Grrrr..."pedophile"

[Cognitive_Canine]

See it as you want, bitter, judgmental, whatever, but if she's on the breakup forum in six months, then you can't really say much then. Not that I'm wishing that would happen to her. Just saying, the odds of that happening, are far greater in relationships involving huge age gaps, then that of the same age groups.

 

I apologize if it came off as insulting, but sometimes the truth hurts. As I said in my first post, I don't agree that people should come out with the name calling, it's pointless, but there is a reason your friends are saying it. Regardless of how it comes accross.

 

Wow, you're just not holding back at all are you?

[Cognitive_Canine]

Well you asked me for my opinion didn't you??? I gave it to you and now your throwing it back in my face? and you called me childish......if you don't wanna hear something, don't ask for it.

 

If you're going to have offensive and judgmental positions, expect a lot of backlash. It comes with the territory.

[OptomisticGirl]

See it as you want, bitter, judgmental, whatever, but if she's on the breakup forum in six months, then you can't really say much then. Not that I'm wishing that would happen to her. Just saying, the odds of that happening, are far greater in relationships involving huge age gaps, then that of the same age groups.

 

I apologize if it came off as insulting, but sometimes the truth hurts. As I said in my first post, I don't agree that people should come out with the name calling, it's pointless, but there is a reason your friends are saying it. Regardless of how it comes accross.

 

Considering they have been together for a year or years, I doubt it. The reason people in age gap relationship fail is because the younger one tends to not have a high emotional maturity level. Fudgie is one of THE most mature people I know.

 

The truth? lol, wow. I wonder what happened to you long ago to make you so holy than thou and bitter. I mean really. Anyone who deems what they say 'the truth', in my book, is not even worth it. Yeah, the reason is people are close minded and think they have the rule book of how relationships should be.

[Fudgie]

See it as you want, bitter, judgmental, whatever, but if she's on the breakup forum in six months, then you can't really say much then. Not that I'm wishing that would happen to her. Just saying, the odds of that happening, are far greater in relationships involving huge age gaps, then that of the same age groups.

 

I apologize if it came off as insulting, but sometimes the truth hurts. As I said in my first post, I don't agree that people should come out with the name calling, it's pointless, but there is a reason your friends are saying it. Regardless of how it comes accross.

 

So if I'm on the break up forums in 6 months, that means it wasn't "real"?

 

December = 2 year anniversary. Break up forum here I come.

 

I didn't ask for your opinion on my relationship or outcome. I didn't ask anyone. I'm aware of the risks.

[simply]

Um, I don't ever recall Fudgie saying her mother 'doesn't want her ot be in this scenario'...

 

Fudgie "She dated older when she was my age and her parents throw a fit and she swore it would be different with her children."

[Cognitive_Canine]

Fudgie "She dated older when she was my age and her parents throw a fit and she swore it would be different with her children."

 

She swore her reaction would be better.

[OptomisticGirl]

Well you asked me for my opinion didn't you??? I gave it to you and now your throwing it back in my face? and you called me childish......if you don't wanna hear something, don't ask for it.

 

No, I'm calling you out. You stated "I never directly said your relationship wasn't real, I compared it to, what society deemed as "real" which I also said I didn't entirely agree with." But you CLEARLY do agree with society if you say "I don't think it's real." I mean lets not straddle the fence here. Either you agree with society or you don't.

[OptomisticGirl]

Fudgie "She dated older when she was my age and her parents throw a fit and she swore it would be different with her children."

 

Means she swoer SHE wouldn't act the way her parents did.

[Fudgie]

Yes my mom was offended her parents acted that way. Said that her children would be able to date who they wanted provided it was legal, safe, and they were happy.

 

She has told me this since I was a child. I'm sure after the initial shock, she will be fine. Dad feels the same.

[simply]

Considering they have been together for a year or years, I doubt it. The reason people in age gap relationship fail is because the younger one tends to not have a high emotional maturity level. Fudgie is one of THE most mature people I know.

 

The truth? lol, wow. I wonder what happened to you long ago to make you so holy than thou and bitter. I mean really. Anyone who deems what they say 'the truth', in my book, is not even worth it. Yeah, the reason is people are close minded and think they have the rule book of how relationships should be.

 

 

hahah...you guys take this sooo personally, it IS the truth, and I'm not claiming to know all, or to be holier than thou...I call it as I see it.

 

And as I stated before, I'm sure Fudgie is smart, mature and capable of making wise choices, but what differs her from EVERY other 21 year old female alive? She's a 21 year old human being, in ten years, she will be so much stronger emotionally, she will have much more experience, therefore have different outlooks and different feelings towards a lot of things. So with that being said, and I'm sure we can all agree that will happen as it does with everyone else, we grow as time goes on due to our experiences, some faster than others depending on the circumstances.

Imagine that kind of change in 10 years, she'll be 31, compare that to somebody who is 58! you can't put yourself or her on that level. You're nowhere even close to that. Whether you wanna believe that or not. And IF you are, then take into consideration the possibility that YOU will grow far beyond your boyfriends emotional/intellectual capabilities. And YOU may not want this anymore.

 

These are all just possibilities to think about. OR...you could live happily ever after, and be apart of a small percentage of people who seldom make it in these circumstances, which, if it is what you want, then I hope it happens.

[OptomisticGirl]

Please tell me where this rule book is about what makes a relationship real because I haven't read this book yet and yet you clearly have.

[Cognitive_Canine]

This is the TRUTH

I'm not claiming to know all.

 

You've contradicted yourself a few times here. And once again, no one has asked for your opinion on Fudgies relationship. Fudgie is the one IN this relationship and she's probably thought about the issues longer and harder than any of us have. Thanks but no thanks.

[simply]

No, I'm calling you out. You stated "I never directly said your relationship wasn't real, I compared it to, what society deemed as "real" which I also said I didn't entirely agree with." But you CLEARLY do agree with society if you say "I don't think it's real." I mean lets not straddle the fence here. Either you agree with society or you don't.

 

You can't just wrap something like that up into a "yes" or "no", parts of what society deems normal I agree with, other parts of it I don't. The reason I didn't wanna get into the specifics was because it would stray from the original topic.

[Fudgie]

Oh no way, I have much to learn from him, as he has to learn from me.

 

He's very wise and I'll be learning for a long time, I'm sure. He's very stable. He has it more together than anyone I know. I really do admire him.

 

I never claimed to be on his level totally. That's crazy. Rather, we complement each other.

 

Still waiting on that "huge change" in my 20s. Haven't changed a lick since I started high school and now I'm in college with the major and minor I always wanted to do. Not saying things won't change but they change at a slow rate for me. That's just me.

 

Thanks for reminding me (althought I didn't ask) that statisically, I'm doomed to fail. Good to know. Can you leave my thread now? Thanks. No offense "your words"

[OptomisticGirl]

You can't just wrap something like that up into a "yes" or "no", parts of what society deems normal I agree with, other parts of it I don't. The reason I didn't wanna get into the specifics was because it would stray from the original topic.

 

Actually, it is that simple. And I'm more than sure you have brought this thread WAY of course. .

[simply]

This is the TRUTH

I'm not claiming to know all.

 

You've contradicted yourself a few times here. And once again, no one has asked for your opinion on Fudgies relationship. Fudgie is the one IN this relationship and she's probably thought about the issues longer and harder than any of us have. Thanks but no thanks.

 

It's called experience, and those "it is the truth" and "I don't claim to know all" were two different points in the same sentence. "It is the truth" referring to the fact that most relationships with age gaps don't work out(along with a couple of other opinions) and " I don't claim to know all" speaks for itself, I've said many times that this was just my opinion...so nice try.....but..."no thanks"

[Fudgie]

You can't just wrap something like that up into a "yes" or "no", parts of what society deems normal I agree with, other parts of it I don't. The reason I didn't wanna get into the specifics was because it would stray from the original topic.

 

We were on topic back on page 2.

 

Now that you're done calling things "not real" I want us to get back to the original post.

[Cognitive_Canine]

It's called experience, and those "it is the truth" and "I don't claim to know all" were two different points in the same sentence. "It is the truth" referring to the fact that most relationships with age gaps don't work out(along with a couple of other opinions) and " I don't claim to know all" speaks for itself, I've said many times that this was just my opinion...so nice try.....but..."no thanks"

 

You're 25...not much older. And Fudgie has been with her boyfriend for 2 years...probably more experience in that aspect as well.

 

And you did not specify that "the truth" was about relationship failure rates. That came up later in the thread. You were talking generally about what you have stated.

[greywolf]

Thread has run its course.