Refusing to fly for work - maybe getting fired for this

[LazyDaisy]

I am someone who is very scared of planes too. I have not been on one since I was 12......but I've been planning a trip in 2012 that will require me to fly. I had cognitive behavioral therapy to learn some tips to deal with the phobia and overcome it. If you think it might help, I can PM the tips the therapist gave me sometime.

 

It seems it would be worse to be on a plane alone when trying to overcome it. When I travel in 2012 I will be with my husband and son. I'm hoping my "mom mode" will take over the phobia and I will be more consumed with making my son feel comfortable and entertaining him on the flight. Of course, hubby will be there in case I need to take something or have adult beverages to get through it. lol

 

I am more afraid of the work trip since I will be alone. I did not want to be alone the first time I had to fly. I am supposed to go to Argentina for work in Jan and my BF is coming on that trip with me. But this one is way to expensive. I really want to take my son to Disneyland so I need to be able to fly for his sake. Yes, please PM me whatever advice that you have. I am going to go to the DR, but with the time constraint, I won't be able to do any therapy. I tried being hypnotized years ago, didn't do any good at all.

 

Good luck with your trip!

[Jetta]

My mom was afraid to fly she used to take dopemine or something to knock her out during the flight. I just remember how nice the flight attendants were to us because my mom was sick or sleeping during the flight. She got over her fear now but she said it was a decision on her part to not be afraid anymore.

[thejigsup]

A phobia is an irrational fear. You know there is no basis for it in fact, but you are terrified, not scared, just the same. Meds don't always work. This is why therapy is so important in getting over this. If you are just scared, okay, take the meds. I was TERRIFIED to fly and it took a lot of therapy for me to get over it. I did though. I can now hop on a plane as easily as I hop into my car.

[annie24]

When i was in therapy, I had to do lots of visualization and breathing exercises. A lot of it was just very focused, controlled breathing. In one nostril, out the other. That helps me. Visualizations - visualizing getting on the plane, taking off, having an uneventful flight, the plane lands, you get to your destination just fine. Visualize the fun things you will be able to do when you get there - work of course, but maybe go to the beach, relax, try some interesting new foods!

 

you might want to look up some stuff on the internet about getting over the fear of flying. I was very afraid to fly for a long time, but i've gotten past it, mostly. i get a little anxious when there is turbulence, but i guess it's not too much different than a car driving over a pothole. it's just rough air.

[Squiggy]

For every sour apple comes a sweet apple. OR for every bad experiences opens a door to new experience.

 

 

You sound like a very loving, devoted parent. If you can sustain being a single parent, you are stronger than you think you are. I hear many stories of households struggling, I can only imagine how it would be like as a single mother.

 

Speaking as a single parent, this has got to be one of the toughest hurdle to imagine. If there is such a drug that can help you, well first of all it IS a long flight from New Jersey, roughly 20hours or so - probably consult with your doctor on this. Second, maybe consult with HR department about this with regards to unable to fly due to uncontrollable circumstances. Third, there should be another way at resolving this, you are the only one who can train people??

 

Whatever you do, when confronting bosses. Present them a solution rather than complaining about a problem. Even better, if you can make it so they "think" they're the ones who created a solution, then your one dangerous individual

 

For example, if you get a dr's note stating that you have a phobia. You better add the words "i'm going to seek for a second advice because there should be a way that I can fly over without risking anxiety attacks, hey can't fill in for me and I can coach their progression via online communications?"

[turnera]

Whatever you do, when confronting bosses. Present them a solution rather than complaining about a problem.

Exactly. I'm proud of you for deciding to tackle the phobia. Your bf is sweet to help you through it! I think you won't be disappointed if you can work through it - your work AND your personal lives will be enhanced if you can start traveling. Good for you.

[SnowFox]

You might want to check into EMDR

 

You can find therapists in your area trained in EMDR here : link removed

 

I would call them and ask if they've ever treated phobia of flying.

 

I did EMDR for a dental phobia many years ago. It didn't permanently rid me of the phobia, but for the next couple of dental visits I had after my EMDR sessions, my overall anxiety was about 80% reduced.

 

EMDR was originally developed to help with traumatic stress in vets. It is now used for a variety of issues.

[LazyDaisy]

Thank you all for your responses. And yes, I know that the way I handled it with my boss was not good. Things have been very stressful here and flying is an emotional subject for me. So things got a little heated. I am back in the office, I haven't seen him yet. It will have to be addressed sooner or later. Not looking forward to that conversation. I have been very depressed about this situation for the past few days.

 

And yes, qjiggy - I am the only one that knows this process. There used to be many people here in this department but they fired them all and outsourced the work. For a while there was me and a counterpart in Europe. She quit over a year ago and rather than replace her they gave the me the responsibility for the entire world. I had a guy working for me in Australia that was covering the Asia Pacific regions. He just handed in his resignation this morning. So I am literally the only one left that knows this process other than the people the work was outsourced to. They have had turnover so that the team is all new people and they are not doing a good job so my boss wants them retrained. When the original team was trained 6 years ago they came here and they were her for 6 weeks.

 

I am definitely going to look into therapy and also get some kind of drugs for the flights.

[BellaDonna]

She quit over a year ago and rather than replace her they gave the me the responsibility for the entire world. I had a guy working for me in Australia that was covering the Asia Pacific regions. He just handed in his resignation this morning. So I am literally the only one left that knows this process other than the people the work was outsourced to.

 

Sounds like you should be getting a pay increase.

[LazyDaisy]

Sounds like you should be getting a pay increase.

 

I wish! They expect you to do more and more work with the same pay. I can't wait until the economy turns around.

[turnera]

Yeah, nowadays we thank the stars we even have a job, let alone get a raise.

 

Maybe the Occupy Wall Street folks can get us raises.

[thejigsup]

Heads up. Even if the economy turns around, the jobs that are gone stay gone. When a company realizes it can be run with less people, they keep it that way. More profit. I was talking awhile back to someone who knows this sort of thing, they worked in finance some way, and she said what will get us out of this recession (she predicted it will last a few more years), is new jobs. The old ones aren't coming back, but financial recovery will create many new jobs.

[turnera]

That's not entirely true. Where I work, they tried the 'get rid of 25% and make the rest pick up the slack' thing, and then figured out they simply can't maintain the same level of business. They've slowly started trickling jobs back in, one or two at a time. Of course, those jobs are going to younger people who earn much less.