Please Help Me Keep My Feet on the Ground - Getting to Like the New Man a Lot

[Silverbirch]

Well, once again, it's around 2am - I'm at work and have had a big night here. Things have gone quiet for a while, but at 6.30am, the action will start again so It's good that I finish around 10am tomorrow and won't have to work again until MOnday afternoon.

 

Well, David was in the hospital for 2 days, and really wanted to come home. He wasn't officially dishcarged and has the nursing service come and visit him twice a day to give him high dose intravenous penicillin, take his blood pressure and check on his leg. It seems that there are several likely causes to him having developed severe cellulitis in his leg. There was the spider bite, the fact (his own admission) that he had taken on far too much work, that he has varicose veins and also a lot of problems with his feet. It's sort of typical - he takes much better care of his and anyone else's horses hooves and neglects his own feet.

 

He's still in a lot of pain and discomfort. I stayed over at his house for the last 2 nights but had to come to work tonight. I will see him tomorrow late morning or early afternoon as he has to take himself back to the hospital to see the doctor. I tried to get him to consider rescheduling the appointment so that I could drive him there, but he doesn't like a fuss. I'm having to be very sensitive about help I offer him although he has expressed a lot of gratitude at the support I have been able to give him.

 

I'm an ex-nurse and carer and have had an interest in reflexology and massage for quite a few years now. I love to give people foot massage - not just men, but I've been able to do it for girlfriends when they have been unwell. I've been doing some things for him to help with his feet and there is an ovious difference. He loves it too - says nobody has ever given him a foot massage. It's funny and vute. After I do it for a bit, he starts to go to sleep and will start jibbering away in a half sleep nonsensical information. When I start laughing, he will wake, then within a short time, he's out like a light, sometimes snoring.

 

I have gotten to meet his daughter now, and both David and I think that we will get along just fine. As I mentioned, I also got to meet one of his best friends who I really liked, and have had the "privilege" of being one of the few women ever invited to attend "the gentleman's club" as they jokeingly refer to it. It's a weekly get-together at the local country airstrip for mostly men, but some female pilots. Some are commercail pilots, but others like David just do it recreationally. When you drive past it, iyou could miss it if you blink coz it's not like city airports. Just looked like somebody's small house with a helicopter parked in the front yard.

 

Well, it's taken me a little bit to feel at home at David's. He certainly has lived the life of a bachelor, but I appreciate and respect the fat that it is his home, that he has the right to live however he wants and that it isn't my job to fix him even though just at the moment, I'm helping out with some things because he is too unwell to take full care of himself. He says I am the first woman he has ever invited into that home which he has lived in for six years and the first woman to sleep in that bed. Speaking of which, he encouraged me to bring my dog with me. Well, at bedtime, there was one of his dogs, my dog and one of his cats who made themselves very at home with us and slept on the bed with us both nights. Luckily, I'm a small person but a king-sized bed will e appreciated when the time comes for us to get one. Still,I can hardly believe how peacefully and soundly we sleep when we are together. I have the loveiest sleep ever. I alwys fal asleep withh my head on his chest and one arm around him and he has one arm around me. Unlike my ex, David is very nice to wak up beside, always smells like a peach - I'm not sure why - maybe it has something to do with being vegetarian and not drinking alcohol and drinking lots of water.

 

Anyway, his kitchen was prretty darn scarey, and I've done a few things to feel safe in preparing and eating food prepared in there. Still, like I said, I'm trying to be respectful and sensitive about how I do that.

 

I kow also that I'm going to have to be very careful that I don't put too much of my life on hold while he is sick as that will really turn him off, and I don't want to lose me ever again. He's told me also things like I don't need to feel that I have to do any of those things to care for me because that isn't why he is with me, and that he is with me because of who I am not what I can do for him.

 

I swear he becomes more good-looking by the day.Despite being so sick, he looks a picture of good health with his golden skin and clear eyes.

 

There is so much to say and I so love being with him. I've gotten to play with his horses over these last couple of days, and there has been a lot of talk between us about moving in together after June next year. I know I'm nt going to change my mind about that.

 

My life is great except for the fact that I'mhaving lots of problems with my housemate (male). I've been told that he has had quite a few female housemates before me, and all of them end badly because he is a difficut person. He's actually starte dto get creepy when I'm alone with him, and thankfully, we work different hours, and I'm seeing as little of him as I possibly can. I had felt upset by some things he has done of late - bet you would never geuess, but some of those things were aimed at financially exploiting me. I find out too that he has a reputations amongst other men as being a sleeze bag. I don't want to move in with David to get away from this guy. Atm, I'm trying to bite my tongue and do what I can to just keep the peace and get him to leave me alone. He also did something else that creeped me right out. I've been really angry about his behaviour, and there is a possibility that soemthing will happen and I will have to get out at fairly short notice. I hope the universe can lead me to some answers of how to protect myself, mostly mentally from this creepy guy.

 

Anyway, lots to say, but I gotta get a bit of rest before the action starts here again soon. Hope to speak soon. xxxxxx

[Realitynut]

Thankyou SB for that 'lovely' message. I love to say 'lovely' now! lol I feel like I almost know you and David, you have such a way with words. I laughed when you talked about his scary kitchen. dan actually was quite neat. Not a neat freak (like you!! lol) but we NEVER argued about the housekeeping!

 

I do think that Dan was/is a gold-digger. I have talked to my customers about that. I knew my ex was for sure, but I didn't think Dan was that way, even though I knew he was a tight-wad with his own money.

The week before he ended it with me ( I don't like to say, "we broke up", cuz WE didn't) He told me it didn't matter that I mowed his lawn, or washed his clothes, or cooked his meals...what he needed was $$$$! He wanted me to pay half my way, and he could wash his own clothes, and mow his own yard. It was so hurtful, but now we know it was because he wanted it to be over.

 

What has you roomate done that has creeped you out so??? When you have time, I want more details.

 

So glad that your dog, his dog, and cat and both of you are one big happy family in bed. There was barely enough room in Dan's queen sized bed for us and pup!!! But I am a bed hog!!

 

When we went to sleep we'd have sex...hehehe...then we'd talk and then say goodnight, he'd kiss me, and we'd both roll over and touch butts...and that's how we slept. He never had bad breath in the morning, and I don't know why. I always said, he was my perfect partner...he had bad hearing so he couldn't hear me snore, he couldn't smell, so my breath never bothered him. I just said he had to get bad eye-sight so he couldn't see my body!!! He'd be the perfect man, and I'd be the perfect woman! He couldn't see me, couldn't smell me, and couldn't hear me!!! lol

 

Anyway, you are the highlight of my night, so don't quit coming on here,

Love, C and P (Carla and pup)

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Carla,

Just a brief post as I'm about to leave David's and go back to my own place. Housemate has done quite a lot of things just not nice, but now he is getting creepy. After he was nasty to me the other night, I sent him an email telling him I was keen to respectfully resolve any concerns he might have but received no reply. I don't want to share a house with him any longer but for my convenience, would rather stay here until June next year, so don't know if this is going to be possible. H's very nosey about my private life and is often inapppropriate. He's basically trying to manipulate me for money but he also recently did something with a pair of my undies I found inappropriate. He's a couple of years older than I am, and I gather in the past and maybe some in the present, women have found him very attractive. I don't like him at all. He's one of those people who thinks he knows everything and really knows Jack Sh^t which is Australian for nothing. He is very into mind games and when he knows something is important to a person, he will use it to manipulate. For example, he knows I don't want the horses moved around different paddocks except by me as I carefully check them first and also assess how much grass I want available to them. Despite this, he gets a kick out of moving them around when I'm not there.

 

I do need to be getting home to be taking care of my own things. Looks like David has now developed a "Man Cold", and I'm wanting to go back into my own space for a while. I've done plenty to take care of him, but now it's time for me so I'm off for a while.

 

Hope things went okay with your son. My son had his license suspended for around a year when he was your son's age. He was only a little over the legal drinking limit at the time, but he certainly learnt a lesson - at a deal of financial bother.

 

Keep well my friend and speak soon.

[Silverbirch]

Hi Carla,

After my last post, I went off to the shops and got caught up there for a while. I didn't take my phone with me as I didn't think I would be very long. Got back and 9pm and went to send David a text to say good night and check in on how he is going. There was a message waiting for me which he had sent about 20 minutes earlier saying that he had been told he had to go back to the hospital due to an extremely high temperature. I met him there and his daughter was also there. He had more blood tests, but the results hadn't come when I left close to 1am. He was also being sent for a chest x-ray. The infection does not seem to be responding to Penicillin. His temperature was up and down while I was there with him, and he is understandably getting stressed. He's coughing and uncomfortable and really peeved off because he believes he got a chest infection from other patients in the hospital while he was there earlier.

 

I'm home now and don't even know if my housemate is here. His car is here, but the place is extremely quiet and he was having people come from interstate for the weekend. As they can be big drinkers I would have thought that I would have heard at least some noise by now.

 

I know I'm sounding paranoid, but I'm feeling unnerved by David's crankiness. In my previous relationships, as you would expect, they all started off nicely enough, but the men all ended up very grumpy and difficult. I'm just not up for being with a grumpy man again so hoping that this is just due to him being sick and that it will pass.

 

As I mentioned earlier, the state of hygienne in his home is worrying me more, especially in view of him going back into hospital with a bacterial infection. I could tell when the nurses came to visit that the general state of the home was of concern to them also. Two of them asked for the animals to be taken out of the home when they were there, and advised that he should not be around cats at the present time. At least one cat sleeps on the bed each night as well as one of the dogs. He uses cat litter which he changed while I was there but I don't think he washed the tray, and as I don't have litter in my home or cats inside, the smell is more noticeable to me as is the cat hair on most of the seating. I'm a lot more careful when it comes to food handling also. I likely sound like a fuddy-duddy to a lot of people, but that is how I am, and he is quite different. All of the men I have been with have said that I am the "cleanest" woman they have been with, especially with regard to personal hygienne. I only have baths, not showers every day. Originally, I started doing this years ago as my hair was halfway down my back and that was the easiest way to wash it. Now I just don't feel clean if I don't. I'd say also that because of the work I've done and some of the things I've seen (with regard to poor hygienne), it has become something for me which I am fussy about. When I stayed at David's, I did not feel comfortable enough to use the bath or even shower.

 

He said a couple of other things today which have also made me feel a bit apprehensive. Even though I don't smoke in front of him, and really don't smoke much when we are in the same home, he is going on and on about the cigarettes. He also has started making comments about the line of work I am in as did my last partner. There are high stress levels, but especially, the risks and incidents of occupational violence and injury doesn't sit well with him, and I suppose a lot of men. Thing is that I REALLY like the people I work with. I like most aspects of the work and don't want to leave it completely although there are other things I would like to do in a part-time capacity. I'm going to take care in future what I do divulge about work, particularly in regard to incidents of violence.

 

I know I must sound whiney, but I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground, and see things as they are and not how I want them to be. Right now, I don't fully know the reality of how things are. I need more time to get to know him.

 

I'll go up and see him tomorrow, but I plan also to spend most of the day with my horses and taking them for walks on the road, having a good sleep and taking care of myself.

 

I hope you have a good weekend and that we speak soon. xxxx

[chitown9]

Gosh, you have a lot on your plate Silver. Just one thing I want to mention..don't ever change your job for someone else or their opinion. Your housemate sounds like a real winner. I hope you find a way to deal with him...will check with you later....

[Silverbirch]

Hi Chi,

I haven't slept tonight. I can hear now that he is home. Sorry if I am repeating myself, but I sent him a text an email on ?Wednesday morning telling him I would like to respectfully resolve any concerns he might have, but have heard NOTHING from him. Truth is, I really don't like him much at all, and just want to live in peace until I leave here. It's a shame because I love everything about this place except for him.

 

I'm not going to leave my job for anyone, but I do want to diversify. I'm currently researching a few options, but I do feel disappointed by David's opinion on my work.

 

I will go to GP either today or Monday and get the script for the Champix and finally have a committed attempt at giving up the fags. I did want to do this for myself, but in truth, I'm feeling pressured by David to do so.

[chitown9]

Silver, I remember the nature of your work, and I don't know if you remember, but I did the same type of work as your are doing in the past. This particular job does have the risk of personal injury to the workers. I think David is thinking about that when he voices his opinion. Same for the cigs. It's like, now that he found you, he does not want to loose you by means of harm coming your way.

 

As for your housemate, he is creepy for sure. Is there any way you can replace him with another housemate?

 

P.S. The term, he doesn't know jack sh.. is not an Aussie thing. It is used in the states as well .........

[Realitynut]

LOL LOL chi...I was gonna say I know what Jack Sh.. means too!!! haha

 

I hope that he's grumpy only because he's sick....

 

Dan was never grumpy, he was almost always upbeat...until I got crabby. I had these unrealistic expectations I guess....He said I didn't 'bend' and she does.

 

I feel like chi, in the fact I think david is concerned about your smoking and work...because he is concerned about your well-being...cuz he loves ya!!

[AutumnBorn]

After a 26 year relationship filled with insecurity and as much pain as joy, two years of counseling that only delayed the inevitable, four years living apart, three years divorced, I accidentally met an incredible man.

 

My soul recognized a mate when I saw T's picture online on a website related to something my daughter is involved in. I sent him a message asking if I knew him because he looked incredibly familiar to me, he responded and we've been getting to know each other ever since. There are so many strange coincidences and weird circumstances he's said "it's a sign" more than he's said any other three word strings since we met. He's gorgeous, intelligent, thoughtful, romantic, sensitive, an artist respected around the world.

 

Five weeks in and we're in stupid, crazy love. I believe everything I've been through has led me directly to this man who told me last night on the phone "you're my life".

 

(He's never been married. I told him I wasn't going to get married again. He smiled and said, "we'll see".)

 

Love is DEFINITELY in the air.

[rapunzel]

Inspiring! Hope it works out wonderfully for you!

[Realitynut]

WOW, love must be in the air! This week a very nice looking guy started emailing me. He just joined the dating site last wk. so no one else has had a chance to snap him up. He lives an hour and a half away. Not great, but it's not 4 hrs. like dan. He thought he might drive down and see me today, but decided he needed to stay home and rake leaves before it gets to cold.

So at first I was a little disappointed, then thought, oh well, I'm too fat anyway. He's 6'4" tall and I'm only 5'3", and very thin.

Anyway, he called tonite and we talked for over 2 hrs. Not since Dan have I ever done this. Last night even tho we just started emailing, he said goodnight sweet Carla. He knows the way to my heart....sweet talk me!!! lol Dan always said he didn't know how to give words of affirmation. Here are a couple more good points about him:

 

He had been married 30 yrs. then divorced. No kids! Yippee. He then told me his ex-wife was deceased. She had comitted suicide.

I asked if it was over him, he said NO! She had depression. I told him I felt like that over Dan. He said, "call me, if you ever feel that way again! I won't. He then dated another woman for 3 years. He said he was never crazy in love with either of them. (but at least he knows how to stick with it and try)

He's very attractive. He has a huge amount of grayish thick hair, and a dark mustache. But he just shaved his mustache off, and I had loved iit, so I'm trying to see if he can grow it back before he meets me!!! LOL I'm already telling him how to look!!! Hehehehe He sent me a pic over the phone, and he looks better with it! ALSO, he has a home he designed and built in 1990 and it's large and sits on a one acre wooded lot. He has alluded to the fact that he makes a good income. In his profile, he said he was looking for someone financially ...oh...not stable, can't think of the word. Anyway, I told him I was poor, but my Dad had money!!

 

He said he was a little worried what I would be thinking if we were kissing, or sometime being intimate....meaning thinking about Dan. I was honest, and said that I am still very hurt over it. At one time talking about 'him' I actually started crying! Boy, I bet that empressed the new guy "Brent". He kept saying, Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.

I said, aughhhh that's o.k. I cry all the time......

 

So any way, he sounds good on paper. He was grilling Turkey thighs on his grill tonite with garlic and quartered potatoes brushed with olive oil and spices. He said "do you like to eat Healthy? I'll cook for you." I told him how I gained a lot of weight, and ate LOTS of bread and butter and sugar and cheese. (after we hung up at 12 midnight) I fixed myself a grilled cheese sandwich.!! LOL Also he like to cycle, and wants to buy me a bike to ride with him. I told him I like Mountain bikes, and a want a big fat bike seat on it. He didn't agree....I can see an argument coming over that one!

 

I told him I'd have to fix us something 'yummy' once a week to eat...like brownies!

 

And we haven't even met yet!!! LOL We'll probably meet and we won't even like each other. I've cried the last 3 days just a little over dan. I do miss him. I do miss my life with him. I have to remember NOT to compare any new guy with him...because every guy is different. There may be some things I like about Dan, and NO ONE will ever be able to fill those shoes. But then hopefully, he'll have things that I like that were an issure with Dan.

 

Brent already said 'we' should be our main priority. He would never insisted on having his ex over all the time, like dan did! And NO KIDS ya hoo!!!

 

I have to realize that maybe I was obsessed with Dan. Maybe I will always miss him a little (hopefully not a lot) Maybe this guy will actually learn to like/love me dispite my chubby body. He keeps saying I'm beautiful (the pic on here) I try to tell him that it was a good picture. He thinks I'm funny! (I am, aren't I??) Hopefully I will be able to keep my emotions under control, and my pouting, pushing pulling, neediness, clingyness, temper-tantrums,...ahhhh.....am I missing anything.....can all be kept to a minimum. Before I thought I should be loved as I was. faults and all. but then I found that I lost the one I loved, cuz he couldn't love me, faults and all...

 

So I will say to all of us on here finding new love ....Here's to SB, my friend, AB, Fudgie, me and all the others that have gone through heartbreak, and thinking their heart may never mend...maybe there is someone out there for us. Chi, I wasn't able to comment on your love life...give us an update! lol

 

Autumn, when you are talking about your new guy, it sounded like me and Dan after my 20 year marriage. I was so crazy in love and he was too! I can't imagine me ever being as in love with this guy. And maybe I don't want to be. I gave up everything for Dan, and I did it gladly. With this guy hopefully I'll be more cautious. It would be fun to be giddy again, and with someone who actually loves me back! Hugs to all....SB...I hope David's doing fine, and you are back in his arms were you belong!

[Silverbirch]

Oh God it's good tor ead about these turns of events for Autumn and Carla!!!

 

Chi, my housemate was on the property before I was. He has been there for over 8 years. The lease is in his name. The property was recently valued at $1.8 million, but I'm hopeful that I will be able to find a similar property eventually to lease in my name. Later on, I'm hoping to buy a small property to rent out and keep as an investment or towards something for retirement eventually. Something has happened though in that I recently had contact with the owner of the property. My housemate does not get off his a$$ to do one single thing on the property, and whinges constantly to the landlord despite being on a very good wicket. Anyway, the owners are getting on in years and health and their tractor recently broke down and they don't seem to own much maintenance equipment. They have in the past, but it has all died.

 

The housemate had kicked up a big stink about me wanting to put my ponies on the driveway for various times. The driveway is half a kilometre long and the surface of it is excellent in helping maintain good hoof health. He said it would be too much bother for him to open and close the gate. Next thing I hear, he has organised to have steers from next door put on the driveway. I got home a couple of days ago, and my dockhead housemate had not closed one of the gates properly. They were in the front yard, had eaten away at some plants I put in the garden and also gotten into the workshed and eaten a virtually on-opened bag of premium pony mix and made a big mess. I went up to the landlord because the steers were going to need to be moved. I was just ropeable and had a betch on with them. The wife knew hosemates third ex-wife and they told me that since she finally left him (and is so much better off), he has had numerous women similar to me living there and they have all had the same complaints and moved on.

 

I've known them for a while know and told them that I would like to find a similar property. I told them about David and how we hope to get a place together after June next year, and that we would have our own tractor and other equipment which I specified and that David is a qualified A grade mechanic. I saw their eyes open widely Asked them if they could tell me a bout a property 2 doors down. They said they would keep an eye out for me and said that if I do leave, they hope I will stay in contact with them. Then jokingly, I asked if my housemate died, would they consider leasing the property to me and David. They said an immediate yes, and then added, with any hope, he will go back to Sydney. My God, if that happened, I'd probably be inspired enough to go to church and praise the Lord! . . . I haven't been for many years! LOL! Anyway, they've been pretty friendly with me since, texted me his mobile phone number.

 

The housemate had 3 women stay over the weekend and was SO charming while they were there. Needless to say, after they left, he immediately went back to being his usual shothead self. LOL What else should I have expected. I just keep to myself as much as possible. I did think of something I hadn't given much thought to for a while. The house has some type of intercom system right throughout. The house was originally buildt for the landlord's parents. Anyway, I was told it didn't work by the housemate. Not long after I did move in, I noticed that I would say things to G, and that not too long afterwards, the housemate would bring the subject up of what I was discussing.

[Silverbirch]

Anyway, I had remarked to G that I thought this nude sketch that the housemate had in his dining area which I hadn't noticed when I looked at the house was quite very distasteful. It's basically of a fat womans a$$ bending over and I guess, the main focus is her rectum. Funny that withing a couple of days, the housemate remarked to me without me bringing it up that he did not like that sketch, that a friend of his from Sydney had drawn it and framed it as a gift and that was why he had it up and that he was going to get rid of it. Well, it's still there. He's a funny and gross little man.

 

Anwyay, one day I was in the kitchen, and I could hear the radio from my radio alarm in my bedroom coming from the kitchen intercom speaker. I told G about it, and he was going to help me work out how to bugger up the system in my bedroom and livng area so that there is no chance the housemate can listen in to anything going on in my bedroom or living area. I'm gong to have a look at it myself and I'll bet I can find a way to incapicitate it. LOL! Back again in a minute.

[Silverbirch]

Well, about David . . . it's been an emotional couple of days. Apparently, the doctors told him that if the infection spreads to his bone, he will need his lower leg amputated. He's in pain, he's extremely stressed about his business and losing clients and getting things done about his own property. I've felt the need to hold myself back in some ways. I'm pretty scared of getting dumped . . . again . . . the story of my life it seems. I can't even remember what day it was, but within the last few days, he was taling about things which need to be done on his property and that he has to get home to do them. I told him that I can do them for him. He got really angry and said I couldn't that I didn't have the strength. I pointed out to him that I've been doing those very things myself on my property for quite some time and I've managed okay. I have my own electric girly-type equipment - an electric scrub-cutter and mower, plus trolleys and I've worked in employment which has required manual handling skills. Then I added that I used to go out to people's homes and care for great big men with quadriplegia . . . even bigger than him, and I managed move them wherever I wanted them on the bed with a quick flick of my wrist and some manual handling equipment so moving the bags of chaff wouldn't be a problem. He went quiet, then said: "Sorry if I've offended . . . . if I need your help I'll ask." I just said nothing.

 

Last night before I went up to see him, I prepared myself for another evening of his grumpiness and I decided that if he was going to be grumpy again, I would just tell him that it seemed my visits were not helpful to either of us, but if he wanted to speak to or see me, he knows how to contact me.

 

Lo and behold, he was very glad to see me and very affectionate. I stroked his arm and he told me it was the first time in a week he could bear anyone touching him. He did however succesfully manage to stir me up a little on a few occasions with what I think is teasing. Grrrr. He told me that after his sister met me, she texted him to tell him she thinks I'm very pretty. I just said "That's sweet!" and he told me that he texted her back that all of the women he goes out with are good-looking. He'd also had been making remarks about "a big fat woman" at the hospital who he believes has given him a flu. I told him what I thought about some men's obsessions with women's weight. I thinkhe took some of it on board, but I think mostly he got a kick out of riling me up. Come to think of it, that was the only time I heard him laugh all week.

[Silverbirch]

Sorry for so many posts, but it feels like so much has happened. David rang me this evening. I'm working a long shift and sleeping over. There's a possibility they might let him home tomorrow, but the nurses will continue to visit him at home and give him the penicillin shots. He ate humble pie and said he was asking me if I would give him that help I offered with my girly equipment. I'd also asked him about some of the things I thought the nurses were supposed to being doing, that I did for him at home, but the nurses weren't doing. He asked the doctor about it today, and the doctor said I was right. Also his daughter had forgotten to bring up the correct ointments for his feet. I told him when he gets home, I'll take care of him, and he got all goey and said he knows I will.

 

Now this is another point where I need to keep my feet on the ground. With my last 2 exes, I did so many things for them in relation to their health and other matters, partly on account my work experience and partly because it is part of who and how I am. I know that is no guarantee that the relationship will last, and to expect nothing. With my last 2 exes, when there were other younger women with more money than me on the scene, and they were ready to discard me, you would have thought I was one of the worst partners in the world from what they said or did. Mind you, the newer younger more financially well-heeled gals didn't work out, and both those men have aged so much and look like $hit now. LOL! Well, yes, thing is, it's safer to rescue animals than people - especially if you are trying to rescue them from themselves. So I will do this without any expectations and try to keep my feet on the ground.

 

If you've read this far, you're a very patient person. Thank you so much.

 

And Carla and Autumn, you let me know how things progress with these new men please!

[Realitynut]

No SB, keep on posting...I was suppose to be getting ready for work, but couldn't pull my self away for your stories. At one point I thought, "I gotta pray for you and david..." Usually it's only me that I'm concerned about! LOL

 

I went to bed last night, and for the first time didn't think continually about Dan. My son said, Now don't get all excited about this new guy, then get hurt if it doesnt' work out!" I said "I know" I'm gonna try to be cautious. HeHe and I haven't even met him yet. Never dated a guy with money...hey that might be nice. Well, Dan had money, but didn't want to spend it. But this guy sounds like he make GOOD money. He might even not fuss about spending money on me, or taking me on a trip! I guess I have to learn to be REALLY nice!

 

I got really scared when you talked about possibly amputating part of David's leg!!! I certainly hope he's past that possibility!

What is it with these men that they can't give there woman a compliment! I'd be upset also if some guy said, "All the women I date are beautiful" I guess it's saying you are beautiful in a round a bout way, but he should have said, Ya isnt' she the greatest. Or yep, she's a keeper! When it comes to looks, or weight, women do NOT like to be teased!

 

Men can be so dumb!!!

 

Talk later, gotta get to work...my one and only customer today!

[Silverbirch]

Hi Carla,

I'll have my fingers crossed for you and the new guy.

 

Yes, I thought his comment was a bad sign of how it could be to come, and I do keep reminding myself that I'm still getting to know him. He said a couple of other similar things that day. I so hope that a lot of his behaviour is genuinely related to him being sick and that it isn't just a reflection on the real him. If it is, I'm not going to be able to stay with him.

[Realitynut]

oH, SWEETIE That last sentence made me SAD! think of it this way, he hasn't been with a woman for so long, and doesn't know what you need and want. You have to let him know, in no uncertain terms. You tell him POINT BLANK, that what he said the other day really effected your feelings. That women NEED to feel special, like they are one in a million, NOT just another one of a million! Let him know that you will not be able to stay with him, if he can't treat you kinder with his WORDS and ACTIONS! DAILY! You said he told you that he didn't want a 'clingy' woman, and told you all the things HE didn't want...and you were trying to be so careful on being the woman he wanted. Now he needs to know what YOU want in a man. Tell him that you love him, but sometimes you feel not appreciated or respected with some of the things he says.....

 

I'm sorry, you know what to say, I have a tendency to want to protect those that I've come to care about!!! LOL He'll shape up, cuz I feel he really does care about you, and would never want to lose you. Just keep thinking, he's a man and hasn't had to 'behave' appropriately in female company. Let him know RIGHT NOW...or when he feels better...LOL.....I really have a good feeling about you too! I think him having the prospect of losing a leg, his business, his life as he knows it....is doing crazy things to his head. Just tell yourself, he must be feeling especially bad...I know he loves me!!! Because who wouldn't???!!

 

Good Luck SB! Keep us updated! ps Tell David you are going to give him a spanking if he doesn't straighten up!

[Silverbirch]

Hi Carla,

Well things here are sort of up and down. David has been in and out of hospital. He's home right now, but has to go to hospital today to the outpatients and the nurses are still coming twice a day to see him. He's been very emotional and not travelling well mentally. He has reassured me that it isn't because of me. I don't think he will lose the leg providing that he continues to take care of himself. There is the worry that he will try and do too much. He certainly isn't coping too well with having to rest. There's also the worries of his business - that if he takes time out, he will lose clients.

 

I'm doing what I can to support and help him and it's a real balancing act. It seems that the major cause of the cellulitis is infection in his feet although there seem to be several contributing factors. I've been able to help with treatments to his feet (under medical supervision), and the nurses have said I'm doing a great job. He was also stressing out about the grass growing so quickly and so high around his house so I mowed it and scrub cut part of it - even around his bees nest - yah, he produces his own honey! Then I have to know when to go off and leave him alone. At least when I did the yard, I was able to not be around him, but do something practical. He's been like a bear - even worse with his father and daughter. It sounds weird, but when he gets sick, his sense of smell becomes heightened. I stayed over at his place the other night after I brought him home from the hospital, and had spent some time with his feet with the dressings, etc. When I got into bed, he announced that there was a "medicine type smell on Silver" which was preventing him from being able to go to sleep. This was a big drama and embarrassing and uncomfortable for me. This was at 2am after hearing him * * * * * for hours. Anyway, I was just going to go home, but we finally isolated the smell which turned out to be handwash from his bathroom bought by his daughter. I ended up washing my hands with toothpaste. There was similar crap like this that happened the next morning. I just went home and told him he could contact me if he needed anything or wanted a chat on the phone. So of course, after I've been away from him for half a day, I get this lovely text from him telling me how he loves me and he knows he's been difficult and that none of it is to do with me. Also, I have left my laptop at his place. I went last night and collected it, and it was disappointing to find he was still David the Bear. I decided not to stay, and he insisted on walking me out to my car. Then as I'm ready to go, he's telling me all this stuff which is just contradictory and confusing.

 

He tells me he is scared to death of "getting caught by a woman", that no woman has stayed with him for a long time because his behaviour has scared them off, blah, blah, blah. All this sort of stuff, then followed by the fact that he really loves me, and no he doesn't want "a break" or to see less of me. He says I can do so much better than him and he doesn't feel he has anything to offer me. He says that all of his friends and family like me a lot and he is proud of me, and he says he doesn't think he can ever do for me the things I have done for him - I'm not even sure what I've done for him. Then he says he wakes up in the morning and wants to see me, but can't just ring or text me and tell me that.

 

I spent all of yesterday outdoors on my own little farm with my ponies and at the very beginning of preparing for growing my organic garlic (I already have my first customer and I haven't planted it yet - it's fetching $80 per kg at the wholesale fruit and vegetable markets and the organic fruit and vegetable outlets just can't get enough). I've got lots of ideas about it. I'm not going to mass produce - even if that was possible. There is more money to be made and less financial risk in actually trying to produce a particularly hardy, disease and fungal resistant variety. There would be great satisfaction for me at many levels if I was to achieve that. Also did quite a lot of scrub cutting here, exercising my ponies and walking them on the road. There is so much I want to do. Hey Carla, the rope halters here that they use in natural horsemanship are expensive. I'm gong to teach myself how to make them and then hopefully sell custom-made ones. I can't get one that fits Little Black Pony just right which means I have less control of him when I'm walking and training him.

 

It's very windy here today. I have a girlfriend coming tomorrow from interstate for a couple of days and have things to do with that. I'm really poor atm too. I have paid up to $1.58 per litre for petrol here this week and I have to do a lot of driving. I'm going to have to get busy saving as much as I can.

 

I have just kept my distance from the housemate and that seems to be helping a lot. I think he was trying to strike up a sort of conversation with me yesterday. He saw me in the yard making some adjustments to a small part of the fencing of one of my pony paddocks. Of course, he was telling me that what I was doing was wrong and unnecessary. I just grunted. He'd also come home in a new car - a Peugot which is considered pretty flash here. I didn't say or ask anything about it which I'm sure would have disappointed him as he's such a poser. I've decided that when he says anything to me, I'll sort of humor him by saying "Yes, alright." I'll tell him absolutely nothing about myself or my life and I don't want to know anything about his. Will just make sure I always have my rent, I keep my place clean and I'm a quiet tenant. If he has any problems with that, he can stick it up his a$$.

 

Well, I'd better get stuck into some work now. Hope things are going well for everyone here. Carla, hope that new man has turned out to be nice and same for Autumborn. Hugs to Chi and anyone else here. xxxxx

[AutumnBorn]

Good Luck SB! Keep us updated! ps Tell David you are going to give him a spanking if he doesn't straighten up!

 

Careful there - remember it isn't punishment if they enjoy it.

 

SB, Carla, I can hardly wait to read your updates. All is going very, very well with me and T.

[chitown9]

Hey, Silver...good to hear from you. Glad to learn that David is home now and doing better, thanks to you. You should are a busy gal! Will check in later....

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Chi,

David is still in a fair amount of pain and definitely not back to being his old and usual self yet. I can't recall if I posted that they found he also has a blood clot in his leg (which will be okay), but that is likely to have caused a lot of pain and the cellulitis. Emotionally, he isn't doing well. He told me he has never been this sick or in this much pain in his life before. He's very, very stressed about money and his business. Family have offered to help him out, but he has a lot of pride and says "he's not ready to pass around the collection hat yet". The nurses have shown him how to give himself injections, and he is hoping that when he goes back to the hospital tomorrow, they will remove the iv cannula from his arm and he can then go onto oral penicillin.

 

He came over last night and he and one of my best girlfriends got to meet and liked each other a lot. He ended up staying for dinner and quite late too. My friend seems to think he likes me a lot, but the illness is playing a big part on every aspect of his life right now, and she thinks he's also freaking out big time, having not been in a relationship for over 10 years. I'm feeling very insecure about the relationship right now and realise I have to get back to focusing on my life and my goals. He doesn't want me around lots atm. He hasn't said so, but I'm not totally dumb. Still having daily contact - well twice a day today. My friend and I were supposed to go around to his place today to play with his horses, but I could tell he was needing his own space so we deferred and will likely go tomorrow.

 

Yesterday afternoon, the housemate got nasty with me because while my visitors were here, I brought the 3 little ponies into the back yard to show them. They were only in the yard for a short time. He called down at me from his porch demanding to know what I was doing with my ponies ("What ARE you doing??)in relation to some training in the most condescending, patronising way. I answered briefly saying I was utilising some natural horsemanship techniques. He continued to press the matter in a rude way which shocked me as he had a girlfriend of his there with him, and normally he is MR. CHARM in front of other women. My girlfriend was quite creeped out with how he was with her too.When he continued to press the matter, I told him, he should speak more with David about it as David knows a lot on the subject. He raised his voice at me saying that he was asking me and demanded I speak with him more. I felt myself becoming increasingly unnerved by him, and said "Don't worry about it H and walked away." I've hardly seen him since thank God, but have begun actively looking for somewhere else to live (on my own). David has said that I can go and live with him if I need to get out really quickly and he has urged me to send my ponies to his property until I find somewhere to live. The offer is just for the short-term - he had also said to me a few weeks ago, that if we live together at some point, it should be a new place that we get together. Since the illness though, there has been no talk about a place together, but quite a lot of talk about my failure to have given up the cigarettes yet even though I don't even smoke in front of him at my own place of residence and not on his property either.

 

I told him I am grateful for the offer and appreciate it, but I would only take him up on it in an emergency, that I don't want to foist myself on ANYONE, and I will focus on finding my own home. I have decided to work more hours at work as I'm prepared to obviously pay quite a lot more money in rent so that I don't have to cope with anyone again like my housemate. If I do ever live with David, as mushy as it may sound to anyone, I only ever want it to be because we love each other and that's why we would want to live together. I've seen a lovely place which I could afford if I took up my bosses urgings to take on more hours at work. I'm going to do this. I won't be fast enough to get this house I've seen. It's a lovely little 2 storey mudbrick home with a lovely garden on an acreage.

 

I know I love him. He does tell me every day when he says good-bye to me that he loves me, but I can sense he is uncomfortable and of course from things he says too.

 

I had to start another course of Cortisone today as my allergy is really playing up right now. I have broken out in blisters on part of my face, and had a bit of a mishap too with a piece of rusty wire while I was fixing a fence and feel positively ugly right now. I also had to ring my vet today and make arrangements to have my 18 year old cat put down. She doesn't appear to be in pain, but it does seem very likely that she has cancer and she won't cope with the move. She wants to be inside a lot now and with my allergy to cat hair and the fact that she is now incontinent due to her age, after long discussion with the vet, it was decided that we will use the kindest form of euthanasia. My ex-husband (son's father) who I have been divorced from for nearly 20 years has kindly allowed me to bury pus in the back garden. It was almost dead when we first moved there, but I restored it and loved it so much, and I don't want my moggy going to a place I can never visit or where my heart has never been, and I definitely can't afford a plot at the pet cemetery.

 

If things don't work out with David, I'm having thought of moving interstate at some point. Course it will take some planning and a little time. It's expensive living in this state. I know for certain David has NOT been a rebound.

[chitown9]

Hi Silver, Gosh, it seems like you are suddenly faced with issues that are interfering with that wonderful getting-to-know you time with David. Illness, financial strain and a crazed housemate makes for a lot of stress. I am pleased to learn that you are proceeding in a proactive fashion in looking to get away from the housemate as soon as possible. Thank you for your last posting as I have been wondering about you. Will stay in touch, as always lol.....chi

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Chi and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CARING. I am taking my interstate friend to a wildlife park shortly and be out all day, but back tonight. David had cannula taken out of his arm and sounding much happier. Called me from the local airport where he was having coffee with his pilot friends which is a good sign. Will see him later today. He is very happy to hear also that I'm taking steps to get out of here finally. As for any future electricity bills from THIS house, the crazed housemate can go sing for it. I'm very, very angry. Plan on stay cool and collected, but he wont get one cent out of me for any owing electricity now. All he had to do was behave with the normal respect and courtesy you would expect from anyone. It pays to be nice. My previous landlords have given and promised me excellent references and I need nothing from this DH.

 

Anyway, have a great day. Will post later tonight. xxxxx

[Silverbirch]

Hi Chi,

Just a quick update. David is going MUCH better now. They took the iv cannula out and so he is on oral antibiotics now. He's getting about a lot more now and even started doing some work with horses again. It's a public holiday in our state today on account of the Melbourne Cup. It's not something either David or I get enthused about thought it's a big thing here for a lot of people - parties and women spending a lot of money on clothing - a lot of interstate and international visitors into Melbourne.

 

My interstate friend and I had a lovely day out and about yesterday and called in to see David and his horses. Friend was a strapper in the racing industry for several years and had a passion for horses most of her life and she is a lovely person, one of my best friends and so the 3 of us were relaxed and chatty. One of David's ponies has come down with laminitis (from eating too much green grass), and he says this is because with his own illness, he wasn't able to give them as much care and attention as usual, but I think it's just one of those things. She's prone to it anyway. I cleaned out her hooves while he worked on his old retired racehorse and we all chin-wagged. He's off today to do some paid work so fingers crossed, he will be okay. I think he will be.

 

His legs and feet look greatly improved and his emotional state much better too. He's still feeling cold a lot of the time, but now that he's moving about again, I would expect this to improve. He was very apologetic about his moods and what he sees now as a distorted way of seeing things during his illness. He suggested again that I not see him when he is unwell, that he would be fully supportive of that. I told him that I would be more stressed by not seeing him even just briefly while he is unwell, and would rather put up with his quirkiness during this time. I actually got to see some of the old David last night which was good. I was surprised that he brought up the subject of us living together again at some point in the future, but he wants it to be at a time when things are more settled in our lives and we get a place together which is specifically for both of us.

 

Rang a real estate agent yesterday and enquired about a lovely place which would be perfect for me, especially for the next year or so. This one has just gone, but it will be a couple of weeks for me to get together a few thousand dollars to pay for the move and costs, but looks like I will be okay. I am so looking forward to getting away from the housemate and having my personal freedom and privacy again although I may be a little sad to leave such a beautiful property where my horses and pets are so relaxed and happy. I'm praying and sending messages out to the universe that I can find a place just right for them too.

 

When my girlfriend and I were together, we talked about all sorts of things, but especially had some good laughs taling about the ex-boyfriends we had known each other through. She's slightly ahead of me in numbers! LOL! The comment "What was I thinking????" came up a few times. Whe has just bought a business so likely won't be back for at least a few months, but next time will drive over and bring her dogs as I will be in my onw place by then and we will have an even better time.

 

Hope all is well. I'm a year older today and looking forward to speaking with my family throughout the day. Have a good one. xxxxx