nice guys AND good guys finish last?

[Blue Spiral]

irregardless of if she "goes" for the bad boys, nearly all women would love to shag the bad boys, probably more than you, the guy she is dating. She may like being with you, but her eyes are wandering and fantasies are playing out in her head. And the "bad boys" know this. They know their influence. So, in response, a women who is attracted to bad boys does not mean she is a bad catch, just means she is a normal woman acting on her impulses.

 

I agree. It's normal for women to be attracted to excessive male confidence (bad boys), just as it's normal for men to be attracted to excessive female beauty. I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with women being attracted to "bad boys". If that's what they like, more power to 'em. My issue is when people claim they want one thing and go after another. If I said I wanted a serious relationship, but went after women that were clearly not cut out for a relationship, serious-minded women would be right to call me on it. The same applies here.

 

The truth is, both genders try to fit square pegs into round holes. Women want serious relationship guys and primal confidence, and men want stable no-drama girls and physical beauty. But we inadvertently reveal our priorities when we try to get what we want. Women find men with a dangerous degree of confidence and try to "civilize" them into functioning in a serious relationship, and men find physically-attractive women and just sort of blithely hope they can function in a serious relationship. If we really meant what we said, we'd do the opposite...but there are some things that can't be taught, so to speak. You can't make someone else be confident or attractive. Everyone has two sides to them; the qualities that are built-in/natural, and the qualities that are learned. We go after the people with the built-in/natural qualities, and hope they'll learn what we want them to. So women go after bad boys, and men go after attractive women, and the relationships tend to not work out.

[Blue Spiral]

IDK, at least in my experience the only people (male or female) who get stressed out by your basic dating/relationship dynamic have very weak/brittle egos. If you have a strong, healthy, sense of self certain things can suck but you don't dwell on them.

 

EDIT: I consider 98% of the population to be impossible to date or have a relationship with, so I have to be very comfortable with being single for long periods of time and going through the dating dance and rejection.

 

I'm definitely weak. Apparently, I am the 98%. to work on Occupy ENA signs

[radiohead20]

Very good point.

 

of course, you could just do the "marry the nice financial stable guy while getting banged by the Mixed martial arts rebel fighter on the side" so you get the whole package. (or "bang the local sorority girl on the side while your wife ages and loses her natural beauty").

 

I would love it if women admitted that they feel insatiable lust towards men with overtly confident personalities and rebellious characteristics since this is what the evidence proves time and time again for 95% of women (give or take a few %). Men are fine with admitting they love a young women in tight yoga pants.

[Moontiger]

Very good point.

 

of course, you could just do the "marry the nice financial stable guy while getting banged by the Mixed martial arts rebel fighter on the side" so you get the whole package. (or "bang the local sorority girl on the side while your wife ages and loses her natural beauty").

 

I would love it if women admitted that they feel insatiable lust towards men with overtly confident personalities and rebellious characteristics since this is what the evidence proves time and time again for 95% of women (give or take a few %). Men are fine with admitting they love a young women in tight yoga pants.

 

Ya, cuz all of the woman in the world (at, I guess 95% of them) have conspired to lie to you about what we want. Girls! He know about the secret meetings! Abandon the base! We will re-group at a secondary location, I will send the coordinates at 0800 hours.

[SapphireNoir10]

How about we stop putting labels on people?

 

A 'good guy' is capable of bad actions. A 'bad boy' is capable of good actions.

 

People should just be labeled as people. End of. Everyone is so vastly different I think it does everyone a disservice to try and fit them into one box.

 

Why don't we just focus on the 'individual' rather than what label we want to put on them.

 

For example. A guy might seem like a 'bad guy' to a woman. However another woman may see him as a 'good guy'

 

I hate stereotypes

[Batya33]

Very good point.

 

of course, you could just do the "marry the nice financial stable guy while getting banged by the Mixed martial arts rebel fighter on the side" so you get the whole package. (or "bang the local sorority girl on the side while your wife ages and loses her natural beauty").

 

I would love it if women admitted that they feel insatiable lust towards men with overtly confident personalities and rebellious characteristics since this is what the evidence proves time and time again for 95% of women (give or take a few %). Men are fine with admitting they love a young women in tight yoga pants.

 

Not me. I gravitated -for serious relationships - to men who had quiet confidence and humility and who were more reserved.

 

I showed my husband a photo of our friend's husband who was photographed the other day with two cheerleaders from a major football team. I asked him if that would make him happy and he said no. And he meant it.

[mhowe]

Agree with this...quiet confidence and humility, kind and sense of humor. Serious lust.

Not me. I gravitated -for serious relationships - to men who had quiet confidence and humility and who were more reserved.

 

I showed my husband a photo of our friend's husband who was photographed the other day with two cheerleaders from a major football team. I asked him if that would make him happy and he said no. And he meant it.

[superfan]

I would love it if women admitted that they feel insatiable lust towards men with overtly confident personalities and rebellious characteristics since this is what the evidence proves time and time again for 95% of women (give or take a few %). Men are fine with admitting they love a young women in tight yoga pants.

 

Umm, but I DON'T feel 'insatiable lust' towards men with overtly confident personalities. My husband is very shy and introverted and I find that to be incredibly endearing and sweet. He has confidence, but it is NOT a boisterous confidence - it is a quiet, self assured confidence that comes from him knowing who he is and what he wants from life. He hates being the centre of attention and will go out of his way to avoid being noticed if he can. To me, that is sexy - that inherent self awareness.

 

I am not sure where the "evidence" is, especially since every time someone starts a thread like this, people (like me) will come on and state that their preferences are not for this kind of man. I have NEVER been in a relationship with a "bad boy" and never ever would. I find arrogance, cockiness and the so-called "rebel" attitude to be a complete turn-off.

[superfan]

Ya, cuz all of the woman in the world (at, I guess 95% of them) have conspired to lie to you about what we want. Girls! He know about the secret meetings! Abandon the base! We will re-group at a secondary location, I will send the coordinates at 0800 hours.

 

Uh-oh we've been discovered...abort! ABORT!

[allcity]

I would love it if women admitted that they feel insatiable lust towards men with overtly confident personalities and rebellious characteristics.

 

So, basically, you just want everyone to tell you that you're right!?

 

There's a big difference between women being attracted to men with confidence and rebellious characteristics, and women ONLY wanting to date those types of guys, while causing so-called 'nice guys' to finish last.

 

Hell, I love confidence and rebellious characteristics in a woman but that doesn't mean for a second that I haven't also been very attracted to shy women with no edge or rebelliousness to them at all.

 

These kind of threads and the men that start them/agree with them deal far too much in absolutes, which is really pretty immature and shows a great deal of inexperience in life, love and just general experience of people.

 

If you think that you can state as fact what 95% of women in the world feel/want, despite the fact that you're not a woman AND around 100% of women in this thread have told you that you're wrong, it shows a great deal of arrogance and ignorance on your part to keep assuming that you still somehow know better.

 

I've known a lot of good-looking, charismatic, bad-boy types and for every woman that was enamored by them, at least nine others were repulsed by them. These guys just didn't care about the rejection and kept on regardless, which is a big part of why those kind of guys often LOOK like they're doing great...because they don't mind getting rejected by 90 women, in order to date ten others.

 

Meanwhile the 'nice guys' are too scared to risk rejection more than once or twice, so they never get anywhere...and then they think that it's because they're nice guys. Rejection and potential heartache go with the territory when you're dating. Either get a thicker skin or get of the game, because everyone gets burned at one time or another. EVERYONE!

 

But when you find that right person, you see how worthwhile it all was.

[Seraphim]

Very good point.

 

of course, you could just do the "marry the nice financial stable guy while getting banged by the Mixed martial arts rebel fighter on the side" so you get the whole package. (or "bang the local sorority girl on the side while your wife ages and loses her natural beauty").

 

I would love it if women admitted that they feel insatiable lust towards men with overtly confident personalities and rebellious characteristics since this is what the evidence proves time and time again for 95% of women (give or take a few %). Men are fine with admitting they love a young women in tight yoga pants.

 

Now the posting is hitting the level of ridiculous.

[mhowe]

Crap...I really like it here. We have to move again?

[superfan]

irregardless of if she "goes" for the bad boys, nearly all women would love to shag the bad boys, probably more than you, the guy she is dating. She may like being with you, but her eyes are wandering and fantasies are playing out in her head. And the "bad boys" know this. They know their influence. So, in response, a women who is attracted to bad boys does not mean she is a bad catch, just means she is a normal woman acting on her impulses.

 

And yes, men also do this, but with very young women.

 

My husband is about as far away from being a "bad boy" as you get. And no, I would not like to "shag" anybody "more" than him - and how insulting to have that implied. Your comments are painting an entire gender with incredibly broad strokes that do not allow for individual choice or preference to come into play. Are there women out there who are very attracted to "bad boys"? Yes, absolutely nobody is denying that.

 

I am sure there are women out there who will never be satisfied with a stable, normal guy. However, there are also MANY women (myself included) who are repulsed by these so-called "bad boys" and would not ever consider them a dating prospect. I certainly don't fantasize about anybody but my husband (unless you include celebrities lol). That implies that I "settled" for him, while secretly wanting someone/something else.

 

I didn't and I don't. He is the very antithesis of a "bad boy" and that is WHY I love him. He is strong, reliable, quietly confident and compatible for me every way. SOME women make bad choices, and SOME men make bad choices. This does not mean ALL women do.

[Moontiger]

Crap...I really like it here. We have to move again?

 

I know mhowe, I promise at the next base you can pick the color we paint the walls. But as you can seen Radiohead and Blue Spiral have found us. How can we continue are plans of world domination and the subduing of all men if they know where the base is? I'm sure you will like the new base.

[Cheetarah]

tvnerd, I feel like I know your husband as often as I've heard you recount your experiences in threads like these. haha - That's how often this whole thing gets rehashed. I don't know why you bother, these minds are set. Though your intentions are acknowledged!

 

The postings hit the level of ridiculous a long time ago. Can't we all just sit in a circle in a day of spiritual examination, perhaps a few choruses of kumbaya to set the tone?

[mhowe]

Can I bring the hot, ballsy lifeguard without a brain in his head?

[mhowe]

tvnerd, I feel like I know your husband as often as I've heard you recount your experiences in threads like these. haha - That's how often this whole thing gets rehashed. I don't know why you bother, these minds are set. Though your intentions are acknowledged!

 

The postings hit the level of ridiculous a long time ago. Can't we all just sit in a circle in a day of spiritual examination, perhaps a few choruses of kumbaya to set the tone?

 

I LOVE a good resounding chorus of kumbaya!! Count me in!

[SapphireNoir10]

Thread has run its course.