IAmFCA Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Taking a poll. My exex is able to blow himself. Trust me, its true. He makes a regular practice of swallowing his own. He is embarrassed by it, and proud of it too. He regards it as a secret that can't be shared even with intimate partners. Is he right? Would you be repulsed? Link to comment
poetryandlyrics Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Nothing really repulses me unless it's that extreme. That said, if this was appropriate, I'd be curious to see it at least just once because I definitely cannot imagine it, lol. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 Nothing really repulses me unless it's that extreme. That said, if this was appropriate, I'd be curious to see it at least just once because I definitely cannot imagine it, lol. That's how I felt about it too. He has a ridiculously high sex drive and is also very talented and experimental. He has internalized a self image that others will judge him because he knows he is not statistically normal. As tkyj says, Who cares? But, he does. It struck me that maybe he is right, maybe people WOULD be repulsed by his self-oral talents. So before I buck him up, I thought I had better get a reality check. Link to comment
El0t Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Some people are repulsed by the idea of anything sexual period and, on the other hand, there are some people who regularly practice deviant behaviors far more appalling than what you described. Honestly, I don't think it's a question about examining the behavior itself, but his own perception and self-esteem that would be of any issue. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 Some people are repulsed by the idea of anything sexual period and, on the other hand, there are some people who regularly practice deviant behaviors far more appalling than what you described. Honestly, I don't think it's a question about examining the behavior itself, but his own perception and self-esteem that would be of any issue. True. Nobody's benchmark matters but our own. Why he needs affirmation goes to deeper issues. Good point. Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Are you drunk, ITIC? This is not your style of post, lol. No, I wouldn't be repulsed. I would just need to see it for myself out of curiosity. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 Cheetarah, I appreciate your comment! I had the same thought. That just shows I shouldn't be emailing that ex. Which is surely true. Honestly, I am grateful to be getting perspective. I started to wonder if I am that much more open minded. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I would question his motivation for sharing that - would he share how talented he is at wiping himself after using the bathroom, for example? Since he's not going to have a partner participating in that activity, what's the point of telling someone else? Link to comment
missmarple Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I'd be repulsed...it's really something I'd rather never know...in the rare case that someone would tell me something like that..LOL Link to comment
shes2smart Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I'd be more impressed by the flexibility it must take to accomplish that. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 I'd be more impressed by the flexibility it must take to accomplish that. Yes. Strong as an ox. Beefy. Bends himself in half. It is impressive. Yoga/triathlons. , Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 Marylin Manson, huh ? Lol. More than most, anyway, which helps. Flexibility is the primary trait that allows this to happen. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 I would question his motivation for sharing that - would he share how talented he is at wiping himself after using the bathroom, for example? Since he's not going to have a partner participating in that activity, what's the point of telling someone else? There are several approaches to this answer... This man is the most unusual man I have ever met. I've seen him do this, only back then he wasn't as flexible so not as effective. Sharing now is a way of saying how much progress he's made. It is highly inappropriate, and he may be thinking of me, even more inappropriate. Also, he needs validation. He is proud of his sexual prowess, with good reason but of course, that is crass. Also, because he judges himself or expects judgment from others for his sexuality, he has certain truths bottled up that he shares only where he thinks it's safe. There is no defending him nor me for communicating, it really shouldn't ever happen and so we don't communicate at all, except of late. Having left the polite topics, we each will now drop the thread and resume nc. His psychological nature is layered enough to fuel a semester's worth of analysis. He is both genius and boor, protector and victim, of strong moral code and flouter of sexual mores. He is not most people's cup of tea. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I don't think it's as complicated as you explained. He likes the shock value/attention of this kind. and since it sounds like this was typed to you then it's even easier for him to share this from a safe computer screen distance. Since you already saw him do this then it's different than him telling someone who never saw him do it. It's like when kids say bad words because they'd rather be criticized than ignored. Of course, he might be a complicated person but I don't think his typing to you how he masturbates is an example of being complicated - it couldn't be more simple. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 I don't think it's as complicated as you explained. He likes the shock value/attention of this kind. and since it sounds like this was typed to you then it's even easier for him to share this from a safe computer screen distance. Since you already saw him do this then it's different than him telling someone who never saw him do it. It's like when kids say bad words because they'd rather be criticized than ignored. Of course, he might be a complicated person but I don't think his typing to you how he masturbates is an example of being complicated - pit couldn't be more simple. Could be. I don't much care what motivates him. He doesn't get shock from me. I simply said "you're a lucky man". His motivation could be purely prurient. How he thinks of me is not, but in that context, could be. I don't much care, really. He is not my problem, thank goodness. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 Could be. I don't much care what motivates him. He doesn't get shock from me. I simply said "you're a lucky man". His motivation could be purely prurient. How he thinks of me is not, but in that context, could be. I don't much care, really. He is not my problem, thank goodness. And yes, you are right. He likes attention for his sexual prowess. No question about that. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Could be. I don't much care what motivates him. He doesn't get shock from me. I simply said "you're a lucky man". His motivation could be purely prurient. How he thinks of me is not, but in that context, could be. I don't much care, really. He is not my problem, thank goodness. Good -I'm glad you don't care just like you shouldn't care how he wipes himself after he uses the bathroom. No difference. Link to comment
blackgnat Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 It just reminds me of that joke, "Why do dogs lick themselves? Because they can." Hahaha. So this guy can give himself oral sex? Well, I don't see why it needs anybody's input (no pun intended) but his. What he does and can do in the privacy of his home or relationship is his own business. I don't find it repulsive. I think he's lucky that he is so bendy, lol. A lot of guys with partners who won't give bjs would LOVE to be in his position! Oh God, there are too many opportunities to make corny jokes in this post. I feel like Benny Hill... Link to comment
Realitynut Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I think it's sorta gross actually. But then i've been with a few guys who won't kiss me after I've done oral on them.....and swallowed. So there ya go.... But it does remind me of the dog joke...lol Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 Batya, I didn't mean to offend hence my warning and post in sex forum... I am interested in and generally glad to have learned about a variety of topics relating to sex. I find it a fascinating part of the human experience. I took at 6-credit class in it, actually. Through sex we often express aspects that otherwise are seemingly unrelated - pleasure and power, and also vulnerability, insecurity, affection, attachment, love, hatred, shame, fear, pride, independence... So, yes, it is different to me. And - to this question, why do I care? He and I have talked before about whether people would generally find this acceptable. I am curious to know myself. I find it interesting that we reject certain things and embrace others that bring pleasure without harm. Why not accept all behaviors that bring pleasure without harm? For me, this is part of a broader topic in which I have had an interest for a few decades. To the point of this being his personal business and why am I hearing about it... that is a topic for another day. That is just how it is. We will soon return to NC due to our inability to maintain appropriate boundaries until something triggers him to email me again some months or years from now. I'll add you to the repulsed column. Link to comment
jak3 Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Kudos to him! I'd never share this with a partner though; not out of shame mind you ... just the idea that they may be less keen to give me mouth parties if they knew that I could do it myself. Link to comment
faraday Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Kudos to him! I'd never share this with a partner though; not out of shame mind you ... just the idea that they may be less keen to give me mouth parties if they knew that I could do it myself. hahahaha, That's EXACTLY what I thought when I read it!! I rarely give handjobs because...I think my bf should be way better at doing that...he has enough practise, you know? But I give him oral all the time...but if he could do that too...he'd probably be way better at it than me. Good for him. I think it's awesome. Link to comment
faraday Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I think it's sorta gross actually. But then i've been with a few guys who won't kiss me after I've done oral on them.....and swallowed. So there ya go.... But it does remind me of the dog joke...lol ....really? I wouldn't be giving him oral again then. They should get over themselves Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.