thekid55 Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 Hey everyone. Just popping in. Things are great at work. I love my new job and first taste of the real world. The corporate grind has always been for me and I'm eating it up. As for my relationship, things are better than ever. Our connection, physical and mental, is way better than its ever been. Her and I just planned a trip after Christmas that we are both excited about. We are both working a ton and text all day long how much we miss each other, love each other, etc. I'm not losing site of myself, but this relationship honestly is unlike I've ever been in before. It blows our old relationship out of the water. We spend at least a day together every week. (We are a few hours apart right now and sometimes the weekends). I'm 100% in love with her and she's completely in love with me. It's a different type of love though this time though. We both know what its like to be apart and we really appreciate it each other. Hope everyone else out there is doing well. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Great to hear man, and glad you're going places. I have a feeling, whether this lasts or not, you'll be in one hell of a position to not even think twice about it. Good luck once again! Link to comment
C_Unknown2005 Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I want updates amigo... Link to comment
thekid55 Posted September 6, 2011 Author Share Posted September 6, 2011 Hi everyone. It's been awhile, so I apologize. I'm uber busy with my new job that I really don't much time to even sleep anymore! But I'm thankful just to have a lucrative job at a young age. Anyway, I'll kind of summarize this update into four parts...(1) my relationship (2) my home life (3) my personal improvements and (4) my goals for the future (1) My relationship Things have been awesome. We've been back together for four months now and it's honestly been way better than the first 2.5 years of our relationship. Our communication is great. We are 100% supportive of each other. She wants to marry me (premature, yes since she has another two years of school). She always talks about 'our life' together that includes dogs, houses, home cooked dinners every night (love those), and honestly, I want to come home to her every night. I will admit that I'm more guarded this time around and won't allow myself to get in too deep to the point where I lose myself. I think a lot of people lose themselves in their relationships and we are both adamant about not letting that happen. Do I love her with all my heart? I do. Do I see myself with her? I do. Do I trust her completely? I do. If you don't trust someone completely, there's no relationship. Really, read that again. If you don't trust someone completely, there's no relationship. We both had to get through a lot of hurt feelings initially to get where we are today. I had to either trust her or just not be with her. It's that simple. Without trust, you have nothing. We have a big vacation planned for the end of the year that we are looking forward to. So overall, we are doing well. During the week, we are two hours apart, but I'm working 12 hour days and she's working/going to school so the days fly by. We've spent every weekend together this summer and it's honestly been the best summer ever for me. (2) My home life I've grown up in a pretty sheltered home. I had to teach myself a lot about the "Real World". My parents have been married for almost 30 years, but their relationship is just rotting. There's no passion, love or anything anymore. My mom has a terminal illness and my Dad has done everything in his power to be the provider, caregiver, and source of her happiness. When I was growing up, I could tell that the passion was gone and my Mom has been the main culprit. To my knowledge, my Dad hasn't cheated on my Mom, but I suspect it. My Dad is honestly the nicest man in the world and has done everything for me, my sister, and Mom, but something is just not right. My Dad is really the only person I look up to and if something comes out about that, I will be absolutely crushed. (3) Personal Improvements: Just by reading this journal, you can tell that I've come a long way. I'm a 100x more confident now. I'm a better friend, lover, brother, son, employee, etc. I just try to be patient with everyone and always do my best at my job. With my relationships, I choose to 'pick my battles' now. Some fights just aren't worth it and we say things because we just want to. (4) Future Goals Just keep getting better day by day. Keep improving myself while remembering mistakes I made in the past. I was in a bad place about a year ago and I'm never going to back to that place again. I can't thank everyone at ENA enough for pulling me out the mud. Other Notes I never heard from the girl "E" who I dated for a few months. When my ex and I got back together, she was crushed, but never said anything to me. That's one strong woman right there and I did the right thing by not stringing her along. On our ride home from the beach on Sunday, my girlfriend and I had a long talk about the past. She started crying during the middle of the conversation and said one thing to me that just sticks in my mind... 'I had to forgive myself for letting you go before doing everything in my power to get you back.' She went on to say how it took her awhile to do that, her struggles,etc. Apparently, me saying 'no' to her when she came back was never an option for me in her book. Ha. If you are just looking at this thread for the first time, I can offer you one piece of advice. It gets better. Time does heal all wounds. Time is your best friend in this situation. As much as your heart tells you you are doing the right thing, listen to your noggin. Logic over emotions in times of despair. Feel free to PM me or leave a comment in here and I'll get back to ya. Link to comment
ToF Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Hey kid. I'm really happy to see the progress you've made. Honestly. I know there's no such thing as the "happily ever after" we all secretly hope for, but it looks like you're doing the best with what you have. In my book, that's an awesome achievement. My favorite part about your last post is the difference in your tone. What I mean is, in some of those posts you wrote toward the middle of all this, you sounded over-the-top cocky and downright arrogant. I hope you don't take offense to that, because a) I think it helped you get past some tough feelings and b) You sound like you've matured beyond that cockiness. You don't need it, and I hope you never have to go back to it again. Here's to your past, current, and future successes. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 Hi TOF. Good to hear from you again! And you are completely right about my arrogance/cockiness. I've always been a naturally confident person, but I was compensating for my hurt feelings by boosting my ego, which in retrospect, is a huge no-no. I thought getting with a lot of different girls, partying, and doing all of that jazz would help me. And it did to a certain extent. It was great for distracting me during the day and I truly enjoyed hanging out with the people I did these things with. However, when my head hit the pillow at night, I began to think about how unhappy I was with everything. Not unhappy because I didn't have her, but unhappy because I didn't have my crap together. Slowly, I began to break free my own self-induced emotional prison and when I finally escaped, I felt like a new man. Bottom line---Unless you address the issues at hand, you will spiral into a pit of unhappiness. You need to be happy alone before you can be happy with a partner. I'm taking things a day at a time and mainly concerning myself with the present. I can't help what will happen in the future, but know I will put myself in the best spots to succeed. I hope this post helps someone. Link to comment
ToF Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 You need to be happy alone before you can be happy with a partner. Woo! It's exciting to see someone actually learn this lesson. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Hey Kid, I'm REALLY happy for you! Link to comment
MarnDark Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 Just skimmed through the thread. Must said Kid, who the hell needs tv when it seems the best stories come from real life? That reconciliation post took me really by surprise as you were saying a few posts before that that you would never go back to her! Hm, but I understand that notion that even if you aren't you need to tell yourself that in order to keep going. It's inspiring how you've grown throughout this process. I am just starting the process but already feel like I've learned so much. I've never learned how to love myself, I was like you with my ex. I wore my heart directly on my sleeve and would be upset when she would hide her feelings. I always joked that I was more like the woman of the relationship and in the end it was true. I need this time to learn how to do otherwise. Be my own and not use a girlfriend as self-esteem. I'm doing my own thing now, meeting new people, hitting the gym. Honestly, I hope it's for a future "us" but if that's not to be then at least I haven't wasted my time. Slowly but surely, I'm learning. I'm really glad to hear how happy you are, I can really only imagine how that second chance must feel like. Keep us updated! Link to comment
C_Unknown2005 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Glad to see your doing well Man. Keep it up Link to comment
thekid55 Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 I think this journey should be the script for a movie. It has every dramatic element that you could want. Love, sex, cheating, lust, reconciliation, heartbreak, etc. Link to comment
C_Unknown2005 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 lol, it's owned by ena now so you probably wont get a single cent Link to comment
thekid55 Posted October 24, 2011 Author Share Posted October 24, 2011 Back with my monthly update--- Time for me to add more drama the script known as my life. For the past few months, I've watched my parents 30 year marriage spiral out of control. Things haven't been great for the past few years or so (My mother has a terminal illness that causes behavior issues). My Dad has always stood by her side and taken care of her and the rest of us, but she has always been so vicious to him. She will yell at him, call him names, etc. Through thick and thin, he stayed with her. From what I've gathered, their physical relationship has been nil for the last decade (!!!) and my Mom told him at one point to go get a girlfriend. Well, he did. And when he told her about it, she flipped out and hasn't been able to forgive him. When she got upset, he stopped seeing the girlfriend. She has no idea that I know about this, but it does bother me. I don't have any issue with my Dad telling me these things and I don't really pass judgment because it's not my relationship. Anyway, my Mom acts as if everything is fine and dandy when I know it's really not. She has refused to go to counselling and she does not work. We all have suggested to her that she works or volunteers to keep her mind busy. My father makes a very good living and she never has had to work. We want her to be active from purely a health standpoint. Overall, this has been a tough one to watch. My father is really my only hero. He has provided a great life for me, taught me a lot, and has always been there for me. Same for my Mom. My girlfriend has been great with this situation as she is from a divorced family. She is very loving, caring, and understanding. I feel extremely grateful for her. The point of this post? I find giving my Dad advice from things I learned on ENA. He is an extremely smart man and I do my best to objectively help. It's a tough situation, but I feel like my journey detailed in here has made me a stronger man. Other than that situation, things have been good. The girlfriend is good. (We are going away on vacation in two weeks). Work is extremely busy, but I'm loving it. Final Note: Wherever you are on your journey--don't give up. Things happen for a reason. Learn as much as you can today because you will need it tomorrow. -Thekid Link to comment
kuteknish Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 love the updates Kid! It's amazing how much we've learned on this journey for the future, isn't it? Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 I so feel for your father Kid. I was with somebody for 10 years who developed bipolar disorder and he would have phases or eratic and abusive behaviour. I would say it is likely that your father is feeling a grief amongst other things. For me, after time, it felt as though the person I loved so much had died. It was really like that and I don't think he ever came back. In his place, was this other person. As stupid as it sounds, it felt like aliens had abducted my partner and I spent 2 years believing that with medication, treatment or some miracle, the old person I knew was going to come back. Of course, eventually, I realised he was gone. YOur father sounds like a wonderful person. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted October 28, 2011 Author Share Posted October 28, 2011 I so feel for your father Kid. I was with somebody for 10 years who developed bipolar disorder and he would have phases or eratic and abusive behaviour. I would say it is likely that your father is feeling a grief amongst other things. For me, after time, it felt as though the person I loved so much had died. It was really like that and I don't think he ever came back. In his place, was this other person. As stupid as it sounds, it felt like aliens had abducted my partner and I spent 2 years believing that with medication, treatment or some miracle, the old person I knew was going to come back. Of course, eventually, I realised he was gone. YOur father sounds like a wonderful person. Bingo. I've heard that exact line before. I know that I can't do anything about it, so I try not to worry. The holidays are coming up and I know things are going to be run as usual. Family coming over, lots of laughs, etc. While things may seem to look great on the outside, it's really a mess on the inside. Going to Vegas for the first time ever next weekend. Take care. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 All the best to you and your family Kid. Hope you all have a good holiday. Link to comment
kuteknish Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 hey Kid.. what's new? Link to comment
thekid55 Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 Hi everyone. Just stopping by for a quick update. It's been a few months since I posted. Everything in my life has been very good. I'm excelling at my job, my relationship is going extremely well, and my family life is getting better. I mentioned this to italianmf, but the 'new' relationship with her is completely different than the old one. She'll do things for me now that she never did before. And vice versa. I've become more stable for her and have been her rock (She has dealt with a lot of personal battles in the last few months). To help take her mind off of these things, we've been traveling a lot and seeing new, warm places. We are from the Northeast US, so the weather has been crappy and cold. For the New Year, I've made a few resolutions. Since I've gotten really busy at work, I've slacked at the gym and I've made it my mission to kick myself back into gear. In addition, I'm working on ways to help channel my stress at work. I have some habits when I get stressed (eating, becoming snappy) that I need to work on. Finally, I plan on proposing by the end of this year. I'm taking things a day at a time, but 2012 will be an exciting year for me. I hope everyone else reading this is finding their way along their journey! Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 What's up Kid. Glad to hear things are going well. Congrats on the future proposal. I work in a highly stressful environment as well and I will tell you that eating right and working out will do you an immense amount of good at the office. I know how the days can add up quickly when you're busy. Then you look back and haven't been in the gym in weeks. Get in a routine and you'll be fine. I should probably update my story. That's if any of us are still around to read it. Funny how life goes on and you wake up and loom back and just say wow. Link to comment
italiannmf24 Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Finally,I plan on proposing by the end of this year. I'm taking things a day at a time, but 2012 will be an exciting year for me. That's fantastic news, Kid. You really know what you're doing in life and I find your story inspirational at the least. Kudos to your new life! -Italiannmf24 Link to comment
thekid55 Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 It's been nearly six months since I posted in here. I used to live to write in this journal and I couldn't thank ENA for giving me a place to voice my frustrations/opinions/etc. To bring everyone up to speed, we are still together. In fact, we are both more in love with each other than ever before. Her and I are planning to move in together within the next few weeks. In addition, I'm going to buy her engagement ring this weekend. We've taken trips to the jewelry store and I know exactly what she wants. I plan on proposing in late September. To all the people who feel hopeless, I invite you to re-read some parts of this journal. You will see that I was broken down, devastated, but I worked my way through it. Life has a funny way of working itself out, so don't lose hope and keep working on yourselves. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Hi, I only just saw this. Congratulations! Link to comment
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