oitnb Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 Thanks so much, Vic. I plan on getting into therapy soon so maybe it can help me understand some of these issues I have that always seem to pop up with my parents. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Thanks so much, Vic. I plan on getting into therapy soon so maybe it can help me understand some of these issues I have that always seem to pop up with my parents. Yes, you're going to need therapy to learn how to instill proper boundaries with people. Because your family was so incredibly dysfunctional you don't know what proper boundaries are yet. And I grew up with very similar dysfunctionality and I didn't know what boundaries were either. When they are not taught to you as a child you have to learn them as an adult. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 I feel really over dramatic for making a huge goodbye thread now, lol. Young girl hysteria? lol Link to comment
oitnb Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 Young girl hysteria? lol Well, it is that time of the month... Lol But no, I do worry he'll come back and read what I post (even though he promised he wouldn't do it again) but reading what some of the other posters said made me realize, screw it. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Whichever way it shakes out, I liked you straight off the bat. And still enjoy seeing your posts. Link to comment
oitnb Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 Whichever way it shakes out, I liked you straight off the bat. And still enjoy seeing your posts. Thank you! I'm staying. I've decided my father can just get over it. Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Glad to hear you're staying. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I feel really over dramatic for making a huge goodbye thread now, lol. We have this happen every once in a while here on ENA. People start a goodbye thread, only to be back a day or two later, happily posting again, lol. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I will never say goodbye........ Ya'll are stuck with me. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I will never say goodbye........ Ya'll are stuck with me. I am very very very happy to hear that. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I like the idea of a parent thread. By now, your dad knows all the good stuff. Who cares if he reads any more. The friend who followed me here... it drove an insurmountable wedge into our friendship. The more I move past it, the more I see how many ways he was manipulating me, or trying to. How much energy I was spending protecting myself from him. It is important for you to work out this aspect of yourself, as there may be lifelong patterns that you developed as a way of relating to your father. Boundary issues tend to bleed into every part of our lives. Link to comment
oitnb Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 I like the idea of a parent thread. By now, your dad knows all the good stuff. Who cares if he reads any more. The friend who followed me here... it drove an insurmountable wedge into our friendship. The more I move past it, the more I see how many ways he was manipulating me, or trying to. How much energy I was spending protecting myself from him. It is important for you to work out this aspect of yourself, as there may be lifelong patterns that you developed as a way of relating to your father. Boundary issues tend to bleed into every part of our lives. I have huge boundary issues with both of my parents, for sure. Something I need to work on. Link to comment
luminousone Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Glad you are staying, Bah. I think you should do some threads about your periods a nod another about your sex life. Hopefully your dad will feel it is too personal for him and lay off . Eww... Here is a message for your dad, Bah: Seriously, Bah's dad- stop reading her diary. Go to a different site, if you are into forums. My son goes to Reddit and the other goes to Two Cans and a String... Link to comment
Tanzi Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 That's what I'm saying. The most you could possibly gather is that I'm 20, a female, and from the states. That's it. He was still worried though, about what anonymous people on a site, thought about his girlfriend. Wow. Exactly. Therefore can you pass on a message to your dad from me …. I couldn't care less about his gf. Sorry, but your post resonates with me because my ex-bf (bf at the time) found me on here. He didn't even know I belonged to any such site. One day he was searching for information on a matter that related to our situation/relationship and not only did the top link take him to eNA, it actually took him straight to a thread I had just posted!! I had written some pretty cringey stuff about him and I was mortified that he could read it. I felt physically sick. I felt violated even … as though my private journal was being read out to a class room of kids. However, he was more interested in what I had posted about a previous ex! The mods were very good about it. I was in a bit of a state to be honest. I changed my username and certain threads were deleted. However a few months ago we met up and he mentioned something that I am pretty sure I hadn't told him about (after all we are no longer together and our contact is now next to none). So who knows … but IDK … if he chooses to look that is his issue. I no longer care but, for a while, I was wary as to what I was posting. Glad your stick around. It would be sad if you left eNA because you dad is behaving like an immature teenager! Link to comment
Tanzi Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Thanks so much, Vic. I plan on getting into therapy soon so maybe it can help me understand some of these issues I have that always seem to pop up with my parents. It sounds to me that these issues aren't yours but your dads. It was pretty disgusting of him to snoop on you like that. You are 20 years old. You are a young woman who is entitled to her privacy. Even if he mistakingly found you, he should have the decency NOT to snoop. Finding you shouldn't have given him a green light to snoop on you. If I found a private journal under my daughter's bed, I would not read it. He made a bad choice. His bad choices are the issues. Link to comment
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