My Day to Day Effort to Win Her Back.

[Mun]

This could be a good reason not to talk to your ex anymore.

 

Did she call you? If so then she was a bit insensitive there.

[Leges39]

i called her.....she told me she wants to stay away because she does not want to give me hope and that she wishes she could make it stop, but she cant.

[lolapop411]

Wow! You are a nice guy!

After all that you are still holding on. You give me hope to trust man and that people like you do exits in this world. You give me somehting tangibel to look for.

 

Give her space and time as she requested. She is putting her career before anything else. Let her be. Since you guys have the same friends informed them of your decision to remain "casual" and not to address both of you as a couple anymore. Seek a new outlet where you can meet new people. It will give you some air to breath and not worry about the friendships both of you have.

 

Heal your heart, your soul, your mind and if you happen to find someone else, GO FOR IT>

[Leges39]

I think that maybe at some point when I am healed from the breakup pain, I will stop writing here and maybe start a blog somewhere.

 

Last night I was out with the 20 year old and her cousin (27) who I have know for a while now. They are both very attractive asian girls. I was dating the 20 year old up to last night when she left with someone. Her cousin the 27 year old who I have liked for a long time now felt bad for me, but also told me how she feels about me…even bringing up, "how can we date if you just dated my cousin?" but I told her, "your younger cousin and I were not dating really, just hooking up. She is way to wild right now for anyone and I expected it to happen sooner or later…" we (the older cousin) danced a bit and held hands on the way home. She (the older cousin) spent the night, but we did nothing more than kiss….

 

Now if you take into consideration what I went through with the younger cousin from all the family and friends for "dating" the 20 year old and if I now end up dating the older cousin how we both feel like we are in a soap opera….my reasoning for it all really is that they are learning the younger cousin is not going to stop right now with any one man and that I was just a pit stop for her and that the older cousin and I have been friends for a good amount of time and a relationship is more possible between us.

 

The difference between this girl and all the other girls I have dated since the ex and I split, is that she and I have been close friends and it just makes a lot of sense….am I ready You may be asking, especially since my latest breakdown for a relationship with this girl? If any has a chance, it is her.

 

We talked and said some very strong things to each other. We may even take a quick trip to new york to see where it is going.

[Mun]

There are a few things I want to say, but at this point I will just wish you luck and that I hope you know what you are doing. I don't want to be judgemental...

 

Take things slow with this gal...maybe that will help you get your head on straight a bit. My 2 cents...

[Leges39]

i totally agree with you M. i just don't want to get my hopes up either.

 

came home and she had cleaned up the apartment and made the bed...how nice of her.

[Mun]

It's not your hopes I'm worried about Just give yourself a little break from all that other stuff...it tends to either cloud your judgement, make you miss your ex, all just leaving you feeling empty again.

 

I kinda feel that you are trying to fill the void your ex left with the wrong things...and it's somehow working against you. That's why I say ...slow it down buddy

[kate111]

man!!!!!!!!! did i just have a flash back of pain today....i even produced some tears after talking to the ex.....she said something...s. what do we talk about besides the weather? us. and i don't like talking about the past......OUCH!

 

Ummm what the HELL are you doing talking to the ex.

 

You will NEVER get over her if you keep up this behaviour.

 

In my opinion you are back to square 1 AGAIN!

[Leges39]

yes and no.....it comes and goes....the wedding thing just had me in a bad place....i feel better now, but i am distracted....

 

thanks kate.

[Leges39]

Funny thing, this love for another person you are no longer dating. Even though the 3 year relationship is over and you know there is no chance for reconciliation, there is this burning desire to be in their presense and have their attention. You yearn for one more moment in time where you meant the world to them. Like the moment you share in their arms at the front door of your home. Boy, if you could just go back in time and cherish them and never let them go. Never let it get out of hand and end.

 

It was a year ago this week that I accepted my ex girlfriends desire to move out of our apartment and ultimately end the relationship. It was a year ago that we sat down and discussed what it was she would take with her. 'I would really like to take the little pink cabinet in the bathroom. It is a part of us I would like to have," she said. It was a year ago I watched her as she packed up the pots and pans I was so happy to use. It was a year ago that she shuffled through the cds, pulling hers out of the stacks. It was a year ago that we cried in each other's arms in the kitchen we loved so much. We cried over the loss we would feel. The loss of what we had together. The fear of what was to come.

 

We tried to hold on and even went to counseling, but it ended. It was hard on both of us, I know that now, but more so for me for my love for her was stronger. I always joked with her in the beginning that I loved her more. I must have sensed it from the start. Soon after the breakup we tried to be friends. Unfortunately, I always wanted more and was blind to see it was really over, causing conflict and ultimately the end of our communication. We no longer call each other, just to talk. Those days are forever gone.

 

Now, as I continue to move on without her in my life, the pain of her loss is softening. I do not think about her constantly or see her ghosts as much those places we knew. A song or two may still tug at me and seeing her will definitely, but I am discovering new love, keeping busy, and healthy. Occasionally I will drink and smoke to much, sparked by how much I loved her, but time has slowly begun to heal.

 

My downstairs neighbor is having a one year anniversary party in labor day weekend and wants two things. The first is to use my apartment as well, which I am happy to do. The second she has not discussed yet, but I know what it is. My ex and I went to their wedding a year ago just before it ended, and she wants to invite her to the party. I shouldn't have a problem and I should be able to handle it, especially if the ex can and does not care, but I still get this rush to my head of anxiety when we are in the same place. To hear her voice and laugh within or so close to what was our home will be hard for me, but it really is not my choice.

 

Of course I would feel uncomfortable, especially if she brought a boy, which she probably wouldn't do, but the fact is that I would also be uncomfortable if she was not asked to attend.

 

I will be supportive of her attendance and just deal with it. This will undoubtedly spark my loss again, but it is all part of living.

[DragonGirl724]

okay, can i just say something....dude, YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO WIN BACK SOMEONE'S LOVE! LOVE IS NOT A GAME YOU CAN WIN! LOVE IS A MUTUAL THING! UNDERSTAND THAT! to spend a year tryin to get back an ex sounds overly obsessive. id be so weirded out if someone posted 40 some odd pages on 'how to win me back' (and if YOU had an ex that was obsessing on how to win YOU back, you wouldnt be a little set back from any of it? like 'whoaaaa...' ). in my honest opinion you are driving yourself to the nuthouse. get a new hobby besides dwelling on the past. do yourself a favor & get out of this rut already.

 

its simply NOT HEALTHY to live in the past.

 

-DG724

[eva1218]

DragonGirl,

 

You might never experienced what we have been. You might never loved the way we loved.

 

I found him totally acceptable from my point of view.

Coz I would feel exactly the same as him.....

 

A year, might sound so long to u......

but a year, might not be that long to us..

 

Cpxsim,

 

Me and my ex broke up a year ago(5years relationship), and I haven't seen him since then(due to we were LDR).

 

I've moved on too, got a bf..

 

But I just can understand u......totally..

 

Take care,

 

Eva

[DragonGirl724]

ACTUALLY i have! it was the reason why 2 yrs ago i joined this forum. but i didnt LET IT last this long, this can be controlled to a point. if you give in to 'the comfort of your misery' & find it to be your new norm then the longer itll take to snap out of it!

 

so do yourself a favor & realize there is no method to win back someone's love.

 

link removed

 

his ex is his anchor to his ship keeping him in this one lonely spot & restricting him from moving on & exploring what life AND NEW LOVE has to offer! let the anchor go & release yourself from this misery already!

 

live. love. learn. and let go.

 

-DG724

[Leges39]

nope, i am not trying to win her back anymore...i stopped many months ago. i was just unloading after months of not thinking much about it.

 

i am more sane then i have been in a long while. every day is better, i just wanted to express my repressed feelings.

[eva1218]

same here, the day I decided to move on, the day I decided to stay with this current bf, I had no more intention to win the ex back.

Although I still love the ex, and think about him everyday..

(i know it sounds pathetic, but...I can't deny the feeling I have)

 

Have a good day!

 

Eva

[DragonGirl724]

well, if you think about an ex every day & claim to still love him, how do you figure that youre over him???? just because you decide to have a new BF doesnt mean your over your last one, b/c if you LOVE someone else then why are you even with the new guy anyway? maybe its just me but i dont think thats fair to the new guy...

 

-DG724

[fantasia2004]

dragongirl,

 

you have given many a tongue lashing, even me!

 

must you be so harsh with reality ?

 

or is honesty is the best policy?

[DragonGirl724]

.....WHAT???

 

what did i say that was wrong?? if you are still in love with your ex you are NOT over them....whats not to understand?

and i do believe you & i spoke a while ago for many of hours/days etc about your ex & even you said i have helped you out so i dont know WHAT youre talking about.

 

send me a PM with quotes of my 'toungue lashing' & what topic because i know i havent.

 

anyway, take my opinion or dont, if you are in love & constantly thinking of your ex you are NOT over him/her. and how would you feel if your current BF/GF was 'over their ex' but still in love with them & constantly thinking about them...not very fair is it?!

 

-DG724

[DragonGirl724]

nope, i am not trying to win her back anymore...i stopped many months ago. i was just unloading after months of not thinking much about it.

 

i am more sane then i have been in a long while. every day is better, i just wanted to express my repressed feelings.

 

good, its best people understand you can not and should not want to WIN anyone's love. it HAS to be mutual for it to be real & be even at all successful.

 

-DG724

[eva1218]

Dragon girl,

 

I never said that I'm over my ex. I know what "over" exactly means.

I won't fool myself..that I'm over him coz the new relationship.

 

And it is not fair to my current bf.

But I don't think things can always be fair in life, we always have an ideal way......but the reality always different.

And I love my current bf too, I have feelings for him, but we are just started.....relationship need to be build up by time.

You can't cut things out like it never existed, 5years with my ex; 2.5month with current bf. I think its kind of normal...to feel the way I feel?!

So as Cpxsim, I just can understand how he feels........

if my ex will show up.....I would feel the same as him..

 

Sometimes, someone just will always take some space in your heart...even after a long long time.

The love didn't end when the relationship ended...it kind of go on...

but u get over the pain, hurt...blablabla...

and move on, life goes on...as simple as that.

 

Eva

[eva1218]

look at how many pages Cpxsim wrote?

43 pages!!! All of that only related to ONE person.

Time passed by, things have changed, we have changed....

 

But I was touched by Cpxsim love, i found him similar as me...

that's why i left some of my feelings....

 

Eva

[DragonGirl724]

well, i just hope for YOUR SAKE that YOUR BOYFRIEND isnt in love with someone else, b/c damn youd have every right to feel irate about it. read some of the posts on this forum, there are some that are in your BF's position, "My BF/GF 'loves me' but is still in love with his/her EX". id say its pretty hurtful. i dont see a point really as to bringing in a new love when the old one is still in the picture, b/c i highly doubt youd like it if the tables were turned.

 

but whatever.

 

-DG724

[darkblue]

I can't see the reasoning in dragging up this past - which, no matter how you may see it, will harm your current and possibly future relationships.

 

Let it go - in the name of all that's holy; it was a year ago.

[brando]

Sometimes bringing up the past is the only way to heal from it.

 

By not dealing with it is a sure fire way of hurting all future relationships.

 

Changing partners is one thing but sometimes you end up doing the same dance. All becuase some people never learn form their mistakes.

 

I am not conveying dwelling in the past, but it is needed to be revisited sometimes in order to move toward the future.

[eva1218]

It's not that trying to dragging the past.....and we let go long time ago...

 

It is only an exsiting feelings we still have for the ex.

U let go, u cut them off from ur life completely...try to be recovered from all the heartbroken. It just doesn't equal to NO more feelings. It just doesn't mean that they no longer take any space in your heart.

 

I know I'm not completely healed from the previous relationship. But I know I'm trying my best to live day by day and my new relationship. My days mostly happy...sometimes down..., everytime when I look back to last 12months...I couldn't be any happier I've made this far.

 

Sorry, Cpxsim I was only meant to say I would understand and feel the same as u if in ur shoes. I didn't mean to bring my story into here.

 

Eva