Please Help Me Keep My Feet on the Ground - Getting to Like the New Man a Lot

[chitown9]

Yep! I saw the pictures of David. That is why I said he is gorgeous!!....

[Silverbirch]

Hey Hugs Symbiot. I think I'm going to be posting here for a while! I don't want to take for granted how good things are right now. Especially I think it has something to do with the fact that I had been so sad before this. Even David says that in the 2 years he knew me prior to us getting together, I didn't smile the way I do now.

 

It's like so many things are falling into place. I realise that if I hadn't moved away from the exes home 2 years ago, I wouldn't have met David. If the ex hadn't dumped me, I wouldn't have let myself get to be such good friends with David. If I hadn't been so traumatised by the breakup, I may have let myself get involved with David too quickly. So many things like that I can see now that "the universe was unfolding the way it was meant to."

[chitown9]

It was meant to be!!

[Silverbirch]

Chi, with most of the men I've been with, I often have felt insecure about my looks even though most people consider me definitely above average. It's in the eye of the beholder I'm sure. One of the ways I can get insecure is if I've met someone when I've been out and made my appearnce my best - then I feel a bit nervous about them seeing me as my everyday self. I don't have that insecurity with David.

 

When he would come to see my horses, he always wanted to come at 8am as that fitted in best with the rest of his work. It was nearly always on one of my days off when I worked late the evening before. I'd have to jump out of bed early, put on some paddock clothes so I could go catch the horses and have them tethered or in my backyard at least. I NEVER had makeup on and my hair probably looked like it did as soon as I woke up. Needless to say, I didn't ever think he would find me in the least physically attractive because of that.

 

He let slip the other night that he always wondered what I looked like underneath my paddock clothes - now he knows! . . . and he doesn't seem disappointed. My other 2 exes used to ask me to do my hair a certain way, and I know they liked me better with makeup. It's not an issue for David. He thinks I have very nice skin and features and says he is constantly amazed at my age because he thinks my face and body look a lot younger.

[twitchyfingers]

Once again catching up on your love story with my morning cuppa.

 

Silver, David is very easy on the eyes indeed. Wow!

 

It sounds like everything is going wonderfully. It's so nice that he loves you for your natural and lovely self. This guy's a keeper.

[Silverbirch]

Hi Twitchy and Good Morning California!

 

It's around 1.30am here. I'm at work right now, but can get a little sleep soon Thank God.

 

Spoke with David on the phone tonight. He'd sent me a sweet text message today, but I got some mixed messages from him tonight so making a point to remind myself to keep my feet on the ground. I last Saw David Sunday morning. I thought he had said he would come around Tuesday night. Asked him tonight if he was still coming and he replied by speaking for quite a long time about how he wouldn't know until tomorrow night because he would have to wait and see what tomorrow brings. Tells me this is what he and his life are like, that he realises that might be unacceptable to me, but I need to understand this now to save myself any disappointment later on. I tell him, yes, I know we are still both getting to know each other, and we will have to wait and see how things work out. The main reason I wanted to know if he was coming (yes, of course I like to see him) is so I can know whether to cook dinner for an extra person and other things like if it isn't raining, I will take all of my ponies for a walk on the road. There is always so much to do, and if I want I could go visit friends.

 

He has told me that he hasn't been in a relationship for 12 years. I think part of it is that he holds a lot of guilt for his ex-wife's current situation. About 3 years after she left him (mostly because they had differing needs of togetherness), she met a knight in shining armor, married him and had a child with him. He turned out to be an alcoholic who spent all of her money then left her and has had very little to do with his child. She had a breakdown after this and has also developed a physical disability which has left her emotionally and financially impoverished. David said to me that if his wife had never married him (meaning if she had never married David), she might have married someone else instead who would have given her a much better life, that she certainly doesn't deserve to have ended up the way she has. Yes, the logic does sound flawed to me. He does add though that he does not want to be married to her or in a relationship with her. He said also that in the first few years, he did have a couple of involvements which were very disappointing, especially as his daughter became attached to one woman in particular and that was not a good thing for her - very de-stabilising. It wasn't a long relationship, and the woman left because she felt her biological clock ticking and he had wanted to wait a bit longer before deciding whether he wanted to have more children. He said that since that time, he hadn't met anyone who had made enough of an impression on him for him to want to be in a relationshipp. Then he tells me that it has been worth the 12 year wait to find me.

 

Well, tonight I could definitely sense he was pulling away. I told him that it is okay about tomorrow night. Then he changes his mind saying that he might come over but it would be late. I tell him, I would rather take a raincheck on tomorrow night as I have lots to do myself, but that I will see him Wednesday (he has told me he is trying not to take any work he doesn't have to because he would like to be with me). Then he tells me he "hopes" to see me Wednesday, but "anything could happen - "that something might happen for Silver and she won't be able to see him". Grrrrr. I just stayed calm (on the outside), tried to think "ENA - NON-CHALANT" Next thing he is telling me is that the only way I will ever be able to see him every day is if we live together and that he is really hoping that is going to happen some time in the future.

 

Then he tells me that he sees me because he likes to see me, not because he needs to see me, that if things don't work out between us, he will be sad, but he won't be crying in his soup. He will be disappointed, but will get on with his life quite happily. I remind him that I've had a number of relationships end and got hurt badly, but "I'm still here".

 

I can sense he's very tired so I tell him that I will let him go so that he can finish off for the night and go to bed. He tells me "I love you Poss (Possum)", reminds me of a few other small things, punctuating them with "I love you."

 

I had a quiet cry to myself when I got off the phone (we must have talked for at least an hour). I really don't want to be hurt again, but I know that's a risk, and I can only live life on life's terms. Also, I no longer will train men to take me for granted. I know I need to be prepared to walk away, no matter how hard that is if I believe the man doesn't want to be with me. I think he does want to be with me, and as long as he treats me well, I want to be with him too. I think he is getting a bit nervey due to the intimacy and is needing a bit of time in his cave to work himself out so I'm going to let him go off there for a while - until he comes back - all in good time when he's ready. In the meantime, I have my own life to get on with.

[chitown9]

Hey, Silver! I was looking for you on the site and I found the pictures of you and your ponies. I was so surprised because you were so worried about appearing older in some of your posts. Not to worry girlfriend!! You look so YOUNG!! You should be seeing your man tomorrow. I am sure you are looking forward to it....

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Chi, that's sweet of you to say so. Those pics were taken a couple of weeks after the breakup and I think I look a lot better now although after those pics were taken, I got to look awful from all the crying stress - which was why I had the botox and I don't regret that. It's worn off now, but I don't think I really need again just yet. I'm feeling so good. In the last couple of weeks, I began walking my ponies on the road, some days up to 20kms and some of it is uphill. Some of it is very brisk walking, trotting and even a bit of a run in parts. The ponies and I are all getting fitter and more toned. Being outdoors and exercising makes me feel and look a lot better, and I have been told by several people, including David, that I am postively glowing right now. He said that I smile a lot more than I ever have in the whole time he has known me.

 

Things are going really well except that there is not enough time or hours in the days. I have organised to have around 10 days off work starting from the 25th.

 

David came over again last night and it was so wonderful. As soon as I saw him, I thought how he looked fitter, more tanned, healthier and very happy. When he got out of his car, he picked me up of the ground literally and planted a long kiss on my lips! Truly, I have realised that I've never actually been in love until now. Of course, I thought I had, but now I realise that I hadn't really. I had seen the men in my life the way I wanted to see them which was quite different to who they really were - which of course was disappointing when I was confronted with reality.

 

David admitted last night that he has been worried that when I have known him for longer, I will decide that I won't really like him or want to be with him. I know that we have only been together as a couple for a short time, but I think that my time as knowing him as a friend has to count for something. I hope I'm not deluding myself again, but I feel that I've never been so certain of anything in my life that he is the one for me, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with - Not just because of the physical attraction which has developed, but for so many other reasons.

 

Remember he told me how unromantic he is, and some of that was when I didn't even think of him as a potential mate. He has said to me several times now, especially in the mornings when we wake up together that he wants to go to sleep every night with me beside him and wake up every morning with me too, and so many other things like that. There's always so much to talk about. We speak on the phone every night, and are only able to see each other every 2 or 3 days right now. He's sort of different on the phone - much more self-protective, but then very different, like he REALLY thaws out when we are together face to face.

 

He was saying to me how "You'll either like me or you won't and time will tell, and if it doesn't work out, my life will go on, and I'll be okay." I just laughed and in my most nonchalant way (which I learned from ENA's CrapatNc), "Oh, I think I'll love you, in fact, I already do, but I'm sure you will really give me a major case of the Shots from time to time . . . . but I'll still love you." Then I just laughed. That seemed to break the ice, and he was back to being the most gorgeous hunky adorable David who I can't resist.

 

I told him tonight that I think tomorrow night, we should each just take care of our own lives as we are going to spend Saturday together. I could tell he was sort of disappointed, but agreed that he would be tired from work and had some catching up to do. On Saturday, I'm going to spend the day at his place, playing with and grooming his horses. He has lots to do. The grass has grown and he needs to get out on his tractor. Maybe I'll hitch a ride with him for fun.

 

It's so late here and only 3 or 4 hours and I have to be back on the job. Hoping to take some more photos on the weekend and will maybe post some more recent photos of me and the ponies on ENA. When I finish work in the morning, I'm going to destress at the hairdressers, go home and play with my horses, and do a bit more of my nesting projects in my home - it's starting to look VERY nice. I'm also cooking much more healthy food. David is vegetarian, and I used to be a long time ago, but had to give it away back then as I got anaemic. Definitely need to put thought into preparing a healthy vegetarian diet and taking vitamin supplements. The food has been nice though and I'm managing to freeze some of it for later so that has helped me feel healthier too.

 

Anyway, hopefully back again tomorrow. Hope all is well in Hawaii. Aloha Girlfriend. xxxxx

[chitown9]

Oh, 10 days of no work! That will be wonderful for you I am so happy for you Silver Thank you so much for sharing your story of the Agony and the Ecstasy!! (I do like the ecstasy part better, however)....chi

[Silverbirch]

LOL. so do I!

[Silverbirch]

Hi All!

 

Things have continued to go really well. David and I got to meet some of each others friends over the weekend, and I finally visited his place and met all of his furries. Played with his horses which was very nice. One of them is an old retired thoroughbred which was a champion racehorse. David found it wasting away on a country property a few years back and wasn't far off becoming pet food. Thankfully, he was able to take that horse home and it's living out a nice retirement. He was very smoochey with me, and next time I go there, I'm giving him lots of grooming which is one of my favourite things to do.

 

David asked me again today if I will stay over at his place soon. I said yes, and then he said that he has to go out and buy all new bed linen first! LOL - this from a man who detests shopping and claims that he will do what he can to get out of visiting stores.

 

Anyway, as I said, all has gone well, except that tonight, I am plagued again by my insecurities. I was doing a big clean-up at home. Found the cards my ex had sent me whcih I'd put away, and I have decided I want to burn them all. I've also texted my ex asking to arrange a date to collect the rest of my things. I have remained polite but brief as I'm hoping he will let me bring his dog back here to stay with me at least one more time. She's 14 now and her health has been declining. I just love her to bits. I don't miss the ex at all, but definitely miss seeing that beautiful dog who was very much a part of my life.

 

Every time I see David, he looks more and more handsome, just glowing with good health and fitness, getting more suntanned too. He holds himself more confidently and smiles and laughs more . . . and I'm so terrified that I will lose him to another woman. Largely, this is because this has happened to me before, and I can now face the likelihood that with my most recent ex, there was another woman on the scene.

 

I was engaged to my previous ex (the one before the last one), and I think coming accross those cards has triggered memoreis for me of my failed relationships. When I found out the guy I was engaged to was seeing another woman (he had flatly denied it at first, but I basically caught him red-handed), I went to the beach in the middle of the night, like a mad woman, and I threw my beautiful wedding dress into Port Philip Bay. Silly me, the tide was coming in and kept bringing my wedding dress back into shore so I walked out into the water knee deep trying to drag this soaking wet wedding dress back into the bay. The a young couple on the beach came out to me - they probably thought I was going to do myself in or something. I've had 3 long-term relationships and had my heart broken 3 times, and I know I have to prepare myself for the possibility this will happen again. If it does, even though I've only been with David for a short time, it will hurt badly. I know he isn't a rebound, that we are right for each other in so many ways and the physical attraction is very strong as well.

 

I'm seeing a pattern too, where he withdraws for brief periods of time. I make a point to try not to chase after him, but it has to be as plain as day to him and everyone else that I really really love him, and I know I need to get a grip on myself, try practising some nonchalance.

 

Anyway, hoping I will be back here within the next few days to say that we are not running away from each other again for at least a time. When this happens, and we do see each other again, the relationship seems to be filled with more and more happiness. God, we laughed so much today when he visited. I was relaying an anecdote about some of the teasing I am getting from work from some of the other women and their suggestions on how to have the hottest sex life!!!! Yes, they really do say things like that - cheeky booggers. Mind you, when they get me going, I like being a bit naughty back to them to see if I can make them laugh. Anyway, David laughed and laughed, and I didn't say anything, but I felt so overcome by how beautiful he is. It scares me to feel that besotted with a man. I thought I loved my exes, but I don't recall ever feeling like this. Help, please.

[Realitynut]

SB, there is a book, Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and in it, it explains how men act like rubberbands. they stretch close, then spring back. After a while, they don't spring so far back. He probably doesn't even feel like he's distanceing himself. Maybe your insecurities, only MAke you feel like he's pulling back. He doesn't like clingy woman, but I KNOW he's besotted by you too!! (how I love that work!) He's waited for you for years! You just wait for him now, to catch up! Men tend to be a little wary. They're not use to having feelings!!! (at least he's not!)

 

When my ex and I were together for 3 months, we went away, and we got in the hot tub. He had wrapped 3 presents and had them around the tub. He also brought candles, and placed them around the tub. I remember not being able to look at him full in the face, cuz I thought he was so handsome, I could hardly stand to look at him. I remember thinking, how did I ever get so lucky. I never thought about anyone like that before, and I don't know if I ever will again.

 

That was an interesting story about your wedding dress. I had visions of drowning myself in the Sheyboygan harbor (where we were to be married JUNE 11) with my wedding dress on, but of course I didn't. Now I'm so fat (I just got done baking brownies and eating a piece...lol) I wouldn't be able to get it on anyway!

 

Someday you'll have to tell us all your sad, but terribly romantic tales of failed love!!! lol You are such the story teller. It is like reading our very own romance novel...so keep it coming. When you're not busy with D, instead of worrying yourself to pieces, write to us.

 

BTW, I wrote something the other day, somewhere...and I said "to bits". We never say "bits" over here. Like I loved him to 'bits" , it's pieces....so I thought I had a little Aussie coming out of me, because of YOU! LOL....don't worry about being insecure...we all are...it's because we care too much, and we've been hurt so often. Someday there will be a man who is gentle with your heart...I feel it will be David...

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Carla! You make me smile!

 

I really am not quite sure what to think. I think I need to do nothing though. I sent him a text earlier in the day and emailed everyone on my emailing contact list as it appears that there is some type of infected file which has found itself into my hotmail box. Didn't hear anything back. Earlier tonight, I texted him with "Hi, how's you day" but heard nothing back so far. Often he doesn't ring me until 10pm or a bit after and it is around 9pm now. I just have this bad feeling. I'm reminded from my postings that he has done this withdrawal thing before. Yesterday, when he came, he seemed so happy. He had said he would ring me before he came over. I was doing a bit of cleaning on the porch and turned to find him there. He hadn't rung which he hasn't done before. I had a little make-up on, just dressed caually, but had done my hair. He said jokingly, "I think you might have another boyfriend who you are all dressed up for." I just joked back, but reassured him. He's also said that he thinks my housemate is attracted to me and that he thinks my ex really does have feelings for me, but was just going through a bad time when he broke up with me. I don't think any of that is true,but I think he might be a bit insecure too although other times, he has said things quite opposite like that he feels very confident with the relationship. Maybe I'm over-analysing here. I'm just sort of surprised that he hasn't called me when he said he was going to.

 

Yes, I think like a lot of men, maybe most, he has a real fear of being controlled by women. Sorry if I'm repeating myself, but he said that the whole time he was married, he felt like he had a ball and chain around his leg because his wife always wanted to know what he was doing, where he was going, and wanted a lot more togetherness than he did. On an occasion recently, he told me that he wouldn't be seeing me on Sunday as he was going to meet a friend for coffee. I didn't ask who the friend was or one single thing about it. Next day, he asked me if I wanted to go to. It was a very long term female friend - another pilot and her husband, and he told me that he really wanted me to meet her and that she wanted to meet me too. They were a nice couple and we had a nice afternoon. Went to a lovely historical place up in the mountains. I think that with him, he ispartly testing me to see how controlling and needy I am. Right now, I'm sort of needy, not necessarily to be with hm, bu to hear from him and know that he is still on the scene.

 

I just get these mixed messages like when I told him I haven't slept so well this week after having my sleeping pattern messed around at work, he said he thought the real reason I wasn't sleeping well was that I needed him there beside me. True, I do sleep very, very soundly when he is there. He has said lots of things to me and I wonder if he is regretting them like that he wants to go to leep beside me each night and wake up beside me the next morning. (I've realised I would like the same) With these mixed messages, I'm starting to feel a bit screwy, but know that I have to be a bit patient and give it time to see where allof this is really going.

 

Carla, I've been with THREE men who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. For the most part, I thought allof those men were devoted to me. I don't want to go through that again. I'm gong to try and put my mind back on my animals and tryinig to get my head together.

 

I'm sure if I tell him what is going on in my head, I will lose him for sure. I'm so tired, but determined to have a good sleep tonight. I won't see him tomorrow night even if he does contact me as I need to catch up on sleep and do things at home, and I don't think I should drop everything for him no matter how strongly I feel about him.

 

I need to put my faith in the universe. Maybe I am just meant to be alone, but if that is the case, I have to trust that is for the best.

[Silverbirch]

Carla, he texted me good-night and a sweet message at 9.30pm saying he was exhausted from a big day and another 2 BIG days over the next 2 days. He did warn me this would happen when the rain stopped. He became self-employed around a year ago, and business is really taking off for him. I tried calling him, but he must have turned his pone off after sending the message or else his phone was engaged.

 

I've gotten myself busy tonight researching and initiating a project proposal for our proposed farm. It's something I wanted to do before we got together, and when I told him about it, he said he would love to do it with me. Basically, I'm looking at logistics of growing Organic Certified Australian Garlic, and developing a business plan. It would take a couple of years because my next step will be to select several varieties and undertake a pilot project in growing them. I would be able to do it where I am currently living. It's very high in demand, fetches excellent prices, but has not been that successfully grown in Australia up until this current period of time. To me, it's quite an interesting subject - there are lots of things about garlic, it's history, uses and it's marketing to know so I'm getting my teeth into it now. David belongs to a Land Care Group which is mostly attended by local farmers. I'd been talking about going with him for quite some time. Also found out tonight about an organic farmers federation here where I would have access to a lot of courses and publications as well as meeting other growers.

[Silverbirch]

Hi Carla,

If you are still there, I was getting pretty worried and thinking he was just going to fade out of my life. He left a message on my phone after 9.30pm tonight so I rang him back. He'd fallen asleep almost as soon as he came home from work. He's been working a lot today, mostly on Clydesdales and Andalucians, which as you would know are very large, and these particular horses where quite difficult. He said the clydies had hooves the size of dinner plates, and he had to hold the hooves up while he filed - hooves weighing around 10kgs each! He's got a fair amount of work on tomorrow too.

 

It was probably good that he didn't call me earlier because I decided in the afternoon that I should take myself and doggie off to the beach tomorrow, get in some sunshine and vitamin D. I've already got my beach hut/tent packed in the car, my shorts, swimwear, etc out and ready. Want to make sure I get off quite early.

 

Anyway, we talked for quite a long time tonight. He's feeling so tired as he took on a lot of extra work this week, but said he won't be able to maintain that amount and is going to reduce his workload. I asked him if he knew how big his load would be Wednesday - as far as seeing me and going out goes, he generally doesn't like planning anything that far ahead due to work, and so far, I've gone along with that. Well, my teenage music idols are coming out to our local pub on Wednesday. I've already seen them twice and it each time it has been fantastic! There was talk of David and I going together - he left all the organising to me. I reminded him they were coming, but if he would be too tired or didn't want to come, that would be fine because I'm happy to go on my own. He ummed and aahhed, and then told me to count him in. He also made comments about who I might meet at the beach tomorrow - adding a richer man than himself. Asked if I would be too tired to see him in the evening as he would like to come over.

 

I'm feeling quite a deal relieved. I know that I must go about my own life no matter what happens. I do really love him and want to be with him, but I've never been into taking men hostage or against their will so if he doesn't want to be with me or do things with me or whatever, I'm just going to try my hardest to get on with things.

[Silverbirch]

David was taken to hospital by ambulance on Sunday while I was at work, and he has been very sick. I did not find out about it until late Sunday night as I pulled into my driveway. I wanted to go straight back down to Melbourne and be with him, but he insisted he was settled for the night, was okay and that there was nothing I could do. It appears that he was bitten by a venomous spider on the foot - probably the spider was in his gumboots which he keeps outside the door uncovered (as I do mine). He has had a severe reaction and was found by his father lapsing into unconsciousness. He's still pretty sick, but has developed bad and painful cellulitis in his leg, hands and other parts of his body. He still had a temperature when I left him this evening, but is on a drip and very high-dose penicillin. It was so hard to leave him, but I knew it would be selfish to be anything but calm and reassure him that everything is going to be okay. He's quite stressed about not working, but even in this short space of time, he has been able to evaluate some things in his life which have likely contributed to him becoming so ill. I'll probably need to post in several parts as my connection seems quite dodgy tonight, and there is a lot which has happened which I would like to write about.

[Carus]

God I hate spiders!

 

My thoughts are with him Silver*

 

Carus* 8-)

[Silverbirch]

He said to me, and I agree, that this present illness seems like the universe working to force him to make some changes in his life. He says he has felt run-down an unwell in this past month, and that in the last week, he did too much work, and in future, is not going to do so much as he knows it will burn him out - that's something quite common with farriers due to the physical stresses of the job.

 

He had also been complaining of feeling cold and light-headed in the mornings, and lacking in energy. He has been taking blood pressure medication the last few years as he was informed when he went for a medical for his pilot's license that he needed to take it as a requirement to maintain his license. At the time, he had been well, and hadn't noticed anything suggesting that he might have blood pressure problems. During this admission to hospital, he has been found to have very low blood pressure and so the doctors have stopped that medication for the time being. He's also been having some problems with his feet for a couple of years and hasn't given them the attention they deserve. This is also going to change.

 

I went to the hospital this morning. He had hoped that I would be able to take him home today, but they want to keep him in for at least one more day, and the nurses will visit him at home.

 

I finally got to meet his daughter who is just gorgeous, and it's obvious they are very close which is nice.

 

I'm very tired as I've been up doing things here at home. One of those things has been to prepare some food for him to last him over a couple of days when he gets home.

[Silverbirch]

Despite having told me a couple of days ago that he is a real pain and just wants to be alone when he is unwell, he was very pleased to see me and very loving and affectionate, and it seemed as though he was "showing me off" to his nurse and said several times "How lucky am I". First thing he said when I go there was "I'm not much of a catch am I." I don't know where all that come from, but I know for sure that I am so in love with him - but it's more than that - it's a feeling that we are so right for each other in so many ways.

 

It's around 2am here and I need to get some sleep so I can get up early and do some things then go back to the hospital. Hopefully, he is going to be very improved tomorrow.

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Carus. I got bitten at least 3 times by whitetails a couple of months ago and had thought they were very infected mosquito bites until I went to the doctor. I was quite sick, but not as sick as David is. He has had the cellulitis in his leg 3 times now. There seems to be something in his system which is predisposing him to becoming very ill when his body comes in contact with infection. We ARE going to get to the bottom of this. I'm going to make certain he gets well.

[mactownman]

Congrats Silverbirch!

 

Im kind of in the same boat right now! Been broken up for 6 months and have been seeing a new girl for about 2 months now. Having tons of fun and things are going very well. It feels great doesn't it?

[Silverbirch]

Hi Mactownman, thank you and yes, it feels wonderful. I haven't heard yet from David this morning as the doctor is probably seeing him right now. Will have a few busy days ahead of me. I'm going to help take care of his horses and other furries while he is unwell and help him out with things. I'm possibly going to go out with him to see some of his horse patients - the smaller ones who have been unwell. He can't stand steadily just yet and he has had to defer all of his work appointments, but as soon as he is well enough, I'll go if only to pass him instruments and help keep the horses calm and still.

[chitown9]

Good for you, Silver, for taking care of your man!......

[Realitynut]

So Sorry SB...I was out of town for a few days. It's been a bad 6 days for me, emotionally, not physically like your poor David. We don't have those damn spiders over here, I mean we have 'brown recluse' but I've never seen one and don't know anyone who has been bitten.

 

It sounds as if you will be Davids partner in work and life for a long time. I can see you working side by side with him, holding the ponys heads, or handing him tools...

 

He's proud of you, and feels so lucky to have you. Like you said, this may be a life changing ordeal. I'm glad you have each other. Have no fear, and stay strong. You have no reason to feel insecure.

 

I fought big time with my Dad tonite, I talked to Dan last fri. night for the first time in 4 months...not good, and my son got arrested tonite for driving on a suspended licence, he's 19 and said it was just suspended 2 days ago...who knows. It's gonna cost big bucks and they wouldn't let me take his car. Said it would have to be impounded...another $800. Only a mile or two from home. He wanted to get on the computer, but I was on here, so he went driving around. He didn't know his license was suspended....he had been smoking pot....I keep telling him he's got to quit making these poor choices. So I guess he'll sit in jail. My dad was going to help me buy back my old house, but we got in a fight about Dan over the phone. I told him I was still hurting, and wasn't ready to pick up all my furniture yet. He got mad, hung up on me numerous times. Said I didn't have my life together, so he wasn't going to help me with the house. This is a guy who has tons of money, and all he had to do was co-sign for the house my ex and I had for 20 years. It's going into forclosure....

 

So You and David had a scare, but you are in love, and there is happiness in your future. My eyes are swollen from crying tonite. It's been over 6 months, and it seems I can't get a break. How can a person go from being so happy, to being in the depths of despair. I thought getting my old house back, that I loved, would get my mind off of Dan, and have me look forward to something, but my Dad made sure those hopes and dreams went up in smoke also. He's always been controlling and demanding. He wouldn't even listen to me. I'd say, Dad, I'm still hurting. I know it's over between us, but I'm still hurt. And all it did was make him more angry. I sometimes feel I have no one to turn to. My family has always been this way. Dan said I was clingy and needy. Of course he never said this, until it was 'over'. Maybe it's cuz I finally found someone I loved, and thought he loved me....and I needed him too much. I wish someone needed me!

 

Anyone want to get a spider bite, and I'll come take care of you???

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Chi and thanks so much for your ongoing support.

 

Carla, I'm sorry you are going through all of these things. I'm so glad that I no longer want to be with my ex. Funy isn't it that he didn't tell you those things about you being needy while you were with him. Not meaning to hurt you, but I think there is good reason to supsect that Dan iis very likely a gold-digger. I'll bet anything that this other woman's money has something to do with the attraction. When my ex hit me with the bombshell, he also said things to me tht I was very selfish and self-centred,even that I did not cook enough for him. When I confronted him with evidence of things I had done for him right throughout the relationship, including in the recentpast to the breakup and that he had given me a card just 3 weeks prior with lovey dovery thigs written onn it and telling me what a wondeful, kind and giving person I was, his response was "Don't you see, I was really trying to make the relationship work and that's the only reason I wrote those nice things. Well, yes, months later I see there were at least 2 other women on the scene who he likely thought had more to offer him than I could give him, and in at least one case, one of those things was money. Today, he repulses me. I am finally so looking forward to getting the last of my things from him, seeing the dog for the last time, and hopefuly NEVER seeing him again in my life. Today, I think he is a total wanker, and any other woman who wants him (or even those who don't) can have him because I don't want him and neer will again.

 

I know this will sound devious, and I'm pretty certain that you are a person who it is important to that you always remain true to yourself, but could you sort of fake some things to your father? You really don't have to tell him all the absolute truths hin your life - you are a grown woman. Is it an option for you to consider having a friend collect your things from him? I do know how you feel though because up until I came to terms with the breakup,and then especially until I no longer wanted him in my life, collecting my belongings was a really difficult thing for me because it seemed to make the breakup really final.

 

I'll write about more iin the next post about David, but I met one of his best friends, and I think someone like him would be good for you, but I'm not sure if you would think he was good-looking enough. There ARE other good men out there and I so hope you get to meet some of them soon. I was amazed when I found out his age. He is actually a couple of years older than you are and looks more than 10 years younger than he is. Apparently, he has made some very wise investments in his life and is quite well off though not wealthy, a lovely guy, not too bad looking actually, rides a Harley Davison motorbike and has his own light aircraft. Course there are the pitfualls with some of these guys l- they have been o their own for a while and are pathetic at housework and have some other ole bachelor ways about them.

 

Anyway, HUGS Carla. Just tkeep plodding along. Immerse yourself in your passions and trust in the universe.