thekid55 Posted September 16, 2012 Author Share Posted September 16, 2012 Hi all. I didn't forget about the journal. I plan on proposing in two weeks. Please remember that it took a lot of hardwork, dedication, and hardwork to get to this point. Don't give up... Link to comment
ToF Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Good luck, kid!! How are you planning on proposing? Link to comment
Realitynut Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Ok....we're all waiting with baited breath on the update of your proposal!!!! Marriage coming this coming year??? Don't forget us here. And both of you have a Merry Christmas and a very, very Happy New Year!!! Link to comment
thekid55 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Share Posted December 16, 2012 Hi everyone. I didn't forget this place! I proposed two months ago and she said yes! We took a weekend trip to our university and went for a special dinner. We have a lot of memories at the restaurant, so it was a no brainer to take her there. My plan was to propose in the gazebo outside of the restaurant before dinner, but unfortunately, a couple was standing in there! It was a nervous, awkward dinner for me. I had the ring in my pocket and I wanted to give it to her. At one point, I went outside to the gazebo and told the couple to leave because I was going to propose! (Haha) After dinner, we went back out the gazebo and I proposed. At first, I don't think she had any idea what was going on, but when I pulled the ring out, she started crying and said yes. In fact, she forgot what I said before I gave her the ring so I repeated it. Haha. She thought I would propose during the holiday season, but the September proposal was a special surprise! We spent the rest of the weekend talking to family, seeing friends, and enjoying each other's company. My phone was constantly ringing, so I felt pretty blessed that so many people were happy for us. We are planning to get married in July 2014, so wedding planning is currently underway! To those who have read parts of this journal--I offer one tip---don't give up. Don't lose yourself and keep moving forward. As you can see, I had some pretty terrible moments, but I never gave up. I made myself into a better person, started dating new people, and she recognized what she lost. We both dated other people, but the bond we had couldn't be replaced. Our relationship is stronger than ever and I can't wait to spend my life with her. However, none of this would have happened if I wallowed in my misery. Link to comment
C_Unknown2005 Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Glad to see you have a nice new beginning Kid. Wish you the best, keep us updated man! C Link to comment
thekid55 Posted September 12, 2013 Author Share Posted September 12, 2013 Hi. Stopping by for a quick update. To those that have followed my journey, everything is going well. I'm healthy, she's healthy, our wedding plans are in full swing. I never forget how upset/sad/scared I felt. I have 50-60 pages worth of gloom in here. If I'm having a rough day, this journal reminds me that I can get through anything (and so can you!) Link to comment
C_Unknown2005 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Good Stuff Man. Hope your doing well. C Link to comment
Realitynut Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Congrats on your wedding plans! Are you getting married this fall? or this spring? so happy for you...see...it does happen! Link to comment
SA2000 Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 What's up Kid? Are you hitched yet? I'll probably head down that road soon. Hope all is well. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted December 19, 2013 Author Share Posted December 19, 2013 Hey all. Popping in for a quick update. SA, Not getting married until July, so we're still in the planning process. This update is squarely about me individually. I'm living and working in New York City and to be honest, I don't like most parts of it. I grew in a very rural, suburban environment where most people knew each other and were nice to each other. After living in NYC for about two years, I find that most people are very standoffish and arrogant to a degree. Most people that work in service industries don't want to lift an extra finger to help. For example, we live in an apartment and our building 'Super' is probably the laziest guy I've ever met in my life and nothing 'is his responsibility'. Same thing with our landlord. No help whatsoever and they don't really give a damn. I find most New Yorkers to be excellent at deferring any task so they aren't responsible. This type of behavior is just very, very foreign to me and I'm learning to adapt to it for now. I'm learning not to expect things from others, which is just crappy. I don't know if this is a New York only thing or if this is becoming a microcosm of American society. Either way, I don't like it. Both my fiancée and I work in NYC and are really excelling with our career. We're both in our early-to-mid 20s, so we need to grind away for a few more years before we can consider a move. Our families live in the Tri-State area so it would be tough to pick up and move down South or out West. I'll stick it out in the big city for a few more years, but then I think I'm leaving. Where am I going? I don't know yet, but I don't intend to raise a family here. (My fiancée is on-board with this). Side Note: On Page 63, I refer to last girl I dated before I got back together with my ex as 'E'. I periodically check her social media accounts from time to time purely out of interest. She was a great girl and she seems very happy. She's dating someone new, so I hope it works out for her. Obviously I don't have any interest in her as a girlfriend anymore, but it goes to show that we still think about past lovers from time to time. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 Just popping in for a quick update. Hope everyone's holiday season went well. With the wedding only a few months away, I'm really kicking myself into high gear. I'm getting in ridiculously good shape. I'm eating right, exercising every day, and just being dominant with everything life throws my way. Over the last few months, I've really neglected working out and exercising. I haven't gained a ton of weight, but I don't feel as good as I used to. I'm shooting to get back into the physical shape I was in when I first started this journal. I was a beast back then and I know I can do it again. Every day is one day closer to the big day. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Congrats Kid! Thanks for keeping us posted! Link to comment
zyketti Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 I read through the entire journal - it was like a therapy to me. So thank you thekidd55!! I've started my own journal after reading yours, and I hope to gain as much self-relfection and improvement as you did. Just FYI, my situation is very similar to yours (I mean the breakup and the situations regarding the break-up), and I just hope to grow as a whole person again. Thanks again, and congratulations on your marriage/wedding! OH P.S. Has your fiancé ever read through this journal? Link to comment
thekid55 Posted June 4, 2014 Author Share Posted June 4, 2014 I read through the entire journal - it was like a therapy to me. So thank you thekidd55!! I've started my own journal after reading yours, and I hope to gain as much self-relfection and improvement as you did. Just FYI, my situation is very similar to yours (I mean the breakup and the situations regarding the break-up), and I just hope to grow as a whole person again. Thanks again, and congratulations on your marriage/wedding! OH P.S. Has your fiancé ever read through this journal?[/QUOTE] She hasn't. I haven't told her about it nor ever plan to. This was a place for me to come and dump out my hurt feelings as I worked on moving on. There are some hurtful things written in here, but those things were written when I wasn't in the right mindset. I'm glad you were able to take something away from this journal. I can promise anyone reading this post that things do get better in time! 'Time heals all wounds' is such an over used term, but it's so true. Life is what you make of it and if you commit yourself to becoming a better person, you'll feel better in time. Once you feel good, everything else falls into line. One other thing This was written from a male perspective. I don't know how much this journal would apply to women, but what I can promise is time heal all wounds -thekid Link to comment
thekid55 Posted July 15, 2014 Author Share Posted July 15, 2014 Wedding is fast approaching. Getting last minute things ready to go. Thanks to ENA for being so supportive. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Congrats...a well deserved happy ending...or rather, happy beginning. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Congrats Kid....truly one of the few happy endings! Thanks for coming back and keeping us posted! Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 All the very best to you both Kid. Thank you. Link to comment
3Tears Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Very inspirational, my story is a lot similar to yours, I'm still going through the break up 5 months in already... but I can't say that I've been NC for long (only 3 days so far) but this time after reading this entire thread I realized that if I even want a chance in trying things out again with my ex I have to truly let go of it and she has to too. Just gotta focus on me and start living life and go out and have fun and be very serious about NC. Thanks again and keep us updated! I would love to keep knowing how your story goes! Link to comment
thekid55 Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Very inspirational, my story is a lot similar to yours, I'm still going through the break up 5 months in already... but I can't say that I've been NC for long (only 3 days so far) but this time after reading this entire thread I realized that if I even want a chance in trying things out again with my ex I have to truly let go of it and she has to too. Just gotta focus on me and start living life and go out and have fun and be very serious about NC. Thanks again and keep us updated! I would love to keep knowing how your story goes! This is very mature. Great perspective. Remember, focus on yourself. You cannot control others. The minutes go very slowly during the first few days of NC, but minutes turn into days, days into weeks, and weeks into months. After some time, you won't remember to count the day since you're mind will be occupied with other things. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Dropping by for an update. The wedding was about two weeks ago and needless to say, it was an amazing day. Perfect weather, all of our guests showed up, and my bride was absolutely stunning. Our bridal party had an amazing time and our phone was ringing non-stop for days with people telling us how much fun they had. It was amazing. On the wedding day, everyone was very emotional, but like I've learned through ENA, I was the source of strength for everyone. No tears from me, but I was smiling ear-to-ear all day. My face was pretty sore from smiling. A few days after the wedding, we went away for our honeymoon. We spent a lot of time on the beach, but also spent time talking about the wedding and how our relationship has evolved. Individually, we've both come a long way. I work on my obsessive behavior and for the most part, I've tamed it. I'm not perfect and slip up from time-to-time, but she calls me out when I get out of hand. She has a lot of daddy issues and I realize when I need to step-up and provide more support instead of asking questions about her feelings. She just wants me to listen and I'm going to be the best listener that I can be! Together, we've grown into a very happy, mature couple that is ready to continue enjoying life together. We still fight and argue from time to time, but I love her unconditionally and I know she feels the same way about me. Some people debate whether a great relationship 'takes work'. I'm in the camp that believes relationships do take 'work'. When I refer to 'work', I think it comes from an individual perspective. I've learned to pick my battles and let trivial things go. It's hard as heck to bite my tongue sometimes, but I do it for the betterment of the relationship when I realize that those things will just hurt or put more strain on us. We've always been a great team, but when I opened the letter from the town clerk's office and saw our marriage certificate, I realized that we were 'officially' a team. To anyone that doesn't want to read 65 pages of journal, I can offer you a tip. If you're going through a tough time, find your strength and support. My strength and support came by way of my family, friends, sports, and the ENA community. Relying on those facets made me a better man. ENA is a great place to vent and let go of angry, hurt, and sad feelings. I will feel forever indebted to this site. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Thanks Kid for the Update! I wish for you many years of wedded bliss...with a few struggles along the way to be managed easily!! Are babies next???? lol Link to comment
Happy Le Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Congratulations!! I find comfort and inspiration from reading your journal. Lol it took me about 2 days to read the whole thing from beginning to end. I wish you and your family many many many years of happiness. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Congratulations to you both Kid! Link to comment
thekid55 Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 Hi all. Popping in for another update. Just need a place to vent and type my feelings. After about 30 years of marriage, my parents have decided to get a divorce. Things haven't been good for the last five years or so, so it's not a huge shock. Just stinks to hear that your folks are officially splitting up. It's pretty much coming from my Dad. My Mom isn't happy about his decision, but she's been in denial about things for a long time. I'm not really sure how to feel about the situation, so I've been pretty emotionless. Not the best update, but I needed to get this off my chest. Link to comment
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