Batya33 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Well on your opinion of your boss's decision well - he's the boss. Period. I tried to explain to people who worked with me why I was asking them to go the extra mile and while I often was successful in making them understand why, if I couldn't my default had to be "sorry, we have to get this done in this way at this time" -otherwise the work wouldn't get done. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 Well on your opinion of your boss's decision well - he's the boss. Period. I tried to explain to people who worked with me why I was asking them to go the extra mile and while I often was successful in making them understand why, if I couldn't my default had to be "sorry, we have to get this done in this way at this time" -otherwise the work wouldn't get done. This is asking more than an extra mile. I have to give up my own life for 2 weeks. And what am I supposed to do when I get there? I'm supposed to analyze what the problem is. I don't need to fly there to tell him that they don't have enough people - the team is half the size it was when it was here - so they are forced to work 15, 20 hour days, then they get sick end up quitting and then they hire someone brand new that knows nothing about the job. Lather, rinse, repeat. Been going on for 6 years. My flying there is not going to stop the explotation that is going on in the Philippines. Link to comment
contrase Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 IMO my going there will not change a thing. The people there will still not be able to do the work. I am really upset with my boss that he can't see that. That's completely irrelevant. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 That's completely irrelevant. Not really - his plan of action to remedy the situation not only will not work, it is causing me great distress and will most likely put me out on stress related disability. It will be relevent then, when he has no one to do the work at all. I have been having one anxiety attack after another since this all happened. I didn't go to work today and I had several important meetings that I just blew off because I am home sick today. There is no one who can take my place at these meetings so they will have to wait until I recover. He can't fire me for calling out sick, especially when he is the one causing me to feel ill. Link to comment
contrase Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 You gotta get a grip before you lose your job. Everyone is expendable. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 You are letting many people down and you haven't even flown yet. Not good. What good are you to the company now? You aren't. Get help for this and get a grip. If the company fails because of you, then what will you do? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 This is asking more than an extra mile. I have to give up my own life for 2 weeks. And what am I supposed to do when I get there? I'm supposed to analyze what the problem is. I don't need to fly there to tell him that they don't have enough people - the team is half the size it was when it was here - so they are forced to work 15, 20 hour days, then they get sick end up quitting and then they hire someone brand new that knows nothing about the job. Lather, rinse, repeat. Been going on for 6 years. My flying there is not going to stop the explotation that is going on in the Philippines. Then this is not the job for you. I gave up my life for far more than two weeks during my career. That's what going the extra mile entails sometimes. If you think you deserve higher pay or more vacation time in exchange for the trip then ask for it after the trip during your annual or semi-annual review so you can describe concretely why you deserve a higher salary or other benefit for going the extra mile. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 He can't fire me for calling out sick, especially when he is the one causing me to feel ill. How about not being a team player and throwing hissy fits? You need to take a step back and start to look at this in a rational manner. You are not irreplacable, and you are not being asked to do something that is unreasonable. Link to comment
turnera Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 You weren't hired 13 years ago to do this (traveling) job. That's true. But your company just went through massive reorganization, meaning that EVERY job was up for inspection, and every job was open for redescription. You were the only one kept in your division. You're extremely lucky you're even still there earning a paycheck of THEIR money. If you're gonna find a new job, fine. But you're still employed by someone who expects you to EARN their money. People who stress themselves out and just blow off work - especially when they hamstring several important meetings where OTHER people needed to get their own work done - just because they can't 'deal' with things quickly become non-viable employees. Link to comment
Generation Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Don't lose your job cause of this. You're going to have a very hard time finding a new job, and this will set you back tremendously. 20 hours of pain vs. financial set backs and stress that can last months or years. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 You gotta get a grip before you lose your job. Everyone is expendable. All I did is take a sick day. My boss called out sick last week and so did another team member. Actually this team member has called out sick over 15 times this year. This is only my 3rd sick day all year. I can't believe the attitudes on here. Obviously none of you have phobias. Asking me to leave my 6 year old son and fly half way accross the world for 2 weeks is a big deal. I go way above and beyond in this job, i work many nights and weekends and over time. It is a job - it is not my life. My child is my life and to be away from him for 2 weeks at this tender age is asking a lot. I have given 13 years to this company - I think I am entitled to one sick/stress day. Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Is it possible for you to take your son on the trip? Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 Is it possible for you to take your son on the trip? I suppose that I could but it would be hard for me to take care of him on the plane if I am heavily drugged. Not to mention I think a plane ticket is really expensive to get there. I would have to see if they are willing to pay for his. I think they might have to if I say I don't have an alternative. I am not afraid to be fired. Unlike the many people that have responded on here - I don't believe that there is only one job in this world that I am capable of getting and doing well. And its not that I am not a team player, I work overtime all the time. This is about a sever phobia, one might even say it is a disability. I have given above and beyond for 13 years at this company - do they give a damn about me? obviously not. And if they don't need me, if I am expendable, they why don't they get someone else to make the trip? They can't because I am the only one left that knows the process - they already fired everyone else. I'm not saying I'm not expendable, they could hire someone that could eventually figure things out - but that would take a long time and a lot of hard work on their part - the new person certainly wouldn't be able to fly to the philippinnes next month and get the job done, thats for sure. Link to comment
turnera Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 It's not that you took a sick day. It's that you took a sick day to kind of snub your nose at them for putting you under so much stress. You even admit that you left everyone hanging; sorry, but that's not professional. I take a mental health day once in a while; but I ALWAYS make sure it's a day when it won't affect ANYONE. I'm sorry you didn't get the answers you wanted (after the first round of people), but you're a single mother heading into the second round of this recession. You've SEEN how many people are getting laid off. Unless you've got a great reserve in your mom financially, you need to take this more seriously and FIND a way to deal with it. People who are laid off are not finding jobs for YEARS. The government has had to extend unemployment benefits 3 or 4 times in the past 4 years because NO ONE is getting jobs. And this whole issue is because of something that happened to you 20 years ago and you don't even know if it's gonna happen again! Yes it sucks that they expect a lot of overtime and all, and you're a single mom, but guess what? I know many many people (me included) who are working two jobs, sacrificing a LOT just to keep their bills paid and not get fired. A lot of people would kill for your job. And you're complaining. Will you teach your daughter to walk away from things she doesn't like or is afraid of, or find a solution? Link to comment
turnera Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 do they give a damn about me? obviously not. Welcome to the real world, Daisy. And if they don't need me, if I am expendable, they why don't they get someone else to make the trip? They can't because I am the only one left that knows the process - they already fired everyone else. I'm not saying I'm not expendable, they could hire someone that could eventually figure things out - but that would take a long time and a lot of hard work on their part - the new person certainly wouldn't be able to fly to the philippinnes next month and get the job done, thats for sure.So instead of quitting, why don't you go to them, explain the 'disability' and ask them to pay for counseling to get you through it? Show you're valuable by working to find a solution. Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Could they be using this to get you out of your job? I sympathize with you. If the place is so worried, they should assist you by Paying for your kid's ticket. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 If it's a disability, get a doctor's letter saying that. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 i don't know if you are afraid of turbulence or what, but the longer the flight, the bigger the plane, the nicer the flight is. things have changed in the last 20 years. sure, there are more pat downs/screenings etc to get on the plane, but the international flights have many movies/tv shows to distract you. the little "puddle jumper" 20-30 minute flights i sometimes take are usually the ones that are most turbulent and scare me the most! international? i'll take it!! if you were to go, would someone be able to watch your child? maybe your mother? Link to comment
thejigsup Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Get help for this. It could happen on another job and you can't go around getting fired over it. Yes, I used to have a severe flying phobia, I would almost pass out. I got help for it because I got my dream job which required much travel. After treatment I could actually hop on a plane and not think twice. Therapy works and I am living proof. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Yes, I had therapy for it too. It really helped me as well. True, it's not the most comfortable thing in the world, especially post 9-11, but it's still safer than driving, honestly. Once I was in a shuttle bus with a pilot. I told him I have a fear of flying and the plane crashing. He's like - "Trust us - Us pilots don't want to crash either! We want to go home to our families at the end of the day. We're very concerned about safety." Do you think that pilots get scared about driving in a car at the end of the day? haha, statistically, they're far more likely to die in a car crash than a plane crash! Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I think overcoming the flying phobia is important. However I understand why you are in distress. It's much harder to overcome a phobia if you feel like you are forced to do it with no way out (as opposed to decidign yourself that you were ready to tackle it). Being forced, in and of itself, only creates more anxiety. What bothers me more than the phobia aspect is that you've worked there so long and they know you are a single mother and just disregarded that aspect of your personhood and suddenly decided to add on international travel to your job duties. If my company ever demanded I put my child last in that manner, I'd be looking for a new job. I've traveled to conferences in the past but they have always been optional. It sounds like you are unhappy there for reasons beyond this flying issue. If I were you I'd start a job search and find a way out of there. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 OP, if your boss reacted by throwing you out of a meeting in the manner you described, then I would say after 13 years, they're not so into you as you may think. Very few high level or executive jobs don't require some degree of travel, so you're very lucky you've been spared this long. Regardless, it really sounds like they wouldn't be too upset if you bounced, so if I were you, I wouldn't be digging in my heels and thinking labor lawsuit. The economy is getting worse, and if you refuse to travel, a high paying job is going to take you a very, very long time to find. They used to say one month per 10k of income, and that was during a strong job market, sooo... I suggest you either find a way to manage the fear of flying, or start cutting your debt. BUT, if you get over the flying issue, just think how much your life can expand! Nothing but good can come from it, and consider it a sign to make some large changes... Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 Thank you! Someone finally gets what I am trying to say! Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 My BF was kind enough to offer to go with me. But with the price of the tickets that is out of the question. So we are going to take a short trip together locally. I am going to go to the DR to get some valium. I do want to get over my fear. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I am someone who is very scared of planes too. I have not been on one since I was 12......but I've been planning a trip in 2012 that will require me to fly. I had cognitive behavioral therapy to learn some tips to deal with the phobia and overcome it. If you think it might help, I can PM the tips the therapist gave me sometime. It seems it would be worse to be on a plane alone when trying to overcome it. When I travel in 2012 I will be with my husband and son. I'm hoping my "mom mode" will take over the phobia and I will be more consumed with making my son feel comfortable and entertaining him on the flight. Of course, hubby will be there in case I need to take something or have adult beverages to get through it. lol Link to comment
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