sjjohnson89 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Or really brilliant women. Or really famous women. Or women who have built a great standing in a community. Or powerful business women. Or women who are phenomenal artists. Or everyday women who have a great air about them and quiet confidence in who they are. And come to think of it, does anyone really want their doors knocked down to start with? How about a mutually satisfying relationship that builds slowly over time? How about getting rid of the door knocking down thing, i dont think a guy who would do that would have all his screws in place lol. Going back to BriorRose, a man that loves you will 'knock down' your door, extremly atrractive woman will get men watching from the bushes not banging on the door. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted February 8, 2011 Author Share Posted February 8, 2011 How about getting rid of the door knocking down thing, i dont think a guy who would do that would have all his screws in place lol. Going back to BriorRose, a man that loves you will 'knock down' your door, extremly atrractive woman will get men watching from the bushes not banging on the door. But a man cannot fall in love unless he is sexually attracted to you, and this is easier to attain if you are good-looking. I know it's possible, many women like myself (3's or 4's) have bf's, it's just a lot harder, that's all. Link to comment
sjjohnson89 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 But a man cannot fall in love unless he is sexually attracted to you, and this is easier to attain if you are good-looking. I know it's possible, many women like myself (3's or 4's) have bf's, it's just a lot harder, that's all. You do realise you are talking to a 22 year old guy here dont you, im telling you not every guy thinks purely with his...um....manhood. I dont judge woman by looks, sure i notice them but i wont want to be with them just because they are beautiful, i want to have a relationship, a connection, what does that have to do with looks? Im not unattractive myself, you cant say im saying this because im unattractive. I think you and me could argue about anything couldnt we lol. First the definition about art, now what men want in women. Link to comment
Spacecapsule Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 From a male perspective, I use to think it was all about looks as well. Then I kept seeing guys that were not as good looking as me with really attractive girlfriends. It took me 7 years to figure it out, but it is all about the confidence. That guy could do something I could not do (and maybe still can not do) and this might come as a shock but ... he could actually talk to the woman he was attracted to. I just stayed in the shadows hoping she would come to me (never going to happen). Link to comment
bulletproof Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I have never known a man to want to be with a woman because she was smart or powerful. I think if you ask men what they want, physical attraction will come before intelligence ( I have had most of my bf's tell me I was bright - who knows where they are now). Depends on what kind of men you are talking about and what kind of environment you put yourself in. I lived in nyc for a long time and smart and powerful women did pretty well in dating. I now live in a town and socialize with people who think artistic achievement is important. The least [physically] attractive woman I ever knew had a great bf 20 years her junior, mainly because she ran a successful restaurant in town and was involved and led all sorts of groups. I realize you are not deliberately being argumentative but you definitely have a narrow focus. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted February 8, 2011 Author Share Posted February 8, 2011 From a male perspective, I use to think it was all about looks as well. Then I kept seeing guys that were not as good looking as me with really attractive girlfriends. It took me 7 years to figure it out, but it is all about the confidence. That guy could do something I could not do (and maybe still can not do) and this might come as a shock but ... he could actually talk to the woman he was attracted to. I just stayed in the shadows hoping she would come to me (never going to happen). But if the woman was not so attractive and approached the man with confidence, I wonder how that would turn out? Link to comment
BriarRose Posted February 8, 2011 Author Share Posted February 8, 2011 Depends on what kind of men you are talking about and what kind of environment you put yourself in. I lived in nyc for a long time and smart and powerful women did pretty well in dating. I now live in a town and socialize with people who think artistic achievement is important. The least [physically] attractive woman I ever knew had a great bf 20 years her junior, mainly because she ran a successful restaurant in town and was involved and led all sorts of groups. I realize you are not deliberately being argumentative but you definitely have a narrow focus. Bulletproof, that is a very good point - I do live in a place that is notorious for exceptionally beautiful people, which doesn't help my world view when I feel invisible. I think if I lived somewhere where people were more focused on things that I am focused on (nature and the outdoors, for example), perhaps I would be more attractive to those people. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Perhaps there are some people in your town who are into nature and the outdoors, and you just don't happen to be aware of them? Sometimes sub-communities are harder to find. Link to comment
sjjohnson89 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 But if the woman was not so attractive and approached the man with confidence, I wonder how that would turn out? Depends on how steriotypical the situation we are talking here. Link to comment
Spacecapsule Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 But if the woman was not so attractive and approached the man with confidence, I wonder how that would turn out? Unfortunately, it would not turn out so well for the woman. Even if the guy had some feelings for her, he could not profess them then take flake from his peer group. We tend to say it is all about personality, but it really is not. That is one of the cruel double standards of dating. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Unfortunately, it would not turn out so well for the woman. Even if the guy had some feelings for her, he could not profess them then take flake from his peer group. We tend to say it is all about personality, but it really is not. That is one of the cruel double standards of dating. Is it true that at 25 years of age you still exist in a world where there is flack from a peer group over how your date looks? Seriously? That seems kind of high school. Link to comment
Longblackhair Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yes, some grown adult men only want to be seen with women that their friends would approve of Link to comment
Longblackhair Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 And this is from men who are ugly themselves. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yes, some grown adult men only want to be seen with women that their friends would approve of I guess I've been smart enough to avoid those types of people then. If those are the ones that you surround yourself with, it's not a surprise that you're having trouble dating. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 It was very freeing when I stopped caring about what other people thought of my date's looks - I think I did care even into my mid-20s, somewhat, but not nearly as much as when I was a teenager. On the flip side- my son called out "dada!" to a stranger on the jogging path-the man, middle aged/balding- looked at my son and said "I bet his daddy is tall, blonde and in his 20s" I smiled back and said "nope, not even close" ;-) Link to comment
BriarRose Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 I watched the difference in how men took notice of me and how the men in my life started treating me differently since my health issues have taken a toll on my appearance. It is subtle, it's not like I gained 50 pounds or grew body hair, but I look pale and am showing my age more and my hair is no longer long and sexy. Since the only thing different about me now is my appearance, I can only surmise that is the reason. And it hurts, because there really isn't anything I can do about how I look. I take care of myself and wear a little makeup, but that's all I can do. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 If you're concerned about your hair, have you thought about getting hair extensions for the time being? Secondly, as far as make up goes, why not add some blush or bronzer to look more alive? Link to comment
BriarRose Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 If you're concerned about your hair, have you thought about getting hair extensions for the time being? Secondly, as far as make up goes, why not add some blush or bronzer to look more alive? I can't afford extensions, they are very expensive. I wore a wig for awhile, but it's long enough now I don't need the wig. Actually, I think it's still probably too short for extentions, anyways. I've been trying different kinds of make-up - haven't really nailed it yet. I need a weekend on a sunny beach...... Link to comment
sjjohnson89 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I can't afford extensions, they are very expensive. I wore a wig for awhile, but it's long enough now I don't need the wig. Actually, I think it's still probably too short for extentions, anyways. I've been trying different kinds of make-up - haven't really nailed it yet. I need a weekend on a sunny beach...... You need a guy to see you for who you are, not your exterior. Any guy that judges you based on how you look isnt worth wasting time on. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 You need a guy to see you for who you are, not your exterior. Any guy that judges you based on how you look isnt worth wasting time on. But all men want a pretty girl, don't they? Just look at these threads....this hot girl...this attractive girl....this beautiful girl..... Link to comment
bostonbruins44 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 You need a guy to see you for who you are, not your exterior. Any guy that judges you based on how you look isnt worth wasting time on. I don't think it is ''shallow'' to desire to be physically attracted to any potential partner.I would guess most guys are looking for both interior and exterior attractive qualities in a woman . Link to comment
BriarRose Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 I don't think it is ''shallow'' to desire to be physically attracted to any potential partner.I would guess most guys are looking for both interior and exterior attractive qualities in a woman . Yes, and they need to desire the outside first, or they won't be interested in getting to know the inside, unfortunately. Link to comment
Solo Pilot Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 You need a guy to see you for who you are, not your exterior. Any guy that judges you based on how you look isnt worth wasting time on. Bingo. Words you've heard and read here at ena hundreds of times. The question is do you believe, truly believe in this idea or is it just some bull? I've read your other post. Your a thoughtful good-hearted person. I guess I missed the post, so I am not exactly sure what is wrong with your looks. Unless you look like Quasimodo's sister, I am sure you will find your man someday. It's too bad you don't have a picture online so we could all tell you how pretty you really are. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 Bingo. Words you've heard and read here at ena hundreds of times. The question is do you believe, truly believe in this idea or is it just some bull? I've read your other post. Your a thoughtful good-hearted person. I guess I missed the post, so I am not exactly sure what is wrong with your looks. Unless you look like Quasimodo's sister, I am sure you will find your man someday. It's too bad you don't have a picture online so we could all tell you how pretty you really are. No, I wouldn't say I am ugly, just maybe a 3 or 4. Was maybe a 5/6 before I got sick. Thank you for saying those nice things about me, it does help. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Moderator Note: Please stay on topic, and avoid personal attacks. Link to comment
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