pippy longstocking Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 hehe thankyou darling Link to comment
JA0371 Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Just had a catch up and it is just fab fab fab to read you all so happy ..I like it all on the same thread , it is easier to follow ... we just need an update from bluey , hers went away . I have decided to have a boyfriend so I can add some substance to the love fest on here ...he is called micheal buble , he is a singer , you might have heard of him ..he is married I admit , but just in the process of bumping the wife off ... Lol.....well maybe bumping her off is a little harsh. We could just ugly her up a bit. And if that don't work we can just hog tie her and let you have your way with Mikey. I'm certain that will make his heart flutter..lol Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Lol.....well maybe bumping her off is a little harsh. We could just ugly her up a bit. And if that don't work we can just hog tie her and let you have your way with Mikey. I'm certain that will make his heart flutter..lol ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahhaa yep , that will do for me hahahahaahahahah Link to comment
JA0371 Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Hi Mhowe! I keep forgetting to update...I guess because things have been going so well. I did see k last night and will tonight ...he's hosting this event with a parade, fireworks etc....woohoo. Should be fun. He's also dealing with issues regarding his ex and custody. It's complex, so trying to just be supportive however I can and be a good influence. It's been stressful at times. Hoping eventually she will just grow tired of making waves in his life. How about the other ladies? Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Things are going well for me, too! I think meeting his kids is in the near future -- he revealed that he sought advice from his stepmom (who he says is more like his mom than his real mom is!) about introducing me to the kids to make it comfortable for everyone. They know about me already, and he says they seem fine -- his oldest, a 12 year old girl, told him she was happy for him. We see each other about twice a week, but I suspect that will increase by a day or two per week once I've met his kids (he has 50% custody but actually ends up having them more than 50% of the time -- his ex seems inclined to give them to him more). Come July, we will not see each other for about two weeks as we both have vacations planned (before we met), that will overlap. However, there's been talk about keeping in contact while we're both away (he's visiting family back east with his kids, I am going on a road trip with some family to the Pacific Northwest), and there's been future talk of other sorts, though not of the "OMG! It's meant to beeeeee! We're gonna be married!!!!" type of talk. He's a really good, solid guy, and we have a lot of fun together and talk a lot about important things. Our values are VERY much aligned, and we even share some interests (though we have enough different interests that we're not going to be joined at the hip at all times). I'm happy with the way things are going, for sure. Most positive feeling I've had about any guy in probably two decades. Link to comment
JA0371 Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Wow......this is such happy news!! Overjoyed for you! Hooing things continue to prosper for you guys! It's funny because your guy and my guy sound a lot alike personality wise. Good, solid, trustworthy, fathers....except mine has some tiny baby mama drama..lbut not of his doing. He deals with it pretty well. Can't ask for much more than that! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Browneyed girl -here's a question: would you have been as into him if you two had met 20 years ago (assuming that he was also 20 years younger!). Sounds so good by the way, that peaceful easy feeling....and exciting too! Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 glad everything going well for you all. Micheal and myself are getting on very well, his wife has been causing me a few problems , but nothing I can't handle . Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Browneyed girl -here's a question: would you have been as into him if you two had met 20 years ago (assuming that he was also 20 years younger!). Sounds so good by the way, that peaceful easy feeling....and exciting too! Hi Batya -- Good question! The answer: NOPE. I wouldn't have been, because I was a totally different person twenty years ago. I had a tendency to go for guys who were hot/cold, emotionally unavailable types -- even ten years ago, when I met my last ex. My current guy is very "available" in every sense, and that's a HUGE plus for me, but the person I was 20 years ago wouldn't have wanted him, most likely (if he were the same person as he is now, I mean!) because I didn't think I was worthy of love, and consistent attention, and reciprocation, and I tended to get into relationships and dating situations that were very lopsided -- with me being more into the guy than he was into me, me doing a good deal of the work, etc. My relationship with my last ex was the one that changed me forever. It forced me to face facts about myself and who/what I had been pursuing and why. It forced me to confront lies I had been telling myself for years about not being worthy of love, etc. It forced me to make a decision about how I wanted to live the rest of my life. It was an awful experience for me -- it literally had me crying in a heap on the floor a number of times -- but it changed me in unfathomable ways. Now, all unavailable men -- emotionally and otherwise -- can just keep walkin' on, 'cause BEG36 has better things to do with her time. I am glad I met my new guy (we'll call him 'M') now instead of even five years ago. I don't think I would have been ready for him. Now, I feel very ready! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 You are the very definition of positive growth browneyed! Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Wow......this is such happy news!! Overjoyed for you! Hooing things continue to prosper for you guys! It's funny because your guy and my guy sound a lot alike personality wise. Good, solid, trustworthy, fathers....except mine has some tiny baby mama drama..lbut not of his doing. He deals with it pretty well. Can't ask for much more than that! I'm glad things are going well for you, too! Mine has a tad bit of drama, in the sense that his ex attempts at times to start things, but...he's very good about not engaging. They speak only when necessary, about the kids, and otherwise they occupy their own separate lives and spaces with no significant interaction. One thing I love about him is that he doesn't trash talk on her at all; though he has told me of some of the things she has done (i.e. not paying on a joint credit card that she was ordered in the divorce settlement to pay on) that are questionable, he doesn't talk much about her, and he has never once disparaged her, name-called, or anything. He accepts that it didn't work out and seems to be very focused on the kids and making sure they are well cared for and loved. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 You are the very definition of positive growth browneyed! Thank you, Ms Darcy! That means a lot to me! It'll sound a little corny, but...I feel like I hit a total rock-bottom (like an addict, only without the drugs or alcohol!) and the ONLY way to go was up. I felt utterly destroyed after my last relationship because it was such a rollercoaster ride of crap. It's almost as if who I was before was completely demolished, and out of the wreckage came someone entirely new and different. Of course, a lot of the "old" me is still there -- mostly the good parts -- but my perspective is SO different. For a long time, when I was going through all of that stuff with my ex, I would look in the mirror and think "Who IS that?!" I didn't recognize myself anymore -- I felt like a stranger was walking around with my face. Now, I feel like I'm the most myself that I've ever been, if that makes sense. As awful as it all was at the time, I'm convinced now that it all had to happen -- that it needed to in order for me to find myself. Reading that over, it really does sound kind of corny, but...it's definitely how I feel! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 "Hi Batya -- Good question! The answer: NOPE. I wouldn't have been, because I was a totally different person twenty years ago. I had a tendency to go for guys who were hot/cold, emotionally unavailable types -- even ten years ago, when I met my last ex. My current guy is very "available" in every sense, and that's a HUGE plus for me, but the person I was 20 years ago wouldn't have wanted him, most likely (if he were the same person as he is now, I mean!) because I didn't think I was worthy of love, and consistent attention, and reciprocation, and I tended to get into relationships and dating situations that were very lopsided -- with me being more into the guy than he was into me, me doing a good deal of the work, etc." Scary almost how much we have in common on that front. And I thought it was just that we both have brown eyes! Link to comment
chickadeedee Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 How wonderful for both of you! I really glad to hear how well you are doing and that you've found a couple of good guys. It is so nice to read stories of people who are living contented and happy relationships rather than drama, drama, drama. People so often confuse the excitement of drama and conflict with the type of real and enduring love that has what it takes to go the distance. Link to comment
rapunzel Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Wow, it is so serendipitous that I stumbled onto this thread this morning. I haven't been here in a long while and wanted to say hello to browneyegirl36, Batya and Ms. Darcy. Something prompted me to log on today to read about BEG's new guy….that is soooooo awesome, BEG! So happy for you. You so deserve it! Interestingly, once again our stories - BEG - seem to collide. I met someone recently, only 6-7 weeks ago. Quick recap: in 2007 I broke up with my LTR boyfriend and met the guy (grrrr) that brought me to find this site. After a few years of struggle I got over THAT one, and then in late 2012 met another (unavailable) guy who was a similar major disappointment. I was just finishing 6 months of no contact with him, and closed the door on that chapter. Now in my early 50's - I essentially surrendered, threw up my hands, accepted "what is" and decided to just have fun, on my own terms…man or no man. Unexpectedly, I met new guy - in real life, organically, not doing online dating which proved to be frustrating not to mention extremely time-consuming. He is available (shocking!), giving, caring and very communicative. What a difference! He is like an 180 from the last two men. I don't have to wonder how he feels because he tells me in no uncertain terms. He is also hilarious, extremely talented musically and smart. In fact, it is me who is holding back a bit because I am not used to this! He is also younger by 6 years but it is NOT an issue! With the last two guys, #1 was two years older than me but he was hoping to meet someone 10-15 years younger. #2 was 6 years younger and our age difference was a deal breaker, even though we looked about the same age. Not sure where this is leading but it sure is nice to be appreciated, to not be walking on eggshells, or wondering if/when I'm going to hear from him. And the good news is: I am attracted to him, and it feels natural, not forced. I feel so confident with him that I don't spend a long time getting ready or fixing my hair, or planning what I'm going to wear hours ahead of time. He digs me just as I am. I know, shocking! ;-) And since nothing in life is perfect, there are things about him that well, do not fit my pre-conceived notions of an "ideal" partner. I discussed these things with a girlfriend who is well-familiar with my history, who reminded me that we really only have today, and we have to make the most of TODAY. That in mind, I'm keeping my feet firmly planted on the ground, and enjoying being adored and cared for by a - gasp - younger man. ;-) Best to all! Oh, and thanks to the OP, JA0371 and best to you. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 *cough* I hate been left out Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 *cough* I hate been left out No one could forget you!!! I think maybe Rapunzel might have left you out because you changed your username, and she didn't recognize you. I was thrown off at first too, but then I recognized your sense of humor after a couple posts and said "Ah! I know her!!!!!" Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Hi R! Good to see you here! I was JUST thinking of you the other day and wondering how you were doing. Sounds like things are going well. In another eerie similarity between us, my new guy is 6 years younger than I as well -- freaky! I know what you mean about the 180. I mean, sheesh -- I can't BELIEVE how different this guy is than my ex and other guys I have dated. Generous, available, present, normal, down-to-earth, not 10,000 kinds of crazy. And, the biggest difference is how I feel around him -- and when he's NOT around -- calm, peaceful, anxiety-free. No more walking on eggshells. No more waiting for the axe to fall. No more hot-and-cold ridiculousness. It's so refreshing. Plus, he's smart, kind-hearted, hilarious, thoughtful, AND good looking, among other things. Whew! How did THAT happen?!?! Anyway, good to see you back! Hope things continue to go well for ALL of us! Link to comment
rapunzel Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 No one could forget you!!! I think maybe Rapunzel might have left you out because you changed your username, and she didn't recognize you. I was thrown off at first too, but then I recognized your sense of humor after a couple posts and said "Ah! I know her!!!!!" Oh yes…I skimmed the thread and saw some usernames I recognized….certainly did not mean to leave anyone out! ;-) Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Rapunzel that is great news. Um do you mean not ideal because his name is Caitlyn? Sorry could not resist. I am delighted for you and impressed at the way you're having a blast/a bit smitten -yet very grounded/realistic. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 No one could forget you!!! I think maybe Rapunzel might have left you out because you changed your username, and she didn't recognize you. I was thrown off at first too, but then I recognized your sense of humor after a couple posts and said "Ah! I know her!!!!!" yes I keep forgetting myself that I changed it hahahaha I was only teasing rapunzel I was shooting star ..had a bit of a change . I do love this thread though ..even if I only pop on to pretend I am going out with micheal buble "sigh" . I call it the ray of hope thread ... because people will see this and read and realise there is life after a broken heart ..it is inspiring, but not only that , to be privvy to you girls starting out again ...the nerves , when to be intimate , meeting the kids , etc etc etc ..it is a wonderful insight ..like watching a show every week , waiting to see what happens next . It is fab and all of you are fab fab fab and more fab . Link to comment
JA0371 Posted June 3, 2015 Author Share Posted June 3, 2015 So K and I had our first major fight in six months a couple of days ago. It was mostly my fault, and I admitted it, but I knew an argument or fight would erupt eventually. I wondered how it would test our relationship or how we would resolve it. I am a believer that you don't truly know someone until you've had a fight with them, because that's when you see their true colors. Without getting into why we were fighting I will say that it was mostly via text, then on the phone which he raised his voice with me. I hung up...because I shut down when someone is yelling at me. So we were both wrong. Long story short....we talked later and he said 'I love you..lets talk about this tomorrow when we've both slept on it.' So we did and we apologized and made up. So........I am happy with the way we resolved our fight. We both admitted what we did and that we will Ty to avoid it in the future. So....our first fight is in the books....lol Link to comment
patokeen Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I am so happy for you!!! all the best, please keep posting Link to comment
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