*Sigh*

[scarlet486]

I've been online dating for almost 2 years now. I have profiles on Match, POF, OkCupid, Tinder..etc you get the picture. In this year time I've pretty much talked to or went out with every option that I've had interest in within a 50 mile radius. With the exception of a few that didn't work out I've had zero luck. I live in a town of about 15k people and I'm a single mom that works full time. I hate bars and my friends are married and have no one to set me up with. I'm feeling like I'm running out of options here. I know they say that when you stop looking that's when you will find them. It's just getting hard to wait around. I married my first boyfriend at 20 years old and that lasted for 7 years before we divorced. These events have made me "picky" and I don't want to make the same mistake of being with the wrong one again. I know I need to take a dating detox or something but it's no fun crawling into an empty bed at night and not having anyone to share life with. Anyone feel the same way or have any advice?

[Zippy2000]

Maybe you`re looking for a specific type of man. Too picky maybe?

[scarlet486]

Perhaps. My ideal guy is over 5'10", non smoker and a country boy. I don't think it's terribly picky but it's turning out to be that way.

[Sportster2005]

I think a lot of people hear feel your pain. It really is hard. And I'm sure in a smaller area it is that much more difficult. I have felt the same, as in past tense. I'm used to being alone now. Don't give up. Please don't become one of us zombies

 

It sounds like things didn't end well with your first husband. Try not to make everyone you meet guilty of past sins your ex may have brought upon you.

[shellyf62]

I hear you.

I was married for 17yrs, ex had an affair, I spent time raising my children alone and getting emotionally healthy.

When I was finally ready to meet someone they don't seem to want to meet me.

I am 52 and curvy. Most men my age are looking for a young, blonde supermodel, who is into fishing, camping & harleys

I have dated 3 guys in the last 6 years, but they didn't work out.

I am not picky, I just wont settle. Life is too short to be with someone and not be happy.

All I can say is keep slogging away. New guys join everyday, hopefully your guy will join very soon!!!

[IAmFCA]

Your guy might be anywhere, on line or off. Keep doing things in the community, being visible. He can't find you if you are home.

[ParisPaulette]

You need to go find some activities, hobbies, classes or something and take that up. And meet men. Given the description you do how about country western line dancing--that's where I'd head if I were into a tall country boy. OR some sort of hiking activities or, or, or. I love artistic people and after taking art classes myself I met my current SO. In fact, I never had much luck with online dating--just enough material to fuel a stand-up comedian for decades. I always met my men through some sort of shared activity or common interests.

[Ms Darcy]

How old are you OP? I didn't have much luck in dating until I moved to a major metropolitan city.

 

Also, I would suggest dropping the height and country boy requirements.

[scarlet486]

Thanks everyone! I suppose I do need to step out and do something. Just seems like there isn't enough time in the day to work, take care of my daughter (she's 3) and hunt for men! Lol. I work in a restaurant but most of our guests are up in age. I'm 28 and my age range I'm looking for is 26-32. I live in Southern Illinois so there is no shortage of country boys it's just weeding out the ones that aren't right for me. Half the time when I do meet a guy I like and click with he isn't looking for anything serious..just booty calls. That's been the last 3 guys The one I really liked only wants a skinny blonde and the other guy moved to another state for work.

 

And yes, my ex husband was a cheater and never participated in our marriage at all. He holed up in the basement and played video games the whole time. So I do have a bit of reservations when it comes to certain guys. I don't want to settle again.

[notalady]

Also, I would suggest dropping the height and country boy requirements.

 

Completely agree with this. Limiting yourself to superficial factors like that significantly limits you dating pool and the potential of finding someone that is a good match for you personality and value wise.

[blueidealist24]

Yeah, your height requirement is rather restrictive since I think only about 25% of guys fit that.. have you been going out with guys who are shorter, or ruling them out immediately? It's too bad you can't expand your search to a wider area, but I know when you're really busy with a kid and a job, that's hard.

[scarlet486]

I'm 5'7" myself. I just can't stand taller than someone. I've tried and it was not working for me at all. Total turn off.

[scarlet486]

I've dated 2 guys that lived over 40 miles away and it's just too hard to make it work/get a sitter/etc. My daughters father chooses to not come around so I have her 24/7 so paying a sitter for dates is my only option.

[Ms Darcy]

I'm 5'7" myself. I just can't stand taller than someone. I've tried and it was not working for me at all. Total turn off.

 

Ah 28 is still young. Trust me, if you are still single in your 40s, that height requirement will go away real quick.

[Capttrae]

Also, I would suggest dropping the height and country boy requirements.

 

Drop the height yes, but us redneck country boys are the best. You ever heard of a city not that can jerk the hide off a deer, loves muddin, fishin, Campin, and jacked up trucks??? Yea me either.

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Sportster2005]

I hear you.

I was married for 17yrs, ex had an affair, I spent time raising my children alone and getting emotionally healthy.

When I was finally ready to meet someone they don't seem to want to meet me.

I am 52 and curvy. Most men my age are looking for a young, blonde supermodel, who is into fishing, camping & harleys

I have dated 3 guys in the last 6 years, but they didn't work out.

I am not picky, I just wont settle. Life is too short to be with someone and not be happy.

All I can say is keep slogging away. New guys join everyday, hopefully your guy will join very soon!!!

 

Attitudes like this keep women single. Stop stereotyping and blaming the other gender for your dating failures.

[Blue Spiral]

Attitudes like this keep women single. Stop stereotyping and blaming the other gender for your dating failures.

 

I agree that she has a bad attitude (yes, yes, I'm hardly one to judge), but I think that she should be able to blame the other gender all she wants. I'm guessing that she's exaggerating, but, even so, I'm glad that fiftysomething men have high standards and aren't settling.

[Sportster2005]

I agree that she has a bad attitude (yes, yes, I'm hardly one to judge), but I think that she should be able to blame the other gender all she wants. I'm guessing that she's exaggerating, but, even so, I'm glad that fiftysomething men have high standards and aren't settling.

 

People are free to do whatever they please. Implied in her post is she is having difficulty attracting a partner/mate/bf. Assigning blame/cause to something or someone else is counterproductive. Not just in dating but in problem solving in general. And both genders do it. Attracting the opposite gender is can be extremely frustrating. But when you throw your arms and blame men/women for your personal failures you are doomed.

 

Not sure insisting on younger super model blondes on Harleys is having high standards.

[Rosti87]

 

Not sure insisting on younger super model blondes on Harleys is having high standards.

 

I agree with this whole heartedly.