My ex has blocked me on everything

[dark angel9]

We broke up 1.5 years ago after a serious live in relationship. More accurately he dumped me. It was out of the blue and he was really cold and cruel about it.

 

I admit for some time afterwards, I sent him some angry messages about what kind of person can just cut someone off coldly like that...along those lines. He always responded coldly and calmly.

 

I haven't contacted him in the last 4 months at all. I found out that he recently blocked me on FB and that he also blocked me on dating sites that we both have accounts on. I never contacted him through those sites.

 

I never wanted him back, it just bothered me the way he cut me off....and I could understand if he blocked me at the time of sending angry messages. But after 4 months of NC, what inspired him to block me? I am just curious of the reasoning.

[Cheetarah]

Because you did contact him for nearly a year after. Preemptive measures.

[beaton]

I would say, that after 1.5 years of being broken up, he wants to move on with his life. He's probably just making sure that you can't contact him should you decide to. Who knows though what he's thinking- and ask yourself, does it really matter?

 

I had an ex who did that to me as well. It really bothered me at first, I felt so betrayed. It's actually the best favor he could ever do for you. The less you know about him, the faster he will fade from your reality, and the faster you will heal.

[iam42]

were you sending him angry messages for over a year? if so, he may take feel like things have calmed down sufficiently for him to move forward in his life. and he doesn't want to risk any further contact.

 

how do you know that you are blocked by the way? NC includes cyber contact and following cyber activities.

[Martian]

Could be two things:

 

1) He is trying to get over you and by blocking you, he is speeding up the healing process.

2) He doesn't want anything to do with you.

 

The first one seems more plausible.

[dark angel9]

Because you did contact him for nearly a year after. Preemptive measures.

 

I would say, that after 1.5 years of being broken up, he wants to move on with his life. He's probably just making sure that you can't contact him should you decide to. Who knows though what he's thinking- and ask yourself, does it really matter?

 

I had an ex who did that to me as well. It really bothered me at first, I felt so betrayed. It's actually the best favor he could ever do for you. The less you know about him, the faster he will fade from your reality, and the faster you will heal.

 

I feel this is correct. My messages were not nice, not along the lines of wanting him back, just unleashing anger of how he treated me during the relationship and break up. I can imagine they weren't pleasant to read so perhaps he doesn't want to risk getting more of them.

[Moontiger]

My question is: why do you care? The relationship was a year and a half ago. I suspect that you still have some feelings for him. Nothing wrong with that but you do need to be honest with yourself is you want to move on.

[sara-pezzini]

Could be two things:

 

1) He is trying to get over you and by blocking you, he is speeding up the healing process.

2) He doesn't want anything to do with you.

 

The first one seems more plausible.

 

or the third option and for me the most logical, he met someone else and wants to start a new relationship without possible baggage from the old one....he let you vent for months with the angry mails and he didn't block you but now he did when things are calm? then to me it makes the most sense that he met someone else

[Ms Darcy]

I feel this is correct. My messages were not nice, not along the lines of wanting him back, just unleashing anger of how he treated me during the relationship and break up. I can imagine they weren't pleasant to read so perhaps he doesn't want to risk getting more of them.

 

I would agree with this. He's probably ready now to just end that chapter in his life completely. He may be seeing someone else and wants a clean start. He may feel like enough time (4 months NC) has gone by for you both to move on. He may have forgotten about blocking you until now. No matter what, it's all about his desire to move forward. I think you should do your best not to take it personally.

[Tanzi]

Could be two things:

 

1) He is trying to get over you and by blocking you, he is speeding up the healing process.

2) He doesn't want anything to do with you.

 

The first one seems more plausible.

 

I would say it is more likely the second one. He ended the relationship 1.5 years ago. I suspect he moved on a long time ago.

 

I feel this is correct. My messages were not nice, not along the lines of wanting him back, just unleashing anger of how he treated me during the relationship and break up. I can imagine they weren't pleasant to read so perhaps he doesn't want to risk getting more of them.

 

I can understand sending one or two angry emails in the immediate aftermath of a BU but for almost a year? Perhaps he enjoyed the silence and wants to make sure you don't break it.

 

I am also wondering why, after 1.5 years, you are are bothered.

[abitbroken]

Good. I am glad that your ex blocked you so now you can move on and heal. You obviously keep checking his Facebook or Twitter or MSN or whatever all this time because otherwise how would you know you were blocked. Sorry to sound so brusque, but this is a blessing in disguise for you.

[ParisPaulette]

But after 4 months of NC, what inspired him to block me? I am just curious of the reasoning.

 

Could be a few things. a) He got a sort of twitsted pleasure out of you continue to be so angry with him for so long and got angry that you'd dared to move on and stop trying to contact him or b) guilty conscience and the fear that someone he's trying to impress might inadvertently run into you and find out what he did or c) finally decided he couldn't take not knowing when the next email full of anger would hit him and took proactive moves after someone else told him he could just block you rather than read it all and feel bad.

 

The real question is why on earth didn't you block him from all those things to begin with? I mean, cripes who wants to be friends even in social media land with someone like that. It's been over a year and you need to purge him from your life and consider you're both even. He was a d*** in how he broke up with you and you proceeded to give him a enough grief that eventually he decided he wants you blocked. Tell yourself what's done is done and go have a good life where you find a good man instead. That's a much, much better investment of your time.

[dark angel9]

Thanks guys, appreciate the replies.

 

I only disagree with the fact that I still care about him. I do/did check his social media but I actually do that with all my exs, even those from many years ago. Personally, I am naturally curious about how their life turned out and it doesn't have anything to do with my feelings for them. With all the other exs, I am on good terms with. With this one, I was hoping that he will apologize for how he treated me so that I can let go of the anger I still carry. I feel a lot better when there is peaceful resolution. But, it's not to be and I need to put the whole mess behind me.

[abitbroken]

If you didn't care, you wouldn't be checking up or curious about him. I am not saying you care as in want him back. But you care about being blockd, don't you??

[TheD87]

I blocked my ex on facebook, the dating site we met on and deleted her phone number from my phone one night when I felt like contacting her after our breakup. I did it to make sure I wouldn't do something I regret and so those options wouldn't be as easily accessible so it would be easier to move on. Might have nothing to do with you.

[dark angel9]

If you didn't care, you wouldn't be checking up or curious about him. I am not saying you care as in want him back. But you care about being blockd, don't you??

 

I guess I don't want to be seen as a stalker or someone that needs to be blocked. I probably got carried away with my angry messages. Still, I feel he deserved them and perhaps it's better to torch that bridge or good.

[Tanzi]

Thanks guys, appreciate the replies.

 

I only disagree with the fact that I still care about him. I do/did check his social media but I actually do that with all my exs, even those from many years ago. Personally, I am naturally curious about how their life turned out and it doesn't have anything to do with my feelings for them. With all the other exs, I am on good terms with. With this one, I was hoping that he will apologize for how he treated me so that I can let go of the anger I still carry. I feel a lot better when there is peaceful resolution. But, it's not to be and I need to put the whole mess behind me.

 

I guess I don't want to be seen as a stalker or someone that needs to be blocked. I probably got carried away with my angry messages. Still, I feel he deserved them and perhaps it's better to torch that bridge or good.

 

When my ex-husband left me for OW I wanted so many answers and I was analysing and over-analysing every little thing he did and said. However, at the point where I had emotionally moved on from him, I couldn't care less what he did anymore. After a while we added each other as friends on Facebook (his relationship with the OW had since broken up). We have 3 children together so have remained on good terms and I am still very close to his family. Having him on Facebook wasn't a problem because I am now unaffected by his actions and, as I said, we are on friendly terms. When he started seeing someone else he deleted me from Facebook. It didn't bother me and I didn't need to question it. He can do what he wants as regards Facebook etc.

 

What I am trying to say is that, if someone has to question their ex's actions, then they must still have some emotional attachment to them. I am naturally curious too. I think that is perfectly normal. I have looked up long lost friends and boyfriends just to see how their lives have turned out but this is a guy that you continued to send angry emails to for 11 months after he broke up with you. Contacting him has obviously been a hard habit to break and, even now, you still feel like going back there. I also don't think you NEED to question why he blocked you as it seems fairly obvious to me that he doesn't want to receive anymore of these emails from you now that they have stopped.

 

I'm not sure he deserved a whole 11 months of angry emails to be honest. Lots of relationships break-up and if he wasn't emotionally invested in the relationship he had no choice but to break up with you. Granted he may not have done it in the best way (I really don't know the story) but, nevertheless, after the initial shock, pain and anger we need to let go and leave them to get on with their lives so that we can get on with ours.

 

I do hope for your sake that you will let this go and not worry about him anymore. After all it has now been 1.5 years since you broke up.

[Blue_Skirt]

He is your ex, he wants to move on with his life, so blocking you from everywhere is the best thing to help him move forward.

[dark angel9]

I get what few of you were saying but I don't really feel any emotional attachment. I never missed him, or imagined us back together or felt any longing. I was never even that depressed when we broke up, never stayed in bed crying, just kind of moved forward with my life. I dated lots too and still do.

 

I just felt a lot of anger at how he treated me and a lot of anger at myself for allowing him to treat me that way.

 

There is a place that we both used to frequent where we met and I heard from friends that he still goes to that place a lot. I never went there again, because I had no desire to see him (even though it would be reasonable for me to go there occasionally).

 

I am not sure why his blocking me bothers me, maybe it's just the ego thing.

[Cheetarah]

On bad days I've questioned why even an acquaintance would do the same thing. I think you're right in that it's probably an ego thing. Personalizing it to the nth degree.

Feelings of "rejection" and all that.

 

If you are free of the emotional attachment, soon enough you'll be asking yourself why that was even significant enough for you to question.

[nutbrownhare]

NC is a very effective way of moving on with your life - looking forward rather than backwards. He's done for you what you should have done for yourself.

 

(Also, how would you feel about receiving angry messages for a year? I have to say I'd have blocked you!)

 

Use this as an opportunity to put him behind you, with no temptation to check up on him or in any other way jeopardise your own healing - and put your energy into living well and positively!

[Tanzi]

Well, I would think that you had made your point in the last 11 months. Did he ever respond to any of your emails?

 

Evidently you have managed to let that anger go in the last 4 months so I really wouldn't dwell on this. Continue to work on staying away from any form of contact with him ... and that includes checking up on him with friends or on facebook or trying to find out if or why you have been blocked.

 

If you really aren't attatched to him emotionally in any way then it should be easy for you to break this habit.

[learning112]

 

(Also, how would you feel about receiving angry messages for a year? I have to say I'd have blocked you!)

I also send my ex angry messages, saying how he's terrible for going from 1) telling me I'm the love of his life to 2) saying he "has to" marry someone else according to his parents, adn instead of fighting for me, suggesting that I stand by and be his "best friend for life" and watch him go through this "forced" marriage. He hasn't blocked me! Which makes me think your ex blocked you because he met someone else, not just because he felt guilty receiving your messages.

[Tanzi]

I also send my ex angry messages, saying how he's terrible for going from 1) telling me I'm the love of his life to 2) saying he "has to" marry someone else according to his parents, adn instead of fighting for me, suggesting that I stand by and be his "best friend for life" and watch him go through this "forced" marriage. He hasn't blocked me! Which makes me think your ex blocked you because he met someone else, not just because he felt guilty receiving your messages.

 

That's because he is hoping that one day you will be his best friend for life.

[learning112]

That's because he is hoping that one day you will be his best friend for life.

What guy in his right mind would think i'll agree to be downgraded, from "love of his life" to hidden woman on the side? BS.