually seeing someone else now but it's only been a few weeks (ever think relationships are like buses). He seems keen to label it a relationship but I'm not so sure that's what I want. Oh, I dunno, i think I've spent far too long on my own! Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 I have been looking for this thread how is it all going ? would love to hear updates and I hope so much you are all happy and going strong . my love affair with mister buble sadly came crashing down ... I was at the hairdressers , having my little tray of tea and biscuits while my colour took , the hairdresser handed me a pile of magazines ( have you ever tried to put your reading glasses on with a head full of foil) anyway ..I opened the page to find him there .....with his wife ..harping on about how much he loved her and their child ...bloody cheek ha updates everyone please ... Thanks for asking, Pippy! I should probably make my own thread, but...I fear my dating experiences won't be all that interesting to most! I am on month seven (!) with new guy. Guess I can't really even call him "new guy" anymore! All is going well. I've spent more time with him and his kids, and the kids seem to like me. I don't think it hurts that I have mad baking skills and have sent their father home with a few little goodies here and there, which they've loved! He met my sister last week, and they got along well. Next is my parents, next weekend (yikes!) I'm not too concerned, but...my parents have their quirks, so I hope they don't embarrass me -- LOL! We have plans for a weekend getaway by the ocean in November, so that will be nice (we live in CA, so while it will be cold, it won't be "cold" in the sense that it is in the rest of the US in November!) So far, so good. No conflicts or fights yet. Lots of talking. Taking things very slowly, one day at a time. Good stuff! Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Hahaha....thanks Pippy! Ugh...I have been so busy or otherwise I would have been posting. We hit a few snags, the usual drama with his ex, custody, plus I'm closing my business, so we are just both sort of stressed. We still love each other, but we decided to put things on hold for now. We are going to revisit things in a couple months. In the meantime we will stay in touch and talk. My feeling is that if it's mean to be......it will happen, regardless of the obstacles. I'm sorry to hear that, but...at least you're on good terms. That's really important for any future re-visiting of the relationship, which sounds likely. I think one HUGE plus to my relationship is that the custody stuff was ironed out AGES ago (his divorce was over four years ago), and things are very clearly defined. His ex is stubborn and inflexible, which normally wouldn't be good, but it IS kind of good with regard to their custody situation because there are NO surprises. She never wants them for more than her allotted time, and she always has the kids when she's supposed to. There's no love lost between my guy and his ex, for sure, but they are reasonably civil. Keep us posted, JA -- I hope when the dust settles you can work things out! Link to comment
JA0371 Posted September 18, 2015 Author Share Posted September 18, 2015 I'm sorry to hear that, but...at least you're on good terms. That's really important for any future re-visiting of the relationship, which sounds likely. I think one HUGE plus to my relationship is that the custody stuff was ironed out AGES ago (his divorce was over four years ago), and things are very clearly defined. His ex is stubborn and inflexible, which normally wouldn't be good, but it IS kind of good with regard to their custody situation because there are NO surprises. She never wants them for more than her allotted time, and she always has the kids when she's supposed to. There's no love lost between my guy and his ex, for sure, but they are reasonably civil. Keep us posted, JA -- I hope when the dust settles you can work things out! Thank you...I will. You're right that it's good that we're on good terms. There has been no hard feelings...and we both still say we love each other. I think we have a good shot. Link to comment
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