Does anyone else ever feel guilty for posting here?

[sophie274]

Um, not really, just we both have tablets and we'll be sitting next to each other on the couch or sometimes in the morning in bed together, or if im really absorbed he might look over and ask what im doing, or sometimes we use each other's ipads. Nothing weird or like he's snooping. Usually we use each other's stuff all the time but sometimes im a mama bear with my ipad and he's rather perplexed.

 

TOV, that's quite a good way to put it. I suppose I feel it's hard to explain how i really feel part of this community or why I need a community online at all and am not in the real world making friends instead.

 

Anyway ... Actually my exbf years ago (6) found out my username on here (I saw he had written it on a piece of paper in his room) and I was so upset. I wanted to change my username but didnt want to start over. I wonder if he reads my posts sometimes though I dont really care because he's completely out of my life, and good riddance.

[Fudgie]

Sophie, I think what TOV said is best. Just say that you are on a forum and it helps you to cope with issues because it's an anonymous way to talk about things and you kind of get to make friends too. That's all I'd say.

 

There's no way I could have said that to N. He wanted to get into my head space a lot and would have demanded to know no matter what I said.

 

Sent from Tapatalk

[Fudgie]

Wouldn't it be funny to meet someone by total accident on ENA and then start to develop feelings but the whole time, they know (obviously) that you are on here and there is no secret to be had? So you don't have to feel guilty? Anyone ever had that happen?

 

*laugh snorts*

[IAmFCA]

Wouldn't it be funny to meet someone by total accident on ENA and then start to develop feelings but the whole time, they know (obviously) that you are on here and there is no secret to be had? So you don't have to feel guilty? Anyone ever had that happen?

 

*laugh snorts*

 

OMG So he would KNOW everything.

 

Well, I guess that would keep me pretty well single for a long time. LOL.

 

I do sometimes feel like I write things that are way too intimate to write, especially since its part of an intimate relationship with someone else. But I write them anyway, as a way of staring at my reality starkly.

[faraday]

Wouldn't it be funny to meet someone by total accident on ENA and then start to develop feelings but the whole time, they know (obviously) that you are on here and there is no secret to be had? So you don't have to feel guilty? Anyone ever had that happen?

 

*laugh snorts*

 

I was on a different online dating forum before this one and I had the start of a relationship (but it didn't work out) with one of them....we're still really good friends...he's now on this site...we email each other several times a day.

 

 

Regarding the OP...my bf knows I post here. He thinks I'm cute and laughs about it. He likes how into the drama I get when I tell him stories from here.

 

I don't think he would ever check up on me to see what I post...but if he did, I don't think he'd be upset....I've told him I ask on here when I'm having crazy girl moments instead of talking to friends...or bombarding him with 100 texts...so I think he's down with it actually lol.

 

I was a moderator on the site I was on before...all my friends and family know...and I think that's why I get asked so many questions about dating....but I'm very transparent and don't compartmentalize much.

[Fudgie]

See, I am a compartmentalizing person when it comes to my personal self. I have been on ENA for years because this is truly one of the few places where I felt like I could be 100% myself, because it was safe.

 

I never, ever, ever would have breathed a word about this place (and haven't) to past partners. This place is really sacred to me.

 

But the aforementioned scenario, it seems, has happened to me.

[IAmFCA]

Mine doesn't know the name of the website but asked the name of my handle, just as a way of getting a giggle out of my choice. I declined, and he respected that.

 

When I first found ENA I was so excited I felt like I should share this discovery. Yeah, no, not so much! Now, I know only one friend who could find me here and he doesn't look. My stalker has left this earth, and my sexy nutty ex wouldn't bother and if he did, there is nothing here I wouldn't tell him anyway. (Which is quite curious but true. I feel safe with the man whose behavior hurt me the most. It always has been thus, and even still, if I knew nobody else who could help me but him, I believe he would help. It is just such an odd connection. Drugs are like that (speaking metaphorically.)

[Cheetarah]

I definitely don't feel guilty. But I do worry about my privacy. Not so much now, because...Well, I guess I'm tired of caring about it.

 

My ex did know I posted here as in he found me here. He didn't know this was the site, just decided to have a gander through my stuff one day. I found it really mortifying when he quoted stuff I had written in my journal. And like, he had the audacity to be pissy about the whole thing. As though he didn't go through my stuff and purposefully spend time to seek me out. Reading people's journals to get there. I never admitted it, because why should I. Of course he knew, anyway. What bothers me is that I was vague. I didn't even use initials, never locations, nothing. I do now because like I said...eh...I'm tired of worrying about it to that degree. If he wants to look, go for it.

 

But guilty? No, I was angry. Yeah, this is public domain and one could argue that. It would have been my own fault if I told him the site name and my user name and he took a gander. How could I be angry? But to seek out that info on his own, yeah. Angry. Not guilty.

[IAmFCA]

Last night my guy was like, well, how would I find a site like that? Because he has some questions he would like to explore. He needs this site, in truth he does. But of course, I just said put your questions into google and different resources will pop up. He doesn't want to find me here and I don't want him to. But if he did... well, there isn't much on here he doesn't already know....

 

And to this: "I definitely don't feel guilty. But I do worry about my privacy. Not so much now, because...Well, I guess I'm tired of caring about it." amen sister.

[Fudgie]

And to this: "I definitely don't feel guilty. But I do worry about my privacy. Not so much now, because...Well, I guess I'm tired of caring about it." amen sister.

 

I agree with this a lot.

 

I asked him if he had gone/wanted to go through my old posts. I mean, he met me here, cat's out of the bag, right? He laughed and said that was insane, a waste of time, he'd rather just talk to me. Now I don't care if he does go through them, although I don't think he would. I've really bared my soul on here but there is nothing on here that would bother me if he read. Nothing. That's a first for me.

[IAmFCA]

I agree with this a lot.

 

I asked him if he had gone/wanted to go through my old posts. I mean, he met me here, cat's out of the bag, right? He laughed and said that was insane, a waste of time, he'd rather just talk to me. Now I don't care if he does go through them, although I don't think he would. I've really bared my soul on here but there is nothing on here that would bother me if he read. Nothing. That's a first for me.

 

Wonderful. Wonderful.

 

We are who we are. As long as we are safe, the rest is just Hey, I'm out here living like everyone else.

[Fudgie]

Yeah, that's all you can really do. Feel safe, have some common sense, etc. and just go with it.

[Cheetarah]

I'm so lost right now Fudgie. Are we talking about N? Everything is whooshing over my head.

[Fudgie]

*laughs* Sent you a PM Cheet.

[Cheetarah]

I didn't get anything, Fudgie. Now I'm super confused, lol!

[Seraphim]

If people read what I have written here eh, it's nothing I wouldn't say to their face anyway.

[IAmFCA]

If people read what I have written here eh, it's nothing I wouldn't say to their face anyway.

 

Agreed. And they might be grateful I spared them all the navel gazing.

[Fudgie]

I just sent it Cheet.

 

Yeah I basically write here what I WISH I could say but alas, cannot or I feel like I can't, at least with most people.

[petite]

Everyone needs a little outlet a place where they can just express their thoughts. There is nothing wrong with keeping this place private if that's what you're comfortable with. I think if you're on here while at home and with your partner around it's a bit harder to hide it, I've personally never hidden this place from my husband from day one but I think it would be difficult to do it anyway if he's sitting right next me and I'm reading the forum while he reads his stuff.