Do you share your facebook password with your significant other?

[OptomisticGirl]

And I guess I see it as secrets because he doesn't want me to see I just don't really understand the logic behind not wanting me to see it if there's nothing bad on there, because that's the reason I DON'T mind if he sees...

 

You really have to get out of this mindset though. You are applying your view point and logic to the world to HIS actions, and it just doesn't work that way. By your logic (the logic of being okay with him having your password) it doesn't make sense but from his logic, it does. He's a private person and therefore YOUR logic seems flawed to him.

[FairyGodmother]

Yeah, both my husband and I are the same and we do not see it as "keeping secrets", just that we are separate people and I do not think you can ever know every single living thing about a person. And really I think why would one want to?

 

So you think it infringes on his sense of individualism? I guess, just being the way I am (ridiculously open) I don't see the point, but we do have completely different personalities so I'll just have to learn to respect that

[Seraphim]

You really have to get out of this mindset though. You are applying your view point and logic to the world to HIS actions, and it just doesn't work that way. By your logic (the logic of being okay with him having your password) it doesn't make sense but from his logic, it does. He's a private person and therefore YOUR logic seems flawed to him.

 

That is exactly it. One has to be with people who value the same things because if you don't then you are in for a bumpy ride. It does not make either person wrong but just that the two people do not value the same things.

[Seraphim]

So you think it infringes on his sense of individualism? I guess, just being the way I am (ridiculously open) I don't see the point, but we do have completely different personalities so I'll just have to learn to respect that

 

Sure, lots of people are individual and private and it in NO way means they are "sneaky" or "hiding" or they will be open when they find the "right" person. A person has every right to be private if they so choose. Just as you have a right to be as open as you want. When people start not respecting the right of the other person to be who they are and expecting them to be like you that is where the problems come from.

[FairyGodmother]

Sure, lots of people are individual and private and it in NO way means they are "sneaky" or "hiding" or they will be open when they find the "right" person. A person has every right to be private if they so choose. Just as you have a right to be as open as you want. When people start not respecting the right of the other person to be who they are and expecting them to be like you that is where the problems come from.

 

Thanks, I didn't think of it that way before... I guess it's hard not to apply my logic to everything he does, because obviously I can only see the world from my point of view, and I guess I just assume he thinks the same as I do. But from what you said, I can see how it would be unreasonable to expect him to be like me

[Unknown1607307972]

I refuse to share a single password with *anybody* unless it is essential (such as someone fixing my PC needing access while I am not around to enter it myself) because I am a very private person. I am not having affairs or doing anything wrong but I just don't like people having access to my stuff like that. Fortunately my boyfriend is the same with his passwords so he understands why I don't share mine.

 

I am still far more private than my boyfriend though, I can't even stand him looking at my computer screen when I use it (even when I am just on facebook or something) and I get mad when he wants to do something with my computer and just takes over the mouse and keyboard without giving me time to minimise my windows! I am just so private, I've been that way since childhood, but I honestly am not doing anything sneaky. I can't explain why I am like this, it's just how I am and there's probably others out there like me.

[OptomisticGirl]

Thanks, I didn't think of it that way before... I guess it's hard not to apply my logic to everything he does, because obviously I can only see the world from my point of view, and I guess I just assume he thinks the same as I do. But from what you said, I can see how it would be unreasonable to expect him to be like me

 

You can actually see the world from other POVs, it's just a matter of learning your way isn't the only way. While I lead my life one way and in one direction, I also know there are other ways and other directions people go. And while I can have an opnion about their way of doing things and compare it to how I view the world, it doesn't mean they are wrong.

[Seraphim]

Thanks, I didn't think of it that way before... I guess it's hard not to apply my logic to everything he does, because obviously I can only see the world from my point of view, and I guess I just assume he thinks the same as I do. But from what you said, I can see how it would be unreasonable to expect him to be like me

 

That is the thing, we are all not the same person and we do not all think the same way. It does not mean either person is wrong, only different. There is no one way to be or do things.

[volvic1]

@ volvic1

 

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol I swear I wasn't trying to log onto his facebook, he left it logged in on my computer, and I went to log into my own but the page said something like " You have been logged out. Your password was changed at 4:57 pm. Not you? Click here if you've been phished" or something like that. So then I was just like ... wut ?_? WHYYYYYYYYYYY. I don't know it was just weird that he changed it right after coming back from a long trip with me, especially when we're in a long distance relationship Not really sure what that means...

 

Haha oh yeah I know that thing that comes up, I know one time my facebook made me change passwords, Im not fully sure why it happened but I did end up changing my password, so this could be the situation. I know what your feeling though too, im also in a LDR and something like that I think would upset me, but unlike you I dont think im that Open with everything, I dont have anything to hide but I dont particularly think I would like my BF logging into my account all the time? (not that Im saying thats what you would do) but you know what I mean Lol the most I read stuff on this site its seems facebook causes so many issues!

[OptomisticGirl]

Haha oh yeah I know that thing that comes up, I know one time my facebook made me change passwords, Im not fully sure why it happened but I did end up changing my password, so this could be the situation. I know what your feeling though too, im also in a LDR and something like that I think would upset me, but unlike you I dont think im that Open with everything, I dont have anything to hide but I dont particularly think I would like my BF logging into my account all the time? (not that Im saying thats what you would do) but you know what I mean Lol the most I read stuff on this site its seems facebook causes so many issues!

 

I also wanted to add that I myself am in a LDR - 4,000 mile on - and while I always advocate openness and honesty in LDRs, you also can't LOSE your individualism in the LDR. For some that means they don't want to be open, others do want to be open.

[volvic1]

I also wanted to add that I myself am in a LDR - 4,000 mile on - and while I always advocate openness and honesty in LDRs, you also can't LOSE your individualism in the LDR. For some that means they don't want to be open, others do want to be open.

 

Well my LDR isnt quite as bad - 200km - So I admire you alot since I find mine hard. But yes I agree, for me I need him to be open in telling me stuff so I feel part of his life and still close to him, but not neccessarily everything about him, as he would be less open than me, not out of badness but just simply because that's who he is

[Koglin]

Hey Guys

 

Just out of curiosity, I was wondering how many people actually share the password to their facebook (or any other personal profile for that matter) with their significant other. Do you think it's a sign of good trust in the relationship if you do so (and inversely a lack thereof if you don't)? And what do you do if the other person doesn't want to share their password with you? Would you be offended/suspicious, or would you accept it as one of those things where they just need some private space for themselves?

 

Thanks so much for your input!

 

Quite the opposite actually, I think it's a huge sign of mis-trust if the couple finds the need to exchange passwords for facebook or other accounts while in a relationship. I would never want this in my relationship. I barely have time to keep up with my own facebook and email accounts let alone my girlfriends.

[Fudgie]

I personally don't share passwords.

 

I don't care if my SO sees my FB (I don't have it now but when I did) when I'm not around or even my email, but I wouldn't give the passwords. I don't know. i think for some couples, like OG and CS, it works because it's out of necessity and they don't feel the need to "check up" on each other.

 

However, from what I've seen, MOST couples DO "check up" on each other when they have each others' passwords. Which I don't really think is cool. I'd rather have my partner trust me and TALK to me about insecurities before rifling through my stuff. The whole snooping/checking up on someone seems really parental and gives me the creeps.

 

I see it as a sign of insecurity and MISTRUST if couples HAVE to have each others' passwords so they can "legally" snoop and be secure in the relationship. I don't feel that's a good situation at all.

 

Of course, I have nothing to hide and if my partner felt that something was up, I'd show him my email and stuff.

[civilservant]

Quite the opposite actually, I think it's a huge sign of mis-trust if the couple finds the need to exchange passwords for facebook or other accounts while in a relationship.

 

And I can say with 100% certainty in our case that you're wrong.

[Day_Walker]

I never had shared my passwords with a significant other. I do not request that she share them with me. I dont see how it shows that you trust a person more if you give a person access to such things, instead it just seems to feed their need to have access to everything about you in order to trust you. That isnt trust it is insecurity.

[civilservant]

As far as I can recall there was never any requesting of passwords between us. I think one asked how ou felt about having access and the other said no problem, and vica versa. I dont need OGs passwords to trust her.

[testcase]

Heck no! And I never would give her my facebook password. How am I supposed to be messaging other girls if she keeps on peepin my emails?!?

 

^ Joke, joke. Na I don't have anything to hide but I need my privacy. I don't care what she does on her facebook and I hope she doesn't care what I do on mine.

[Glowguy]

I think it's a bad idea and will probably work against you in the long run. Next time around I think I'll go even further and just keep FB completely out of my relationship. Not because I have anything to hide (I rarely use it), but just to avoid unnecessary drama. Just look at all the FB based threads on this forum. I think it invites many more problems and does very little to build trust. I have a tendency to blow things out of proportion sometimes so I know it's in my best interests to just ignore my SO's FB page.

[OptomisticGirl]

Yep, it works for some, others it doesn't. Aside from making sure he is still alive or the odd 'log in and look at this', we don't log into each others stuff. Now from time to time we will log into each others face poke and post stupid statices but that's far as it goes.

 

I guess for us we trust each other enough to give our passwords to each other and trust that we won't abuse the privilege. So the trust for us really comes into how we handle the knowledge we have.

[Doc Blaze]

i feel like there is no need to share passwords. whats the pt of it unless there is a real need. only password my gf has is my iphone password but we also never hide things.

[Batya33]

We don't affirmatively share passwords but I keep my profiles up on the computer when I walk away and same with my email. He does the same. If I click on his email (accidentally) or see an email or IM pop up on the screen I may glance at it and I might even tell him about it if it seems important but that's the extent of it. We share passwords with each other when needed to do business or to look something up if needed. I don't think there's a reason to share passwords to social networking sites.

[Doc Blaze]

We don't affirmatively share passwords but I keep my profiles up on the computer when I walk away and same with my email. He does the same. If I click on his email (accidentally) or see an email or IM pop up on the screen I may glance at it and I might even tell him about it if it seems important but that's the extent of it. We share passwords with each other when needed to do business or to look something up if needed. I don't think there's a reason to share passwords to social networking sites.

this..this is what me and my gf do.."like babe can you go check my email real fast, im expecting something important". here is my password

[Kitkat973]

We share passwords, and I've never really felt that it was odd or detrimental to our relationship. Sometimes he'll call me from work and ask me to go through his things and email him a file with the first hundred thousand prime numbers. We use the same Pandora, since he got me a paid account for my last birthday. If I want to check his email I can, and vice-versa, but I don't really feel the need to.

 

I do have the pass to his facebook, and vice-versa, but neither of us really use it.

[RitaTrue]

With my ex, he gave me his facebook password. As well as his credit card password. However, I've forgotten both.

 

Personally, looking back, although I think its a sweet gesture of trust, I think that gives the other person TOO MUCH POWER and information. I personally would be VERY tempted to log onto my ex's facebook now, if I still remembered, for instance.

 

I think each person deserves their share of privacy.

 

And I think that may have been one of the reasons why my ex felt a little hurt, that I didn't share my passwords with him, the way he did with me.

[tinkerbellkj]

I do not have the password to my husbands facebook, though I could probably guess it because he uses the same password for EVERYTHING. I have never once looked at his phone his email, etc. I did have the PIN to his debit card (we share the same account, but different cards), though I do not remember it. I don't consider it a secret that we haven't shared this information, it's just not necessary for us.