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Everything posted by sjjohnson89

  1. You can be certain that having sex with someone you connect with and care for will be a a lot less empty than having sex with just someone. Sex without intimacy is empty its that simple, but, the sad fact is that some people dont develop emotionally to the point where this affects them. I understand that you are frustrated, you feel at your age and as a man things should be different and not like how they are, i get that. Just make sure you think hard before you commit to having sex with someone you dont have deep feelings for, you WILL remember your first time forever, do you want to remember
  2. Yea, i didnt think you would want that, you sound a little, well, not at that stage yet lol. Thats not an insult, im not yet either. But, your views arent healthy because they are cynical and this will only get worse as you get older, probably turn into depression or some kind of issue that affects your life outside of relationships. It is not the truth, if you keep this mind set getting into a relationship will get harder and harder and harder, to top that, if you can get into one maintaing a healthy relationship will get harder (as you get older). You definitely need to work on some posi
  3. People as in me? lol. Im not getting anything confused here, there are different kinds of love but ultimately its about a life long connection. Yes, i would never say i love say my parents the same way as 'being in love' as in with a woman. It obviously is different lol, but, its all still about connection as i just said and most people confuse love with lust or simply liking somebody much of the time, some people never grow past that. When we say to someone we are in love with them, that is in the romantic sense which is why it doesnt fit with the concept of love within family. And yes, i can
  4. You know, ignorance combined with some peoples 'im right even though i clearly know nothing' gets to me sometimes. The way you say things, its like, they are facts yet you talk on matters to which there are no real facts. What makes your opinion 'right'? Jonny, love and lust arent the same thing, the fact that you are interlinking the two only goes to prove my point. Ive been subject to confusing lust with the potential for love in the past yes, but, this was when i was emotionally immature and underdeveloped. Some people dont ever mature in this area, some people do so some never grow out of
  5. To you, its not required, to another person it might be. Something you might need to consider is that what is your belief is not necessarily anothers, with something like this there are no facts rather perception and viewpoints, values. Some people do need love to have sex, i am one of them, so yes, it is a 'requirement' for me.
  6. We are all 'hardwired' to have sex, to feel the need for it yes. But, like most things in life, a lot of people dont take into account that everyone is different and sees things differently, values different things. Sex is just an act for some, for others its a symbol of something deeper and more meaningful (being in love) and so on. There is nothing wrong with being highly sexually active with little commitment, there is nothing wrong with waiting to lose your virginity with someone special to you, as i said a couple of pages ago, there is no ONE way to live. On a side note, if someone is los
  7. I dont think anyone wants to die a virgin, that said, some people see and value sex differently. Some people hold out for religious reasons, some people hold out because they want their first time to be with someone special to them.....etc. There are lots of reasons why someone wouldnt just go out and have sex, some through choice, some not. Personally, im still a virgin and im glad, as im currently in a LD relationship with someone who is special to me and i believe my virginity will be lost to her. But, if it werent for an accumulation of issues/shyness and ok, some values, i would have had
  8. I understand this, i know how that feels. Letting someone get close to you to only hurt me later. I have no trust in people so i am always guarded around them. Someone truly has to earn my trust so to speak for me to even begin to open up. This is trouble within relationships, intimacy is hard to obtain with me because of this lack of trust. So, basically what im saying is i understand what you are saying. Just dont go judging all women, you havent met every women so you cant judge.
  9. Its not an excuse, at some point you have to see that if every woman in the world is heartless to you then perhaps what you see is just a reflection of yourself. I not saying your heartless, im saying perhaps the problem stands with you over these 200 women. Sure, i bet a large portion of that 200 were heartless, but i also bet that many were not. It would seem you havent met the right woman yet sure, but that doesnt make the previous women heartless. I think a lot of women can be superficially driven, and a lot of men can be be also, each in their own way. Dont confuse superficial with emotio
  10. If its all women you've come accross, then its your perception. You are perceiving these women to be heartless, some are likely heartless, while others may have made mistakes you label as heartless. I don't like to say stuff like this as its something i don't want to hear myself, but, unless you change the source of these women being heartless, which in some cases is likely your perception, then you wont find a woman.
  11. If you knew me you would know i know a lot about fears of rejection and intimacy. Ive come to realize that the issues ive had in life are more down to me, me being different, my own issues than other people. AT the end of the day, if you are being rejected by 200 women, if they are all heartless, then youve got to ether look at the type you are going after as the problem, or you have to look inwards, its likely you have issues. Im not attacking you, i have issues so all im doing is pointing out a possibility. I am emotionally driven, im not gay and im male, im not heartless. So saying women
  12. Thats very cynical. I bet you are basing that on a few experiences you've had, which i can understand, but you cant categorize those experiences as down to women being heartless. A lot of people in general can be heartless, both men and women.
  13. Im not 35 so i cant speak as if i am. Buy im 22 and a virgin, and it doesnt really bother me if a future girlfriend is a virgin or not. In some ways i would like her to be a virgin. But it really doesnt matter. Anybody who judged based on how much sexual experience someone has is not worth your time.
  14. I would like a future girlfriend to be a virgin in one sense, but then it really doesnt matter at all. How much sexual experience she has doesnt bother me.
  15. Personally i havent got a problem with being a virgin, what i do have a problem with is that i fear i will never meet the right girl and end up a virgin all my life.
  16. It depends on who you are, what are your values, what do you satnd for. For me, sex is a big deal, i dont think of it too much (im still a guy) in terms of just a physical act, rather an expression of love. The way i see it my first only happens once, why blow it on somebody i dont really care for.
  17. If thats what feels right to you then do it. Dont go saying its better to sleep around than to be waiting for the right person, thats very subjective, all you can do is decide whats best for you.
  18. I know the pressures of sex on woman, i think when we include sex and everything related to it the pressure is split 50-50. Its just the actual 'act' that i think is 60-40 pressure on men, im thinking here of longevity in more ways than one, fitness, strength etc. But in answer to your question yes sex is equal in pressure on both sexes overall. Im not sexist in any way, believe me.
  19. Ok, you win. The pressure of sex is equal, but different. Happy now Cognitive_Canine, ill say it again you win.
  20. I think men have more actual physical pressure on them, woman maybe have more emotional pressure on average.
  21. I admire your stubborn pride, i like you Cognitive_Canine. I disagree though lol. For me i think its 60-40% on the male, i think our pressures ar ejust that bit heavier. I think some of the issues woman have are only a problom in the eyes of other woman, if youre counting those fine, its 50-50.
  22. steriotypically sex means more to woman than men, thats pretty much a fact. Woman see sex as an expression of love, men see it as the best activity in life. This isnt true all the time, i think of it like the steriotypical woman does and many woman like the man does. We are going outsied of the sex argument here, you cant argue can you that to have good sex more weight is on the man in terms of pressure.
  23. How about the men which are emotional, yet are men all the same. Im one of those guys, if i have sex i want it to be with someone i care about deeply, im not after one night stands. I understand what you are saying from thewomans side, but when its all added up how good sex is depneds more on the man than the woman.
  24. If a girl wants sex in a relationship often, shes good at sex. The mens magazines sex tips (not that i read them often) are based around how to get her in the mood, how to please her. How much weight you lot put on is irrelevant so long as its not unhealthy weight, you woman care more about keeping thin than men want you to. If a man cheats, it can sometimes be because the woman is never in the mood, the man has to eat somewhere. Theres no excuse for cheating, but i think this is a common reason why it happnes. Men obsess over their own 'equipment', not many men actually really care that much
  25. But you cant say more pressure than is on men? It kind of starts and ends with the male, if its bad sex then its more likely because of the man. Even if the woman is in the controlling sexual position, if the goes early its over.
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