Do you share your facebook password with your significant other?

[FairyGodmother]

Hey Guys

 

Just out of curiosity, I was wondering how many people actually share the password to their facebook (or any other personal profile for that matter) with their significant other. Do you think it's a sign of good trust in the relationship if you do so (and inversely a lack thereof if you don't)? And what do you do if the other person doesn't want to share their password with you? Would you be offended/suspicious, or would you accept it as one of those things where they just need some private space for themselves?

 

Thanks so much for your input!

[banal]

God no, I'd never do this. Everyone's entitled to privacy.

[volvic1]

My Ex and I who had a very unhealthy relationship, he knew my passwords to everything, which in the end ended with him logging into all my accounts checking who I was texting etc...

 

With my current BF, I dont want to know his passwords simply because I think the temptation to check his private stuff would be there, for me its the same thing as checking his texts or visa versa, I refuse flat out to look through his phone because I trust he isnt doing anything wrong, and sometimes looking at these private messages can be totally misinturpreted which leads to suspicions and doubt and jealousy.

 

I know if I said I really wanted his passwords he would give them to me, as I would give him mine too, but I honestly dont see why either would need them.

[FairyGodmother]

I completely understand that everyone is entitled to their privacy, but personally I don't mind sharing my password with my boyfriend ;p There's nothing on there I would mind him seeing, so I don't really care if he goes on it... Which is why it makes me kind of hurt when my boyfriend doesn't want to share his password with me. Like, I know that sometimes people just want personal space, but I guess it's hard to accept that he's not as open with me as I am with him...

[gingerlemon]

No, it's not something I consider natural in a relationship. I just don't see why I should have his passwords. I consider an insistence on sharing passwords as a sign of lack or trust, rather than the presence of trust. I trust that my H isn't up to anything 'bad' without me checking on him online.

[FairyGodmother]

@ volvic 1

 

Thanks, I guess that makes sense. I do trust him completely, so I guess it shouldn't really matter whether or not I can see his facebook. It was just hurtful because he changed his password after coming home from a two month trip with me (we're in a LDR). Obviously on the trip we checked fb and it just happened that we learned each others passwords, but he never seemed to mind at the time... I know he's entitled to his personal space, and I don't think there is anything suspicious on there, I guess it's just the fact that he's not as open with me as I am with him that bothers me I don't WANT to go on his facebook, I'd just like the reassurance that if I did, he would be fine with it.

[In the Dark]

If they don't want to share their pwd with me I don't care.

 

But then again I don't do facebook.

[FairyGodmother]

@gingerlemon

 

I'm really not searching for anything bad on his facebook if I'm ever on there... usually if I am, he's with me so we're just perusing funny posts in the news feed, but if I did ever go on there on my own, I never expected to see anything bad. I just like looking Which I guess just comes down to being nosey? Like it's not life or death for me to have his password, I don't really care that I can't see his facebook. It just bothers me that he doesn't want me to see? I don't really understand why...

[Stay_home]

I wouldn't and why should I?

[gingerlemon]

@gingerlemon

 

I'm really not searching for anything bad on his facebook if I'm ever on there... usually if I am, he's with me so we're just perusing funny posts in the news feed, but if I did ever go on there on my own, I never expected to see anything bad. I just like looking Which I guess just comes down to being nosey? Like it's not life or death for me to have his password, I don't really care that I can't see his facebook. It just bothers me that he doesn't want me to see? I don't really understand why...

 

I see - and I didn't mean to imply that you personally were looking for something 'bad', my comment was more general (and I think we posted roughly at the same time, so I hadn't read your post before mine when I responded).

 

As for the bolded, have you asked him directly? If yes, what did he say? Also, how long have the two of you been together? Personally, I'd be more hesitant to say yes to such a request in the first year or two of a relationship. Now that I'm married, if my H had asked me for my passwords, I would have given them to him if he had asked, but again I'm not sure I see the 'point'. It's a bit like, I wouldn't look through my H's postal mail or his phone or his personal diary, and I consider FB a bit equivalent to that (at least in terms of how we use it, we hardly use FB at all).

[volvic1]

@ volvic 1

 

Thanks, I guess that makes sense. I do trust him completely, so I guess it shouldn't really matter whether or not I can see his facebook. It was just hurtful because he changed his password after coming home from a two month trip with me (we're in a LDR). Obviously on the trip we checked fb and it just happened that we learned each others passwords, but he never seemed to mind at the time... I know he's entitled to his personal space, and I don't think there is anything suspicious on there, I guess it's just the fact that he's not as open with me as I am with him that bothers me I don't WANT to go on his facebook, I'd just like the reassurance that if I did, he would be fine with it.

 

I understand why it upsets you, Maybe hes the kinda guy that likes his privacy and changed his password because he thought you might be logging in to see what he gets up too, which I assume you did to find out that his password was changed?? I just know personally that like you i guess I am nosey and I know I more than likely would check his facebook regularly if I had the access ha! I don't want to be that person, and I slowly am becoming that way, like for example if his phone was in the room with me alone, I just wont look at it!! So with the password thing I just don't get myself in the situation that requires me to need temptation, and honestly its a much healthyier way to be

[gingerlemon]

Why do you want the passwords? I know you mentioned reciprocation of openness, but is there any other reason? What would you do if you had the passwords? Would you log in regularly? What would you look at/for? If he had your passwords, what would you expect him to do with that/look at etc?

[Seraphim]

My husband and I do not even know pin numbers on each other's bank cards. I do not have FB and do not even care to. I know he has FB. We also both have private emails and a family one. His laptop has a password but he leaves it open all the time. My laptop has a password but I keep mine locked because if he uses my pc he tends to break them and has ruined 4 of my pc's by letting in fatal viruses. So that is the reason I do not leave mine open. I know some people like to have the passwords for everything and if that works for them that is great. I like my privacy and my husband likes his too. We both feel people need some element of being a private person. I do not want to live in his pocket and he does not want to live in mine.

[FairyGodmother]

@ gingerlemon

 

Yeah, sorry my posts are all over the place lol it's hard to tell which posts actually came first 8D

 

I did ask him, but we haven't really had time to talk about it We've been friends for three and a half years, dating since december, dating exclusively since february, and in a relationship since july... so you could say we have a lot of history but our relationship is only just blossoming ;p I guess it may be too soon for sharing that kind of thing, but I really don't think it's about the timing with him. He's more reserved that I am, so I have a feeling it might just be a thing where he's never really going to want me to look at his facebook (which obviously isn't a deal breaker for me so I'll just have to suck it up). Like I said before, I don't want to look at his facebook, I'd just like to know that if I ever did want to, he'd let me, which like you said may just need some more time. I hope so anyway!

[OptomisticGirl]

Hey Guys

 

Just out of curiosity, I was wondering how many people actually share the password to their facebook (or any other personal profile for that matter) with their significant other. Do you think it's a sign of good trust in the relationship if you do so (and inversely a lack thereof if you don't)? And what do you do if the other person doesn't want to share their password with you? Would you be offended/suspicious, or would you accept it as one of those things where they just need some private space for themselves?

 

Thanks so much for your input!

 

My fiance and I have each other's facebook passwords - actually we have each other's password to just about anything you could think of. For us as a couple we know we have nothing to hide - why not give it to each other? Neither of us 'check up' on the other in that manner. There are times I need him to read something someone sent me in a facebook message or something someone posted and instead of sending him pastes it's just easier to say 'log in and look at this'. Same with our emails. It's the only way I have to check to see if he's actually alive and answering emails so if I'm ever worried I log in to see if he's answered any emails I have sent. We both have the understanding that we don't read emails between friends unless one of us goes 'I want you to read this'.

 

That being said, it's a couple by couple thing. My ex was very privacy orientated and never would have given his password to anything. I'm just an open person like that so for my fiance and I it works, others it doesn't.

[FairyGodmother]

@ volvic1

 

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol I swear I wasn't trying to log onto his facebook, he left it logged in on my computer, and I went to log into my own but the page said something like " You have been logged out. Your password was changed at 4:57 pm. Not you? Click here if you've been phished" or something like that. So then I was just like ... wut ?_? WHYYYYYYYYYYY. I don't know it was just weird that he changed it right after coming back from a long trip with me, especially when we're in a long distance relationship Not really sure what that means...

[regular joe]

Hey Guys

 

Just out of curiosity, I was wondering how many people actually share the password to their facebook (or any other personal profile for that matter) with their significant other. Do you think it's a sign of good trust in the relationship if you do so (and inversely a lack thereof if you don't)? And what do you do if the other person doesn't want to share their password with you? Would you be offended/suspicious, or would you accept it as one of those things where they just need some private space for themselves?

 

Thanks so much for your input!

 

 

My ex had every single password to all my accounts (bank/CC) and not just FB/ MySpace, etc. I told her she was more than welcome to look at any of them anytime she wanted. We were living together and at the time looked like we headed towards getting married. I never felt as if there was anything on any of the sites that I needed to hide and she was more than welcome to look. I never had any secret e mails/ charges/ etc. She on the other hand was a secret password type of person and even though I knew she had a former co-worker that had the hots for her and would send her secret messages and some posts that were way over the top. She did tell me about his e-mailings and I just asked her to handle it with him. I wouldn't have snooped, but I think it being out in the open is a good thing. I don't believe you should have any secrets from one another.

[OptomisticGirl]

I completely understand that everyone is entitled to their privacy, but personally I don't mind sharing my password with my boyfriend ;p There's nothing on there I would mind him seeing, so I don't really care if he goes on it... Which is why it makes me kind of hurt when my boyfriend doesn't want to share his password with me. Like, I know that sometimes people just want personal space, but I guess it's hard to accept that he's not as open with me as I am with him...

 

This is just something you are going to have to accept though. While you are open and willing to share passwords, that doesn't mean he will be and it doesn't mean he is wrong or being shady by not giving you his passwords - it's just not who he is. Try looking at it as a personality trait - it's not something you can change and it's part of who he is.

[Seraphim]

See I do not see having some privacy as being "secrets" but that is just me.

[OptomisticGirl]

See I do not see having some privacy as being "secrets" but that is just me.

 

I think it goes back to how we are individually though. For someone who want privacy it's not seen as keeping 'secrets'. For me although I don't mind my SO having the access to my account, I don't see it as 'not keeping secrets' either. It's just me being open the way I am but I can see how if your the type who doesn't mind that your SO have access to your stuff, how it can be seen as 'keeping secrets' if they don't do the same. You are wrong of course as we are all allowed to set our privacy lmits.

[FairyGodmother]

@Optomistic Girl

 

That quote right there is exactly how I feel! But I think you're right, it is part of his personality... it's just hard to accept I guess I just have to suck it up D:

[FairyGodmother]

And I guess I see it as secrets because he doesn't want me to see I just don't really understand the logic behind not wanting me to see it if there's nothing bad on there, because that's the reason I DON'T mind if he sees...

[Seraphim]

I think it goes back to how we are individually though. For someone who want privacy it's not seen as keeping 'secrets'. For me although I don't mind my SO having the access to my account, I don't see it as 'not keeping secrets' either. It's just me being open the way I am but I can see how if your the type who doesn't mind that your SO have access to your stuff, how it can be seen as 'keeping secrets' if they don't do the same. You are wrong of course as we are all allowed to set our privacy lmits.

 

Yeah, both my husband and I are the same and we do not see it as "keeping secrets", just that we are separate people and I do not think you can ever know every single living thing about a person. And really I think why would one want to?

[Seraphim]

And I guess I see it as secrets because he doesn't want me to see I just don't really understand the logic behind not wanting me to see it if there's nothing bad on there, because that's the reason I DON'T mind if he sees...

 

I guess because he values being a person in his own right too.

[OptomisticGirl]

Yeah, both my husband and I are the same and we do not see it as "keeping secrets", just that we are separate people and I do not think you can ever know every single living thing about a person. And really I think why would one want to?

 

I agree, you can't ever know every single thing about a person. I guess for us as a couple like I said, we see it as our way of saying 'we have no secrets, nothing to hide, here it is' and we don't log in except for certain circumstances.