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civilservant

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Everything posted by civilservant

  1. Have You ever loved someone But knew they didn't care? Have You ever felt like crying But Knew you'd get no where? Have you ever looked into their eyes And said a little prayer? Have you ever looked into their hearts And wished that you were there? Have you ever felt their heartbeat, When the lights were turned down low? Have you ever whispered 'God, I love You' But you'll never let me show? Love is grand, yet it hurts so much. The price you pay is high. If I could choose between Love and Death, I'd rather choose to die. So do not fall in love, my friend, It doesn't pay a dime. It only causes broken hearts, Yet it happens all the time. So do not fall in love, my friend, You'll hurt before it's through. I ought to know this truth, my friend - I fell in love with you.
  2. Faces, Pushed into the rain, Broken, Full of empty shame, Waiting, For a person to complete, Alone, Walking on this street, Confidence, An empty shell of a man, Battered, Hit as often as she can, Deserving, Of this beat down he sees, Thinking, Please take me on the breeze, Suffering, From this lack of life, Desperate, To away from the strife, Hungry, To stop these bleeds, Obviously, A new life he needs, Searching, For a flight to climb upon, A Lifeboat, From this thing he did wrong.
  3. So Long, BB One year on, times had changed, Why must you have still been here? Infrequent contact, saying get lost, Wasn't telling you often that clear? It's funny our final meeting took place, Quite by the hand of chance, In the place it started just Easter last, Where we began this dance, So "So Long, BB" was all I could muster, I think you finally agreed, That apart we are better than the whole, Like Sam, now maybe you'll see, But I hope you know as we go on, Maybe friends but more likely not, That I thank you for your importance to me, You taught me such a lot. Dedicated to a lost love - "BB"
  4. If I didnt know better I'd say the OP was more an advertisment then anything else..
  5. Ive wrote some very self loathing and vengeful poems in my life, especially during my depression earlier this year, but they were private and no one will ever read them as I don't feel that way anymore. I would urge people to think through this, because to write dark words you have to be in a dark place.
  6. Redefining the boundaries, Of what it means to be whole, This women completes my life so much, Like she's the lost half of my soul, She'll probably never return this, Frankness may scare her away, Heres hoping that's not the case, however, I want her now to stay, Walking through the troubled times, That women by my side, Marriage, kids, the whole nine yards, A family would be my pride, Growing older together each day, Love with-standing all the tests, To hold her forever in my arms, Will bleed out all the stress, And if saying it makes me corny, who cares? Because in this my words are true, If I had to choose my one right now, B, it would be you....
  7. Listening to you on this phone, Telling me what you've done, Needing the solace of anothers' voice, As you reach the end of your run, It might be what I volunteered for, That dosent mean I won't mourn you, The fact we've never met in person, Dosent make your death less true, Ragged breathing growing raspy and weak, You're sensing the ending near, Why didn't you call and talk to us, When you were thinking clear? Instead leaving it 'till far too late, To tell us that you're blue, It make's me cry, I'm human also, And it'll kill your family too. Dedicated to my friends and colleagues.
  8. Now that me laugh! Seriously though, thanks guys..
  9. How do I tell her, What I need to say, And what she means to me, How do I tell her, She caused me to be better, That my heart leaps for her, And shes already saved me, How do I tell her, She is the most beautiful women, I ever have or ever will see, Or that she is my all, How do I tell her, She can do anything, And already is everything, In my eyes, How do I tell her, All I ever want, Is to be hers, and her mine, To be a family. How do I tell her, I'd kill for her smile, Or die to save her, That all I want is her happiness, How do I tell her, How do I make it clear, How do I step in front of her, And tell her... That I love her, just as she is.....
  10. Lifeboat Faces, Pushed into the rain, Broken, Full of empty shame, Waiting, For a person to complete, Alone, Walking on this street, Confidence, An empty shell of a man, Battered, Hit as often as she can, Deserving, Of this beat down he sees, Thinking, Please take me on the breeze, Suffering, From this lack of life, Desperate, To away from the strife, Hungry, To stop these bleeds, Obviously, A new life he needs, Searching, For a light to climb upon, A, Lifeboat, From this thing he did wrong. ------------------------------------------------------------------- These Empty Streets People say appreciate little things, Learn again to be single, Get to know new people and love, Take time to go and mingle, But people seem a shade of grey, As does all of my life, I can't imagine anyone else, Being my partner or my wife, The sky seems somehow duller, A misty reflection of murk, The lonely, broken and ruined soul, I walk alone and lurk, The wind blows through these empty streets, And chills my bones to the core, It's at this point I need to see the future, To know whats really in store, So I hope for the soon return of the colour, And the reason for keeping my life, Because it's not about you and me in the end, I don't really need a wife.
  11. You're not going, It hurts, I'll never be with you again, I cry, I want to see you, So much, But I never will, Goodbye, Sit here alone, Crying, Making me better, No one, I want to die, Soon, Feeling oh so empty, Numb, Dying inside, Slowly, Thoughts overtake me, Deadly, Alone forever, Obviously, Over you I feel, Broken. 15/08/08
  12. Very good, emotionally strong piece another. I do think it might need a suicide warning in the title though.
  13. Thanks for your king words Another, I'm glad you liked it. Any other opinions? I'm always open to constructive criticism and would love to hear some opinions for improvment if anyone has any
  14. It feels like the first time, I knew you were the one, It feels like the first time, I awoke with you to the sun, Everytime it happened, A part of me I gave, Now no longer having the privilidge, Forces me to be brave, The sun still rises everyday, Reminds me of the time, That we were together, enjoying life, Remembering is a crime, When you came to work each day, You smile always knocked me out, But now I never see or hear you, And it causes me to shout, I know I love the idea of you, Not who you truly are, And my memory has created this being, Brighter than the stars, I shall forever remember your name, From my heart it wont ever lift, No matter how far away you are, Or with who you now share that gift. 28/07/2008
  15. Beautiful poem, flows very nicely. Well done!
  16. Thanks clab, I'm please you like it. This is actually going in the post to the ex tomorrow, kind of a closure thing. Nothing with it, not a name or anything, just as it is.
  17. Because of you, The joy of life is renewed, Because of you, My faith in the human race was proved, Because of you, I see the better side of me, Beause of you, A better person is going to be, Thank you for being who you are, Thank you for being such a star, Because of you, I sought the help I needed, Because of you, That advice I heeded, Because of you, Every day is a dawn, Because of you, A better way is born, Thank you so much for all these things, Thank you for the joy it brings, These words I've wrote I've started many times, Perhaps this atones for some of my crimes, I wish I could say some words to heal, But because of you, I can't make that deal, So all I can say now to come to a end. Is goodbye, god bless, and post this to send, I want you to know that all this is true, And thank you so much for being you Just a quick one, dosent make all that much sense. Any critique appreciated.
  18. Firstly I denied you'd gone, Thought that you had simply made a mistake and would return, Denied my part in the mess we created, Wondering if turning back would be easy. Moving through the denial, came the anger, I hated what you were, Wrote bitter verse of the lesser person you are, Told myself I wished you dead, that something would befall you, Quickly I realized that it was my fault, I planned and plotted, posing myself questions, Would you come back if I changed? Became different? But even in the bargaining I knew the truth, Hardly it hit, but then was the depression. I left my job, withdrew, took pills, Longing to be near you and feel your touch again, Hating myself for pushing you away, Finally, after all this time, I accepted, We were never meant to be, and it wasn't our fault, Life has a funny way of throwing people together, And as we move on separately I hope we find happiness, These were my five stages, Not nice but needed, And from now on I'll remember you in fonder ways, Carrying a torch for the very special person you are.
  19. Bullets Fly, Soldiers Die, Relatives Cry, What's the point? They go to war because their leader asks them too, But in the end they fight for themselves, Those that they fight for rarely thank, Or even stand against the reason they're there, When that first bullet flies everything is forgotton, Pride in their country, pride in their uniform, In the end It's only ever about survival, To get back home to the ones they love, War isn't something we should resort to, The human race is better than that, Generations of our children destroyed, Bullets, bombs, planes and ships, All built to kill our fellow man, In the end we are all the same, Why don't our leaders feel any shame? Over the lives of young men sent to die, On foreign shores, In distant climes, Places that most people would struggle to name, Lord why don't our leaders feel any shame? Dedicated to a young man I went to school with, who became a soldier, killed in Afghanistan last week while serving the country that he loved. RIP.
  20. Your lyrics/poems are always wonderful musicguy, and another great one here. You have a real talent.
  21. I lost my soulmate, My other half, She wonders why I struggle to accept she's gone, My heart tells me to keep loving, My head tells me to let go of whats lost, What is left when hope fades? Nothing. I dont want to be alone, These wounds wont heal, Theres something under my skin, That stops me being me, People say to love and lose is better than to not love at all, To all you I say this, Rubbish. When someone leaves, You dont change, You cant, You wont, You dont see the need, But one day comes the realisation, That you're damaged, hurt and maimed, And things begin to change, In that moment, what returns? Hope. So now I go on, Praying for a better tomorrow, For a day when I can be me, Without fear of recrimination, Betrayal, anger, hurt, I wish you the worst, Perhaps this makes me, but I dont care, Terrible.
  22. Thanks Mr Me, It has done me good to be able to wite down my feelings and to be able to see them, although I'm nowhere near done with this. Ive write several, some dark, some on a happier note, because I'm still somewhat unsure on where to go from here it terms of getting over her.
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